Restricted
by ToniLOVESjolie
Summary: When Police Officer Natalie Buchanan goes in search of a serial killer she is forced to ask for help from an unexpected and unwanted source. John McBain is a man of little words and a dark past, when he decides to help a very head strong woman will it become his undoing and make him question everything he believes in? Very heavy sexual Content and a dark theme, be warned!And Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

This should of been like any other night out patroling the streets and keeping them safe from the wrong doers. She had picked this career choice not only cause of her own upbringing but also for the overwhelming need to help others, it was in her nature. She fought to right the wrongs of the world on a daily basis and today was no different.

But standing here now, her face drained of all its color as she stared unable to move at the ground below. It was stained red and she felt the tightening knot in her stomach, this was shock, she was in shock, she blinked feverishly at the scene below her, it seemed unreal, like a dream or a nightmare that she desperately wanted to wake up from.

The feeling of a hand coming onto her arm made her jump slightly as she turned and looked into a pair of soft brown eyes that were filled with sadness, no this couldnt be happening, it wasnt happening, how could this be happening?

"Natalie come on" his voice was soft, low, sympathic as he looked at her..

She couldnt speak, her throat closed as she stood there, she looked down again at the blonde hair stained red, the lifeless eyes staring up at her, she felt her knees get weak as she stood there..

"Natalie please" his voice was a soft plead but she couldnt leave, not now..

"No" she found her voice as she pulled her arm back from his grasp. She had seen death before, too many times to count, she had become numb to it but this, this she couldnt take. Her eyes scanned the body and she began to shake some, blinking the tears that had begun to fill her eyes, the sound of a camera snapping a picture made her head snap up as she looked at the forensic crew doing their job, in that moment it infuriated her, her overwhelming sadness became anger. Anger at the situation, anger at the people standing around, one of the forensic tech moved closer to the body snapping a picture of the rope around the neck.."stop it, all of you stop" she finally yelled out in a voice that cracked with emotion as they looked at her..

She had tried to pretend that the body in front of her was just that, a body but she couldnt do it, not even as strong as she was could she of ever prepared herself for this, it wasnt just a nameless body laying dead on the hard concrete in some back alley in her town, this was her town and that body, that was her sister!

"back up, now...leave her alone" she yelled again as she knelt down and stared into those blue eyes that had grown cold and empty.."Jessica" she whispered with emotion as she looked at her sister, the one she had fought with just days before. She was dead, stabbed to death and strangled with a rope..

A hand came down on her shoulder and she didnt look to see who it was but the familiarity of the hand made her know, she reached her shaking hands down, touching the cold skin, her fingers slid over the lifeless eyes staring up in horror at her and she closed the lids as her own tears silently fell to the ground below..

Chapter One

The scene resembled one out of a horror movie not that she wasnt use to seeing this, it just wasnt something one saw on a daily basis, even being a police officer. Lanview, Pennsylvania was a small town not a huge bustling city like she had grown up in, no this was very different then Atlantic City.

Here houses laid neatly side by side, well manecured lawns, a small mom and pop grocery store as well as a small quaint bar half of the town would find themselves at on a Saturday night, enjoying the surrounding with a game of pool or some darts as the old jukebox played in the background.

Yes Lanview was very different but here just on the outskirts of town, this place was different and even with all the things her job had lead her to over the years well even this made her feel like a wide eyed child as she stared in somewhat disbelief, who even knew a place like this exsisted?

The sound of the forensic techs moving around and snapping pictures snapped her from her thoughts as she glanced down once more at the lifeless body of the young blonde, the one that as of right now had no name, she looked maybe 24 years old, too young to go out this way, the strangle marks on her neck and the blank staring eyes looking up at the ceiling made her stomach turn in disgust, how could someone do this to her, she was someones daughter, maybe she was a mother, a sister..

The thought of her own sister made a stinging burn deep in her belly, she tried not to think about it but how could she not, this was mirroring what she had seen just a few short months earlier.

"I dont understand why you are giving me the third degree when there is a murderer out there" an outraged voice yelled and she snapped her head around to see her uncle who happened to be the police chief standing there questioning a man who was becoming increasingly anxious and distressed..

She couldnt help herself as she stormed over, leaving the body of the young girl on the ground, crimes like these pissed her off more than anything and seeing this man yell at her uncle, well it did something to her, it infuriated her..

"Excuse Me Mr. McBain!" she snapped, her voice commanding attention as her uncle looked at her and the wide eyed man now in front of her, his eyes glaring at her..

"Excuse you" he said equally sarcastic as he looked her up and down..

"as of right now this is an open investigation" her uncle finally snapped as the man rolled his eyes at her and brought his attention back to the man in front of him..

"this is now a crime scene so unless you would rather answer our questions down at the station" her voice was a warning and he looked back at her, almost a look of shock in his eyes but it was mixed with something else, dark humor maybe as a forced smile tightened his lips..

He glanced at her and then stared hard.."Officer Buchanan is it" he cocked his head to the side, his face held a smile but his tone held something else, it put her off and she cringed internally, who the hell was this guy? Why the hell was he in her town!.."The person that did this is out there somewhere" he began and she rolled her eyes at him..

"Maybe the person who did this is still here, maybe he is right here, standing right in front of me" she said in a challenging tone as she stared into those icy blue eyes..

"Natalie" her uncle said warningly to her, she knew this was against what she had learned in the academy but to hell with what she learned this place was a damn torture house and a young girl lay dead because of it!

"i know my rights and unless your going to arrest me" he snapped at her, his hands on his hips as he stood his ground, before she could talk her uncle did..

"No one is arresting anyone right now Mr. McBain, all i want is for you to answer some more questions so we can find who did this" her uncle said in a calm tone, he was always the one to try and keep the peace even at her dysfunctional family get togethers he did the same thing but this was a crime scene for god sake!

"Did you know the victim? Huh" she snapped at him angrily as the blue eyed man looked at her, brushing his long hair from his eyes he shook his head with a mix of disgust and anger that he was keeping at bay.."Maybe she said something you didnt like" she continued as her uncle tried to stop her, she was pissed, this guy was a sick sadistic bastard that much she did know otherwise why would he have this place.

"You dont know me, you dont know nothing about me" he said through gritted teeth..

"Oh please this place is a serial killers dream" she snapped harshly at him as his eyes got wide and dark..

"enough" her uncle said as he grabbed her arm and roughly pulled her to the side.."what are you doing Natalie, do you want us to be sued here we have protocal to go by" he said in a tone she wasnt use to hearing, he was angry, her uncle was actually pissed..

"Look around at this place, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to see what is going on here, he needs to be arrested" she snapped as she yanked her arm back roughly..

"Im not saying anymore until i have my lawyer" McBain said angrily..

"did you rape her before or after you killed her you son of a bitch" she yelled, her words slipping from her mouth before she could stop them, the sound in the room got dreadfully quiet and then she was being forcefully yanked away, she hadnt even fully noticed that she was lunging for this man until she was stumbling backwards as two officers grabbed her arms..

"thats it im pressing charges against her" the blue eyed man yelled..

"get her out of here, NOW" her uncle yelled at the officers as they literally dragged her out, her face red, her blood boiling..

The scene quickly turned chaotic as she let her personal feelings take over which was a huge No no especially being an authority figure..

"Let go of me Stevens, let go" she fought against her fellow officers as they brought her outside..They quickly let go of her as another officer rushed over to her, a look of shock and worry on his face..

"Natalie what the hell happened" the brown haired, brown eyed man said as she stormed past him to her car.. His name was Cristian her partner.."Natalie" he called out as she kept walking to her squad car, she was beyond infuriated.."Natalie wait" he caught up to her and she spun around..

"that son of a bitch killed her" she snapped bitterly..."That place is nothing but a house of pain and torture" she said again angrily. She was more upset knowing this place exsisted in her town, right under their noses, it was down right he could respond she saw her uncle coming back out with that man from inside, anger raced through her veins some more, he turned in her direction and shot her a nasty look..

"Natalie come on, lets just go" Cris said as he took her by the elbow, she looked like a dog about to attack.."Natalie" he said again, this time more urgently, her behaviour at the present time could have many consequences, none of them he wanted to see happen.. She finally snapped out of the glaring she was doing..

"fine...fine...lets go" she said against her better judgements, what she really wanted to do was run over to this guy and make him suffer like that poor girl had but instead she turned for her car, Cris on her heels as she got in and they both quickly took off..

Being an officer of the law Natalie knew that having an outburst at the scene of a crime was completely wrong, not only could it hurt a future case but it could end up with the department being sued for slander and defamation of character, standing in her uncles office now she knew that her outburst was definitely going to cost her, she could see it in her uncles eyes as he spoke to the man who owned this place of torture, she watched intently as they spoke outside the office, their voices low enough that she couldnt hear what was being said but she knew this much, he wasnt being arrested, well atleast not yet.

She kept her arms securely around her chest as she stood there just watching, her mind racing with images, she was upset and angry and she knew exactlly why, it wasnt too long ago that she had seen something similar to this but it had involved her family, her sister to be exact, it was almost three months ago and the images were still fresh in her mind, Jessica had met her untimely end in a cruel twist of fate that left her laying in an alleyway, strangled,stabbed and lifeless..

The sight of her uncle turning and coming back in the office filled her with anxiety and well anger as she went to talk but he put his hand up abruptly stopping her as she closed her mouth quickly before a word got out..

"Please sit natalie" he said with almost an exhausted tone. She knew he had been through alot these past few months, they all had; with Jessica's death still weighing heavy on them and now this, it was very disconcerning..He let out a sigh as he rubbed his tired face, the lines on his face becoming more visible.."im sorry" his words surprised her as she blinked at him, she wasnt expecting an apology from him, she didnt dare speak.."I shouldnt of come off so harsh with you back there, its been a hard time for all of us" he said softly, sadness in his voice..

"You saw the kind of place that was Uncle Bo, it's just...I just" she couldnt find the right words as she looked at him..

"we cant go around accusing everyone for" his voice trailed off and she casted her eyes down, she knew he was right.."there is an open investigation going on, we cant afford to make mistakes because of personal issues" he said as he looked at her and she finally looked up now, meeting his gaze..

"I know and im sorry, i wont let it happen again" she said honestly, she hated that she let herself come off as unprofessional even considering the circumstances.

"You know you can take some time off if you needed to" his voice was low and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat..She hadnt taken a day off since Jessica had been found, she couldnt, she wouldnt let herself, she needed to work, she needed to keep her mind busy cause if she stopped even if for a second it was too much to bear even for her.

"Im fine" she said matter of factly as she sat still and he looked at her, his eyes softening..

"Natalie" his voice was full of concern..

She stood now, not wanting to have this conversation with him now, actually she rather not have this conversation ever, it was bad enough that she could barely even look at her family these days, no one talked about Jess or the reasons leading up to why she ended up in that alley cold and lifeless., it was easier to just not think about it..

Natalie was a Buchanan in every sense of the word except the fact that she was orignally a Balsam until events would lead her from the dark streets of AC to the warm welcoming town of lanview where she had lived with her aunt and uncle as well as Jess.

They were a wealthy family and definitely had alot of power. They had owned a local newspaper as well as her uncle being the police chief. Coming to lanview after her hellish upbringing was quite the reality check.

To go from not knowing when your next meal would be and if your mother would drink herself to death to sitting in the lap of luxury without a care in the world was a shock to the system.

"i would like to get back to work now" she said with a strong voice..

"it's nearly one am Natalie" he began and she hadnt realized it was so late, hell she barely slept these days as it was.."go home, get some sleep" he said with a soft smile and she decided not to fight with him about this, she would go home but she was very far away from getting sleep, sleep meant nightmares and nightmares she couldnt bear..

Her apartment was decorated in neutral colors of tan and white, it resembled more of a mans apartment but ematiculately clean, she hung her jacket up on the back of the door as she made her way inside, a yawn escaping her lips as she kicked off her shoes and made her way into the kitchen, she opened the fridge and groaned slightly at the bare inside, all she had was a few beers and two bottles of water..

Grabbing a beer she made her way to the livingroom and stared for a second, god this place was depressing. It was eerily quiet as she stood there and then slowly sipped her beer. The events from the day starting to flood back in her mind as she stood there, she flipped on the tv quickly wanting to drown out her own thoughts but it was as if the universe had another idea for her cause right there on the television screen was a picture of the girl she had seen earlier, Anne, her name was Anne. A second later she was turning off the tv as she quickly walked to her room and to her closet, she peered inside and finally grabbed a large white box and placed it on the bed, she looked at it for a few seconds as if the contents inside would come out to bite her.

With a shake of her head she finally put down her beer and opened the box and looked inside, grabbing a few folders she placed them on her bed and began thumbing through them almost frantically, she stopped as her eyes landed on a picture and she dropped the folder onto her bed, the contents spilling out as she stepped back and took a deep breath.

She paced for what seemed like hours as she looked at the box, she was trying to find the strength to look again, why couldnt she do this? She hated that she felt like a small scared child as she stood there, nervously rubbing her hands and then with a final long breath she grabbed the picture and stared hard, it was jessica..

Looking at the crime scene photo made her mind fly back to that night in the alley, the one she tried not to think about, the one that left her sister lifeless and cold but this time there was no tears as she looked at the picture, only anger, a deep anger at who had done this to her, she put the picture down and began flipping through the papers stacked neatly in the box, the box she shouldnt have for all intensive purposes but she didnt care, the case had grown cold well atleast until tonight, she thought back to Anne, the young girl laying dead.

She grabbed another folder and then walked to the otherside of the bed, opening the folder she began to read. The details of this case were enough to jar anyones mind and they were also being hidden by her uncle, yes the Buchanan's had their fair share of skeletons in their closet and one huge skeleton was Jess or until her passing she was better known as Tess, the alternate personality that had taken over her sisters body.

It was bad enough that at the age of 16 natalie had found out that the woman who had raised her and her brother Rex was not really their mother at all, she had bought Natalie from a man, a man who had wanted nothing more than to torture her real mother, the woman she had only known as Aunt Vicki.

Her Aunt had given birth to two beautiful baby girls 25 years ago but in the midst of chaos she had been told that one of them died, that little girl would grow up to be Natalie, a fragile red headed girl who spent the majority of her youth raising her younger brother rex and taking care of her alcoholic mother.

It was by chance that natalie had learned of her true birth right, a night she would never forget, a night that would forever be burned in her mind. She blinked back the images of that horrifying night trying desperately to forget it, she was a different person now, in a better place, with a family that loved her, she was a Buchanan.

She glanced back at the writtings on the paper, the ones that held the details of the crime scene from that day just a few months prior.. It wasnt hard to believe that Tess had enemies, hell she was a hell raiser who lived in self gratification, Natalie had dreaded this day, the day when tess would go to far even for someone as strong as she, even Tess had her limits..

The murderer was still out there, somewhere, maybe still in Lanview, maybe even the same person who killed sweet Anne, natalie thought back to her and her lips tightened in response, she thought of the blue eyed man with the sadistic look on his face, it made her blood boil.

He ran a club that advertised quite proudly that it inflicted pain on others, that he inflicted pain on others, that sick son of a bitch! Natalie felt her blood run cold as she continued to read and then out of the bottom of the folder a small shiny black business card fell out and landed between her crossed legs, she looked at it, studying the black gloss. It was blank on one side and she flipped it over..Only a phone number laced in white fonts was on the back, she cocked her head to the side, she hadnt seen this before, she quickly grabbed her phone and dialed..

The ringing seem to go on forever and she nearly hung up but then a loud voice caught her off guard.."Mcbain!' his voice was loud, irritated and commanding, she couldnt speak as shock filled her.."hello?" his voice got louder and she quickly hung up as she stared at her phone and the sudden realization she had made. Why the hell would this of been on Jessica, er Tess. Why the hell was he answering, she felt sick, her stomach twisting as she sat there and then her phone began to ring, she grabbed it with shaky fingers and saw that he was calling her back, she tossed the phone on her bed and just stared at it, it rang three times and then stopped, she felt sick maybe she had been looking into the eyes of a killer tonight!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

She felt uneasy as she sat at her desk at work, the black shiny business card sitting on the desk taunting her. Why would tess have his card, did he know her, were they somehow involved, she felt sick at the idea, the sound of light rapping on her door made her snap her head up as her partner Cris came walking in..

"Hey you ok" he asked in a soft tone as he came over and sat down in front of her desk.

"yeah im fine" she forced a smile..

Cristian Vega had befriended her when she had joined the academy. He was a very good looking guy, his brown hair short and cropped, no sign of facial hair actually to be honest he still looked like a young boy from the neck up but his body was something else, he definitely worked out and it showed, and apparently the sun agreed with him too, tanning his body to a golden color, Yes Cristian Vega was hot but he was also her partner and well when it came to men Natalie kept them at an arms length, she had to, they brought too much complication, something she didnt want or need.

Her last boyfriend was right after she had joined the academy, he was a fellow rookie by the name of Brody Lovette, even though boyfriend wouldnt quite be the name she would call them, maybe just friends with benefits. He had wanted things to progress and in the fashion that is Natalie herself she withdrew and began making excuses and before he knew what hit him they were again on a friend basis.

But she got lonely at times, not having anyone to find comfort in especially after a long night at work but being with someone, trusting someone came with a price and she honestly couldnt find it in herself to trust anyone not even her partner cris who was more than obvious at times about how he felt about her but she wouldnt go there with him, not now, not ever. Never mix business with pleasure, she had learned that the hard way Brody who had turned into an absolute child after their fling ended, thankfully he had hooked up with someone quickly and left her alone eventually..

"You wanna talk about yesterday" Cris said in his compassionate tone that he always got when he was around her, he had been a good friend, a reliable partner but even she didnt want to talk to him about Jess, she didnt want to talk about it period.

"I think that son of a bitch killed her" she said as her eyes got dark and she glanced at the business card on the table, suddenly she knew what she had to do, she got up abruptly making Cris jump slightly in his seat..

"who?" he asked with confusion..

"nevermind, listen i gotta run" she went to the door and he began to follow her..

"natalie let me go with you, you know how your uncle gets when you go off alone" he said low and she sighed, of course her uncle would absolutely throw a fit, she let out a deep breath..

"fine but im driving lets go" she said quickly as he still looked at her confused..

"but where are we going" he began but she kept walking and he quickly followed her out of the precient.

Cris's eyes got wide as he saw where she was pulling up, the oversized warehouse seemed innocent in the daylight she thought sarcastically.

"natalie i dont think we should be here" he said as she got out of the car and adjusted her navy blue police uniform, she tightened her pony tail as she looked at the building, her skin began to crawl and she rubbed her covered arms absentmindedly.."natalie we shouldnt be here" Cris said again as he came over to her..

"why?" she said with the sweetest smile she could force and he frowned.."its fine, im fine" she lost her smile now..

"natalie" he said as he reached out and grabbed her arm and she looked down at it and then at him, he quickly let go..

"I would of just came by myself Cris" she snapped a bit rudely..

"he could of pressed charges on you yesterday, why are you pressing the matter" he said with concern and worry..

Natalie let out an exsasperated sigh.."Listen i just want to ask him some questions ok"

"I dont know Natalie, this just seems" he began and she rolled her eyes with annoyance..

"its fine ok" she stalked away from him, she knew how to handle herself like an adult, sure she was a bit out of control yesterday but she had time to think, alot of time, too much time, she pulled open the heavy steel door and stepped inside as a ding above the door was heard announcing her presence, she felt her stomach turn as she looked around at the lobby area, oh how decieving looks could be, she stared at another set of doors and her stomach tightened.

"we really shouldnt be here" Cris continued and she shot him a look, god she should of just took her chances and left alone, so what she would have to deal with her uncle, god she hated dealing with his disappointment and anger especially when he was her favorite Buchanan.

Before she could snap at cris the two large doors across the room opened and in walked Mr. Sadistic Blue Eyes himself, his eyes immediately grew dark as he looked at her..

"what do you want!" he snapped angrily.."I hope you have a search warrant" he grit his teeth as he stood there..

"Mr. McBain i apologize for my outburst yesterday" she began as sweetly as she could, she clenched her fists to hold in her anger as she forced a smile..

He looked at her and then at Cris, then back at her, he wasnt buying it..

"we just had a few more questions that is all" Cris began as natalie shot him a look..

"yeah well if you havent noticed im busy, thanks to you and the good ole lanview police department i have to clean up your mess not to mention the thousands of dollars in damage" he snapped bitterly as he looked at them..

"Mr. McBain" she began..

He cut her off.."Officer Buchanan" he said between tight lips as he glared at her, the room quickly filled with awkward silence as the ridiculous staring contest carried on, it was like a test of wills and Cris was watching them both intently..

"natalie" Cris began and it forced her to look away but not before she saw the look of a satifying grin on Mcbains face, it pissed her off..

"Just go in the car Officer Vega" she snapped at him as he looked at her all wide eyed, McBain now leaned on the door, an amused look on his face as he watched.."Just go" she ordered him and he sighed as he rolled his eyes and then huffed, marching out the door, Natalie tried to regain her composure..

"impressive, very domineering of you" his cocky voice made her snap her voice around as she glared at him.

"im glad you find this amusing Mr. McBain" she said through gritted teeth, sadly she hated to admit it but even though he was a cocky son of a bitch and possibly a murderer he was quite well hot.

He stood leaning against the door with a very tight fitted black tshirt and faded jeans that hung off of his hips, black boots on his feet, his hair out of control and long as it hung in his face, covering his eyes slightly, he brushed it back with his hand which showed a hint of a tattoo on his bicep. She couldnt believe that for a second she was oogling him. A smile curved his lips as he looked at her..

"I know why you are here Officer Buchanan" he grinned some, he almost seemed playful even though something dark hid behind his eyes..

Natalie was snapped back into reality.."Oh i seriously doubt that" she said sarcastically as she put her hands on her hips, trying to stand tall, trying to intimidate him..

"Oh you'll have to do better than that Officer Buchanan" he grinned..

"what? I dont even know what your talking about" she snapped, he made her nervous like seriously, honest to goodness nervous, she didnt like it..

"Intimidation Officer Buchanan, it doesnt work with me, not last night, or tonight" he said with a smug grin..

" " she said frustrated as she raised her voice and he turned from her looking bored and then he was walking back through the doors he had come from, she huffed and shook her head, he was absolutely unbelievable, she thought about leaving, she wasnt going to get anywhere with him, he was impossible but then she remembered the card, she had to know why Jess had it, she had to know if he was some how involved, against her better judgement she walked to the doors he had disappeared through and she pushed them open.

Stepping inside the large room, the same room she had been in the night before, her eyes surveyed the damage and then locked in on the faint white chalk drawing of a body on the hard ground. She stopped as she stared at it.

"Im glad to see our tax dollars are hard at work" he said sarcastically as she looked up now, he had a drink in his hand, scotch maybe, she didnt care.."Drink?" he smiled some..

"I didnt come here for small talk Mr. McBain" she found her voice again and snapped at him.

He began walking towards her, striding confidently, arrogantly as he sipped his drink.."Oh really now then what brought you back here Natalie" he smiled smugly..

"its Officer Buchanan" she said as she glared..

"of course, Officer Buchanan" he kept his eyes on her and then stopped a few feet short, he glanced at her cuffs hanging from her navy blue pants.."You get to carry yours around and yet im the freak" he grinned as he took another long sip, licking his lips some as he looked at her.

It took her a second to know what he was referring to and she immediately began to blush some, who the hell was this guy! She stood up taller and composed herself.."Mine are used legally Mr. McBain" she stared at him, a cocky grin on her face..

"so are mine except it's usually alot more pleasurable when i put them on you" he grinned, she felt her face flush again, a deep red, he was trying to mess with her, she didnt like it.

"do i have to remind you that i am an Officer of the law and that harassment is illegal" she snapped with a satisfying grin..

The playful look on his face dropped almost immediately, he looked mad again and she gulped.."what do you want Officer Buchanan" he snapped and his tone made her jump slightly..He definitely was bi-polar!

"I want to know if you know who this woman is" she said sternly as she took a picture out of her back pocket and held it up, he glanced at it and then at her..

"I have no idea who that is" he began as he turned from her nonchalantly and made his way back to the bar in the back..

"then please explain to me how I got this" she snapped as she pulled out the black business card, he turned as he reached the bar.."this was found on her, and yes i mean her body" she said angrily..

"so it was you who called last night" he said dryly as he poured himself another drink and she began walking towards him..

"Im not in the mood for games Mr. McBain, tell me what you know" she slammed the picture and the card on the bar as he looked at it then her, his eyes darkening..He took another sip of his drink as he blinked at her arrogantly..

"i believe this conversation is over" he said through gritted teeth..

"is that an omition of guilt" she knew she was treading on dangerous ground, she didnt care..

"You really have quite the mouth on you officer buchanan, I advise you to leave before you really make me mad" he said cooly even though his eyes held a threat..

Natalie had a million things running through her head but she bit her tongue, she could already see her uncle looking at her with those disappointed eyes.."I will find out" she said as she spun around, snatching up the pictures and the card.

"You know what they say about curiosity Officer Buchanan" he called out and she kept walking, he was trying to egg her on, she wasnt going to let him win, she quickly stormed out as he stood there, sipping his drink.

Cris ran over to her as she stepped out into the blaring sun, she had to shield her eyes for a second..

"Lets just go" she said warningly to Cris, she didnt want to talk about anything..

"Natalie i told you coming here was a bad idea" he said low as she shot him a nasty look and he quickly shut his mouth, she opened up the car door and just as she was about to jump in the front door opened and he stepped out..

"Her name was Tess" he yelled out and she spun her head around and looked at him, she immediately began walking fast towards him.."You said that card was found on her body, does that mean that" he began..

"Yes Mr. Mcbain she is" her voice trailed off but she stood there strong, she knew he had information..He almost looked sad for moment but it passed quickly.."you knew her?"

"she didnt come around often but when she did well lets just say that she left a lasting impression" he was being cold again as he stood there and then he spun from her again..

"wait i have questions" she called out and he stopped for a moment..

"and im busy Officer Buchanan" he said as he slowly spun back around as he reached the door..

"this is official police business" she snapped at him.."If you know something"

"First off i dont take kindly to being told what to do, secondly im busy, if you would like to discuss this further then you will have to come back later" he began as he opened the door..

"Come back? But i am already here Mr. McBain" she said as she began walking towards the door.."I could make you answer my questions" she tried to intimidate him as best she could..

He smiled some, a cocky grin was more like it.."then you will get nothing" his jaw got tense as he looked at her..

Natalie sighed as she thought of what to say, if he did know something about Jessica, er tess then it would probably be wise not to piss him off, she softened her expression and bit her tongue..."what time"

"Im not sure but i have your number so i will call you" he said with a sarcastic smile and then he was walking inside as she stood there, she was half tempted to ask why he was willing to help but she decided to let it be for now, it took her a second to realize Cris was next to her talking..

"what the hell was that all about" he began.."he knew Tess?"

"he knows alot more then what he is saying and im going to find out just what it is" she said and then quickly walked back to her car, she would find out what he knew and if he was somehow involved in what happened to Tess then she would personally kill him herself!

Trying to concentrate on work when her mind was a million other places like potentially finding out who killed her sister or better yet talking to the man who quite possibly had a hand in it was unnerving. Natalie didnt rattle easily but something about him, about Mr. McBain, well it intimidated her, she tried to shrug off the feeling deep in her stomach. Who lives like that? Like really lives that kind of way, surely not Jessica, she couldnt even see Tess being part of it but then again Tess was in a world her own, doing as she pleased, maybe it wasnt so far fetched after all, the sound of a knock on her door began to stir her from her thoughts.

She glanced up to see Cris walk in, he looked a bit apprehensive, well she had chewed him out during their car ride back to the station..

"stop looking so scared" she said with a shake of her head..

"Im just wondering if your still going to give me the third degree" he said honestly as he came in, a slight smile forming on his lips. Cris had good intentions, she knew that and if she wasnt so fucked up in her own mind maybe she would of given him a chance but that would be in a perfect world and this world wasnt perfect and she surely wasnt either..

"I think i had my fill for today" she said as she glanced at the clock on the wall, it was nearly 9pm and yet he hadnt called, she was frustrated, annoyed, she should of known he was going to bail..

"maybe its a good thing he didnt call Natalie" Cris said in that overly compassionate tone that made her want to vomit, god why did he have to be this way, it really was annoying..

She cocked her head to the side.."he has information i need" she said quickly..

"the guy is a fucking weirdo nat, you know that, i mean come on he could of been responsible for that girl and for" he began and than thought twice about saying any more as she looked at him hard.."Im just saying he could be dangerous"

"Im not worried and frankly you shouldnt be either" she said honestly even though deep down inside she was a bit worried, the way he looked at her, the power he exhumed it was well, scary to be honest.

"the guy has a dungeon, who does that kind of thing" he said with a shake of his head..

"apparently alot of people if he is able to keep it up and running" she said dryly as the idea floated through her mind, wondering how many lanview residents were keeping a little dirty secret, before he could respond her phone rang and she quickly looked at it, not recognizing the number.."Buchanan" she said as she put a finger up to stop Cris from speaking..

"ah Officer Buchanan i was thinking you wouldnt answer" his voice rolled smoothly and it made her stomach tighten, wow, what the hell was that?

"Mr. McBain" she said through tight lips as Cris's eyes got wide.."i was beginning to think you reconsidered" she tried to keep her voice sweet and calm, she could play this game.

He let out a small laugh.."You are woman of many hats arent you Officer Buchanan"

She turned from Cris, suddenly feeling embarassed as if this guy on the other line was laughing at her, like making fun of her.."are you going to hold up your end of the bargain Mr. McBain" she quickly..

"I called didnt I?" she could almost imagine his cocky ass grin as he spoke.."why dont you meet me outside" his voice was almost a command as her eyes got wide..

"Your here?" she said with surprise as Cris began shaking his head in disapproval..

"I wont wait long" he said and then the phone line went dead as she stood there staring at her phone..

"He came here, he is outside?" Cris said with shock in his voice..She looked at him.."Your not really going to go down there are you?"

"I have to" she said as she grabbed her purse and Cris grabbed her arm before she left her office..

"Natalie this guy is dangerous" he said with a seriousness to his voice..

"and he also has information, if you havent noticed we may have a serial killer on our hands" she snapped as she yanked her arm back..

"he could be the serial killer" he said as he raised his voice..

"well its a good thing im a cop then" she said as she spun from him and he ran his hand through his hair, he didnt like this, he didnt like it one bit..

Natalie felt nervous as she made her way outside, why had he showed up there, was this all some sort of game to him, was he trying to mess with her? She stopped as she entered the parking lot, he was standing by a very pricy brand new black charger, he glanced up at her and began making his way over, he had changed his clothes and now was dressed in a dark blue silk button down shirt and black slacks, his hair pulled back in a pony tail, he looked absolutely gorgeous, she silently chastised herself for thinking such things, he could be a murderer!

He grinned wide as he walked over.."I dont like to wait" his tone was stern as he looked at her and she rolled her eyes at him, his stare intensified..

"I never said to meet me here" she said sarcastically as he stood a few feet away from her..

"I like to improvise" he grinned some now as he walked over to the passenger side door and opened it, she looked at it and began to laugh..

"I am not getting in your car Mr. McBain" she laughed sarcastically, was he for real?

"how important is this to you" he challenged her as she stopped laughing and looked at him.."get in the car" he said in a low demand, it made her stomach tighten, why the hell did his voice have to sound like that, so husky, so strong, so damn sexy!

"No" she stood her ground.."I have my own car"

"Im only going to ask you one more time, Get. in. The . Car" he said low, his voice deep as he stared at her..

"im not in the mood for games Mr. Mcbain" she said with another roll of her eyes, he was definitely toying with her..He stood there looking impatient and then he closed the door and turned from her without saying a word.."Your kidding, right" she said sarcastically, was he for real? He kept walking to the drivers side, ignoring her.."so if i dont go with you then you wont talk to me" she said as he finally looked at her now, he stared at her actually.."Unbelievable" she snapped as she stormed over to his car and he walked back over to the passenger door as she reached it, he opened it as he looked at her..

"I dont play games, atleast not that kind, get in" he said with that oh so husky voice, she ignored the nagging feeling in her gut..

"You do know i have a gun and i know how to use it" she said with seriousness and now his face lightened up some..He held the door wider and she huffed as she got into the car and he closed the door, she took a deep breath as she sat there, what the hell had she gotten herself into..

He got in the car and started it and then looked at her.."Im hungry" he said as he began to drive.."what do you want to eat" she looked at him shocked, was he trying to feed her, what the hell was his deal..

"well im not hungry Mr. McBain" she snapped as he looked at her as he drove.."I want to know what you know about Tess" she said with agitation..

"well i want to eat, hasnt anyone ever told you that patience is a virtue" he said as he kept his eyes on the road..

"something tells me that you know little about virtue" she said sarcastically..

"Oh you would be surprised Officer Buchanan" he looked at her now, his eyes darkening, she quickly looked away, ok so he could be a serial killer but he really was damn hot and well his car was out of this world, how the hell could he afford it. Hell she was a Buchanan and she drove in a honda civic for god sake!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Neither of them spoke as he drove but she kept her eyes on her surroundings, he was driving across the town, she felt nervous, where the heck was he taking her, he said he was hungry, they passed a ton of fast food restuarants, where the hell was he going?.

After about twenty minutes she was about to finally say something but he stopped the car as she glanced up at the large sign that was The Palace Hotel and Restuarant..He got out before she could say anything and she grunted with annoyance, she went to open her car door but he did before she could, she quickly got out..

"The Palace?" she said with a roll of her eyes, this place was very expensive, like top of the line expensive..

"they have good steak" he shrugged his shoulders as he looked at her.."come" he took her by the elbow and began walking, she huffed..

"You know i am still in my police uniform" she said dryly, she hadnt even had time to change, he kept walking, his hand on her elbow.."im not even hungry" she said as they got to the door..

"Im sure you will work up an appetite" he grinned some.."after you" he held his arm out and she rolled her eyes and walked in..

They were immediately greeted by a young blonde waitress, she seemed flustered by McBain as she fumbled with the menus and lead them to a table, he smiled sweetly at the girl and she blushed from ear to ear..

"what can i get you both to drink" the girl said with a nervous smile as she stared at Mr. EgoManiac himself..

"scotch on the rocks, two of them" he said and then looked at Natalie, the waitress was still drooling over him..

"a beer, in a bottle" she said with a sarcastic roll of her eyes, that girl was being really dramatic, so he was cute, ok maybe hot but still, get a damn grip!

The girl scurried away quickly as McBain smiled a bit devishly.."a beer? Very classy, very Buchanan-ish of you"

"we passed like two McDonalds and a Wendy's" she said sarcastically..

"Im a man of rare tastes Natalie" his words were low, husky, it made her swallow hard, the way he used her name, damn him!.."Im sorry i mean Officer Buchanan" he grinned as the young waitress came back over and nearly dropped the drinks, McBain removed them from her hand and she acted as if she was going to pass out, Natalie quickly yanked the beer from her and shot her a look, the girl scurried off again.."so where were we, oh yes im starving" he said as he looked at her, like really looked at her and she grabbed the menu and shoved it in her face rudely..

"You know i should just order one of everything on this menu" she said with a wicked grin as she kept the menu up, that would serve him well, make him go damn broke..

"thats not a bad idea" he said as she put the menu down, he was waving over the waitress who was still blushing like a school girl.."we'll take one of everything" he said as he put down the menu, the girl looked at him with wide eyes..

"what?" Natalie spat out, surely he was kidding..He looked at her..His eyes intense..

"Im picky what can i say" he smiled smugly at natalie and then looked back at the girl, she grabbed the menus and hurried off as Natalie took a huge sip of her beer, he was unbelievable!.."You know you cant savor the beer if your going to drink like a fish" he said as he sipped on his drink..

Natalie looked at him challenging and tipped the beer bottle to her mouth, she downed the whole thing and then clanked it on the table.."another one please" she called out almost rudely as he looked at her and grinned some, she shot him a sarcastic look..

"You are definitely one of a kind Officer" he grinned as he tipped his glass at her and she glared at him, oh he was good, real good!

Natalie began drinking her second beer as soon as it arrived.."you know i dont know what kind of game your trying to play here" she began as he looked at her, his head cocked to the side, a small grin on his face..

"I already told you I dont play games officer" he said in a low voice..

"yeah well i dont have all night and since you have them cooking up everything on the damn menu" she began as she drank her beer.."which brings me to my next question why are you offering to tell me information in the first place" she said as she stared him down as strongly as she could..

"I was bored" he shrugged his shoulders some..

"Oh thats great, you were bored, so im just wasting my time here" she was getting annoyed now..

"what other wonderous plans do you have Natalie, hmmm?" he cocked his head slightly.. She ignored the fact that he called her by her name, he was trying to mess with her, she wasnt going to act affected, but was she, was she affected by him, the idea seemed ridiculous!

"if you havent noticed i work for a living" she snapped a bit..

"as do i" he continued to sip his drink and she let out a snort..

"yeah ok what you do is definitely not work" she rolled her eyes..

He looked insulted as he stared at her, it made her feel small as she swallowed the lump in her throat, maybe she was crossing the line?

"for an authority figure you are very judgemental" he said coldly as he looked at her.."why is that?"

"Im sorry, what?" she said with a bit of shock..

"is it just fear of the unknown, easier to judge than to accept that the world isnt all rainbows and roses" he had a seriousness to his voice, it irked her..

"Im a police officer Mr. McBain, I of all people know that the world can be a dark place" she said defensively..

"so what made you become so close minded" he asked seriously..

"closed minded, i am not closed minded" she again said defensively..

"I wouldnt of thought so,.. i mean growing up in AC with a not so easy life" he began as her eyes got wide with shock.."You should be the least judgemental person out there"

"did you do a background check on me" she said with shock and insult in her voice..

"i like to know who i am dealing with, wouldnt you?" he stared at her.. Damn it she hadnt run any background checks on him at all and she worked at the police station! She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.."wow maybe i misjudged you then Officer Buchanan, i was sure you would of checked me out" a small grin flashed his lips..She didnt know what to say, she felt like an idiot to be honest, she should of did a background check on him damn it!

The first dishes arrived to the table and she took the opportunity to change the subject as she made a mental note to do a background check pronto on him. She began putting food on her plate as he looked at her, a smug grin on his face..

"i thought you werent hungry" he said with a smirk, she rolled her eyes and she shoved food in her mouth and began to eat..

They ate in relative silence as the plates came to the table until there wasnt enough room for them, she had eaten way more then she had wanted and she finally dropped her fork on the dish praying she wouldnt lose the contents of her stomach as he sipped his drink..

"How well did you know Anne" she finally said as he glanced up at her as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"quite well" his answer was short and she sighed, if he was going to answer like this all the time then they would be here all night..

"do you have alot of enemies Mr. McBain" she said quickly..

"I do believe I have answered all of these questions already back at the station" he sipped his drink..

"Listen you said you would help" she said with annoyance..

"I did and I am, i dont go back on my word Officer" his voice held a seriousness to it.."did you know Anne?"

She looked at him a bit shocked.."No unfortunately I did not" she said low..

"But you did know Tess?" he raised an eyebrow..

She didnt answer his question this time.."when was the last time you saw her"

"when was the last time you saw her?" he answered her back with another question and she fidgeted in her seat some..

"this is not how it works Mr. Mcbain, i ask the questions and you answer" she said a bit sternly and his eyes lit up for a second and then his mouth formed a hard line as he looked at her.."I just want some answers that is all" she said low this time..

"My clientel expect me to respect their privacy" he began..

"Your clientel are dying, doesnt that bother you in the least" she snapped, fully frustrated now..

His eyes grew dark as he looked at her.."Dont presume to think you know me Officer, that would be very very unwise of you" his voice had an edge to it, it made her uncomfortable as she sat there and drank on her third beer.."You have not done your research Officer, im a bit shocked and well disappointed, i would of expected more from you" he said in almost a nonchalant tone but she felt like he was making a personal attack..

"Mr. Mcbain, there are two women dead, they are both somehow linked to you, to your club, i know what your club is, i am not stupid" she said as confidently as she could, he looked amused..

"Oh you do now Officer, please do tell" he was getting a kick out of this..

"I did not come here for this Mr. McBain, you may treat all women like your slaves but i am not one of them" she stood up now, fully insulted by his attitude, he stood too..

"slaves? Now i know you certainly didnt do your homework, im insulted" his voice was serious as she stood there and looked at him..The waitress came over to the table as they both stood there, awkward tension filling the space..He handed her a credit card and she quickly took off with it, he kept his eyes on natalie the entire time..

"this was a waste of my time" she snapped as she walked around the table, she wasnt going to get anywhere with him, he just wanted to play this power game and she wasnt having it..

"was your sister a waste of time" he called out and she froze as she turned slightly to look at him, he just stared at her with a calm and cool look, she quickly walked over to him..

"tell me what you know" she said sternly..

"Ive already told you, trying to demand information from me doesnt work Officer Buchanan" he said dryly as he looked over at the waitress who had his credit card, he took it from her and gave her a soft smile, she blushed and hurried off..He looked back at natalie who was fully annoyed now..

"so help me if you know something" she began and now he rolled his eyes as he walked past her, she huffed loud.."I did what you said, i came with you" she yelled in frustration but he kept walking till he got outside.."You said you would help" she yelled again and now he stopped outside..

"why do you care" he asked calmly as he looked at her and her eyes got wide, was he crazy, why did she care, this was her sister for god sake..

"she was my sister" she snapped defensively..

"was she now?" he cocked his head to the side..

"My sister is dead and she had your card on her body" she finally snapped..

"when was the last time you saw your sister Officer" he asked and she blinked her eyes some, he was unbelievable!.."answer the question" he said in that loud commanding voice that made her feel small..

"a few days before" her voice trailed off as she grit her teeth..

He looked at her confused as he tilted his head some.."if your not going to be honest with me then" he turned again for his car..

"Your unbelievable you know that Mr. Mcbain, i told you it was a few days before" she snapped as she stormed over to him, he stopped as he got in front of his car..

"No your lying and i hate liars! When was the last time you saw your sister Jessica!" he barked at her and her eyes got wide now, he knew, somehow he knew of the secret, she felt all the blood rush out of her face, her throat got dry, she couldnt speak.."Your sister had been gone for a long time Natalie, Tess was nothing to you, so why now the sudden interest you should be happy that her reign of terror is over" he said in a low angry voice..She couldnt even find the words to say, she was angry, upset, hell she wanted to hit him..She did the only thing she could think of, she spun from him, she was pissed."is it the guilt that you pushed her away when she needed you, that you abandoned her!" he yelled out as she stopped now and spun around..

"My sister was sick, she needed help not what you offered her!" she yelled angrily.."You took advantage of someone who was mentally unstable Mr. McBain!" she yelled as she visibly shook, she was so angry..

"Yeah i guess thats what you would see" he said low as he opened his car door.."when your ready to be open and honest with me then you know how to find me" he said as he got in his car and then he was leaving as she stood there, completely and totally frustrated, what a piece of work he was, she was pissed, she immediately got out her phone and dialed a number, her hands shaking almost violently..

"Natalie where are you?" Cris said with worry as he answered the phone..

"Im at The Palace come get me" she snapped angrily..

"The Palace?" he said with confusion..

"Damn it Cris just come and get me Ok" she said as she hung up abruptly, she was pissed, if McBain was going to play this game then she would play it too, she would get the information she needed one way or another!

Natalie got to her depressing apartment in record time, Cris had brought her back to the station and she promply picked up her car and flew home but once entering she immediately saw she wasnt alone as her brother Rex sat on her couch, the tv blaring, a half eaten pizza box on the table and he had a soda on the table without a damn coaster, she slammed the door as he jumped finally noticing her..

"hey there you are, i was beginning to worry" he said with a smile as he nervously began to clean up..

"damn it Rex how did you get in" she said as she shook her head, she wasnt in the mood for this right now..

"I thought my casa is su casa" he said with a nervous smile and she quickly picked up the can of soda from the table and frowned at the ring on her table..

"why arent you at your casa" she said sarcastically as she walked into the kitchen, the soda in her hand, she placed it on the counter..

"Oh about that" he began as he walked into the kitchen and she sighd heavily and quickly went into the fridge and grabbed a beer.."By the way Nat i mean you seriously need to go food shopping"

"Rex what did you do" she said as she took a hearty sip of her beer, she was so aggravated right now and at the top of her list was Mr. Domineering himself!

"man your in a bad mood, bad day at work?" he began as she looked at him and rolled her eyes as she walked past him..

"rex its been a long day ok" she said as she grabbed the box of pizza and shook her head in frustration..

"Your telling me its like almost 11pm and your just now coming home" he said as he looked at her..

"why are you here Rex" she began as he smiled nervously at her..

"cant a brother come by to visit his sister" he said sweetly and she rolled her eyes, she knew Rex, and she also knew that if he was at her place it was because he had gotten himself in trouble again.."Ok ok fine, but this is funny i swear" he said with a nervous laugh and she put down the pizza box as she stared at him straight faced.."Ok apparently my check for rent bounced" he fidgeted with his hands..

"Oh come on rex your killing me here" she sighed in frustration, she had just lent him money last week, hell she was lending him money for years now but she always did cause she felt bad for him, the Buchanan's hadnt been so welcoming to Rex especially since he didnt always follow the straight and narrow, if there was a scam out there he was the one to find it, it was as if he couldnt help himself.."what was it this time" she downed her beer..

"Listen i was sure that Lazy Bones was going to come out on top, i mean hell he was doing good for weeks" he said with an annoyed shake of his head..

"Lazy bones? English Rex" she shook her head and walked back in the kitchen..

"He's a really good horse, his odds are" he began as she spun around and looked at him..

"you were betting at the races again Rex" she snapped at him, he was always looking to get rich quick whether it be the horse races or poker games, she couldnt even remember the last time he had like a real job! "You promised rex" she shook her head..

"i know but" he began..

"you know what i dont even want to hear it, how much do you need" she said in an exhausted tone..He was quiet for a minute and she looked at him..

"about eight hundred" he swallowed hard and she sucked in a deep breath as she closed her eyes.."Listen Nat im good for it, you know that" he said low..

"Rex" she said as she shook her head in disapproval..

"Nat come on, look at me have i let you down yet" he began and it was like a trick question.."Your all i got nat" and there came the guilt, she could never say no to him cause she knew he was right, he was all she had in this world..

"Im gonna have to give you a check" she said as she walked past him and down to her room, he followed her..

"Oh hey by the way whats up with all of that stuff on your bed, im pretty sure your not suppose to have that" he began as she turned and looked at him in shock..

"You were in my room?" she said wide eyed, he shrugged his shoulders innocently.."unbelievable" she said with a sigh as she entered her room, her eyes went to the bed, half of it was covered with the files from the case..

"are you working on the case again, i thought Bo took you off because of " he began as she snapped her head around..

"do you want the check or not Rex" she snapped at him..He swallowed hard..

"well atleast let me help you, i have connections" he began softly and she let out a small laugh..

"yeah i think i will pass on your connections Rex" she said sarcastically, Rex's connections were not reliable not to mention they werent living exactlly what one would call a moral lifestyle.

"what?" he said innocently as she grabbed her check book and began writting a check out to him.."You know your the best Nat" he smiled as she ripped out the check and held it in her hand..

"Pay your rent rex, i mean it" she said as she held onto the check and he smiled bigger..

"I am, i will" he held his hand out to her and she closed her eyes as she handed him the check, he smiled bigger.."so um about this case" he began as she ran her hand through her hair, taking her pony tail out as she massaged her scalp, she was riddled with tension..

"Rex i got this" she said with a heavy breath..

"You look stressed Nat, its not good" he said with concern as she looked at him..

"im tired ok, its been a long day" she said as images of McBain came into her head, god he was impossible!

"Ok but you know im here if you need to talk" he said with a soft smile..

"I know" she forced a smile..He came up and hugged her tight..She wanted to cry but she held back her tears..

"I love you Nat" he whispered against her..

"I love you too rex, now please go and pay your rent ok" she said as she pulled back and he smiled..

"Ok... im on it" he grinned and then he spun from her but stopped at her bedroom door.."oh and you should really find a better hiding spot for that spare key" he smirked and then took off as she stood in her room, she took another deep breath and then stared at her bed, she rubbed her tired brow and her phone began to buzz in her pocket alerting her to a text message..

She yanked it from her pocket and looked at it..She didnt recognize the number..

**I have the answers you seek, keep that in mind Officer**

Natalie felt her blood boil again as she stared at her phone, she began to text back.

**No thanks, i will pass, i dont need your help**

She hit send and then tossed her phone on the bed and then she spun for her shower, screw him, she would do this without his help, she didnt have time for his games!

Her shower wasnt as relaxing as she would of liked, actually she felt exhasuted by the time she had gotten out of the shower, she pushed some of the files off to the side as she climbed into her bed and sighed, it was nearly 1230 now and she had to be up by six am, she grabbed her phone and immediately saw she had another text message, part of her didnt even want to look at it but she did anyways..

**Oh you do need me Officer, more than you know, im only a phone call away if you change your mind**

Natalie laughed outloud this time as she read his message and she opted not to even respond, he really was full of himself, she put her phone on her dresser, she didnt need anything from him and she certainly didnt need his help, she quickly fell into a not so rested sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

For the first time in years Natalie dreampt of her childhood, of the events leading her to come to lanview. It was unnerving how much it tore at her now, the images were as if it had just happened, she drank her coffee quick trying to drive the memories deep into her mind and then she thought of him, what a smug son of a bitch, she would do that background check today that was for sure!

Waiting for the background check to pop up on her computer screen had her nervously pacing her room, and well it made her angry, how dare he do a background on her, she was a cop for god sake! She still hadnt responded to his last text message and she wasnt planning on it, he was ridiculous and absurb! She huffed as she waited for the screen to load, what was taking so long? The sound of her door opening made her jump as she spun around to see a wide eyed Cris..

"we have to go on patrol" he began as she sighed, just great, this was absolutely horrible timing..

"fine.." she snapped angrily, she would have to wait till after to read his background..

"Your worrying me Nat" he began as she rolled her eyes at him..

"I am fine Cris" she said with a shake of her head..

"somethings are better left alone" he said low..

"are we gonna go or what" she snapped angrily as she walked to the door and he sighed as he followed her out..

They parked their car out by a long stretch of road by Main Street, they were fairly hidden as Cris held the radar detector, holding it at the passing traffic, so far no one was going over the speed limit..

"you know a bunch of us from the station are heading over to Rodi's after work" he began as her mind continued to wander, she glanced at him..

"no thanks" she said low. Natalie wasnt much of a socialite, she liked to be alone and she rarely ever hung out with her peers or co-workers, it always brought so much drama with it and she didnt have time for drama in her life, she would much rather get lost in a book or a good movie when she had free time..

"You know maybe what you need is to just unwind Nat, it wouldnt hurt" he continued..

"Cris i appreciate the invite, i do, im just not into all of that stuff" she said softly this time, she knew he was just trying to get her to go out and mingle and not become the workaholic she had become..

"stuff? Its just a few beers after work" he said as he looked at her..

"Im tired by the time i get home Cris" she rebuttled quick..

"come on when was the last time you actually got out?" he said with a hint of a smile..

"i go out ok, i went out last night for instance" she rolled her eyes at him..

"Ok well when was the last time you didnt go out with some freaky psychopath" he laughed.."come on Nat it would be fun plus then maybe Stevens can stop saying that he would beat you at a game of pool" he began as she snapped her head around with wide eyes..

"He said what?" she said with shock..

Cris shrugged his shoulders and grinned.."he is always saying he would beat you at a game of pool and since you never come out"

"Oh hell no, i would totally beat his ass in a game of pool" she said with a shake of her head..

"well i mean you could show him by coming out" he grinned..

"Your just trying to get me to come out" she said suspiciously as she looked at him..

"Ok dont believe me but he will be talking shit tonight" he smirked..

"oh really now, well we'll just see about that" she shook her head.. She wouldnt put it past Stevens to say crap about her and technically she owed him one for dragging her out of the crime scene the other day, it was so on, she was gonna show him a thing or two about playing pool!

"so is that a yes" he kept his eyes on the road...

"Hell yeah, Stevens is gonna learn to watch what he says" she grinned big, she could already picture look of defeat on his face, maybe this is just what she needed to get her mind off of her crazy life, yeah a little game of pool might just do the trick!

By the time Natalie got back to the office she had almost forgotten about her little background check on the freaky club owner, with her computer screen lit up she ran over and began to read, her eyes getting wide, all she could see is that he had been in the military for about six years and then after that it was completely bare, nothing more, nothing less which was odd, very odd, she stared at the screen some more, he was hiding something, she just knew it and she was going to find out what it was..

Sitting outside of Rodi's after work she was now regretting coming to the neighborhood bar. It had been so long since she had been out among her peers, so long since she just let herself unwind, hell she didnt even know what anyone looked like outside of their police uniforms!

She slowly got out of her car and pushed the anxiety that was creeping up in her belly , she had made a quick pit stop at home and changed her clothes, she doned a low cut pair of jeans and a black tight fitting tank top, sadly her wardrobe was not highend even with her being a Buchanan and all, she opted for comfortable more then anything else, she was never a skirt and dress kind of girl.

The parking lot was quite full even for a Monday night, she picked up the pace and quickly made her way inside. Immediately she was greeted by the loud jukebox playing, the place was definitely packed and she felt her nerves go crazy as she looked around, damn half of the police department was there, she took a deep breath, she could do this, she went to the bar and ordered a beer..

She took a long swig of the beer as she looked around, and then she saw them all at the pool table and yes Stevens was there and apparently winning as he flung his blonde hair back.

Stevens was around natalie's age, give or take a year or two but he looked way younger then her with his freshly shavened baby face, and dressed in some preppy ass clothes, it made her want to laugh as she walked over, suddenly feeling confident.

"and i do believe that is my game again" Stevens said with a triumpt smile..

"you willing to put your money where your mouth is" Natalie said as everyone turned and looked at her, a look of shock on their faces..

"Holy crap Buchanan you actually joined the living" Stevens said with a laugh as Cris grinned big, natalie smirked over at him..

"I heard you are talking alot of smack about me and my pool skills" she tilted the beer back and took a long sip of it as collective Oh's and Ah's were heard..

Stevens smiled a bit nervously.."maybe i did Buchanan" he smirked as he ran his hands through his bleached blonde hair..

"well why dont you make good one your words" she smirked as she grabbed a stick and began chalking it up, a couple of his friends began whispering to him, he actually looked nervous, it made her smile more.."so whats it gonna be" she raised an eyebrow..

"Oh its on Buchanan" he finally grinned after a pep talk from his boys.."but lets make this more interesting" he grinned big..

"bring it" she grinned big..

"the loser takes the others patrol duty all week" he smiled big, it wasnt a surprise that everyone hating patroling, the real fun was investigating the crimes..

"ok but" she smiled.."the winner gets to be referred to as the Queen of the game" she smiled bigger..

"or King" he rolled his eyes.."go on Buchanan, ladies first" he held his hand out and she rolled her eyes as she downed the rest of her beer and walked across the table to break..

Natalie leaned over the table and lined up the cue ball, in all reality it had been quite awhile since she had played, years ot be exact but back in the day when she use to play well she was damn good, hell she had won so much money back in AC hustling when her mother had been spending all of their money on alcohol, she pulled back the pool stick and then struck, sending the balls flying, a solid and a stripped each flew into adjacent pockets, yet again collective Oh's and Ah's were heard.."solids" she smiled as she fluttered her eye lashes dramatically and made her way around the table as everyone watched.

Twenty minutes into the game the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife, they each were down to one ball, the eight ball still on the table, it was Steven's turn and he was literally sweating bullets as he contemplated his shot, his friends now taunting him as Cris stood next to natalie..

"you totally have this Nat" he said reassuringly in her ear but she didnt feel so confident anymore, she definitely didnt want to go to work a loser tomorrow, Stevens would never let her live it down especially since she came just to kick his ass and put him in his place...

He leaned into his shot, his hands literally shaking as everyone began chanting, he blinked his eyes and hit the cue ball it sent his remaining ball flying into the pocket, even natalie had to admit to herself that it was a nice shot, impressive really, he began to grin even bigger, apparently his confidence sky rocketing now as he lined up the 8 ball, Natalie felt her confidence crash into pieces, it was an easy shot, a no brainer, Cris squeezed her arm assuringly..

"You uh ready to claim me as your King" Stevens smirked as he looked at her and she shook her head at him..

"Just make the damn shot Stevens" she said sarcastically, he held his pool stick with a shaky hand..

"8 ball corner pocket" he said outloud and just as he hit the ball someone knocked into him, he immediately scratched as he spun around.."Hey" he snapped loudly as everyone began chanting that he had lost, it took Natalie a second to realize what had happened..

"My bad" the guy who had kncoked into him said and something about his voice made Natalie look up and her eyes got wide, it was him, Mr. Cocky son of a bitch himself, he was at Rodi's.

"Your bad i was in the middle of a fucking game" Stevens said angrily as he stood up to McBain..

One of his buddies grabbed his arm.."not worth it man" his friend said to him..

"You knnow dont be mad at me if your not going to play the game right" Mcbain said with a grin..

"oh crap this isnt good, what the hell is he doing here" Cris said to natalie who just looked on shocked.. Exactlly what was he doing there?

"You gotta problem buddy" Stevens looked McBain up and down..

"come on lets just go, seriously" one of Stevens friends said as he grabbed his arm..

"wait i know you, your that guy, the one from the other night" Stevens said as recognition hit him.."Your that fucking freak with the club"

"a freak huh?" McBain looked at him amusingly but natalie saw the threat behind his eyes, damn it this wasnt good, people began to form around them.."i think you should choose your next words wisely" he said in a low threatening tone..

"or what huh, im not one of your little bitches" Stevens said as he eyeballed him.."i think he wants to chain me up and whip me, fucking freak" Stevens began to laugh but McBain kept his composure as some of the other officers began to laugh..

Mcbain removed his coat and placed it on a chair.."its not what your mom was telling me last night" he grinned..

Stevens eyes got wide.."what? Dont talk about my mom" he yelled irately, the scene quickly turned chaotic as everyone began Oh-ing and Ah-ing again, Stevens looked around quick and the out of no where he threw his fist at Mcbain but he was too fast for him and he caught it in midair, slowly he shook his head from side to side...

"alright enough" Natalie finally yelled shocking them all as they looked at her, McBain moved back from Stevens.."You dont want to do this ok" Natalie said warningly to Stevens..

"You know what, your right, he aint worth it, fucking freak" Stevens said with a glare at McBain and then his friends walked him out, McBain raised his eyebrow at natalie and she looked at Cris who was still looking shocked..

"give me a minute" she said without another look at Cris, McBain began to walk away as she walked up to him.."what are you doing here, following me?" she snapped angrily..

"following you Officer? Last time i checked this is a public place" he said as he walked over to the bar and ordered a drink..

"yeah well something tells me your not a bar kind of guy" she said dryly, she was completely annoyed as he nonchalantly began sipping his drink as he looked at her.."oh by the way nice game, where did you learn to play, AC?" he smirked..

"oh so you think you have an advantage over me cause you read my background, well just so you know im not impressed" she said sarcastically..

"mad that you couldnt find out anything about me?" he smirked and she felt her blood boil..He was messing with her..

"You know i have come to realize over the years that people that hide their past do it for a reason, so what exactlly are you hiding Mr. McBain" she raised an eyebrow at him..

"I dont know what you mean, im an open book" he grinned as he continued to sip his drink..

"yeah ok" she let out a sarcastic laugh.."Now tell me why are you here" she said seriously now..

"I hate to break it to you Officer but i dont have to answer to you and it was a free country last time i checked" he walked away from her and she huffed..

"You said you never go back on your word" she called out as he stopped and then slowly spun around and looked at her..

"Just because i dont do something as quick as you like doesnt mean i have gone back on my word, remember patience?" he grinned..

"Oh cut the bullshit Mr. McBain" she snapped angrily..

"You know your pretty hot when your mad officer and you definitely know how to wear a pair of jeans" he openly looked at her and she flushed from ear to ear, she was speechless as she stood there, her mouth agape at his forwardness..He walked back over to the pool table now as Cris walked over to her..

"Nat i think we should just go" he said to her as it snapped her out of her shocked state...

"Im fine, excuse me i need to take care of something" she walked past Cris and directly towards Mr. Smartass.."You know it is illegal to sexually harass an officer of the law" she said with a smug grin as she walked up to him, he turned and smiled at her..

"Too bad you dont have those cuffs on you" he glanced over her body again.."it is quite the accessory"

"I see what your trying to do here, its not working" she said with annoyance..

"Im just having a conversation, you do have a dirty mind, dont you" he grinned as he sipped his drink and leaned against the pool table, she couldnt help but notice how freaking attractive he looked, even if he was being a cocky son of a bitch. He was dressed in a simple black button down shirt and jeans, his hair was down this time and parted in the middle, damn it he did look good!

"Your unbelievable, good night Mr. McBain" she said through gritted teeth as she spun around and began walking away..

"Tess talked about you" he called out as she stopped and slowly turned to face him.."she said you had told her that you wished she would go away for good" he raised his eyebrow at her and she went to walk over to him, she was pissed, Cris grabbed her arm as McBain smiled some..

"Natalie dont ok, he is just trying to get you riled up" Cris said with concern.."he is not worth it, this is not worth it"

"go home Cris this has nothing to do with you" she snapped at him as she yanked her arm back and she stormed over to McBain.."stop playing games with me and tell me what you know" she said angrily as she stood in front of him..

"Ok but first admit that you need me" he sipped his drink as he looked at her..

"what? No!" she snapped..

"ok then i guess you dont really want to know" he shrugged his shoulders and turned from her..

"Tell me" she snapped again and he slowly turned back around..

"No" he said calmly..

"You think your really smooth dont you" she said with a shake of her head, she couldnt believe this..

"ive been called alot of things, smooth isnt one of them" he looked at her seriously.."do you want my help or not Officer"

"You know what how is this for help, go to hell Mr. Mcbain" she snapped and then she stormed out as he stood there, Cris ran after her as she got outside..

"Natalie wait, hold up" he said as she stormed off to her car, she was beyond pissed, the one person who actually knew Tess and knew what she was about was playing games with her, she wanted to hit that smug grin off of his face.."nat!" Cris said again as he ran up to her..

"Im going home Cris" she said as she opened her car door, she didnt want to talk to anyone..

"he is just trying to mess with your mind" he said softly as she looked at him..

"im done talking about this, goodnight cris" she said as she hopped in her car and sped off as he watched from the parking lot..

Walking into her apartment the sound of a text message rattled her, yes she knew who it was before she even looked, it was him..

**You do need me Officer, whether you like it or not**

She launched her phone onto the nearby couch and let out an exasperated huff, she was over his games, she stormed into her bedroom and was immediately faced with those files again, she had an overwhelming desire to cry or scream but instead she fell to the bed not wanting to feel a damn thing.

_"Let her go, you cant keep her prisoner!" Natalie yelled as she stood in her parents foyer of Lanfair, Tess was fixing her hair in the large mirror.."Jessica please, fight this, fight her!" she begged as Tess laughed and rolled her eyes.._

"god Natalie when will you learn, she isnt coming back!" Tess snapped at her angrily.."she doesnt want to come back, im in control and thats the way it will stay!" she yelled..

"No, you bitch let her go!" she yelled angrily as she yanked her from the mirror, she was so mad, she wanted her sister back not this imposter who was ruining everything Jessica had worked for.."Cant you see that no one wants you, your nothing, your nobody!" Natalie yelled at her bitterly...A flash of something washed over Tess's face, it almost looked like sadness but it was quickly replaced with a wicked smile as she yanked her arm back..

"I saved her, she owes me!" she yelled at natalie..."Out of my way before i force you" she said with gritted teeth..

Natalie awoke with a jump, she was sweating profusley and sitting up now, the trace of tears on her face, she had failed her sister, she couldnt save her and somehow Tess had thought she did, the overwhelming guilt was enormous..

No one really knew how long Tess had been in control, the Buchanan's had many skeletons in their closet and the realization that Jessica had a split personality was appalling to say the least, at first there was speculation that she was doing drugs and then something much darker, what had forced her to snap, what had she been holding on to, hiding?

Her parents tried to go on as if nothing had changed, they had done it for awhile and when it became so apparent that something was wrong that jessica wasnt quite herself was when it really got strange, suddenly everything got quiet, no one spoke of it, the family name was at risk.

Her uncle clint had hired a psychiatrist, one that would keep a low profile, Jessicas behaviour had begun to spread through the news, her antics were putting the family in jeopardy. Drunken brawls at bars, stealing and at times she would just take off for days at a time and not tell anyone a thing, it was sad to admit that once her body was found the family actually had a sigh of relief, the craziness was over and Jessica could finally rest in piece, but could she? Could Natalie? Jessica split for a reason, one that no one in the family wanted to talk about but Natalie was going to find out what happened, she had to, it was the only way to make the nightmares stop.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Natalie sat in her office staring at the blank computer screen, she was nervous and anxious. The epiphany she had this morning had lead her to make a phone call, one that she hadnt wanted to make but one that she knew she would have to deal with eventually.

She was waiting for a man by the name of Nash Brennan, he had hooked up with Tess and eventually was cleared of any wrong doing in the case. No one knew anything about Nash except he came from a wealthy family from New York and was basically nothing but a spoiled brat who some how got caught up in Tess's crazy life..

Natalie had met him once and she hadnt liked him, how could she, he was in love with tess, he liked that she exsisted even though natalie had screamed at him about how he was making the problem worse, he was playing with a mentally ill womans mind, that Tess was a nobody that had to be stopped. Of course he would of been suspect number one in the case but his whereabouts that day had all come together in one neat pretty package, he had been states away when the murder took place and his grief was apparent even though no one gave a shit.

Natalie hadnt wanted to say anything to him since his Alibi had been cleared but last night, her dreams made her feel otherwise, to find Jessica's killer she would have to get to know the one person she honestly didnt give two shits about, Tess and the place to start would be her boyfriend..

Granted natalie knew that the case had run cold and she was to absolutely have nothing to do with it per her Uncle Bo's orders but it was becoming more and more haunting, especially after another murder that seemed so similar to Jessica's.

The sound of a knock on her door made her look up.."come in" she called out and the door opened revealing a tall, dirty blonde haired man dressed in a tshirt and jeans, his hair looked unwashed and greesy, the lines on his face more apparent and darker, this was Nash Brennan.

The sight of him almost made natalie do a double take, he looked for a lack of a better word like shit, she stood quickly as he pushed a strange of his hair out of his eyes..

"Mr. Brennan, im glad you came" she said as she walked around her desk and put her hand out to him, he looked nervous and anxious as he stood there and then slowly shook her hand..

"Please call me Nash, ok Natalie" his voice sounded tired as he shook her hand, now this definitely wasnt what she had been expecting to see, he looked like a broken man..

"Ok Nash, please have a seat, can i get you a drink" she waved to a chair in front of her desk and he nodded his head no as she quickly walked back around her desk and sat back down..

The silence was deafening for a few seconds as neither of them said anything but then he spoke.."Im a little surprised that you called, does this mean the case is reopening?" he had a glimmer of hope in his sad dark eyes..She had to remind herself to stay nuetral cause ultimately that was what had gotten her kicked off the case to begin with, her emotions had gotten in the way.

"Yes" she lied as his eyes got a bit wide..

"Your running the case, i find that hard to believe" he looked at her puzzled, it wasnt lost on him that she absolutely hated Tess and him for that matter..

"there was another murder" she tried to stay with the facts, suddenly she felt nervous as if someone would notice who she had in her office, she should of asked him to meet her somewhere more discreet., but she would deal with the consequences of that she didnt trust her emotions outside of the office, here she was forced to be a cop and she was desperately trying to look at this with unbiased eyes..

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.."i have already told the police where i was that night and as far as this other murder" he began almost nervously..

"Im not asking for an alibi" she said quickly, she could see he wanted to run..His name wasnt even mentioned in this new case.."I have a few questions regarding Jessica" she began as he stared at her.."i mean Tess" she corrected herself as she mentally chanted to keep herself professional, she had to stay professional..

He leaned back in the chair some, running his hand through his long untamed hair as he looked at her.."do i need a lawyer" he asked dryly..

"No Nash, I just want to know a few things" she said with a nervous smile..

"i think i will take that drink now" he said quietly and she stood nodding her head as she fetched him some water.. Once back in the room she noticed he was holding a picture in his hand, one from Natalie's desk, one of all the Buchanan's, including Jessica, he spoke without looking at her.."she didnt deserve what happened to her" he said low as she came back around towards him, putting the drink in front of him as he looked at her.."she was a good person, Tess was a good person" he said low as he put the picture down and picked up the cup of water, sipping from it..

Natalie tried to keep her focus, she could do this..She quickly sat back down.."I want to know about Tess, how you met her, i want to know the person she was" she stared at him and he looked a bit puzzled..

"this doesnt sound like a officer investigating a case" he said as he cocked his head..

"this is a sister trying to find out what happened to her sister" she said honestly, he seemed to relax some as he sat there..

"i was staying at the Marriot Hotel in New York City, it was hot out, mid summer, i wasnt expecting to run into her, or her me" a smile crossed his lips as he reminised, natalie sat patiently listening..

Natalie sat watching him, she jotted down notes as he spoke, he looked genuinely happy as he spoke of this woman, the one that Natalie had never got to meet, well atleast not really and at times she forgot who they were talking about, he was basically telling of a love story between him and Tess, it was apparent that he loved her deeply, Natalie felt a tug in the pit of her stomach, Tess had feelings, like real feelings..

He went on to tell of their wild adventures together of how they grew closer, his eyes lit up as he spoke of her and the lines on his face softened, she had never seen this side of Nash or heard of this side of Tess, guilt coursed through her, she had never even gave Tess a chance..

They had talked about marriage, about children, for all intensive purposes it was like a real relationship,. It was shocking to say the least..

"she had so much to live for, so much potential" he said as his voice cracked.."she just wanted to be accepted" he cast his eyes down.."i would of given her anything but she didnt feel like she was worthy" he said low..

"Is that when she broke things off with you" Natalie felt her voice cracking as he looked up at her, his eyes darker now..

"i was only one person Natalie, no one gave her a chance, everyone she knew wished she didnt exsist" his voice began to get louder.."You and your self rigeous family pushed her down that path" the bitterness was heavy in his voice, laden with overwhelming sadness.."I couldnt even stop it and not once did anyone of you try and help her" he yelled now..

Natalie jumped at his anger, he was mad, distraught, it touched her more then she would of cared to admit.."why are you really doing this" he demanded an answer from her.."she just wanted to be accepted and loved!" he stood now and leaned over her desk with his hands..

Before she could answer him her office door swung open and she looked at her Uncles wide eyes, Nash looked at him, his anger apparent.."were done here" Nash said as he spun from her and she stood now..

"nash please wait" she called out even though her uncle was looking at her with such shock that she knew this wouldnt be good..He kept walking without looking back, she now looked at her Uncle..

"what the hell is going on Natalie, why is he here" her uncle said with anger and Natalie shook her head, her eyes casted down, here it comes...

Standing in her Uncles office now being chastised like a child she couldnt even find the right words to say, her uncle was pissed and disappointed that much was apparent..

"are you trying to have this office sued?" he yelled at her as she stood there feeling like a small child.."do you have any idea what ramifications this has!"

"Im trying to find answers" she finally yelled, surprising her uncle and herself as well, she was more then aware that the rest of the station could hear them behind the thin glass of his office..

"this is not your battle Natalie" he barked at her..

"apparently it is no ones" she spat out bitterly, she didnt know where her anger was coming from, just last night she was so angry at tess for what she had done and now, well now she felt something, empathy for her, it was shocking even for her.."what is the point of me being a cop if i cant even do my job" her voice was softer now..

"digging into the past wont bring her back natalie" his voice was lower now.."Jessica has been gone for a long time, its time to let go" he said softly..

"let go? She was murdered" she snapped at him as his eyes got wide..

"i wont tell you again to drop it natalie, if i have to i will...i will suspend you" he said angrily and her eyes got wide as she looked at him, what the hell was he hiding, something was going on, he knew something. She was shocked by his words, by his anger, he walked around his desk and over to her.."it is over, do you hear me, dont drag this family through the mud again" there was something in his voice, it sounded oddly like fear but fear of what, she chose her next words wisely, she knew she had to..

"Im sorry" she said low, hoping that he would buy it and when she felt him hug her she knew that it had worked..

"we all miss her natalie" he said against her as he hugged her.."lets take comfort that she is in a better place now ok" she nodded yes against him..

Natalie sat in her office contemplating her next move, she couldnt afford to get sloppy like she had with nash, her Uncle was already watching her with a close eye now even though she tried to assure him as best she could that she would leave the case alone but the overwhelming feeling of dread kept washing over her, she was definitely missing something here, something her family was hiding and she knew that as soon as she figured out what it was then maybe she could find the person who had murdered her sister but it also brought her back to the one man she didnt want to have to deal with, she stared intently at his card, god how she wanted to go another route then have to deal with him, but he knew Tess maybe better then anyone had, he had spent time with her, even though the idea of the time they had spent together made her stomach feel ill..

She stared some more at the business card and then with a deep breath she dialed the phone, this was the only way like it or not, it rang a few times before anyone answered and when he did he sounded out of breath..

"I was wondering if you were going to call" he spoke smoothly even though he sounded out of breath, she tried not to think about what she could of possibly interupted..

"I think that we got off on the wrong foot" she bit her tongue and she could almost swear she could feel his smug grin through the phone..

"did you do any research?" he asked as if he knew she hadnt, she held back a sigh, before she could speak he did.."You know officer if you were really interested in finding out about her" he began..

She cut him off.."I am ok but i have been busy" she tried to keep her tone even..

"Oh, Nash wasnt very forth coming was he?" his words surprised her, how the hell did he know, she literally held the phone to her mouth in shock, not knowing what to say.."by your lack of snarky come back i would say your a bit surprised?"

She bit her tongue, she had no idea how he knew, or what his relationship with Nash was.."he didnt mention that he knew you" she bit her tongue again..

"and he wouldnt" he said matter of factly.."remember confidentiality?" she didnt say anything.."But anywho i guess we have some things to discuss, how about i pick you up around say 8, you should be home by then, correct?" something told her that he knew exactlly where she lived, this was seeming more and more like a bad idea, it just screamed psycho stalker but she needed him, damn it she hated to admit it but she needed him..

"i suppose you dont need the address" she try to hold back her sarcasm..

"you learn fast, i like that" his words had a husky undertone, it made her think he was referring to something else, she fidgeted in her seat.."see you then natalie" he finished as he hung up and she sat there staring at her phone, he wasnt about to make this easy on her that much she did know, the sound of knocking on her door made her jump as Cris peeked his head inside..She quickly put her phone down..

"is it a bad time?" he asked cautiously, of course he had heard her getting yelled at by her uncle...

"what is it Cris" she could tell if she didnt get this conversation over and done with now then he would hound her until she did..

"I just um" he closed her office door and walked over to the empty chair and sat down.."I heard what happened earlier"

"im sure everyone heard, seriously Cris if your here to say i told you so then you can just drop it" she said dryly as she tried to act as if she was focusing on files in front of her..

"Im not here to say that natalie, i want to help" he said genuinely and she looked up at him now, she had a look of disbelief on her face.."im serious let me help" he said again..

She quickly looked away and back at her desk.."i dont need help cause im not looking into it anymore" she lied as she thumbed through files..

"Really?" he raised an eyebrow as if he didnt believe a word she said, she looked at him..

Shrugging her shoulders she said.."im dropping it, i promised my uncle i would"

Cris leaned his elbows on her desk as he looked at her, studying her face, she quickly looked away under his suspicious gaze.."yeah and when has that ever stopped you before?"

"Im not going to risk my job cris" she said defensively..

"were partners, right?" he asked as he stared at her..

"yeah and? Listen Cris im really busy" she just wanted him to leave now..

"then let me help you ok, i dont want to see you get hurt, this is alot for one person to take on" he said in a serious low voice as she looked at him again.."You dont have to do this alone"

"I dont know what your talking about, i told you i am dropping it" she said again..

"and your a horrible liar, always have been" he kept his stare..

"Listen hypothetically speaking even if i was going to investigate this case behind my uncles back having two of us researching things will only complicate this, hypothetically speaking of course" she said seriously as she looked at him..

"Hypothetically speaking all you would have to do is keep me updated on where your at incase hypothetically speaking something went wrong and i could get to you in time" he stared at her..

"hypothetically you cant be hiding behind bushes and making a scene" she said with a raised eyebrow, in all honesty the thought that someone out there knew what she was doing made her feel a little bit better, not so vulnerable and well...alone..

"I can have the IT guy put a tracking device in your phone that way if something were to happen then you could be located" he almost whispered, she pondered this for a moment, it wasnt a bad idea, not a bad idea at all.."Hypothetically speaking of course" he smiled some and she sat there for a minute and then handed him over her phone, its better to be safe then sorry, right?

Cris had brought back her phone as planned, she was actually feeling grateful for his help, oddly enough he hadnt let her down yet she just hoped that wouldnt change. She left work a little early and headed home and quickly got changed, she couldnt believe how nervous she felt to see mcbain again, she had to keep telling herself that she was doing this for Jessica and well oddly enough for Tess as well.

She sat nervously on her couch staring at her hands, the sound of a knock on her door sent a shiver down her spine, he was there and right on time not a second late, what a damn control freak, she took a deep breath and answered the door, he was standing with his back facing her and his arms crossed over his chest, she couldnt help but notice that he looked pretty damn good from behind, she immediately shaked the thought from her head, this guy was a damn freak, hot but a freak no less.

He slowly turned to face her, a small grin on his face as he looked at her, it made her swallow hard as he took the sight of her in.. "You know you definitely clean up well Officer" he had the most seductive tone she had ever heard, man he took this lifestyle way too seriously!.."did you eat yet?" he asked..

"Yep" she lied..

"Oh really what did you have?" she couldnt believe he was talking to her about damn food..

"Burger and fries" she lied again and his face hardened..

"anyone ever tell you that your a horrible liar officer" he raised an eyebrow, his face serious.. Her mind flashed to Cris's same exact words and she sighed..

"im not hungry ok" she said quickly as she moved her hands to her hips..

"I am" he turned from her as she stood at the door, she couldnt believe this, here they go again, was he for real?

"Listen i dont want to have a repeat of last time" she called from the door as he continued walking, ignorning her, she let out a loud huff, he was impossible! She grabbed her purse and jetted out of the apartment, he was already at his car, holding the passenger door open for her..."I dont know what the deal is with you and food" she said sarcastically..

"you should of just ate" he shrugged his shoulders..

"so you wont even talk to me unless i eat now" she said with a roll of her eyes..

"your rudeness has no limits does it" he said with a shake of his head.."Most women would be delighted to have a nice dinner" he kept his face straight as she looked at him..

"well im not like other woman that your use to Mr. McBain" she said with a sarcastic smile..

"i think our relationship has passed the formal stage wouldnt you say, please call me John" he said with that same straight laced look..She fought the urge to roll her eyes, relationship? What relationship?.."Now where to eat?"

"Im not hungry" she crossed her arms over her chest..

"get in the car natalie" he said in that dictator tone that pissed her off so much, she bit her tongue.. "you came to me, remember?" he said dryly..

"fine...fine have it your way" she huffed as she got into the car and he closed the door and nonchalantly made his way to the drivers side, he got in and started the car.."you know just because you live a certain lifestyle doesnt mean you get to control everything and everyone around you" she said sarcastically..

"actually i can and i do" he looked at her and then leaned over to her, her eyes got wide as his face came so close to hers, hell her heart began to race, was he going to kiss her, No, he wouldnt, would he? She could smell his colonge, damn he smelt good, his eyes stared into hers and she literally couldnt breath and then she heard a click and she finally realized what he was doing, he was seatbelting her in, holy hell she thought she was going to die.."wouldnt want you to get hurt now would i?" he smirked that confident smile that made her feel like a complete idiot, oh he was good, real good!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Again neither of them spoke as he drove but she was surprised to see where he was pulling up, it was Rodi's, she felt a bit shocked and well nervous as she looked at him. This is where half the station hung out, if anyone saw her with him, oh god they wouldnt let her live it down..

"Rodi's?" she said as she swallowed hard and he glanced at her..

"You seem surprised?" he stopped the car as he parked..

"well uh yeah, a little, what happened to The Palace" she didnt know if she could do this, if she could go inside..

"Im a man of rare tastes" a glimmer of a smirk hit his lips as he got out and she had to mentally tell herself to breath, holy hell they were at Rodis! She went to open her door but he had done it for her as she stepped out, she looked around nervously, thankfully as of right now she didnt recognize any of the cars and it was midweek maybe she wouldnt see anyone at all.."embarassed to be seen with me?" he raised an eyebrow..

"Oh please dont be silly" she tried to brush it off as she looked around again.."why Rodi's" she couldnt help but ask..

"Neutral ground" he smirked as he looked back at Rodi's.."shall we?" he looked at her and then surprisingly reached out and grabbed her hand, walking with her, she honestly didnt know what to do or say, he was holding her hand as they walked and he was walking fast, she had to walk really fast to keep up..

She was completely and totally nervous as they walked into Rodi's, his hand clutched around hers, she tried to ignore it and the jolt of electricity running through her body, what the hell was wrong with her, this guy was a nut job, god how she hated her traitorous body, he moved them towards the bar and she immediately saw the owner and bartender Mac give her a smirk, oh god just kill me now..

He ordered some drinks but she couldnt even hear what he had said, all she knew was that Mac's eyes were on her and she flushed a million shades of red..Thankfully besides Mac's knowing stare it seemed as though no one was really at the bar and then he let go of her hand and for a second she was relieved yet her hand still tingled from his touch..

"Nice place" he finally said with a wicked grin as he handed her a drink, all she could do was sip it greedily, she definitely needed this drink, most definitely..."we should probably sit, we have alot to discuss" his tone changed almost immediately and he spun from her, heading to a table as she watched wondering what the hell she was about to get herself into..

He moved to a table and sat down as she did the same, she felt paranoid as she sat there looking around.. "You know you worry too much about what people think" he spoke, snapping her out of her thoughts as she looked at him.."thats the difference between you and Tess, she didnt care what people thought of her" she looked at him a bit shocked, she was assuming they would banter back and forth before he even mentioned her name but he was talking now about Tess, weird, this guy was very weird..

"tess didnt care about alot of things" she couldnt help the bitterness in her voice..

"I guess that depends on how you look at things" he said as he sipped his drink.."some people arent as fortunate as you were Officer, some people have to work to get where they are" he said dryly as he put his cup down..

"what? What does that mean" she said defensively, he was making her mad again and for some reason she felt like he was doing it on purpose, it pissed her off.. "I will let you know Mr." she began as he stared at her blankly.." John..I have worked very hard to get where i am, my namesake is just that"

"why so defensive then, so your uncle is the police commissioner, im sure that had nothing to do with you getting in the police department" he continued to drink..There was heavy sarcasm in his voice..

"Are you trying to piss me off" she said through gritted teeth..

"Piss you off Natalie? Last time i checked it wasnt a secret that your family ran this town" he said dryly.."why become a cop?" he spoke before she could say anything..

"Listen i didnt come here to talk about me or my family, you said you had information about Tess" she said a bit rudely..

"i thought she was your family" he raised an eybrow.."why did you become a cop" he asked again as he looked at her, she hated feeling like she was being interogated..

"why did you become whatever it is that you are" she snapped back rudely, two could play at this game..She would put him on the hot seat and see how he liked it..

"Its who I am, im an enterpentuer and i just happen to be very good at my job" he smiled wickedly.."your uncomfortable with who you are"

"No im not" she snapped quickly.."if your an enterpentuer why not open a pet store or something, why some sex club" she said sarcastically, she wasnt going to let him get the upper hand but oddly enough he looked unaffected by her questioning which pissed her off..

"a sex club? Now that is an interesting idea but im sorry to break it to you Natalie but i do not run a sex club" he said with a smirk.."You still havent done your homework" he said in almost a disappointed tone, god that irritated her..

"Listen i know what you do" she said as her heart began to race..He just looked at her, not saying anything..She rolled her eyes.."You run a S&M club" she said with a sarcastic smile..

"and that makes you uncomfortable" he cocked his head to the side..

"it makes alot of people uncomfortable" she said quickly, he was trying to rattle her, she wasnt going to let him..

"and why do you think that is? All i offer is a way to express yourself without being judged, do you think i forced my customers to show up, they come cause they want to be there" he kept his voice even..

"fine, its a lifestyle choice... why do you feel the need to keep shoving it down my throat" she said quickly and he smiled big, she immediately regretted the choice of words, she began to flush sure he was going to make her want to eat her words..

Surprisingly he didnt comment the way she thought.."i never tried to force any belief onto you natalie, you came to me asking for help"

"which reminds me you havent kept up your end of the bargain" she said sarcastically..

"Im here aint i, i mean in all honesty Natalie i didnt have to offer any help at all" he said dryly as he sipped his drink again.."Im going to ask you again, why did you become a cop" his voice was serious and she rolled her eyes..

"cause i wanted to help people, people who otherwise couldnt help themselves, happy?" she said sarcastically..

"was that so hard? " he blinked at her dryly.."so we arent so different"

"I hate to break it to you but we are very different" she said with a shake of her head..

"and how is that, you offer people peace of mind, somewhere to run to when they feel unsafe, i offer the same thing just in a more elaborate way" he smiled a little..

"thats fine if you want to believe that some how our job descriptions are the same then so be it" she said with an exhausted sigh..

"You havent eaten today have you" he said quickly and she let out a sarcastic laugh..

"what is it with you and food" she said sarcastically just as Mac came over with a tray of burgers and fries..

"it looks great Mac" he smiled big as mac put the food on the table and grinned at natalie, almost comical the way he looked at her as if he was getting a kick out of watching them two banter back and forth..

"enjoy your food" Mac said and then walked away as Natalie looked at the burger and fries in front of her..

"You know some people aren't as lucky to have something to eat, you should know that Natalie, you had a rough upbrining in AC" he said as he took a bite of his burger, she contemplated saying something but instead she took a big bite of the burger and rolled her eyes at him..

They ate in relative silence, she had been starving and once their burgers were done he spoke.."so tell me what you want to know about Tess" she almost felt like he was trying to mess with her again but she ignored it..

"how did she end up at your place and how do you know Nash" she said quickly..

"i was at a local bar, she was drinking, talking about fighting with her family, i gave her a shoulder to lean on" he said nonchalantly..

"sure you did" she said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes..

"You know since you know everything natalie, why dont you tell me how it all happened" he said with a serious and yet annoyed tone as he looked at her.."or you could let me finish" She didnt say anything, she suddenly felt like a scolded child, she just sat there.."Like i was saying i met her at a bar, she was upset and i listened to her, she was going on about a sister screaming at her" he raised an eyebrow and Natalie shifted uncomfortably in her seat.."she was drunk and being very loud so i brought her home"

Natalie's eyes got wide as she looked at him, suddenly she felt mad.."You took advantage of her?" her voice was higher then she liked as she blinked in shock..

"do you always jump to conclusions Natalie" he said dryly..She bit her tongue getting increasingly annoyed.."like i said i brought her home, it would of been unsafe and irresponsible for me to leave her there in that condition, i mean unless you feel that she didnt deserve anyone to help her?" he raised an eyebrow at her...

"Listen i will be honest with you" she began.

He cut her off.."I thought we were already being honest"

"its just a saying, god!" she huffed..

"well why would you say that, i mean if your not going to be honest all the time with me" he stared at her seriously..

"fine ok im being honest all the time" she snapped.."Jessica was my sister and when Tess came out it wasnt very welcoming" she began as he looked at her..

"I would say that is an understatement" he sipped his drink..

"do you have any siblings" she said quickly and now for the first time he looked a bit uncomfortable..

"I have a brother" he said through tight lips as if he didnt like her probing, well too bad she thought, he was about to get a taste of his own medicine..She wondered if his brother was like him, if his behaviour ran in the family..

"what if one day your brother disappeared and in his place was some guy who looked like him but behaved completely irratically?, would you be so welcoming?" she asked as he put down his glass..

"everyone has a dark side Natalie even you, just because your sister chose to let her dark side take over doesnt make her any different then you and I" he looked annoyed..

"so you would be totally fine with your brother acting out, you wouldnt try and stop him" she said a bit loud.."I mean do you even talk to your family" she snapped..

"Since you know everything Natalie why dont you tell me" he said through gritted teeth..

"fine i will, i bet you dont talk to him or anyone in your family, i bet you have completely disassociated yourself with anyone in your life who meant something to you maybe because your scared of rejection, maybe because your scared of being judged" she said bitterly..

His face was straight but there was an underlying tone of anger building in him, she saw it as his eyes grew darker..She decided to push the envelope, turn the tables on him, hell she had taken a psychology class in college she knew how this worked.."do you invite your parents to your place of business to come hang out" she said dryly.."Or maybe have your brother come by and kick back as you whip some confused little girl, i mean hell maybe you buy them all a pair of hand cuffs over the holidays" she said sarcastically and now he stood abruptly as his hand slammed on the table, rattling the glasses and dishes..

"enough!" he barked at her..."just because you have guilt for the way you treated your sister and now your trying to somehow make yourself feel better by putting the blame on someone else because you certainly couldnt be held responsibile for the way she lashed out, of course not cause you live in your perfect little world, selfishly not really giving a shit about anyone but yourself" he snapped.."I helped Tess when no one else would, i gave a her a safe place to go when your family that you hold onto so dear left her to suffer alone, you all did this to her, you all allowed this to happen by keeping skeletons in your closet, what i dont understand is why you didnt crack as well, i mean hell it had to be a real eye opener to come home at the age of 16 and find your own mother dead in the apartment!" he yelled and natalie blinked at him with shock, she couldnt believe he had gone there.."I think this conversation is over, you dont want to really know what happened to your so called sister , you just want to find someone else to put the blame on so you can sleep at night" he walked from the table as she stood there, completely and utterly in shock..

It took her a minute to get up and register what he had said, she saw him walk out the door and she quickly went after him..He was walking to his car..

"Excuse me!" she yelled as he walked and ignored her.."My sister had a good life, she had hopes and dreams" she yelled as she ran up to him and he finally spun around, he looked pissed..

"a good life? Your sister was abused and molested for many years your just too closed minded to see that, your so called new found family did this to her, you did it as well, how dare you try and be all self rigeous when you did nothing to help her! Hell when she died no one did anything to find out why because no one cared, not even your uncle the police commissioner, you are all so busy trying to protect your family name that you cant even see the big picture" he yelled at her..

"You are out of your mind, Jess wasnt abused" she yelled defensively even though in the pit of her stomach she felt ill as if something wasnt right..

"You dont deserve to know who Tess was, she was a stronger person then you will ever be" he snapped and then spun for his car door..

"Oh thats just great so you are going to walk away again" she said sarcastically..

"have a nice life Natalie" he said angrily as he got in his car and quickly revved the engine as she stood in front of the car and then he was pulling off as she stood there, now even more confused then before..

Natalie made her way back to her apartment after walking a mile and a half, she was annoyed, exhausted and well confused by what John had said, she immediately went to her bedroom and began going through the files on her bed, the ones about Tess's murder, she couldnt shake the sick feeling in her stomach, why would he say she was abused and molested, was he just trying to make her doubt everything? And then he had the nerve to bring up about her own mother, well Roxy had been her mother for all instensive purposes up until the day she found out she was indeed a Buchanan, the same day that she had found Roxy's body..

Roxy wasnt the kind of mother that anyone would brag about, she didnt go to PTA meetings, hell she barely made it home in time to make dinner most nights but she had raised Natalie and Rex the best she could..

_It was a cold winter day in AC when Natalie had come home from her shift at a local diner, she had been working there after school for the last year or so, thankfully her looks had people believing she was older then she was and to be honest someone had to pay the bills, Roxy was never reliable when it came to that._

Natalie was exhausted and dreading the homework she had piled up to do, Rex was sitting on the couch watching the small television with the fuzzy screen, she huffed as soon as she saw him..

"I hope you got your homework done" she said as he looked at her and rolled his eyes and then quickly looked back at the television, she began to pick up his socks and shoes.."You know it wouldnt kill you to pick up after yourself" she snapped at him, she hated being in this position, she was essentially like his mother..

"You bring anything home to eat" he kept watching the tv..

"Its on the table" she sighed.."seriously Rex ive told you a million times to not leave your shit laying around" she huffed..He ignored her as he scurried off to the kitchen and she brought his shoes to his room, dropping them at his door, thats when she noticed that Roxy's door was open, it was never open.."Rex were you in Roxy's room, you know she is gonna be pissed" she yelled as she walked over to the door and went to close it but something caught her attention, it was a foot on the opposite side of the door, her heart began to race as she pushed the door some more and then her eyes got wide as she saw Roxy on the ground..

She was dressed from the night before, her arms sprawled out on the floor as well as her legs..It took her a second to really understand what she was seeing and then she ran to her.."Roxy..Roxy" she went to shake her but she jumped back when she felt the cold hard body, she fell onto her butt as she looked at her mother on the ground, she was dead, Roxy was dead..

The sound of her phone ringing made her jump with a stir in her bed as she quickly looked around and grabbed it..

"Buchanan" she said as her heart raced..

"Jesus Natalie i have been calling for an hour now" Cris said with worry in his voice.."why didnt you answer, what happened when you saw him, did you find out anything" he had a ton of questions and she sighed heavily..

"Ive been busy, i know i agreed to work with you on this Cris but seriously you need to chill" she began..

"chill? I was worried, you know nothing about this guy and he runs a damn dungeon" he said with concern..

"well im fine ok and he is a lost cause im done with trying to get information from him" she said as she stood now and stared at the files on her bed..

"that bad huh" he said low.."Listen i did some research of my own" he began and she sighed.. "dont judge just yet, i met someone who has information" he began and she perked up some..

"who?" she asked impatiently..

"He goes by the screen name Deciteful Ways" he began as she laughed..

"Okay and exactlly where did you meet this person" she shook her head..

"well that club it has a message board and well i kind of messaged someone" he said a bit nervously..

"what? Your joking right, a message board" she said sarcastically, of course he would have a message board, this was getting better and better..

"I know weird right" Cris began.."anyways this guy knew tess" his words made her perk up as she look at her bed.."i kind of , sort of gave off the impression that i was a chick" Cris said with embarassment and natalie laughed now.."I know i know i was just trying to help but i got some information from him"

"what kind of information" she began to pace her room...

"well he had been involved with her, i mean technically he didnt use her name but i know he was talking about her, he mentioned that she was killed, he wants to meet up with me err you"

"Really?" she said with wide eyes, maybe this is the route she could go, certainly not everyone could be as impossible as John McBain..

"Listen i dont know if its a good idea ok, i was thinking maybe you could just talk with him online" Cris began..

"of course, im not gonna meet some werid guy in person Cris, ive had my fill" even as she said this she knew she was lying..

"I was hoping you would say that, do you have a pen handy" he began and she scrambled to find one, this could definitely be the missing part of the puzzle..

About a half hour later natalie sat with her finger on the send button, she felt silly over her nervousness, hell she could do this, she looked over her message again and then hit send and waited..

It really wasnt long at all until she got a response..

_Decietful Way: Hello sweetheart i was hoping you would contact me again, how was your day?_

Angel Eyes: It was ok, and yours? I enjoyed talking to you before.

Natalie laughed as she typed, Cris couldnt of picked a lamer name for her but what the hell maybe this would work! Cris had acted as if he was a submissive girl looking for some help, natalie cringed at the idea but waited patiently for him to respond..

**Decietful Ways: Much better now that your here, I too enjoyed our conversation, you know it could be alot more interesting in person...**

Natalie swallowed hard, her subconscious screaming at her that this was a bad idea, a very bad one but it may just be what she needed, this guy knew Tess, another idea hit her in the gut, maybe this is the guy responsible for taking her life..

She didnt answer right away as she sat there contemplating what to do, she could hear Cris in her mind telling her that she should just get as much information as she could online, she had promised him she wouldnt try and meet him in person..

_Decietful Ways: You still there sweetheart?_

Angel Eyes: Yes im just not sure of meeting you in person.

Decietful Ways: I understand your concerns, like I told you before we could just get to know each other better and see if were compatible, it's up to you, no strings..

Natalie stared at her computer, her heart racing, this could be it, the moment she had been waiting for..

**Angel Eyes: ok maybe somewhere public**

She hit send as her hands shook..

**Decietful Ways: Do you know of a place called Capricorn? We could meet there, i hear a band is playing tonight.**

Natalie took a deep breath, of course she knew Capricorn, she knew every place in this town, she felt butterflies fill in her stomach..

**Angel Eyes: Ok, how about in an hour, how will i know who you are..**

**Decietful Ways: I will find you sweetheart, meet me by the bar in an hour**

Natalie looked at the computer screen, her eyes wide, holy crap what had she just agreed on, she suddenly felt sick as she sat there and then she looked at the clock, shit, she had one hour to get ready and head to Capricorn, she didnt even know who this guy was, she contemplated calling Cris and letting him know but she thought against it, she could do this and she was meeting him at Capricorn not in some dark alley, she quickly jumped in the shower to get ready, it was game on..


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

It was nearly 10 pm as Natalie sat in Capricorn at the bar, there was a bad playing and she sipped her beer nervously. She had opted on a jean skirt she had stowed away in the back of her closet and a very revealing tank top, she was going to get information from this man one way or another and her body hadnt let her down yet.

She had lied to Cris and said she was going to bed early but now as she sat at the crowded high end club she felt unsure about her lie, she tried to shrug it off as she sipped her drink, she could do this!

She couldnt help her mind going back to John and what an asshole he was, god he got under her skin and not in such a good way, she hoped this guy was different, atleast he seemed like he was on the computer but then again this guy thought she was a submissive girl, she laughed at the idea, she was far from that.

She had quickly researched S&M on her laptop before coming and it was quite the eye opener, even though the relationships were based on someone being Dominant and the other being Submissive, essentially the submissive person had all the control, how weird was that, it confused her but she would just bat her eye lashes and yes him to death and she was sure he would be puddy in her hands..

She leaned over the bar and ordered another beer.."let me get that for you" a male voice said from behind her and she frooze for a second and then turned to face a pair of green eyes attached to a very large frame, damn this guy had to be atleast six and a half feet tall, his hair jet black and long, very long actually, it was down his back, he was dressed ematiculately in a silk black button down shirt and slacks, she swallowed hard, was this decietful ways, holy crap she was intimidated.."angel eyes i presume?" he grinned softly, his voice was deep and sultury..She couldnt answer for a second as her eyes got wide and she blinked wishing now she would of told Cris of her wereabouts..

"Oh... yes i um" she began to ramble some as she looked up at him, god she felt really small right about now..

"My names Steele, its nice to meet you in person" he put his rather large hand out to her and she swallowed hard as she shook it, he had a strong grip.."Your screen name suits you well" he smiled at her..She flushed as she looked at him, granted this man was very attractive and he exhumed a powerful male aura, intimidatingly so..

"thanks you can call me" she froze for a second, she couldnt give this guy her real name, she thought for a second.."Amber, my names Amber" she smiled nervously as he reached past her and grabbed her drink and ordered himself one..

"shall we talk?" he asked as he smiled at her..All she could do was nod her head as he handed her the drink and he grabbed his.."Lets find somewhere a little more intimate" he grinned as he began to walk and she followed him, he was enormous, he moved confidently and towards a secluded booth, he took a seat and she did too, grateful for the dim lighting in there cause she was red from ear to ear.."so from our conversation i take it your new to this" he raised an eyebrow and she drank her beer quickly..

"is it that obvious" she said with a nervous smile..

"thats nothing to be ashamed of Amber, sometimes it takes awhile for us to find our calling" he sipped his drink.."You are quite beautiful" he said bluntly and she felt her face flush, god was everyone in this lifestyle so damn forward, she wasnt use to this..

"thank you Steele" she continued sipping her beer..

"so i take it you have some questions, please dont hesitate to ask me anything" he spoke smoothly, it was a nice change from Mr. Domineering, this guy was very respectful, surprising as it was considering his appearance..

"well um" she began as she stared at her beer..

"Please keep your eyes on me as you speak Amber" he said with a smile and she let out a nervous laugh, god she had to get a grip on herself..

She looked at him now.."so i do have um a few questions, how long have you been living this way" she finally found her voice..

"well i guess you could say i was born this way but im sure your not asking about that, as far as practicing what i preach well" he seemed to relax more as he he leaned back into the booth, she was surprised he fit into it he was so big.."about ten years" he said smoothly and she gasped a little, holy shit ten years!

"Oh" she swallowed hard, she didnt know if she could pull this off.."so you have had many submissives"

"a handful yes" he kept his eyes on her.."and you have never had a Dom, correct?"

"No not yet" she smiled nervously..

"well i hope i can change that" he grinned..

"You said that one of your subs recently passed away" she swallowed hard, might as well cut to the chase..

"yes unfortunately" he said low, sadness in his voice, she almost felt bad, this guy apparently had liked Tess..Actually she was starting to realize that alot of people liked Tess, it sort of irritated her.."does that bother you?" he asked softly..

"Its concerning" she said honestly..

"it wasnt by my hands if thats what you think Amber" he began with an even voice, and she fought the urge to laugh of course if it was he wouldnt tell her, she kept a straight face.."it was a horrible tragedy that happened months ago but we didnt come here to talk about that"

"of course not" she smiled nervously, she knew she couldnt push him..

"why dont you tell me what you are looking for" he asked softly as he sipped his drink..

"umm" she said nervously, she hadnt prepared herself for this sort of questioning..

"Maybe i should ask that a bit differently, what turned you on to this lifestyle" he asked as he looked at her..

"I um" she had to think, she remembered what John had said.."I felt like i didnt belong, i was looking for somewhere to be accepted" she said quickly as she shifted uncomfortably in front of him..

"arent we all looking for acceptance?" he leaned against the table and locked eyes with her.."are you looking for a quick getaway from your everyday life or are you considering something more, a more permanent commitment?" he raised an eybrow, she looked at him puzzled, what the hell was he talking about, a more permanent commitment?

"i um, i havent given that much thought" she said nervously..

"i will be honest with you Amber, i usually dont take on new subs, for a lack of a better word they are very time consuming" he said seriously and she had to keep a straight face..."but i would be willing to make an exception"

"Oh" she swallowed hard, this guy definitely took his line of work very seriously..

"i hope you dont mind but i invited someone to join us just incase we were compatible" he began and she stiffened some, oh this wasnt good, someone else was going to join them, he apparently saw the fear in her eyes.."dont worry, he is a good friend of mine and he helps me greatly, you've never been trained Amber and i like my subs a certain way, you understand?"

"yes" she swallowed hard, she had no idea where this was going, she did know she wanted to leave like now..

"you dont have to agree to anything just yet" he began and then he looked past her and smiled.."good he is right on time" she slowly turned her head and she nearly died as she saw a pair of blue eyes looking at her.."John" Steele said as he stood to greet his friend and natalie wanted to find a rock to hide under, holy shit he was there!."this is the sub i told you about earlier" he walked up to John who kept an eye on natalie, his eyes wide with a smug grin.."her name is Amber"

"amber you say? How interesting" John said as he neared her and she felt her heart race, this wasnt good, this definitely wasnt good!

"Amber this is John" he began as natalie stood now, she had a child caught with her hands in the cookie jar kind of look on her face, she wanted to run..

"it's nice to meet you...Amber" he said with a cocky smile as he put his hand out to her, she couldnt believe it, he was playing along, why, what the hell was he planning? She knew she should of just came clean right then and there or just ran away cause that was still an option but instead she shook his hand as she swallowed hard..

"well now that we got the introductions out of the way" Steele began as he offered John a seat and natalie watched him suspiciously, Steele sat and John followed which left natalie standing but she quickly sat down as she looked at the guys.."I was telling Amber here that i dont really take on new subs" Steele began as John smiled..

"I havent known you to take on a new one yet" he grinned as he looked at Natalie, she wanted to die.."Have you discussed the contract with Amber yet" he looked to Steele, natalie felt her chest begin to tighten, contract? What contract?

"i was getting to that" Steele began as he looked at her, he was all business like as he spoke..

"I assume you know what a contract is, right Amber?" John grinned smugly as he cocked his head to the side, he was enjoying this,watching her squirm..

Steele spoke before John could say more.."Basically sweetheart we need to get some guidelines down, something written that states what we both agree to get out of this relationship"

Natalie looked between the two of them, she felt like she couldnt breath, they were serious, she was speechless..

"Im sure you are familiar with different limits and what not" John began as he looked at her, she quickly began drinking her beer..

"she is new at this john, we may have to work up to limits" Steele said with a seductive smile as he looked at her..

"Oh of course" John grinned.."so would you like me to handle her as i did the rest?" he looked at his friend and Natalie nearly spit out her beer as she began choking on the drink.."You ok Amber, you look a little pale" he asked with a smile..

"im sorry i just" she stood now, her legs weak and shaking, she felt like she was going to pass out..."I ... i need to uh use the bathroom" she said quickly as she spun around and began walking quick, she saw an exit towards the back and she quickly ran towards it, this was definitely not what she was expecting.

Coming out of the door she saw an alley and she let out a sigh of relief as she looked around, it was dark and the sound of the club was pumping behind the door, she began walking fast down the alley that lead to the front of the club, she contemplated calling a cab but she didnt have time to wait for one to show up, she walked fast up the alley seriously regretting her choice of clothing, the heels she wore definitely wouldnt be good for walking a long distance, she turned the corner and then stopped when she saw him, John..

"going somewhere amber" he said dryly as he walked over to her and she rolled her eyes..

"I dont want to talk to you" she said with aggravation as she tried to walk past him and he reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her..

"You know for a cop you make some stupid decisions" he said straight faced and she yanked her arm back..

"im really not in the mood" she snapped as she began walking again..

"what exactlly were you trying to do back there huh... did it even cross your mind that you would get yourself in so deep that you couldnt get out" he began as he followed her, she kept walking.."Im talking to you Natalie!" he yelled this time and she spun around, he was right there, like inches from her..

"what do you want me to say Huh, that i fucked up, fine, i fucked up, are you happy now!' she snapped at him angrily..

"You dont even know what the hell your doing, this is a lifestyle that people take seriously its not to be played with, what would of happened if i didnt show up huh...what would you have done then cause i sure as hell know what he would of loved to do to you" his voice was loud and held an edge to it, he was mad, very mad..

"I had it under control ok, its not like i met him in a dark alley somewhere" she yelled sarcastically.."Nothing would of happen, why the hell do you even care!, you dont owe me nothing!"

"Your messing around with my club, MY friends!' he yelled at her as he stepped closer to her and she backed up.."this is not a game natalie" he kept walking closer to her until her back hit the wall.."I know Steele, he is a good friend of mine but if it wasnt him, then what, count yourself lucky that you didnt end up like your sister" he snapped at her..

He boxed her in with his arms as he stood literally inches from her.."i wasnt going to go anywhere with anyone, i just wanted answers" she snapped.."god you just wouldnt understand would you, have you ever lost anyone that you cared about" she yelled and he backed up some..Her voice was cracking with emotion and tears were threatening to spill from her eyes.." just leave me alone" she said as she spun from him and began walking..

"i trained her for Nash" he yelled and she stopped in her tracks and slowly faced him.."he saw her at my club and the two of them hit it off, she wanted to change herself for him so they could be together and i trained her for weeks" his words surprised her as she looked at him, she couldnt move as she stood there and he walked over.."its what i do, i train submissives for their Doms and your sister was something special, she was hurt, broken, i tried to give her an outlet for her anger, i tried to help her" his voice was low as he walked over.."she wanted to be accepted and she couldnt find that at home, she was scared and vulnerable, i didnt take advantage of her, i taught her to be strong" he stood in front of her now, she hadnt noticed that tears were now streaming down her face..

"i wanted to help her, i tried to help her" her voice cracked as she spoke.."she was my sister" she began to cry, in all honesty it was the first time that she allowed herself to feel anything, she had been so wrapped up with her own life, so bitter over the latest events that she hadnt had time to mourn and now the flood gates were open.."I have to live with the fact that i failed her when she needed me most" she quickly turned from him, embarassed by her emotional outburst as she quickly wiped her eyes.."I just wanted to give her peace even if it was in death" she said in sobs..

She felt his hand come onto her shoulder and she sniffled some more.."just leave me alone"

"why dont you let me help you" he said low, his tone surprised her, he was being soft which was very unlike him..

It made her laugh a little through tears.."trust me i dont need your kind of help"

He spun her around quickly as he looked at her.."im not offering that kind of help" he said seriously, he almost sounded offended.."i know this lifestyle and i know people, someone was killed recently at my club remember, i want to find out who is responsible"

"and why do i feel like there is a but somewhere" she said as she wiped her face and he looked at her long and hard..

"No butts just two people working together to find who is responsible" he said evenly.."but no more of this reckless behaviour, you could of gotten hurt" he began and she almost thought that he sounded concerned, but why, that is the part that confused her most..

"we can barely tolerate each other" she said with a roll of her eyes as she wiped the rest of her tears..

"i never did say it would be easy" he smirked a little..

"why do you want to help me" she finally asked and he ran a hand through his hair..

"because even though you drive me crazy, well i like you" he said honestly..

"you have a hard way of showing that you like me" she said with a sarcastic laugh..

"yeah well i think deep down part of you likes me too" he smirked and she rolled her eyes.."ok maybe not in the same 'i want to spank you until your ass turns bright red' kind of way" he grinned and her eyes got wide.."im kidding natalie, to be honest as you would say, your too controlling for me"

"Ok so say i agree to this little arrangement, what exactlly do you have in mind" she began as her heart raced, he wanted to spank her, or atleast thats all she heard, for some reason the idea was well intriguing even though she knew he was crazy as all hell..Hot yet crazy..

"well first off need to say something to my friend you left back there" he said seriously..

"what if i pretended to be a sub and you were to train me, i mean it could bring the perp into the light" she said quickly before thinking about what she was saying..

His eyes got wide as he looked at her.."You know that may just work"she swallowed hard as she stood there, her heart racing, she didnt even know if she could pull this off..

"i mean its not like were really gonna be doing anything, just pretending" she said quickly and he smiled..She looked up and saw Steele walking over and her eyes got wide, oh crap he was back, John turned and looked at his friend..

"whats going on out here" Steele said with confusion as he looked at them..

John looked at Natalie then at Steele..."we need to have a talk my friend" he began as Steele looked on with a puzzled expression..

An hour later they all sat at a local diner drinking coffee as John explained to Steele what was really going on, he looked shocked and well disappointed knowing that Natalie wasnt indeed a sub and John had asked him for his help in this and now they waited patiently for him to answer..

"i dont know about this" Steele began as he looked between the two of them.."so your really not a sub" he said to natalie..

She nodded her head no and swallowed hard as he ran a hand through his hair...

"wow that sucks" he said with disappointment and then he looked at John.."You really think this would work"

"i think it might, i mean look at her, if that sick bastard is still scooping out my club then she would definitely be eye catching" John began and Natalie felt her cheeks flush at his words..Steele looked at her too..They were both staring at her..

"she is hot and has that innocent quality about her" Steele said in an approving tone and she blushed more..

"can we just stop talking like this please, i am right here" she said with embarassment..

"i mean look at you, your a Doms dream" John grinned and she shook her head and laughed nervously..

"ok im in, just tell me what i have to do" Steele said quickly..

"good i knew i could count on you" John began as Natalie stared at her coffee, again for the second time today she was wondering what the hell she got herself into.."we need to start off with some ground rules" John began and then he looked at Natalie.."You may want to write some of this down" he grinned and she felt a lump form in her throat..

"You know if you change your mind when this is all said and done the offer still stands" Steele grinned big and she shook her head nervously..This was incredibly intimidating being with both of them..

"let just get on with this" John said quickly, suddenly seeming annoyed.."if this is going to work then we are all going to have to be in agreement here" he looked at Steele then natalie, they nodded at him.."good, lets get this thing started..

John began laying the ground rules of how they would all behave to track down the killer and how no one would go off on their own and she knew he was mainly referring to her. It was all too much to ingest, even in a simple conversation he commanded attention but this may just work..

"so tomorrow we will have you bring natalie to the club and we'll all act accordingly" John continued as she sipped on her second cup of coffee, it wasnt lost on her that the patrons passing through the small diner was looking at them all suspiciously, and why wouldnt they, here she was some young girl sitting with not one but two gorgeous men, she felt self conscious and uncomfortable.."that way everyone in the club will overhear what is going on and hopefully the person responsible will get wind of it and come sniffing around"

"do you think its someone we know" Steele said as he looked at John..

"i dont know, there are alot of newbies that come in and out, I always check out backgrounds" he began as he looked at natalie and she nervously looked down at her hands.."but it could be" he brought his attention back to Steele, it iritated him to think that someone he had let into his club had done this and to be honest if he found the son of a bitch he would hang him by his balls, that much he did know..

"Ok then, tomorrow its on" Steele said as he nodded in agreement, they looked at natalie..

"are you sure your going to be ok with this" John asked her..

She smiled nervously.."Im a cop, im ready for anything" even as she said this she doubted her own words..

"well since my night has gone to shit i guess im gonna go home" Steele began as he stood, so did John and then natalie.."you know if you wanted to come i might be up for some vanilla sex" he grinned and her eyes got wide.."i could make it worth your while"

John looked at him hard and he rolled his eyes.."I think we all need to just go home, to our own places, alone" he had that seriousness to his voice again.."I will bring you home" he said matter of factly to Natalie..

"alright then, the man has spoken" Steele said sarcastically.."goodnight Natalie" he turned from them as natalie looked at John, he looked pissed again..

"You know i can walk, its a nice night out" she said nervously..

"just let me bring you home alright, no fights, its been a long night" he said with an exhausted sigh as they headed outside..

John got her to her house within minutes, it was an uncomfortable ride and he turned the car off and she swallowed hard.."thanks for the ride" she began as she looked at him..."and thanks for helping"

"you do understand what your getting yourself into, right" he said as he looked at her..

"im not going to screw this up if thats what you mean" she said with a roll of her eyes..

He smiled and shook his head, leaning over her body she sucked in a deep breath, it took her a second to realize he was opening her door.."goodnight Natalie" he said in a husky voice just inches from her and then he was sitting back in the car, she quickly got out and closed the door, he watched her for another second and then took off and she finally let out the breath she was holding..


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Natalie had a difficult time sleeping due to what she had agreed too, she had tossed and turned for the majority of the night contemplating how they would pull this off, granted she had done some undercover stings in her line of duty but definitely nothing as outrageous and risky as this.

She sat sitting at her kitchen table drinking coffee as she looked at the email sent from Steele, this was real and it was happening, he was picking her up around 9pm tonight and she was anxious and nervous, still having to work a full day before going wasnt helping and the fact that she was told not to tell anyone was driving her crazy, she wondered how obvious it would be on her face, she never was a good liar..

The sad thing was that she really didnt have any friends at all, besides her partner Cris and well her brother Rex, her mind immediately went to him and she grabbed her phone and began dialing..

He picked up on the fourth ring.."hello" he said in a tired half asleep voice..

"well i take it you still have somewhere to live" she said dryly to him..

"man Nat do you know what time it is" he said groggily..

"well if you had a job you would be getting up now" she said a bit sarcastically.."which reminds me how is the job hunting going"

"Your calling me about job hunting" he said with confusion.."whats wrong?" he asked and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat..

"whats wrong with me? Nothing... cant a sister call her favorite brother" she said nervously...

"yeah...no,...thats my line Nat" he said as he began to wake up now..

"I just wanted to see how you were doing" she lied, honestly she wanted to tell someone what she was doing, she just didnt know exactlly how to do that, it really did suck not having any kind of friends to call..The sound of a groggy females voice was heard in the background.."who's that?" she asked quickly..

"Nat can we do this later as you can see i have company" he began and then he spoke to the female next to him.."its my sister"

"Oh ok, well call me later" Natalie said feeling shot down, Rex apparently had a girlfriend again..

"You are ok, right?" he asked again..

"yeah im fine...i will talk to you later" she said as she hung up and then sighed as she looked at the computer again and at Steele's message..

A few hours later Natalie sat in the patrol car with Cris, he had the radar detector set up as they sat, she had been day dreaming most of the day and since Cris hadnt said anything she had assumed he hadnt noticed but apparently she was wrong..

"so um how was your sleep last night, you went to bed early" he said as he stared out the window..

"Oh it was fine, i was tired" she lied as she stared out her window..

"Yeah im sure you were" he looked at her now..

"what? Im not allowed to be tired and go to bed early" she said quite a bit nervously..

"You know its funny cause the GPS on your phone said you were at Capricorn" he said as he looked at her..

"what?" she tried to act shocked, crap she had forgotten about the GPS tracking device on her phone, so much for trying to hide her location from him..

"Damn it natalie i told you not to go alone, what the hell happened, did you meet up with him?" he sounded angry and she knew why, it was a stupid thing to do but she definitely didnt like getting yelled at by him..

"You know Cris just cause i happen to go out doesnt always mean that i am up to no good" she said defensively..

"so then answer the question, did you or did you not meet up with that man" he stared hard at her..

"Your crazy, you know that" she said sarcastically as she looked away..

"god damn it natalie i didnt strike up a conversation with that guy so that you would run off playing private investigator" he snapped.."You know how dangerous that is!"

"Im not a child Cris Ok... I have this under control" she snapped angrily..

"oh this is just great, what happened to us being partners huh... now your just going to keep me out of the loop" he said with shock..

"Im not trying to keep you out of the loop, its just" she didnt know what to say, should she just tell him the truth, should she just keep on lying..

"My ass is on the line here too Nat, if something happens to you" he said with worry in his voice and she looked at him now..

"Nothing is going to happen to me ok, its fine, im fine" she said in a not so reassuring voice.."I told you i got this"

"got what? Cause i dont even have any idea of what 'this' is, you promised Nat, you promised to keep me updated, are you trying to get yourself killed!" he snapped at her..

"why all of a sudden does this have to be a life and death situation! God your not my father" she snapped at him..

"yeah well i thought i was your friend" he said low and she sighed as she looked at him..

"You are Cris, probably the only one i have" she said honestly..

"then tell me what is going on, let me help you" he said low..

"I cant" she said as she looked away..

"You cant or you wont" he kept looking at her, she didnt answer.."Jesus nat what did you get yourself into"

"Nothing ok" she said nervously..

"yeah i doubt that, you have been acting reckless since you decided to open up that case again, what the hell has gotten into you nat, have you forgotten all we have learned in the academy" he was angry now..

"it was a public place ok, im not stupid Cris" she snapped at him..

"and thats it, thats all your going to tell me, i was worried about you last night, i was going to go there" he said honestly as she looked at him with wide eyes, that would of been bad, very bad.."Nat your scaring me, what happened last night" he looked at her and she quickly looked away.."dont make me go to your uncle" she looked at him now..

"You wouldnt" she said with shock..

"someone has to know what is going on and if it isnt me" he said honestly..

"shit Cris why cant you just drop it" she said with a nervous yell..

"drop it, your getting involved with god knows what Nat, were partners i worry about you" even as he said it she could hear his worrying was way more then just having to do with them being partners, it wasnt a secret that he liked her and wanted more with her..

"cris please" she said low..

"Im sorry Nat but if you cant tell me then i am forced to tell your uncle" he said seriously as he looked at her and she took a deep breath.."I dont want to tell him Nat" he said low..

"fine but i swear Cris you cant tell anyone, no one can know" she said nervously as his eyes got wide..

"shit this is serious" he said with shock in his voice, she looked back out the window..

She couldnt look at him as she told him.."i met up with that guy online and everything was going fine until" her voice trailed as she thought of John showing up and everything else that entailed last night..

"Until? Nat until when?" he said with worry..

"Until he showed up ok, that guy from the club, John McBain" she said quickly as she stared out the window..

"Oh shit he showed up too, Nat this isnt good, what happened" his voice was riddled with anxiety..

"apparently they know each other" she said dryly.."and well john offers services to Steele"

"steele, who the hell is that" he began as she looked at him now..

"Decietful Ways" she said with a nervous smile..He sighed heavily as he looked at her, the lines on his face becoming more apparent.."he's actually not bad, i mean he was very nice"

"yeah because he wants you to be his slave" Cris said sarcastically but with aggitation underlying it...

"actually its submissive, i think slave is something else" she said with a shrug of her shoulders and he gasped at her.."I mean if were going to get technical here"

"Just continue please before you give me a heart attack" Cris said with a shake of his head..

"so i was talking to him, Steele and he was offering to well you know" she said with a nervous smile as Cris kept straight faced, she rolled her eyes.."and apparently he doesnt like his subs new so to speak, thats when John showed up" she looked back out the window..

"wait let me get this straight, Steele asked you to be his submissive but yet he doesnt like that your new so he called his friend who happened to be that douchbag" he began with almost a 'i cant believe i am saying this' kind of tone..

"yeah" she smiled nervously..

"shit this aint good, go on" Cris said as he shook his head..

"so anyways i was a bit shocked to say the least and i tried to pretend like i didnt know him but that didnt really go over very well, well it had until i found out why he called John" she said as Cris looked at her as if he was going to have a heart attack.."he wanted to have John train me for him" she swallowed hard..

"what? What the fuck Nat, are these people crazy!" he said in a loud shocked voice..

"Just calm down Cris, i know it sounds crazy" she said calmly and he literally had to do a double take as he looked at her..

"im almost scared to ask what happened" cris said honestly..

"well i kind of excused myself and left, quickly" she said as he looked at her and he began to relax some.."but" she said as his eyes got wide again.."John kind of followed me outside" she swallowed hard again as she remembered the conversation her and john had outside Capricorn..Cris was speechless and she decided to just continue before he did have heart failure in that car.."it was an uncomfortable conversation to say the least" she said honestly as she left out the part of her having an emotional breakdown.."then steele came out" she looked back out the window and Cris let out a breath he was holding.."i came clean about everything and well.." her voice trailed as he stared at her.."they offered to help me" the lump in her throat felt huge now as his eyes got wide..

"what? They just offered to help you, how?" he said with shock.. She let out a nervous laugh as she looked at him.."natalie what did you agree to"

"Listen cris its fine and i think it will work" she said nervously..

"You think it will work? What will work? Nat?" he was breathing heavy again..She mumbled something under her breath as he looked at her.."what?" he said puzzled..

"i agreed to pretend to be Steele's submissive so that John could train me" she couldnt even look at Cris as she spoke but his gasp was loud and clear, she stared out the window..

"What?!" he finally yelled.."you agreed to what?" she just looked at him and shrugged her shoulders nervously..

By the time they got back to the station Cris was still not happy with the arrangement they had agreed on and he was still quite pissed and well worried but she tried to calm him as much as she could, but he had his doubt and well to be honest she had her own doubts about this but atleast someone knew what she was planning, not that it made her feel any better about tonight, its not like it was real, it was going to be pretend, thats all, she was essentially the bait for the sick twisted killer, she could do this, she kept telling herself that..

Natalie had left about an hour early from work, she had to go to the store and get an outfit for tonight, the only good thing about all of this was that Steele's email had a detailed list of what she should wear, apparently people dressed a certain way at this club, she just had to keep reminding herself that this was to catch a killer but looking at herself dressed in a pair of tight black leather pants, a black halter top and six inch heels was making her regret this decision as she looked at herself in the long mirror at her apartment..

She couldnt help but laugh, she looked like a cross between Sandy from Grease and a really high priced hooker, it was well laughable! Not to mention she could barely walk in those heels, she spent a half hour just practicing so she wouldnt fall on her ass..

The sound of a knock on her apartment door made her jump and nearly fall in those heels, he was there, she felt her heart race as she made her way to the door as gracefully as she could, the butterflies in her stomach were out of control, she looked in the peep hole and saw his massive form on the other side of the door, for a second she couldnt move as she looked, this could go wrong in so many ways, she finally got the courage to open the door as she smiled nervously..

He slowly turned to face her, his eyes lighting up.."wow" was all he said as he looked at her and she blushed from ear to ear.."You look" he began..

She cut him off.."silly as hell, you know i can barely walk in these heels" she said with a nervous laugh as he smiled big..

"i definitely had my doubts about you pulling off this look but...wow, you are smoking hot" he said with an appreciative grin..She wanted to hide her face or run, but running in these heels was definitely not an option.."are you sure you dont want to give it a try, i guarentee you wont be let down" he grinned big and she shook her head with embarassment..

"thanks but no thanks Steele, are we ready to go cause my feet are killing me already" she said honestly as her heart raced..

"its a freaking shame natalie cause you would make one kick ass Sub" he continued and she felt like her face was on fire.."come on, the club awaits our arrival" he grinned as he took her hand and she swallowed hard as they took off..

Stepping out into the parking lot with Steele her eyes got wide at the enormous vehicle taking up two spots, she looked up at him as he held her hand.."ok so i shouldnt be surprised that your car is as big as you" she said with a half laugh and he grinned as he looked down at her, even with her six inch heels he was still atleast 5 inches taller then her..

"Oh you havent seen nothing yet sweetheart, everything about me is big" he grinned devilishly and she couldnt help but laugh again as they walked over to the Hummer..

"This is a huge truck" she said as she stood in front of it, it was silver in color and well definitely the most impressive ride she had seen ever..

"what can i say i like my toys, its the new Hummer H3 and it rides like a gem" he grinned as he opened the passenger side door and before she could think of how she was going to get up into it he lifted her by the waist and she let out a small yelp, damn he as strong, he didnt even break a sweat..

"ok next time warn me before you do that" she laughed as she sat down..

"How about next time i will wait for you to beg me to do that" he smirked and then closed her door as he walked around and she tried to force herself to slow her breathing, this had been the most excitement she had had in forever and they hadnt even gotten anywhere yet, tonight may be the death of her..

He got in gracefully and started the monster up, immediately the radio kicked on, blasting through the speakers as the bass pumped through her body, it was insanely loud, he lowered it to a reasonable pitch and then winked at her as he began to drive..

"so have you ever been in a club like this one" he finally asked as he drove..

"Cant say i have" she said nervously as he glanced at her..

"well this should be interesting" he grinned.."You never know you may like it"

She let out a nervous laugh.."yeah i ...i uh doubt that"

"well your definitely gonna be the talk of the night, remember what i told you though ok no making eye contact or conversation" he was being serious and she nodded her head.."this may be pretend for you but it is a way of life for everyone in there"

"ok no eye contact, no conversation" she said quickly, she was actually grateful for both of those rules cause she honestly didnt know if she could talk to anyone there or look at them.."How long have you known John" she asked as he drove..

"for way too long" he smirked.."we go back to our military days" he continued..

Natalie looked at him with wide eyes.."you were in the military?" now that shocked her, he looked like a rock star or a tattoo artist but not a military guy..

"looks can be decieving sweetheart" he smiled.."Im a man of many trades"

"i guess you are, what about john, has he always been so, i dunno...umm" she began and then stopped wondering if she should indeed speak her mind..

Thankfully she didnt have to cause he did as he looked at her.." a cocky son of a bitch?"

"well yeah" she laughed some..She was surprised at how much more laid back Steele was, he wasnt the overbearing control freak like John, he was well, kinda cool..

"ah he's not so bad, just been through alot" he said almost nonchalantly but Natalie couldnt help but want to know what exactlly he had been through, apparently something big.."you like him" he wasnt asking, it was more of a statement and she began to laugh nervously..

"actually no, he pisses me off more often then not" she said with a nervous laugh as he looked at him..

"nah you like him" he grinned.."let me give you a word of advice about him" he said seriously as she looked at him and swallowed hard, did she like John, like really like him, no, she couldnt, could she?.."Dont get too attached ok, you'll only end up getting hurt"

"i dont think you heard what i said, i dont like him like that" she said nervously as she fidgeted some..

"Just remember what i said ok, your a good girl, too good actually" he smirked and she blushed again as she looked out the window, it kind of irked her that he said not to get too attached as if he knew she would, she wouldnt this was just part of the case, she knew better then to get involved with someone like John McBain..

She felt the uncomfortable tension fill the car and she desperately wanted to change the subject.."so what do you do for a living Steele" she finally asked, she was quite curious as to what a man of his stature did and her imagination was running wild..

"Have you ever heard of The haven?" he said as he looked at her and she thought for a second..

"yeah isnt that the Domestic Violence Shelter downtown for women and children" she began, she knew that place well, being in the line of work that she was she had sent many women in that direction, he smiled as he looked at her..

"I started it from the ground up, got a few of them all over the state now" he said as she looked at him surprised.."what?" he grinned..

"i just never would of thought that you would be in that line of business" she said with shock..

"Ive been fortunate to have the means to help others so when im not trying to spank beautiful women as yourself im rescuing them from violent predators" he had a seriousness to his voice, he believed in what he did, it literally shocked her...

"wow that is impressive Steele" she said honestly as he grinned at her..

"Impressive enough to submit to me?" he smirked and she laughed now, he did have a great sense of humor.."Ok ok... but let me just say you cant mock it till you try it"

They pulled up in front of the rather large warehouse, the parking lot was already full and she felt anxiety race through her as he pulled towards the back and parked, right about now she didnt know if she could do this, she was beginning to sweat as she looked at the packed parking lot, what if she saw someone she knew, oh my god the thought was not only horrifying by mortifying..

"Just take a deep breath ok, its not too bad in there, if anything you'll probably be really turned on" he grinned as he hopped out of the Hummer and she let out a nervous laugh, turned on, she seriously, seriously doubted it, actually she was hoping not to pass out or vomit, possibly both..He opened up her car door as she felt her body begin to tremble.."come on Miss natalie, your doom awaits" he said in almost a dracula kind of tone as her face got pale.."im kidding" he laughed as she reached for his hand and he helped her out.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Her feet felt unsteady on the pavement and she was sure her blood pressure was going through the roof at the present time, she could not get her feet to move and he looked at her..

"need me to carry you?" he grinned and she let out a small nervous laugh..

"no i think im ok" she said as he took her hand and began to lead her inside..

They entered through the main doors that lead into the lobby, sitting at the front desk was a woman with bright red dyed hair cut short into a pixie cut, from what natalie could see she had on some sort of black mesh see through shirt that clung to her very naked breasts, she immediately looked down trying not to stare, she was scared to see what the woman wore on her legs..

"good evening Sir" she said politely to Steele and all he did was nod as he went to the two large doors leading to the club, she took a deep breath, their was loud music playing and as he opened the doors it hit her like a freight train, the bass thumping through her body as she stared at her feet, she could see the legs of other people around her and she was very very grateful for the rule not to look at anyone cause she honestly didnt know if she could keep a straight face, he kept walking them straight, his hands clutched tightly to hers until he got to a rather large wooden door and then he knocked, even through the loud music she could hear a voice inside and it was female, and that female didnt sound very happy, she could feel a change in Steele's stance, he seemed annoyed and then the door opened and she saw a very slender pair of light brown legs..

"dont you have somewhere else you need to be Evangeline" Steele said in a very deep, very pissed off tone, Natalie was dying to look up to see who this woman was but she didnt dare, from what she could see the woman was dressed in a knee length skirt, it almost looked professional, who the hell was this woman and why did Steele have that tone with her and why was she in Johns office?

"Oh im sorry i didnt now the visiting hours at the psych ward were so late" she said with a smart ass attitude and he squeezed natalie's hand hard, she winced some and he lightened his grip..

"Evangeline just go" she heard John say, he too sounded annoyed as well as tired, who the hell was this woman.

She stormed past them and nearly knocked Natalie out of her way, Steele closed the door behind them..

"what was she doing here, i thought you made it clear that she stays away" Steele said as he let go of Natalie's hand and walked past her, she finally looked up now, John was standing at his desk, he looked pissed as he glanced at her and then poured himself a drink..

"you know Evangeline, she does what ever the hell she wants" he said dryly and Natalie swallowed hard, he hadnt even acknowledged her presence yet as Steele walked around the desk and grabbed a cup and began pouring himself a drink..

"she still wont let you buy her out of the club?" Steele asked as he took a drink, Natalie watched on with confusion, what were they talking about, was she somehow partners in the club? Natalie stood uncomfortably..

"yeah i dont think that is ever going to happen" John said dryly and then looked at natalie again..

"Pretty nice getup huh" Steele grinned proudly as he looked at John then at Natalie..

"did you eat?" he asked her and she held in the words she wanted to say, hell she was annoyed that he seemed unaffected by the way she was dressed even though in reality she didnt dress for him, or atleast she wasnt trying to, oh hell who was she kidding, she wanted to see his expression but the blank stare he gave her made her want to throw something at him or hit him at best..She rolled her eyes at him, why did he have to be such a dick and who cared if she ate or not.."Natalie did you eat yet?" he asked again as he sat up more in his chair..

"is this some kind of inside joke i am missing out on" Steele said with a puzzled look..

"No apparently my eating habits are a huge concern for him and by the way yes i ate" she said sarcastically even though she was lying..

"you know if this is going to work then your going to have to get rid of that attitude" he said with annoyance in his voice..

"Im sorry i thought this was based on mutual respect not you just throwing your authority around, i will let you know that i have researched this lifestyle and no where did i read that the submissive gets to be treated like a piece of crap" the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them, Steele looked at her with a shit eating grin and John just kind of blinked at her with shock on his face..

"You think im not respecting you" he said in an almost insulted way..

"why dont we ask Steele here if your respecting me" she snapped as Steele put his hands up in defeat..

"No no no dont put me in the middle of this" he said as he shook his head..

"what are you two like BFF's now" John said sarcastically as he looked at them, there was something else in his voice, it almost resembled jealousy but he wouldnt be jealous, would he? Why would he?

"Im just an innocent by stander man" Steele laughed some..

"thanks Steele very polite of you" Natalie said sarcastically, of course he would side with John, apparently everyone did!

"yeah i think this is my time to leave" Steele said uncomfortably as Natalie rolled her eyes and huffed..."I'll call you tomorrow" he said to John and then he was out and Natalie stood with her hands on her hips..

"so this is your plan, to give me a hard time?" John said with agitation..

"how come you always turn things around on me, god your impossible" she huffed in frustration..

"Im impossible?... you cant even do a simple thing like keep yourself fed" he snapped at her...

"Oh please if i wanted to starve myself to death then i would" she said sarcastically..

"wow you really know how to piss me off, your lucky this is all pretend" he said with a deadly serious voice, it made her swallow the lump in her throat..

"Or what" she mustered up the strongest voice she could..

"Or" he moved quickly around his desk and right in front of her as the back of her knees hit his leather couch.."Or you dont want to find out" he was literally inches from her and she quickly sat down, needing to seperate the distance between them, god was it hot in here or what?"Now we could go on like this all night or we could go along with the plan, there is a killer on the loose remember?" he said with a raised eyebrow..

"Fine" she hated that she was giving in but he was so close, so deliciously close to her, he knelt down and she couldnt help but take in the view, he had on a tight black tshirt and faded jeans that hugged his ass and hips, his long dark hair was unruly against his face, god damn he was hot when he was mad..His eyes glazed over her body and she was stung by the heat of his gaze, again she felt the incredible urge to kiss his lips, she wondered what they would taste like, the images floating through her mind had her chastizing herself for being so damn foolish..

"Your exhausting" he finally said as he stood and ran his hand through his hair and walked away from her, she couldnt even find words to say, she was sure her face had 'please fuck me' written all over it and she desperately tried to wipe it off.."Now that everyone in the club saw you come in here they all assume were going over the contract" he said as he walked back to his desk and sat down...

"I really dont understand why a contract would have to be involved, i mean everyone is here for the same reason" she finally said as she tried to keep the conversation light, they did better with light talk..

"and you did research?" he said with a shake of his head..

"i read some things" she said with a nervous smile..

"do you want to see a real contract" he asked as he sipped his drink and he pulled a folder out of his desk and placed it on the table.."come see, its not gonna bite you" he said with a hint of a smile and she stood on wobbily legs as he rolled his eyes.."You know if you break your ankles wearing those"

"trust me i can walk in heels" she said sarcastically as she began walking over and her feet moved clumsily, she flushed with embarassment but she kept walking till she got to his desk and she looked down at the papers on his desk, it was indeed a contract, written as if it had some legal binding, she skimmed over it and a small gasp left her lips, some of the words she saw were anal play, oral pleasures, flogging and chains, she backed up some, flushing from ear to ear.."People actually agree to this" she said with a shocked expression..

"some yes... thats what the contract is for to detail what you will be willing to do" he said in a calm serious tone...

"so this is actually a contract of someone you" she swallowed hard..

"someone i trained,...yes" he said nonchalantly..

"Oh" she couldnt think of what else to say, to think that he went around and did those things to someone it was well mind blowing and she felt something stir in her stomach, was it jealousy?

"Ok so lets say that you were a real sub" the way he spoke almost made her feel annoyed that he looked at her like a freak even though she was the sanest person in this room..."what kind of things would you agree too" she couldnt believe he was asking her, she felt her legs get weak again and she sat in a nearby chair..

"agree too?" she said with a nervous laugh..

"were pretending remember?" he said as he picked up the papers.."You've given a blow job before right? Or experienced oral pleasure" something about the way he spoke made her face hot and she laughed nervously, she felt like a damn school kid who had heard the word 'penis' for the first time, she couldnt stop giggling..

"seriously that is way too much information" she said with a nervous laugh..

"are you really that uncomfortable with talking about sex?" he said a bit confused and she felt like a complete idiot..

"uncomfortable talking about it with you " she said honestly..

"why?" he had that puzzled look on his face again...

"why? Are you serious, because.. " she laughed as he kept a straight face, this had to be the most awkward she had ever felt..

"who was the last person you had sex with" he asked as if it was the million dollar question..

"Im sorry what?" she felt like she couldnt breath, she had never had anyone ask her that before and so bluntly..

"the last person you engaged in an intimate manner?" he said slower this time and she couldnt help but feel like he was mocking her..

"this is completely irrelevant to the case" she said defensively..

"so your telling me that you just have sex with men and dont even talk about it?" he said with a completely straight face, why did she suddenly feel so stupid, so small..

"No i didnt say that" she said with a nervous laugh..

"communication is the key Natalie, if you cant have that then you have nothing" he said seriously..

"yeah well just cause i dont want to have an indepth conversation with a complete stranger about my sexual preferences doesnt mean i dont know how to communicate" she said quickly..

"now we both know i am not a complete stranger" he smirked a little, it amazed her how he could go from two completely different extremes in the same conversation..He had to be bipolar!

"Ok maybe not a complete stranger but still" she said awkwardly..

"but what? You cant even talk about sex without giggling about it" he seemed annoyed again..

"its just not a topic that i make small talk about" she was getting mad now, jus cause she didnt want to give him details of her sex life didnt make her less then, god he was impossible!"not everyone is like you"

"i never said everyone was, im just stating the fact that in every relationship you need to communicate otherwise neither party knows what the other likes and dislikes for instance i would never just fuck someone just for the sake of fucking, i enjoy the chase, the begging that comes along with it" his voice had to be the definition of sex itself and she blushed at his words, she couldnt believe he was really saying all of this, she felt like she was in the damn twilight zone.."what do you like?" his voice was husky and raw, she wondered how many women fell for his voice and did what ever he asked cause damn it his voice was unbelievably seductive even when he wasnt trying and she was half sure he wasnt trying..

"I would like to talk about something else" she said in a low uncomfortable tone, she literally felt like she would have heart failure and then he moved over to her, where she sat and she gulped some..He took her hand and pulled her up so she was standing in front of him, she was exactlly his height right now and he stared at her, like really stared and she thought she would pass out, his eyes were damn hypnotizing..

"You know communication doesnt always have to be with words natalie, sometimes actions speak louder" he rasped as his hand came to her neck and he ran his hand down it.."sometimes its a feeling, a desire" he licked his lips.."an urge" she looked at his lips, his tongue, his eyes and then repeated the process, she felt dizzy and unable to speak, she had no idea what was going to happen but damn it she knew what she wanted to happen.."i think you communicate alot of things with your eyes" she stood completely still as his hand trailed right over her collar bone and she sucked in a breath.."but words... are always... needed" he said and then he was walking back to his desk as she stood there completely and totally blown away by what had just happened..What the hell had happened.."and thats bascially it, communication, plain and simple" he took a seat and she quickly sat down as well, this had to be the most mortifying experience ever, her literally used her as an example and she had no idea how to respond, she was embarassed, completely embarassed..

After too many minutes to count of uncomfortable silence as he looked at papers on his desk she finally decided to say something, she had to make some sort of small talk.."so who was that woman that was in here earlier" she had been wanting to know since she arrived at his office, there was so much she didnt know about him, hell she knew nothing about him except that he was in the military at one time, she wondered if the control of military life had pushed him in the direction he was currently in..

"Evangeline?" he said as he glanced up.."Nothing you need to worry about" he said with a standoff-ish tone and she glanced at her hands, so he wasnt going to make this easy..

"she seemed mad" she continued..

"she's always mad" he said dryly as he fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat, she could tell this was a subject that he didnt want to talk about, but hell they needed to talk about something..

"is she a partner in the club" she asked..

"You know you ask alot of questions" he said as he looked at her..

"Your the one who said communication is the key" she said with a roll of her eyes..

He let out an exhasuted sigh.."fine, she is a partner and so is Steele, any more questions?"

"actually i have alot" she said honestly and he sighed again as he poured himself another glass of scotch.."do you always drink so much?"

"are you really going to ask me that question" he seemed annoyed..

"Listen you may know everything about me but i know nothing about you" she began as he looked at her..

"are you fuckng your partner?" he said bluntly as she looked at him with wide eyes..

"what? What the hell kind of question is that" she said uncomfortably..

"You wanted to communicate and im curious, are you fucking your partner?" he asked again with a serious tone..

"Cris? No" she said defensively, she couldnt believe he was going there..

"why not, i mean it is apparent he wants in your pants" he said as he sipped his drink..

"No he doesnt" she said as her voice squeaked and she fidgeted uncomfortably..

"Yes he does" he said matter of factly.."do you like the fact that all the men you meet want to fuck you" he said with almost a blank expression, she was shocked as she looked at him.."come on its not a secret that your a cock tease"

"woo.. hold up a second how is this somehow turned on me, i was just saying i knew nothing about you" she said with a wide eyed look..

"Oh come on Natalie you can drop the innocent act it only goes so far, someone dressed as you cant seriously try and act all saint like" he said sarcastically..

"I didnt pick this out, Steele did" she said with an appalled tone..

"and you surely had a decision in if you were going to wear it, why did you" he stared at her and she felt so incredibly awkward..

"Umm hello look around you at this club" she said with embarassment..

"You didnt answer the question, if wearing that made you so uncomfortable then why do it?" she couldnt believe he was being serious..

"why are you trying to make me mad" she snapped at him, god she couldnt just have a normal conversation with him, he was even more fucked up then she had originally thought, Steeles words were blaring in her head..'dont get too attached you will only get hurt'!

"why does that make you mad, your the one wearing the outfit, apparently you wanted the attention, i think you like the attention" he said with a raised eyebrow and she felt her face get hot..

"I wasnt trying to get attention i was trying not to raise any flags" she snapped defensively at him..

"why so defensive then?" he continued..

"why are you interogating me" she said as she fidgeted some more...

"Im just asking a question your taking it the wrong way" he said dryly..

"Im taking it the way your giving it" she said as she shook her head and rolled her eyes.."is this normal conversation for you, to try and make whoever your talking to uncomfortable?" she snapped..

"You wear and outfit like that and im not suppose to comment" he said with a puzzled look..She let out a huff and rolled her eyes dramatically, god was it hot in here, she was burning up.."were you trying to please me?" he raised an eyebrow..

"Your crazy, you know that" she said with a nervous laugh, she wanted to leave but she didnt want to step out into that club again, she looked around for a door..Nothing..only one way out..

"so now you want to run instead of answering a question?" he said bluntly..

"No i want to leave cause your making me uncomfortable" she said honestly as her voice squeaked..

"you wanted to get my attention and you did" he said as he stood and she looked at the door quick and then at him as he walked over..

"fine whatever be delusional" she said nervously as he walked over, she kept staring at the door..

"there is nothing wrong with wanting to please someone, actually its quite a turn on" he said as he stood in front of her..

"Im not trying to do anything" she swallowed hard..

"would it kill you to admit that you are attracted to me? I think i have made myself quite clear as to how i feel when it comes to you" he said honestly..

She stood now, she felt so small, so embarassed.."i think im just going to go"

"why? you dont really want to go, youve just never dealt with someone who has been honest with what they want and i do want you" he began as she swallowed hard and glanced at the door again, he wasnt so close that she couldnt move.."If you really want to go Natalie, then go" he pointed to the door and she looked at it then at him..

"this case is not going to work" she almost whispered as he looked at her, god what the hell was his problem?

"this is who i am Natalie, take it or leave it but dont lie to me or yourself" he said as he ran a hand through his hair..

"Im gonna go" she said again as she forced her legs to move to the door and surprisingly this time they did move..

"when was the last time you felt this alive, this desired?" he said as she stood at the door, her hand on the knob, she didnt know what to say, she finally turned the handle..

"goodnight John" she finished as she took off, walking quickly out of the club she made her way outside and immediately remembered she had no car, she pulled out her phone and looked at it, she wanted to cry right about now.

"why do you always run away" he asked as he came up to her and she began walking, this was uncomfortable as it was, why couldnt he just leave her be.."ignoring me isnt going to change anything" he continued..

"Listen this is just too much ok" she finally said in an exhausted tone as she turned and faced him.."I cant do it ok, i admit it, i cant do it" she said with a defeated sigh.."all i want to do is take these retarded heels off and go to bed" she said honestly as he looked at her..."You can say it already, you can say 'told you so'" But he didnt say anything at all, he just stood there for a minute and then he walked closer, before she knew it his lips were crashing down on hers in almost a brutal assault that had her seeing stars. His tongue fought for dominance in her mouth as his hand latched into the back of her hair, she couldnt believe it, he was kissing her, she was kissing this crazy ass man in the parking lot of a damn dungeon!

She couldnt breath much less think, he was an amazing kisser, very talented with his tongue but it ended just as soon as it began as he pulled back from her and she literally felt weak in her knees, her breathing was ragged and she was now completely and totally confused..

"see that wasnt so bad, its nice to get it out of the way" he said with a heavy breath, he was affected by her and it stunned her as she stood there unable to talk..What the hell do you say after a kiss like that?"why dont you come back inside i want to show you something" he said as he looked at her..She felt like she couldnt even function much less answer him, her lips were still stinging with the sensation of his lips.."come on" he put his hand out to her and she looked at it then at him, god this night was getting weirder and weirder, something made her reach her hand to his, maybe it was the fear of passing out, maybe it was cause she really didnt want to leave, it definitely was something and he began walking with her back inside, his hand in hers..


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Thankfully as they entered he brought her to another door, one on the far right side away from the main club cause she honestly didnt know if she could face anyone in there, he opened the door and it lead to a narrow stair case, she looked up, where the hell was he taking her? He began leading her up the stairs and her heart raced, she was worried about what he wanted to show her cause at this point it could be anything, he stopped at the top of the stairs and unlocked another door and then opened it as he stepped inside, much to her surprise it was a fully furnished apartment, nicely furnished too, he finally let go of her hand as she stood in the living room, he walked into a near by kitchen as she stood there in awe, did he live there?

She could hear him moving around the kitchen and she walked over to a fireplace, she looked up at a mantel that held one picture, it was of two small boys..

"thats me and Michael, he would kill me if he knew i had that picture up" he said as she jumped slightly and turned around, he had two beers in his hand, he offered her one..

"thats your brother" she said as she looked back at the picture, she could definitely see the resemblence between the two young boys maybe 8 years old..

"he doesnt look like that anymore" he smirked as he sipped the beer.."but then again neither do i"

"what is this place, do you live here" she asked, somewhat shocked that he lived right on top of his club, surprisingly enough she couldnt even hear the pounding music below..

"what can i say im a workaholic" he grinned as he took a seat on a rather large black leather couch.."why dont you take your shoes off they look like they hurt" he smirked, he really was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde it was confusing to say the least...

She walked slowly over to the couch and sat down, it was big enough that she didnt have to sit right up next to him but of course he had to move right next to her and she sucked in a deep breath, her mind was still on that mind blowing yet confusing kiss..

"if i knew all it would take to make you stop talking is kiss you then i would of done it earlier" he grinned and she blushed..

"why exactlly did you do that" she finally asked as he looked at her..

"do you have to analyze everything?" he said as he leaned past her and pull one of her legs up on his lap, she froze and kind of stared at him blankly, he unlatched her heels and one by one took them off.."see isnt that better" he smiled as he put her leg back down and she smiled nervously..

"Im a little confused right now" she said honestly as he looked at her, his thigh touching hers..

"I'll be honest natalie your the first well um, vanilla girl i have kissed in many years" he said nonchalantly.."there is definitely something about you" he looked at her as if he was trying to figure out what it was, talk about awkward, she quickly looked away.."Im making you uncomfortable again" he said as he looked at her..

"this has been a very weird night" was all she could think of saying..

"weird good or weird bad" now he looked uncomfortable, atleast it made two of them..

"Im not really sure yet" she began and he leaned over quickly and took her mouth again in a surprising kiss, this time she pushed backed against him as she broke the contact and he looked at her confused.."Oh my god" she said in shock as he looked at her..

"what? Why'd you stop me" he said with almost a puzzled look..

"why do you keep doing that" she said as her hands went to her lips, granted she wanted to kiss him again but this was weird even for her..She stood now and he did too..

"Ok so let me get this straight, you want me to kiss you but you dont want me to kiss you" he said with confusion..

"i just dont really understand where this is all coming from" she walked across the room bare foot as he ran a hand through his hair.."I mean your yelling at me the majority of the time and then you just kiss me" she shook her head as she tried to make sense of this..

"yell at you? When.. i mean i may of been a bit over the top with your eating habit which by the way if you would stop lying about that then it would stop alot of the argurments" he said as he shook his head..

"what is it with you and food, i mean this entire situation is just weird" she said with a sarcastic laugh..

"your telling me, im completely confused right now" he said as he ran his hand through his hair again.."and people think im weird, go figure" he said sarcastically.."I just really dont understand what the big deal is, you wanted me to kiss you , i wanted to kiss you, what is there to discuss" he said with confusion..

"what is there to discuss?" she couldnt help but laugh, this was insane.."you are like two different people all the time" she couldnt believe she was having this conversation with him!

"i am known to be moody at times" he said with a shrug of his shoulders..

"Moody? I would say that is an understatement" she said as she laughed some more..

"Ok so you didnt want me to kiss you" he said with a puzzled look..She didnt answer him right away, her heart was racing.."did you or did you not want me to kiss you?" he asked as he looked at her..

"Ok ok, fine i did, you happy now, i wanted you to kiss me" she finally blurted out much to her own surprise..

"so what is the problem" he said as he neared her and she kept backing up..

"there is like a million problems and i honestly dont know where to begin" she said as she continued to back up, he looked like an animal stalking his prey, it was incredibly hot yet scary as hell at the same time..

"I want you and i know that you want me, so why dont we just pretend to have this conversation already and move on" he said as he kept walking towards her..

"but its just...its just not that simple" she said almost breathless as her back hit the wall and he stopped in front of her, like literally inches from her.."i dont really know what i am doing right now ok" she said low..

"I know i want to fuck you so bad right now" he said as he licked his lips..

"ok see that, right there... i mean what is that..." she said with a nervous laugh..

"what? Im telling you that i want you" he said with confusion..

"and i get that ok but, i mean...like...dont you have to work up to that or something" she could barely get the words out, she had never been so intimidated in her life...

"work up to fucking you?" he said with a puzzled look..

"can you just stop saying it like that" she couldnt help but laugh nervously again..."i mean people just dont say that, not like that" she shook her head, it felt like it was a million degrees in that apartment, she was burning up..He looked at her for a second, like really looked at her and then backed up, he turned and then walked into the kitchen as she stood there, she let out the breath she had been holding, what the hell was happening..Steeles words screamed in her head now..'dont get too attached to him cause you will get hurt', is this what he meant by that, had john been in this lifestyle for so long that he honestly didnt know any other way to behave then just this, it was absolutely flooring!

Days Prior..

_John felt disgusted and sick as he stared at the lifeless body of Anne on the ground, he couldnt even process what he was seeing, it seemed unreal, how the hell could this happen in his club, a crowed club no less, disgust quickly turned to anger as the place became over run with cops, half of his customers had left in a hurry mainly cause of their status in the community, they knew it would be looked upon poorly for a Mailman, congressman and District Attorney to be caught in that club once the cops arrived and well John wasnt too fond of the cops either, they had been trying to shut down his club for years and this was just the kind of thing to end it all.._

The police were careless as they came in, knocking things over without a care in the world, his place was becoming trashed and now a dead girl lay off to the side of his club as the place got over run..His lifes work was in this club, hell he had handmade most of the stuff in there..

"Hey be careful with that!" he yelled at one of the officers who carelessly knocked into a table and a wooden paddle fell to the ground..

"excuse me are you the owner here" an older man with thinning hair said as he neared him, he wasnt dressed like the other cops and John immediately knew why, this was the infamous chief of police, Bo Buchanan..

"Your men are destroying my place" he barked angrily..

"I apologize about that mr.." the older man said..

"John McBain,...why arent you out there lookng for who did this instead of tearing my place apart" he snapped again..

"were going to work on that Mr. McBain but first we have some questions" Bo began in a calm low voice..

"questions? There is a dead girl in my club!" he yelled..

"did you know her" Bo asked..

"Of course i knew her this is my fucking club" he yelled..

"excuse me Mr. Mcbain!' a loud female voice yelled at him as a flash of her red hair came in his sight..

He looked the woman up and down.."Excuse you!" he yelled..

"as of right now this is an open investigation" Bo began as John rolled his eyes..

"this is now a crime scene so unless you would like to answer our questions downtown" the fiery red head said and he glanced at her credentials hanging from her neck, of course she would be one of them, a Buchanan.

He flashed her a wicked smile as he stared at her.."Officer Buchanan is it?" he said sarcastically.."the person that did this is out there somewhere!"

"maybe the person who did this is still here, maybe he is right here, standing right in front of me" she snapped at him angrily, his blood began to boil as he looked at her, who the hell was this chick! Her uncle called her name in warning but John kept his eyes on her..

"i know my rights and unless your planning on arresting me" he forced his lips together tightly as his hands went to his hips, he was pissed!

"No one is arresting anyone Mr. McBain, all we would like is for you to answer some questions so we can find out who did this" Bo began calmly but he kept looking at the red head..

"did you know the victim, huh!" she yelled at him and it took everything in him to not snap, he ran his hand through his hair trying to calm himself from this irate woman.."maybe she said something you didnt like" she was mocking him and it only pissed him off more..

"You dont know me, you know nothing about me" he said through gritted teeth..

She rolled her eyes at him.."Oh please this is a serial killers dream" she spat sarcastically..

"ENOUGH" Bo yelled out and roughly pulled her aside and it was about damn time cause John was about to seriously rip into the little miss perfect Buchanan!Hell if he was gonna go to jail then he would go with a reason! She continued to fight with her uncle as he watched, he finally put two and two together, this was Tess's sister, the one he had heard so much about, apparently tess wasnt wrong after all, this woman was a Bitch with a capital B!.."Im not saying anymore until i have my lawyer" he finally called out..

The red head ran up to him.."did you rape her before or after you killed her you son of a bitch" she yelled as she lunged for him and he backed up just in time as she was immediately grabbed by two other officers who began pulling her away..

"thats it im pressing charges against her" he yelled out..

"get her out of here now" her uncle yelled as she fought against her own men and they dragged her outside.."i am so sorry" he began apologetically..

"is that how you train your officers" he yelled at the older man..

"she was out of line, i agree" Bo began as he ran a nervous hand through his hair..

"you know what i dont even fucking care, lets get this over with and believe me what ever damages i incur because of your men; i will be sending you a bill" he snapped as he walked towards the door in a huff!

John couldnt even sleep that night, after being thouroghly interogated at the station he had headed back to the club, the place was in shambles and the outline of Anne's body was fresh on the ground and he walked over to it and knelt down, his eyes closing as he touched the chalk outline, he would get the bastard who did this!

"so its true, she's dead" Steele said behind him as John stood up and looked at his friend and then walked to the bar, he needed a drink and a stiff one.."how the hell did this happen, did anyone see anything" Steele had concern in his voice. Anne had been a new sub to the club, she was a good person, working full time and going to school to be a teacher, she didnt deserve this, no one did..

John took a swig right out of the bottle, people trusted him at his club, they expected him to keep them safe and now after tonight he was unsure if he could even do that anymore, someone was murdered literally under his nose..

"they really fucked the place up" Steele said as he looked around at the damage, this was as much his place as it was Johns, they had built it from the ground up following their exit from the military, this was suppose to be their dream..

"FUCK!" John yelled as he threw what remained of the bottle against the wall, watching it shatter..The sound of his phone ringing made him jump as he grabbed it.."Mcbain!" he yelled into it and it was silent..."Hello?" he said with anger as he looked at his phone and then the line went dead, he immediately redialed it not recognizing the number..

"John just relax ok" Steele said as the phone rang, John huffed as he hung it up and looked at his friend...

"Relax? RELAX, do you see this place, do you see that" he yelled as he pointed to the chalk outline on the ground, this was truly a nightmare..

"we'll figure it out ok, we will find who did this" Steele tried to be reassuring..

"you know what im done, i cant even stay in here another minute it makes me sick" John said with disgust as he walked past Steele, he needed to just lay down and calm himself cause right about now he wanted to murder someone!

John awoke with a jump, sweat pouring from his face and chest as he tried to control his breathing, it had been quite sometime since he had nightmares but they were back, full force now, maybe do to the heavy alcohol consumption or maybe the fact that he had a lifeless girl right below him in his club just hours prior, he ran a hand through his wet hair, matting it against his head as he looked at the clock, it was nearly 4 am, he glanced at the nightstand beside his bed wondering if he should just take those damn sleeping pills his therapist had given him, he shook his head as he tried to clear the images, no he wouldnt take them, he didnt need anymore damn pills, not anymore..

He got out of his bed and made his way into the kitchen as he began to pour himself a cup of cold coffee, he drank it without warming it in the microwave as he stared out the window that was two stories up, he looked out into the field that was his back yard/ parking lot to the club, his mind began to travel..

It was warm out, midsummer as he ran through the spinklers in the back yard, his small body filled with excitement as if this was the best thing since sliced bread..

"Johnny look at me, look at me" his baby brother Michael squealed, he was only 5 years old to John's 9. It had been sometime since they had days like this were they could just be kids again but that would be short lived as his mothers voice startled them both..

"BOYS! Cut it out and get inside" she barked at them as their play time ended abruptly, John felt his anger building even as a child at the age of 9.."I said NOW!" she yelled again from the back screen door as they both looked at it.. His brother ran over to him, almost hiding behind him as John stood there protectively..

"I dont wanna go inside Johnny" Mikey said in a tiny scared voice, he was Mikeys protector, he had been since the accident just a year ago, an accident that changed everything for them, the same one that threw their tiny world upside down..

"its ok Mikey" he said low as he stared at the house and the sight of his mother stumbling around through the screen door, mikey was too young to understand what had happened, he didnt understand why their mother began acting the way she did but John knew, he knew all too well..

"whens daddy coming home johnny" mikey asked in a small voice..

He put his arm around his little brother.."soon Mikey, very soon" he lied not wanting to break his brothers heart, he would carry the burden all his own cause their father was never coming home, he was dead and gone and now all they were left with was a depressed alcoholic mother who could barely function day to day without a bottle in her hand, god how he wished things could be different, that they could go back to the good ole days when their father would come home from work and tell them stories of all the bad guys he caught, his father was a hero, his hero and his hero was taken away too soon...

As the day went on he tried not to think of his dreams or better yet nightmares that was his life but heading down into the club it was like a living nightmare, the place was trashed, so much hard work wasted, he cleaned the best he could until the sound of the bell at the front door alerted him, he glanced at his watch it was still early, surely no one was coming in at this time, he tossed his towel on the table and went to inspect..

He could hear voices on the other side of the door and then he heard her voice, the red head and his blood began to boil, what the hell did she want now! He swung open the door and looked at them.."what the hell are you doing here" he snapped angrily at her she looked at him, her face softened..

"Mr. Mcbain I want to apologize for my outburst last night" she said softly as he looked at her then at the guy who was with her, he took in the detail of the lanky short haired man standing awkwardly off to the side.

"we just have a few more questions" the guy said with a deer caught in the headlights looked, oh he was pathetic..

"Well if you havent noticed im busy, thanks to you and the good ole lanview police department i have to clean up your mess not to mention the thousand of dollars in damage" he snapped angrily..

"Mr. McBain" she swallowed hard..

"Officer Buchanan" he said with angry sarcasm as he stared her down, he could do this all day if he had to but her partner finally spoke and she broke eye contact from the staring contest and he grinned smugly as he stared at them..

"Just go in the car Officer Vega" she snapped through gritted teeth towards her partner and John couldnt help but be amused, she was something else, surely her partner wouldnt stand for it, he stared at the man.."Just go" she said again to him in a warning tone and then he was leaving, John had to hold back a laugh, this was priceless..

"Impressive, very domineering of you" he grinned at her as she snapped her head back around..

"Im glad you find all of this amusing Mr. McBain" she looked mad but hell she was hot, too hot for her own good, he leaned against the wall and smiled some, maybe he could tilt this somehow in his favor, he had never had a cop before...She looked at him for a few more seconds, oh she was checking him out, he grinned some..

"I know why your here officer Buchanan" he smiled..

"Oh i seriously doubt that" she said sarcastically as she stood up taller, was she trying to intimidate him, now that was cute, very cute..

"Your going to have to do better then that officer buchanan" he smirked..

"what? I dont even know what your talking about" damn she was fiesty, he liked it, alot!

"Intimidation Officer Buchanan, it doesnt work on me, not last night or tonight" he grinned and then he spun from her and entered back through the doors, he counted the seconds until he heard her huff and come through the door, now this would be easy maybe too easy..

Natalie stood in the living room as she contemplated what to do, should she go into the kitchen, should she just leave, this was a dilemma and one she honestly rather not deal with, everything was screaming at her to just go, he was a loose cannon. Steele's words seemed oh so true as they replayed in her head, she could definitely get hurt with John and she wasnt sure if that was a risk she was willing to take..


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

John woke again with his body being riddled with nightmares, he sat up in the bed and looked around in the dark room, it was just a dream, a horrible dream. He ran a tired hand through his hair as he glanced at the clock, it was almost 5 am and it definitely wasnt the way he had expected to wake up that morning, alone in his bed, his thoughts went back to her, to Natalie and how he had come out of the kitchen and she was gone which in all reality was probably the best idea considering they lived two completely different lives, but then why did he feel like such shit?

Natalie sat in her office at work, she was staring at the file in front of her but her mind was elsewhere, it was back at his apartment and how she had just left, she knew it was for the best, he was way too screwed up for her, but then why did she feel like such crap? Had she started to get feelings for him? That seemed proposterous..

The sound of an incoming instant message on her computer alerted her as she looked up..

**Decietful Ways: You've been awfully quiet today, how did things go last night?**

Natalie sighed as she looked at the message, she was wondering the same thing herself, what had happened last night, her office door opened before she could respond, she quickly closed her lap top as Cris came in..

"hey" he said as he sat on the chair across from her desk.."you went to bed early last night" he said nonchalantly and she sighed, she had left her phone at home knowing he could see where she was and she really didnt want to explain herself not to mention he had called numerous times and she never called him back..

"You know just because i allowed you to track my phone doesnt mean you have to track it all the time" she said a bit sarcastically..

"i thought that was the whole point of tracking it" he said a bit confused..

"no the point was to track it if i needed you" she said dryly and she watched a bit of hurt wash over his features but he quickly hid it..

"yeah well those guys are nut jobs anyway" he said with a roll of his eyes..

Natalie pretended to flip through some papers hoping he would leave but she wouldnt be that lucky..

"you know the police gala is coming up" he began and now she looked up at him.."you know it might be kind of fun" he said with a nervous shrug of his shoulders..

"Yeah im not really into that whole dressing up thing" she said honestly as she thought to what she had worn last night, was she even going to head back to the club again tonight, she didnt know..

"I wasnt asking you to go with me persay" he shifted uncomfortably in the chair..

"I didnt say you were" she said low feeling a bit childlish at the moment, Cris wasnt a bad guy by any means, he just wasnt well...he just wasnt what she was looking for but damn it if he didnt always make her feel bad..

Meanwhile John wiped down the bar trying to keep his mind occupied, he almost wanted to laugh, what was it with that damn redhead that had his head all screwed up, he shook his head and rolled his eyes..

"john smiling? This is a first" Steele said as John quickly looked up and immediately changed his expression, damn it he was caught..

"you know you really shouldnt sneak up on people like that" John snapped as he continued cleaning the bar..

"so how did it go last night, i want details" Steele grinned as he sat on one of the bar stools..John grabbed a bottle and put out two glasses on the counter.."none for me man, too early" Steele said quickly as John shrugged his shoulders and poured himself a drink.."so?" he had anticipation in his expression..

"so what?" John said nonchalantly..

"seriously man your not going to tell me?" Steele shook his head..

"Nothing to tell" john took a sip and Steele looked at him and rolled his eyes..

"Bullshit, first her then you, whats going on" he grinned as he looked at John suspiciously..

"I dont know what your talking about" John continued to sip his drink.."You uh heard from her today" he tried to sound as if he didnt care but damn it he did..He hadnt heard from her at all and he was sure he wouldnt see her again after yesterday..

"Havent you?" Steele raised an eyebrow..

"hey im not her keeper" John said with a bit of an edge to his voice as he turned from his friend and began walking into his office, Steele followed him.."Oh and i got the list of inventory we need" he tried to change the subject..

"Inventory? Really John" Steele rolled his eyes..

"Listen i got a shit load of stuff im behind on here" John began to get loud as Steele rolled his eyes..

"fine, inventory it is" Steele snapped as he grabbed the list from Johns desk in a huff, if john wouldnt tell him what was going on then he would go to the source..

Natalie kept trying to change the subject with Cris but he was relenetless as he continued going on about the police gala..."all i was saying is that since you will be there and i will be there" he said as she sighed..

"Cris listen im not even going to go ok" she began, she hadnt noticed that her uncle had walked in..

"Not going where" her uncle said startling them both..

"Nothing, its just the silly gala" she said nervously..

"and your not going?" Bo said as he shook his head and moved into her office more, looking at her and Cris.."natalie this an important event" he began as she sighed heavily..

"Im sure i wont be missed, i have alot of stuff going on" she began..

"actually that is why i came in here, do you mind giving us a few minutes" her uncle said to her and then to Cris who quickly got up, she could already tell this wasnt going to be good..

"I'll see you later Natalie" Cris said as he scurried out and Natalie closed the file in front of her as her uncle took a seat across from her..

"everything going ok" he asked a bit suspiciously..

"yeah its fine just trying to go through some of these cases" she kept her eyes on her desk..

"You know i was looking for one of the case files the other day in storage" he began as she glanced at him but didnt talk..."and its gone, you wouldnt happen to know where it is" she felt her heart beginning to race..

"why would i take a file believe me i have plenty" she said nervously as she looked at her desk and waved her hand over the numerous files on her desk..

"I know i was thinking the same thing, i mean if i gave you a direct order then i know you wouldnt go against it, so it kind of surprised me to see Jessicas files gone" he began in a serious tone as he looked at her..

"Oh my god its gone" she tried to act shocked but she fell short, she knew she did.."who would of taken it" she continued..

"i dont know ...who would of taken it?" he said suspiciously as he looked at her.."But since the station has survellance everywhere i am sure it wont take long to find out who it was" he raised an eyebrow at her and she held in a deep breath.."maybe the file will just show up tomorrow and then i wont have to do any further investigation on it" he said as he stood and she swallowed hard.."and you will be going to the gala Natalie" he turned from her and went to the door.."i worry about you Natalie, i worry about you all the time" he said low and then he was disappearing through the door as she sat there, finally letting out the breath she had been holding..

A knock on her door made her jump.."what now!" she snapped expecting to see cris again but as the door opened she saw the complete opposite, she saw Steele and her mouth nearly dropped open..

"is this a bad time" he said as he closed the door and she felt her heart race, why the hell was he there, had he talked to John, did he know what had transpired? She wondered who in the station saw him walk to her office, her heart began to race.."Nice office" he said as he walked around and began touching things as she just sat there in shock for a few more seconds.."You really need a better decorator though" he finally said as he stopped in front of her desk..

"im sorry..what...what are you doing here" she swallowed hard..

"Cant a friend come by to see how another friend is doing" he said as he sat down on the chair in front of her desk and he crossed one leg as he looked at her. He was dressed in a sharp black suit, he looked like a business man, his hair was pulled back in a pony tail, god people were going to be talking!

"Im kind of busy right now" she began as he continued to sit and look at her ..

"You look tired, did you have a rough night?" he raised an eyebrow..

She fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat.."thanks for the compliment" she said a bit dryly, he knew something that much she did know.."did he make you come here" she finally spat out..

"who?" he was playing dumb and she was getting annoyed..

"cut the crap ok Steele" she snapped and he smiled big..

"Oh this must be the cop side of you" he grinned..

"what do you want im at work" she said again..

"Just curious as to how last night went" he said nonchalantly.."and since you didnt respond to my message"

"Last night was fine and im at work, as you can see im very busy" she said nervously..

"You look busy and it was fine, hmmmm?" he leaned on his knees now with his elbows and she swallowed hard..

"I didnt screw anything up ok if thats what you want to know" she said quickly, he smiled..

"You know you can talk to me natalie, i dont bite well atleast not much" he grinned..

Before she could answer her office door opened yet again.."Man your uncle looks pissed" Cris began and then stopped in his footsteps as he looked at Steele and then at Natalie..

"cris seriously you need to knock" she said defensively as she jumped up with a nervous expression..Cris kind of stood there with a 'who the hell are you' kind of expression on his face..

"ah you must be the infamous partner, my name is Steele, a friend of Natalie" Steele said as he stood tall and put his rather large hand out to Cris who looked at it first and then shook it suspiciously..

"Cris" he said as he looked at the tall man..

"steele here was just leaving" Natalie said quickly as Steele looked at her and smirked..

"I will see you later then?" Steele said as he looked at her..

"yeah sure" she just wanted him to leave, she could already see the wheels turning in Cris's head and then Steele was stepping out of the office as Natalie turned and looked out the window..

"who the hell was that giant" Cris said a bit sarcastically.."and since when do you have friends"

"Oh thanks Cris, i forgot im a workaholic loser who doesnt have time for friends" she said defensively as she looked at him now..

"I wasnt, i didnt mean.." he began to ramble.."who was that" he shook his head..

"A friend ok" she snapped a bit and then quickly took a seat and thumbed through a file..

"a friend since when" Cris continued his interogation..

"Im sorry since when did i have to give you a play by play of my acquantaninaces" she said a bit rudely..

"I wasnt trying to bud in" he said apologetically.."I just wasnt expecting to see someone in your office"

"yeah well alot of people come in and out of my office but right now i am busy" she wanted him to leave..

"well i was just gonna go run and get some burgers for lunch, do you want something" he asked low..

"Im not hungry" she said quickly and then her mind went to John and his constant need to know that she ate.."maybe a burger" she said again, god why did she even care at this point..

John looked around his club, his mind drifting back to that day that she had showed up there..

_She was staring at the chalk outline on the ground as he looked at her.."Im glad to see our tax dollars are hard at work" he said a bit dryly as she looked up at him.._

"i didnt come here to make small talk Mr. McBain" she snapped at him in that fiesty way that made his blood race..

He began to walk towards her, sipping on his drink as he enjoyed the nervous flash in her eyes.."oh really now then what has brought you back here Natalie"

"its officer buchanan" she said quickly..

"Of course officer buchanan" he grinned as he walked up to her and then let his eyes feast on her outfit, landing at the handcuffs hanging from her pants.."you get to carry yours around and yet im the freak" he took another sip of his drink..He watched as she shifted uncomfortably and then a slight red came over her face..

"Mine are used legally Mr. McBain" she said quickly..

"so are mine" he raised an eyebrow.."except its usually a lot more pleasurable when i put mine on you" he smiled..She blushed again, it was a good color on her..

"Do i have to remind you that i am an officer of the law and harassment is illegal" she snapped smugly and he was done playing with her..

"what do you want officer buchanan" he snapped..

She pulled a picture from her pocket and held it up.."I want to know if you know who this woman is" he looked at the picture of Tess then he looked at Natalie..

"I dont know who that is" he said as he turned from her and began walking back to the bar..

"then please explain to me how i got this" she snapped.."it was found on her and on her i mean on her body" she snapped as he looked up at her and saw his business card in her hand..

"Oh so it was you who called last night" he knew he hadnt recognized the number..

"Im not in the mood for games Mr. Mcbain, tell me what you know" she demanded as he poured himself another drink nonchalantly..

"I believe this conversation is over" he said as he began to lose his patience..

"is that an omition of guilt" she snapped at him..

"You really have quite the mouth on you Officer Buchanan, i advise you to leave before you make me really mad" he said threateningly..She looked conflicted as she stood there..

"i will find out" she snapped as she grabbed the picture and the business card and stormed out. He stood there for another moment, letting her words sink in, she had mentioned a body, as in a dead one? His mind began to race, had Tess died? He hadnt heard from her in awhile but that wasnt unusual for her plus she had been with Nash, but then again he hadnt seen Nash either, now he had questions, he quickly headed to the door, she was about to get in her car..

"her name was Tess" he yelled out as she stopped, her eyes wide and then she was walking over quickly..

"yes mr. McBain it was" she began, she had a look of hope in her eyes which was odd for him, Tess had talked about her but it wasnt ever good.."did you know her?"

"she didnt come around often but when she did lets just say she left a lasting impression" he said a bit coldly as the idea of her being dead plagued him, he spun from her..

"wait i have questions" she called out..

"and im busy officer buchanan" he snapped..He needed to call Nash, to see what had happened..

"this is official police business and if you know something" she began as he looked at her..

"first off i dont take kindly to being told what to do, secondly i am busy, if you would like to discuss this further then you will have to come back later" this conversation was over for him, he wanted to find out what had happened to Tess..

"come back? But im already here mr. Mcbain" she walked up to him.."i could make you answer my questions" she tried to intimidate him again, it only irked him more..

"then you will get nothing" he said angrily..She seem to ponder things for a moment..

"what time?" she finally said in defeat..

"Im not sure but now that i have your number i will be in touch" he said and then he walked through the door, leaving her standing outside, he immediately went to his office and opened the drawer next to his desk, the one that had Tess's file in it and he looked it over and then he grabbed the phone and began to dial..A man picked up on the second ring.."nash, its John we need to talk"

John was snapped from his memories by his cell phone ringing, he answered it with annoyance.."what?" he snapped..

"johnny?" a familiar voice said, one he hadnt heard since last year..

"Mikey?" he said with a calmer voice.."Hey how are you doing man, its been awhile" John began a bit shocked that his brother was calling but then he remembered why, he had been so busy with all the shit going on lately it must of slipped his mind, mikey only called one time a year, and it had to be that time again..

"Im ok just finished my residency at the hospital" his brother said and John smiled, he always knew his brother would make a great doctor.."marcie is expecting too" he began..

"wow i guess congrats are in order" John began, his brother would have it all one day, the house, the car, the family maybe even a damn dog but none of that was in future for john, he knew better..

"thanks everything ok with you" his brother asked with a bit of concern in his voice, it wasnt a surpise that john lived a very private life, no one knew what he did, not even his brother..

"its good, been busy" John began as he sipped on a drink...

"so um your gonna head down tonight" he began.."we could meet up maybe get a few drinks"

"yeah of course" John said as the thought of going back to AC fucked with him again as it always did..

"cool, how about we meet at O'Reily's say at about 7" Mikey began as John looked at his watch..

"Ok, see you then" he said as they hung up and John glanced around the club once more, if he left now he would just make it in time, he finished off his drink and quickly headed out..

Natalie tried to work the rest of her day and she hadnt heard word from John at all, she hated how affected she was because of this ,not that she was planning on seeing him tonight, hell she had made her entrance there that should be enough to raise a few eyebrows, right?

By the time she got home her phone had been quiet, not a single phone call, she hated how much it irked her that he hadnt called, but then again maybe he understood that this was all too much, maybe he was just tying his hands of the situation, maybe that was for the best and if she hadnt walked in her bedroom maybe she would of agreed but seeing all the files, the same ones she had to return to the station, she knew what she had to do, she grabbed for her phone and looked at it, before she could dial a knock was heard on her door, her heart began to race maybe he was just coming by, she quickly made her way to the front door and opened it but much to her surprise it was Steele standing there..

"expecting someone else?" he said with a smirk..

"No of course not, what are you doing here" she said nervously..

"cute pajamas" he grinned and she flushed with embarassment at her clothes.."You gonna let me in or what?"

"Yeah ok" she said with a hint of confusion to her voice as he walked in and began looking around..

"wow so apparently your fashion sense does hit home as well as your office" he said as he looked around..

"My apartment is just fine thank you very much" she said defensively as he finally stopped walking and looked at her..

"still in that bad mood i see" he began as he sat on her couch and leaned back..

Natalie ignored his statement as she looked at him.."im sorry i really dont know why you are here"

"well i thought we were working on a case together" he said with a raised eyebrow..

Natalie suddenly felt embarassed, of course they were working on a case, or atleast they had been but after last night she wasnt so sure.."Im sorry its just been a long day, do you want a drink?"

"do you have any coffee?" he asked and that kind of surprised her, he didnt look like a coffee drinker, more like a vodka straight up kind of guy.."what?" he asked..

"Nothing you just dont look like a...nevermind let me get the coffee" she said as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed two cups..

"Didnt you ever hear that you shouldnt judge a book by its cover" his voice made her jump as she spun around, he was now standing in her kitchen..

"i think im kind of understanding that now... creamer?" she asked as she opened the fridge..

"yes please" he said as she grabbed it from the fridge.."so did john call you and tell you not to come by tonight" she almost spilled the coffee as she stirred it..

"why would you say that" she said quickly, she wanted to say she hadnt heard from him at all and what the hell was his deal,.. but she kept her mouth shut..

Steele looked her up and down.."the hello kitty pajamas kind of gave it away" he smirked and she felt herself get embarassed again..

"He didnt call" she said as she handed him the coffee, his eyes got kind of wide as he sipped it..She sipped her cup too..

"really? Then why arent you dressed to go out" he began as she sat at the kitchen table, he kept on standing..

"I just wasnt feeling well" she lied, maybe he didnt know what had happened..

"Not feeling well as in?" he asked a bit suspiciously..

"as in feeling tired and sick" she lied again, why was he asking her all these questions.."Im sure he will understand" she seriously doubted he would but hell maybe after last night he never wanted to see her again..

"well actually he went out of town, thats why i came by to tell you not to worry about tonight but apparently you werent worried" he said as he now took a seat across from her..

"Oh" she tried to seem unaffected but she wanted to know why he had gone out of town, did he do that alot? "where did he go" she kept sipping her drink as she spoke nonchalantly..

"ah he just had something to take care of, im more interested in why you werent planning on going out tonight, and dont say your sick, we both know that is a lie" he stared at her..

"why would i lie about being sick" she stood now as she fidgeted some..

"why are you being so nervous?" he continued to look at her..

"Im not i just dont like being interogated" she said defensively..

"You know John was giving off the same vibe as you, why is that, something happen last night?" he stood now..

"No, gosh are you always so nosey" she said with a nervous laugh..

"actually yeah i am" he looked serious.."what happened last night"

"what did you do last night" she tried to turn the tables on him..

"i ate, fucked, watched some tv then fucked again and then went to sleep" he said as he stared at her and she felt her face turn red..

She began to laugh.."seriously between you and John, you both need to tone it down a bit, way too much information"

"well i thought we were being honest here" he shrugged his shoulders.."what did you do last night"

"i came home and went to bed" she said as she walked out of the kitchen, he followed her..

"did you fuck him" he asked and she laughed louder now as she turned and faced him..

"Uh no... can you just stop saying that word" she laughed nervously..

"fuck?" he raise an eyebrow..

"oh my god nevermind" she rolled her eyes..

"so you didnt um...have sexual relations with him?" he said as he looked at her..

"No i didnt and if i did i dont really think it would be an appropriate conversation" she said sarcastically, he seemed to think for a minute.."what?"

"Nothing i mean after i saw him today i thought you two may of" he paused for a second.."engaged in some extra cirricular activites but then again" his voice trailed off..

"Im sorry what?" she said with confusion, she couldnt believe she was having this conversation with him..And what had John done to make him think that something had happened, was he acting differently?

"Hmmm now im perplexed" he said with a confused look..

"ok cause your confusing me" she said honestly..

"so you two didnt...huh... thats interesting" he said as he looked at her confused..

"what? Whats interesting?" she said with confusion..

"nothing just trying to figure somethings out" he began as he drank the rest of the coffee..

"did he say something" she swallowed hard as she sipped her coffee..

"wow will you look at the time, its getting late" he said quickly as she looked at him, he was hiding something.."i need to go i have umm plans"

"wait a second why are you so concerned" she began as he put his cup down on the coffee table..

"the coffee was great, i'll call you tomorrow" he walked to the door and she sighed, he wasnt going to let her know what was going on.."have a good night Natalie" he said as he left and she stood there completely confused as to what had just taken place...


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

John sat across from his brother at the smoke filled bar in AC. It had been a two hour drive and it gave him way too much time to think. They sat in relative silence sipping on two tall beers. The small talk about Michael's soon to be new family member and his work had finally phased out, now there was nothing left to talk about but the obvious and neither of them wanted to start the conversation, they never did..

"so i saw mom, she's good, she misses you" Mikey finally began as John felt the familiar sting of guilt creep up on him..

John hadnt seen his mom in years, they shared the occassion phone call over the holidays but nothing too personal just a quick hello and goodbye. He still had so much anger towards her for the way everything ended up, his bitterness knew no bounds..

"You should go see her John, she isnt getting any younger" Mikey said low as John looked at him..

"I didnt come here to talk about her ok" he said warningly..

"I know Johnny its just" Mikey began again, he never did understand how his brother could just forgive and forget, their childhood was a living hell because of their mother..

"Mikey dont ok, i just drove two hours out here" John said as he sipped on his beer and Mikey seemed to think for a minute and then he stood..

"You know i bet i could still kick your ass at a game of pool" Mikey said with a smile, it was obvious he was changing the subject and John was just fine with that, pool he could talk about..

"Oh yeah, its big talk from such a little guy" John grinned as Mikey rolled his eyes..

Mikey was now a very tall 6 foot man, still a bit smaller then John and John would never let him forget it..

"still the shit talker, why dont you put your money where your mouth is" Mikey grinned as john stood now too..

"Oh its so on brother" he grinned as they both headed to the table..

Natalie tossed and turned in the bed as her dreams took over..

_She was back at Johns place but this time there was candles lit up everywhere and John was no where to be seen as she walked around staring at the small flames around her.._

"Hello...John?" she called out as she walked through the empty apartment..The overwhelming smell of candles filled her nostrils as she continued to walk, stopping at a door, she could hear someone moving behind it.."Hello" her voice came out as a whisper as she pushed on the door and it opened slightly and her eyes got wide as she looked at him.

He was dressed in a simple pair of jeans, shirtless and looking absolutely inviting as he grinned and swayed his way over to her.."I knew you'd come for me" he grinned as she felt her heart race, her eyes now locking in on the room before her, it wasnt really a room at all, more like an extension of the club he owned.."dont be scared natalie, you want this, you want me to control you" he rasped as his hand carressed her face.."tell me...tell me you want me"

"I...I.." she couldnt find the words as she looked at him, a loud buzzing caught her attention as she stood there, the buzzing then turned into ringing and the ringing got louder until she was being startled in her bed as she sat up, she was in her room, in her bed, the ringing continued as her heart raced. What the hell was happening to her? She finally glanced at her phone that was still ringing in the background..She glanced at the clock as well, nearly 1 am and it was Rex, she immediately answered..

"Rex?" she said with concern as she wiped her eyes with her free hand..

His voice was garbled as he spoke and she could barely understand him as she only heard one word at a time but the word that stood out was one she would never forget.."Barry", her heart began to race as images flashed through her head, ones that she would rather forget..

"Rex? Rex where are you" she had an urgency to her voice because she knew that the name barry only meant one thing and only one place, Atlantic City.

"The bastard hit me do you believe that!' his voice was clearer now as she jumped out of her bed and immediately began getting dressed..."that son of a bitch got his though" he laughed some as a male voice was heard behind him.."just wait a damn minute, im allowed one phone call!" Rex yelled angrily..

"Oh my god Rex were you arrested, where the hell are you" she was frantic now as she paced her bedroom..

"nat you gotta bail me out, you just gotta" he pleaded as the male voice was heard again.."hey buddy why dont you back the fuck up" Rex yelled..

"Rex!... just dont say anymore ok, just shut up and tell me where you are" she asked even though she was almost certain of where he was, but why he was there she had no idea but she was sure as hell going to find out..

"Back on the old stomping ground" he said and she let out a sigh, he was in AC, the one place she never wanted to go back to..

"Just behave ok, im on my way" she said as the phone abruptly hung up, she immediately raced for her shoes and her purse, apparently she was going to be driving two hours to AC.

John made his way into the rather large hotel he was staying in for he next day or two. He was glad to had seen his brother, it always seemed like too much time had passed but in reality it had only been a year.

It was the anniversary of their fathers death and this had become their thing, it was the one time they would get together and just be brothers. Mikey had beegged him of course to stay at his place but John knew better, Marcie hated him for never coming around and to be honest John never was one for family get togethers like that, hense why he had stayed single all these years. But tomorrow him and mikey would get together for their ritual breakfast at the local diner they use to frequent as children and then they would say their goodbyes and both would go back to their lives till next year when they got together again.

John never did get use to going back to AC every year but he did it for Mikey cause that was the only family he had and a brothers bond couldnt be broken. John looked around the high end room and then at the bottle in his hand, he quickly took a swig of it as he kicked off his shoes..

His mind was on what his brother had said, even though he tried not to think about his mother, it couldnt be helped especially now with so much alcohol in his system.. He hated the feelings it brought up inside him, it made him want to drink more to drown out his thoughts. He moved to the large bed and sat on the edge of it..

_"Good damn it johnny i told you to pick up your toys!" she yelled drunkingly as he sat up from the chair he was in and he looked at the entranceway of the kitchen as the unique sound of the garbage was opening and he shot up like a rocket and ran just i time to see his most favorited toy cars being thrown into the trash, but they werent just any toy cars, his father had given them to him.._

"Mom, NO!" he yelled angrily as she spun and looked at him, her hair a mess and tangled, her eyes bloodshot as she glared at him..

"dont you talk to me in that tone, who the hell do you think you are" she yelled at him, he was only 10 years old but he felt so much older, his blood began to boil as he stalked his way over to the garbage to retrieve his things.."Im talking to you" she snapped at him as she yanked him by his arm..His blue eyes glared at her as anger filled his small body.."get that look off your face" she said through gritted teeth but he remained still, staring at her with all the hate he could muster and then it happened, her hand came down on his cheek, slapping him and stinging his flesh but he didnt cry, he didnt budge, he only reached into the garbage and pulled out the toy cars as he glared at her.."go in your room, NOW!" she yelled, he wanted to hit her, he wanted to make her go away, hell he wanted to run away himself, he hated her, he hated this life..

"Johnny" a small voice snapped him from his thoughts as he spun to see Mikey standing there, he looked scared and was about to cry..

"why arent you in bed, your suppose to be in bed" his mother yelled and Johnny knew it was only a matter of time before she hit Mikey as well, but mikey was different then him, he wouldnt be able to take it and Johnny was going to make sure she never laid a hand on him.. She spun for Mikey, her legs wobbily as she walked and then Johnny ran past her, standing in Mikeys way as his protector..

"dont you touch him" Johnny said in the most serious voice he could muster and she looked at him with shock and something else, fear maybe.. She looked at him as he stood his ground, his eyes held a threat, even at the small age of 10. He balled up his small fists as her eyes glanced at them and she shut up, for once she actually shut up and then he turned with Mikey and went into the room..

Natalie arrived in AC a half hour early, its amazing the motivation a person can have under certain circumstances, she was worried to death about Rex, so much so that her anxiety about coming back to AC seemed to of been pushed back far into her mind.

She couldnt believe he had gone back there, why had he and what the hell did Barry have to do with it! She hoped she wouldnt have to see him cause she was sure if she did then it would most likely be both her and Rex in jail and she was sure that her Uncle would absolutely have a fit but the thought of Barry made her sick, it had been years since she saw him and even more years since she had thought of him, now she was forced to do both..

His name was Barry Andrews, a stocky five foot seven from what she remembered, hsi hair thinning and always seemed unwashed, he wore polester suits that made her think of a used car salesman, he smelt of old cigarettes, cologne and whiskey, a putrid combination for anyone..

He was a loser, a conartist and at one time was her mother Roxy's boyfriend, not that he was a good boyfriend by any means, he was as rotten as they came. He treated her mother with no respect and he took from them all constantly, especially when it came to money. He had helped to push her mother down the dark path she had gotten on, drug addicted and broke, god how she hated that man with a vengence..

She had just assumed over the years he had overdosed or drank himself to death, it was better then thinking he was still out there hurting some unsuspecting woman but no, he apparently was alive and well, and now Rex was locked up because of him. She couldnt help but smile a bit at the thought of Rex's words, "oh he got what was coming to him", she hoped that Rex laid him out but good even though she knew it was wrong to think that way with her being an officer of the law now, but this man didnt deserve shit, and Rex as right he deserved what ever happened to him..

Driving through the old neighborhood she was immediately hit with memories, how she could wait to get out of this place when she was younger, how she had dreampt of a normal life which they eventually got but at what price? The death of their mother, this was all too bittersweet..

It was nearly 2:30 am as she pulled in front of the AC Police Department and the streets were basically empty except for the few stragglers leaving the bars, she wondered if Barry was still there, she wondered if she could contain herself when she finally saw him again but she couldnt think about that, she was a cop now and she had to think like one, she quickly parked and headed inside..

The AC police department was bigger then the one in Lanview and it looked different then she rememebered, sadly she had spent alot of her teenage years in there for petty things such as shop lifting.. She quickly made her way to the front desk in the lobby, the woman who sat there looked half asleep as she glanced up through large frames on her glasses..

"what can i do for you" she said with disinterest as Natalie held back the urge to give this woman a piece of her mind, she instead pulled out her badge and flashed it to the woman..

"I need to see someone in lock up" she said in her most professional voice..

"round the corner and to the left" the woman dismissed her and natalie quickly walked past her, damn the mood in here was cold, she kept walking until she hit another desk, this one was in front of a metal detector and a young officer sat there, he immediately perked up as he looked at her..

"what can i help you with Miss" he smiled big, apparently enjoying the view in front of him..

"Im looking for someone who was brought in a few hours ago, his name is Rex Balsam" she said as she showed him her badge, he looked at it for a second..

"Long way from Lanview Officer" he smiled.."what do you want with the little punk" he grinned..

"he's my brother and i would like to see him" she said dryly as he smiled nervously now.

"this way" he said as he began to walk her down a long corridor.."he has quite a mouth on him you know" he began and she sighed, she wasnt even about to defend him at the moment..

John woke with a jump as his hand knocked into the dresser beside the bed, making the bottle fall to the ground with a crash as he looked around disoriented for a moment, he ran his hand through his hair as he remembered where he was, he glanced at the clock besides his bed, it was nearly 8 am, he couldnt believe he had slept so long, he never slept that long..

His phone began to ring almost immediately and the sound went piercing through his ears as he quickly answered..

"Yeah?" he said in a groggy voice..

"man you sound like shit johnny" Mikey laughed as John began to get up out of the bed..

"and you sound too wired" he said sarcastically..

"yeah well apparently you kept on drinking" Mikey said dryly.."but enough about that im starving and marcie already left for work and i have to be at the hospital in a few hours"

"ah you got our hall pass, good for you" John said sarcastically as he smiled..

"Oh please i do what i want" Mikey said quickly.."Just dont um tell Marcie that" he added and John laughed now, and loud, Mikey laughed too.."But seriously im starving"

"alright alright...shit just give me some time to take a shower" John said as he ran his hand through his hair..

"Ok, half hour at Lucky's Diner " Mikey said as he hung up, he sounded like a kid on christmas morning, John couldnt help but shake his head as he tossed his phone on the bed, he really had missed his brother, he had missed him alot.

Natalie looked at Rex as they made their way outside of the station. She had been there for hours trying to get him out and as luck would have it the deputy sheriff just happened to be a guy she had gone to school with in AC, his name was Jeff Thompson and after much reminicising on his part he had finally agreed to let Rex off with a warning but only after natalie had agreed to go out with him one night if they ever ended up in the same town again, she agreed knowing full well that once her and rex left this god awful place that she was definitely never coming back..

They walked in relative silence as she got to her car..Rex finally spoke.."Your mad, huh?"

Natalie looked at him as they stopped at her car.."mad? What the hell were you thinking?" she snapped, finally allowing her anger to come out, she had been holding it in for hours and rex knew that, she had been way too calm for his liking in the station..

"Ok before you totally freak out on me Nat let me explain" he said with a nervous smile..

"this isnt funny Rex, do you understand what would of happened if Uncle Bo found out, not to mention Mom and Dad" she said with a heavy breath..

"yeah well he deserved it that son of a bitch" Rex snapped..

"what the hell were you doing here anyways" she said with an exhausted sigh..

"its a long story but i swear Nat" rex began as she rolled her eyes..

"Just get in the car rex" she said as she walked away from him...He seem to think for a minute as he stood there and she got over to the drivers side door..

"I guess right now wouldnt be a good time to say that im hungry" he said low as he cast his eyes down..

"Car...now rex" she snapped at him as he hung his head down like a scorned kid and got inside..

John watched as his brother ate a heaping mouthful of chocolate chip pancakes, he couldnt help but shake his head, even with Mikey now being 29 years old he still resembled the small child from back in the day, John continued to sip his coffee as Mikey finally looked at him, chocolate on his lips.."what?" he said with a mouthful of food..

"Nutin" John said with a shake of his head...

"You know you should really eat, remember what dad use to say" Mikey began as he continued to eat.."there are those less fortunate" mikey said..

"Yeah" John said as he put a piece of egg in his mouth and chewed it slowly, his dad was never one to waste food, he had even had John and Mikey go out with him to feed the homeless, it really was a sobering moment for two young boys...

"Hows the business going" Mikey said as he ate..

"it's good" John said nonchalantly, Mikey had no idea what John did with his spare time, he did however know about the homeless shelter he ran with Steele and as far as he was concerned that was all John did..

"You know we could do this more often, i mean more than just one time a year" Mikey began as he finally wiped his mouth.."it would be nice to um have you around" he said low..

"I dont think Marcie would agree too much with that" John said a bit sarcastically..

"she doesnt hate you john, she just doesnt know you" Mikey said honestly and that was an understatement because no one knew John, hell half of the time he didnt know if he knew himself.."when are you gonna settle down"

John took another bite of food.."you know you ask too many questions"

"I mean come on John your not getting any younger, lets face it were becoming old men" Mikey grinned..

"speak for yourself old timer" John grinned...

"I saw Cait the other day" Mikey said as he sipped his drink and john stiffened in his chair some.."she's doing good, she's got two kids now" Mikey said low.."she asked about you"

"Im happy for her" John dryly said as he dropped his fork on the plate and Mikey looked at him..

"come on John when was the last time you were in a relationship" Mikey began as John sighed...

"what is this a million questions...shit" John said with a heavy breath..

He didnt like talking about Cait, hell he didnt like talking about his past, what was done was done, there was no need dragging it up...

"Im just saying" Mikey began..

"well dont ok" John said as he stood abruptly now as mikey looked at him.."I gotta use the bathroom" he finished as he walked away, leaving his brother sitting there..

Natalie looked at Rex as she pulled up to a small diner, he looked at her with a huge grin.."Your the best" he said with a cheesy smile..

Natalie sighed.."Lets just eat fast ok, i gotta get back on the road"

"and get my car out of the inpound" Rex interjected as she looked at him and rolled her eyes, damn it she couldnt wait to get out of this god forsaken town..

John got into the small bathroom and locked the door, he actually felt like he may have an anxiety attack and he hadnt actually had one of those in years, he laughed as he thought about what his therapist would say at this moment, he looked at himself in the mirror as his mind began to wander..

_It was a warm summer night, he was 18 years old and fresh out of high school, the alcohol had been flowing freely that night and he was feeling good for once, soon he would be in the military and far away from this town.. The only thing that made him want to reconsider was sitting right next to him, her blonde hair blowing slightly in the wind.._

"what?" she said with a shy smile as he looked at her..

Her name was Caitlyn Fitzgerald and as of the last six months they were offically an item. She came from a very wealthy family, her father practically ran this town, he was the Assistant DA and he knew John all too well mainly from the numerous run ins he had with him, none of them good, needless to say she had been forbidden to even see John, he was a loser, the fucked up son of a well known and respected police officer who was taken too soon..She was in fact too good for him..But that didnt stop her from falling for him and well him for her..

"I got a letter from Princeton" she finally said with a nervous smile..

"oh yeah?" he tried to hide his emotions but he knew what it meant, it was the inevitable, she would leave and for her own good.."Im sure your dad is thrilled" he said dryly..

"John this is a good thing" she smiled as she went to touch him and he flinched some, he didnt like being touched, it made him feel too much and he didnt like feeling anything.."I was thinking that when you get to go on leave" she began as he stood now and she looked at him..

"that what? We will somehow make this work" he said a bit sarcastically and now she stood too..

"John dont do this ok, we talked about this" she said low..

"yeah well, i changed my mind" he said as he turned from her..

"what?" her voice cracked with emotion..."dont say that" she said with sadness as she put her hand on his shoulder and for a second he just let himself feel the softness of her hand but that quickly passed as he stepped from her.."I dont have to go" she finally spoke..

"what? Of course you do, this is your dream" he said as he spun and looked at her..

"my dream is just to be with you John" she said with tears..

"No your dream is to go to school and become a teacher like you have planned" he said a bit loud now..

"what and just end us, we dont have to end it this way John" she said with tears in her eyes..He didnt speak, he just looked at her.."John i love...i love"

"Cait, dont" he said in a cold tone..."your going to school and that is final" he turned from her, he wanted to leave, he wanted to leave right now..

"dont push me away" she pleaded with him..

"dont you see Cait, im not good for you, ive never been good for you" he said as he spun and looked at her, she had tears streaming down her face now..

"I know you dont mean that" she swallowed hard..

"its over cait" he forced the words out, he had to before she wasted another minute on him and it would be a waste..

"No...stop it" she cried out now as she grabbed hold of his arms and gripped him tight.."its not over!" she yelled as her lips crashed into his and for a second he resisted and then he took over her mouth in a passionate kiss that quickly had them falling to the ground, his weight pushed against her hard as he shoved one of his legs between hers, his hand came up and grabbed her breast and just like that she pushed on his chest as their mouths broke apart..

She had fear in her eyes as he looked at her and he knew why, she was a virgin and for months now they had gotten only so far, she always stopped them but tonight was different, he had alot of alcohol in him, alot of anger as well, he kissed her again aggressively, his body taking over his mind..

"John..stop" she pushed on him again as she breathed hard..

"why? You want this as much as i do and your leaving, im leaving" he said a bit breathless as he stayed on top of her..

"Not like this" she said with heavy breaths and he kissed her again.."stop" she yelled out again but this time she dug her hands in his neck, cutting his flesh as she pushed him off of her.."Jesus John!" she snapped at him as she backed up from him and he sat there in the sand, his hand on his neck as he looked at her..

He quickly got up, so did she.."i gotta go" he said as he turned from her..

"John wait" she called out as he continued walking, she ran up to him, grabbing his arm and he spun around, grabbing both of hers.. She looked scared to death as he looked at her, his heart pounding heavily in his chest.."Your hurting me" she began to cry but he didnt let go of her arms.."Please let go John,...please" she cried, he did finally as he backed up from her..

"You need to leave right now" he said not trusting himself anymore and she must of seen it to cause the last thing he saw was her blonde hair running past him as he stood there, completely and totally alone, the way he deserved to be..

John splashed water on his face in the bathroom, he grabbed a paper towel and dried his face as he stared at himself, that was only the beginning of the monster that he had become..Damn it he hated this fucking town, he quickly went to the door and spun it open and headed back down the hall, turning a corner he literally bumped into someone who was mumbling to themselves, a pair of car keys fell on the ground and they both reached down at the same time to get them..

"sorry" she said as he looked into a pair of blue eyes, a mutual shared looked of shock crossed their faces..

"John?"

"Natalie?"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Rex had made his way into a diner like a child, he was hyped up and acting a fool, she still had so much to ask him, so many unanswered questions but she would leave that for later, right now they would eat. He was out of harms way and that was all that mattered at the present time..

"Ohhhhh I want pancakes or eggs, maybe both, I wonder if they have french toast" Rex said with a childish grin as they made their way over to a table, she couldnt help but smile a little, Rex had that affect on her..

"Just order something Rex, i gotta use the bathroom" she said as she walked from him and he stuck his face into the menu.

Natalie made her way towards the hallway that lead to the bathrooms, last night events finally weighing their toll on her, she was exhausted, she turned the corner and immediately bumped into someone as her keys dropped to the ground..

"sorry" she said with embarassment as she reached down to grab her keys, another hand joined her and she glanced up now only to see a pair of blue eyes that she honestly wasnt expecting to see and definitely not in AC.."John?" she said with shock..

"Natalie?" he said with a puzzled look..

Her inital reaction of shock quickly turned to one of anger.."are you following me" she said angrily, she hadnt heard a word from him since that day in his apartment and now he was following her around like a damn stalker!

"following you? I should ask you the same thing" he said as they both stood and stared at each other..

"Oh i am definitely not following you" she said defensively, it wasnt until then that she had realized how much anger she was holding against him, anger that wasnt truly founded but anger still.."why are you here" she snapped as her heart began to race, her brother was there, she definitely didnt want him asking her questions..

"Im not in the mood" he said a bit angrily as he began to walk past her, she was definitely the last person he was expecting to see right about now and well he wasnt about to stand here and explain himself to her of all people..

"You know stalking is a crime" she snapped as he stopped and looked at her, she took in the view of him, he looked tired and worn out, she ignored the tugging in her belly, before he could answer her a man walked up, he looked like John, sort of that is. He had short brown hair, a lean build, clean shavened face and those eyes..

"Geez John i thought you got lost in there" Mikey said with a laugh and then he promply shut up noticing the red head who was staring hard at his brother..

Natalie looked at the guy then at John, apparently they knew each other, confusion filled her..

"Im fine Mikey" John said as he stood taller.."Natalie this is my brother Mike" he said and then the embarassment hit her as her eyes got wide..

"Oh you two know each other" Mikey said with a bit of shock..

"Brother?" Natalie said low, her voice cracking nervously..

"yeah im visiting him" John said dryly as he stared at her..

"Nice to meet you" Mikey said as he outstretched his hand towards her..

"Same here" she swallowed hard but kept her eyes on John who was staring blankly, she wanted to find a rock to hide under right about now, how freaking embarassing, she had accused him of stalking her and he here was with his brother!

"do you two work together?" Mikey asked with interest, this was the first time he had met any of his brothers friends and this one happened to be female not to mention drop dead gorgeous..

"Im sorry what" Natalie said nervously..

"You could say that" John interjected quickly as him and Natalie stared at one another..

"Ok well I will just leave you to it then" Mikey said uncomfortably as he quickly walked into the bathroom as Natalie began to fidget with her hands, she honestly didnt know what to say..

"so you were saying?" John raised an eyebrow at her, he too was wondering why she was back in her home town..He enjoyed the look of panic in her eyes as she looked at him..

"I um...I" she began as she swallowed hard..

"Nat coffee or tea" rex called out and she spun around just in time to see him coming over, his eyes wide as he looked at her and John.."everything ok here?" he said protectively as he looked John up and down, it nearly made john laugh at this kid, was he trying to size him up..

"You must be Rex, Im John a friend of your sister" John said as he outstretched his hand and Natalie felt her heart race more, so apparently he knew this was her brother, that was just great!

Rex shook his hand cautiously as he looked at this guy then at his sister.." a friend huh?" Rex said with suspicion and Natalie knew he was about to interogate this guy..

"Oh will you look at that our food is coming" Natalie said quickly as she walked past John and looked at Rex.."come on rex... nice seeing you john" she said as she walked over to their table, Rex on her heel..

"and what the hell was that about" Rex said as Natalie quickly took a seat and grabbed the hot coffee that was placed in front of her..

"Hmm?" she tried to play dumb as she sipped her coffee..

"Oh no no no, your not getting off that easy, who the heck is he and since when do you have friends" Rex said suspiciously..

Natalie rolled her eyes.."for your information Rex i do have friends.. Geez" she said sarcastically..

"No you dont" he said quickly as he looked back at John who was staring at natalie, she could feel it to even though she didnt dare look in his direction.."what arent you telling me" he looked back at his sister..

"God rex just eat your food we have a long drive ahead of us" she said quickly..

John stared at her as she sat at the table, purposely avoiding anymore eye contact with him.."so you want to tell me what i walked in on?" his brother made him turn as he looked at him..

"what?" John said nonchalantly..

"Oh dont play dumb now, who the heck is she and how do you know her and most importantly why didnt you tell me you had a new lady friend" Mikey said with a big cheesy smile, now it was Johns turn to get embarassed..

"Your crazy Bro" he shook his head.."and i have alot of lady friends as you would put it" he said sarcastically..

"one that just happens to be a smoking red head" Mikey grinned..

"i dont think Marcie would like hearing you say that" John smirked as Mikey spun around nervously as if Marcie was standing behind him, he looked back at John..

"man dont do that, shit you almost gave me a heart attack" Mikey said with heavy breathing..

"hey your the one fantasizing over her not me" John said as he began walking back to their table..

"what i wasnt" Mikey said defensively as John cracked a smile.."Your an idiot" he said as he nudged his brother and they both sat down across the diner from Natalie and her brother..

"so your really not going to tell me" Rex said as he looked at his sister..

"tell you what Rex, he is just a friend actually not even that, he is merely an acquantance" she said quickly as her eyes were diverted in his direction, he was talking to his brother, god she couldnt get over the resemblence and now she had a million questions, starting with why he had rushed out of town, what had happened with his brother?

"I call bullshit on that" Rex said a bit loud and John looked at them..

"Rex could you please keep your voice down" she said with embarassment as she cast her eyes back at the plate of food in front of her..

"I mean if you dont want to tell me then im sure Mr. Macho man over there would, what the hell is his deal anyway i mean he was looking me up and down" Rex began as he shot a look at John..

"Oh my god please rex just stop" she felt her face becoming redder by the second..

"so just a friend huh?" Mikey grinned as he looked at John who was staring at Natalie..

"i swear Mikey you dont get out enough" John rolled his eyes as he looked at his brother..

"You like her" Mikey grinned..

"what? Now i know your delusional" John said sarcastically..

"Oh my god i never thought i would see the day when my big brother got a crush" Mikey grinned and John drank his coffee quickly..

"a crush? What are you like two years old" John said with a roll of his eyes..

"I mean i dont blame you she is H.O.T" Mikey grinned big as he smiled in her direction..

"shouldnt you be a little more concerned with the fact that your having a child soon" John said quickly..

"Im allowed to look ok" Mikey said nervously..

"and again i dont think that Marcie would like you drooling over some chick" John said dryly..

"wow thats a low blow" Mikey said as he looked down..

"Just finish up your food so we can get the hell out of here" John said quickly, his voice growing annoyed..

"so tell me, where did you meet this acquantance of yours" Rex said sarcastically.."he doesnt look like a pig"

Natalie rolled her eyes.."You know i hate it when you call us that, were police officers"

"You said tomatoe, i say tomata" he shrugged his shoulders at her.."so tell me who is he?"

"No one rex, he is no one" she said nervously, wanting this conversation to end now..

"then why are you being so secretive" he smirked some..

"Im not geez, i thought you were starving your food is getting cold" she said with annoyance..

"i could say the same for you" he glanced at her uneaten plate.."who is he?"

Natalie sighed heavily.."he is just a witness in a case im working on" she finally spit out..

Rex's eyes got wide.."oh now this is interesting, mingling with the civilians huh?"

"Im not mingling with anyone" she rolled her eyes and put a fork full of food in her mouth..

"so have you taken her out on a date yet?" Mikey asked as John blinked at him with surprise..

"I dont date Mikey" he said sarcastically..

"god this must be huge, i mean i have never seen you so distracted" Mikey grinned big as he played with the remainder of the food on his plate..

"the only thing distracting me is you playing with your food, i dont have all day Mikey" he said with annoyance..

"Do you know her from Lanview?" Mikey continued his questioning..

"wow your just not gonna quit are you?" John rolled his eyes.."yes brother i know her from Lanview, she's just some cop, happy now?" he said sarcastically..

"A cop?" Mikey said with wide inquizative eyes.."what are you doing with a cop, are you in some kind of trouble" he had concern in his voice..

"Im not in trouble Mikey" John said with a roll of his eyes, it was just like his brother to jump to conclusions..

"is she involved with the shelter?" Mikey continued..

"yeah something like that" John lied..

"Oh man this is getting juicy, i want details" Mikey grinned again..

"I read they opened a new burn ward at the hospital" John began as he tried to change the subject..

"Yeah they did, its gonna be awesome man you should really come by to see it" Mikey said with a smile.."Hey...wait, your not changing the subject" he said quickly...

"i already did, too late...now about that burn ward" John said quickly as Mikey huffed in a defeated tone..

"what case is he involved in" Rex asked with curiosity..

"Now you know i cant tell you that rex" she said quickly..

"Ok fine, so what is going on between you two?" he asked and she continued to eat, ignoring his questions.."and why is he in AC, is he from here?" she ate some more, she honestly didnt know why he was in AC besides seeing his brother, she knew nothing about him which was frustrating..

"actually since we are on the subject of AC, why dont you tell me why you are here since I did just bail your ass out of jail" she turned the tables on him..

He glanced down at his food and now it was him who took a big bite of his food..She stared at him hard.."Ok ok...i kind of owed someone money" he began as she sucked in a deep breath..."its not what you think, i kind of borrowed some funds"

"Rex come on i told you about doing that, one of these days your gonna end up" she let her voice trail off, she didnt want to think about what could happen to rex, she would be beside herself if anything happened to him..

"Im fine ok" he said in an apologetic voice..

"How did you come across Barry?" she asked as she tried to keep herself distracted from the man sitting across the room, the one who now seemed to be in a heated conversation with his brother..

"Well he was apparently working for Little Nicki who was working for Fat Joe" he began as natalie looked at him and shook her head..

"do I even want to know what these guys are up to" it was more of a statement then a question..

"Not really" he said with a nervous smile.."anyways that is besides the point" he shrugged his shoulders, god how Natalie wished Rex would just get a normal job and stop messing around with these no good criminals.."so word on the street was that Fat Joe was looking to collect either that or attach some cinder blocks to my ankles" he said with a laugh..

"rex this isnt funny" she said seriously as the idea of Rex floating at the bottom of some canal came into her mind..

"I know, im sorry but these guys are always so dramatic" he shrugged his shoulders as natalie stared at him.."OK so while i am tied to a chair" he began as natalie gasped..

"what? Tied to a chair?" she said a bit loud and some of the customers looked in their direction, including John and his brother.."Rex do you understand how dangerous all of this is"

"well now i do" he said with a smirk..

"Your gonna give me a coronary i swear" she said honestly as her eyes darted to Johns and he smirked a little, she quickly looked away..

"You know it would probably help if you go over and talk to her" Mikey began as John looked at him..

"since your so interested why dont you go talk to her" John said sarcastically as Mikey turned red..

"so then after they threatened my life Barry came in" Rex continued as Natalie held in the breath she was holding..

"I dont think i want to know anymore" Natalie said with a shake of her head..

"Oh it gets better" Rex grinned..

"Oh i seriously dont think so" Natalie said dryly..

"at first i didnt know it was Barry, the dude has aged bad but he knew me and he enjoyed watching me squirm" rex said as his eyes got dark.."when it was finally just me and him I convinced him to untie me which by the way I should of gotten an award for my acting, who would of thought that he would be freaked out by thinking I was choking" he shrugged his shoulders..

"I always knew he was a low down dirty crook" Natalie said as anger filled her..

"oh you have no idea and when he mentioned about mom" he began as natalie felt her blood race..Rex saw it too.."I know I wanted to kill him Nat, I almost did"

"Maybe you should just go over there" Mikey began as John rolled his eyes..

"are you done eating yet" he said impatiently..

"Fine but this is far from over" Mikey said as he put down is fork and stood now, John had already pulled out his credit card as natalie watched them get ready to leave and argue over who was going to pay..

"anyways i knocked him out cold and when i called the pigs they arrested me, do you believe that!" rex said loud as he shook his head.."hello earth to Nat are you listening to what i am saying" Rex began as she quickly brought her attention back to him.."man what is it with you and that guy?"

"nothing" she said defensively.."did you pay back those other guys?"

"Pay them back? They were gonna kill me" rex said loudly as John looked over at them again and Rex lowered his voice now.."as long as i lay low"

"Rex those men are dangerous" she said with fear..

"It'll blow over, it always does" he said nonchalantly as a loud screeching of tires was heard in the parking lot and his eyes went to the window, Natalie looked out too as two large men got out of a silver car.."Or not" Rex said as he stood now and Natalie stood too..

"rex who is that" she said quickly as he looked at her..

"Umm Nat, i think we should go, like right now" he said quickly as he ran for the back door..

"shit!" Natalie said as she ran after him, John and his brother watched as John looked at the front door and the two men walking in..

"did they just eat and run?" Mikey said with amusement in his voice but John knew better, he knew who those guys were and if natalie and her brother were running then that meant they were in trouble..

"Im gonna have to take a rain check mikey" John said as he spun from his brother and headed to the door..

"a what? no... we have plans" Mikey protested but it was too late, his brother was already disappearing out the door..

Natalie felt her heart race as she ran down the alley besides the small diner.."Rex wait" she called out as he ran..."Im a cop ok, i can do something" she said and he stopped running now..

"They will kill you just for being a pig, err cop" he said with fear..

"Jesus Rex" she said as adrenaline raced through her, apparently they were being followed, she honestly didnt know where to go or what to do, she wanted to call her uncle in lanview and let him in on what was happening but she couldnt, Rex was already walking on thin ice with him and the rest of the family..

"nat we have to go" Rex had an urgency in his voice..

"where Rex, shit they must know my car" she said as she looked around, before he could answer a black mustange pulled up a few feet away, at the opening of the alley, they both froze..

When the passenger side door flung open she was shocked to see John there, where the heck did he get this car?

"By the looks of those guys back there i would say you both should get in the car now" he said seriously as Natalie stood there..Rex was now running towards Johns car..

"nat, come on...Nat!" Rex yelled and she turned in time to see the backdoor of the diner open, she didnt think twice now as she ran to Johns car and hopped in and he quickly peeled out..


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

John drove like a bat out of hell as he turned down side streets and narrowly missed hitting pedestrians, Natalie held on for dear life as no one said a word, well atleast not yet.. John spun down another block and skidded into a nearby parking garage, his car stopping perfectly in a spot..

"Holy shit are you a race car driver?" rex said with a wide smile as John looked at Natalie who was white as a ghost and then at her brother who was beaming from ear to ear..

"why are those men after you" John asked her brother as natalie tried to regain her breathing, she had thought they were going to die in that car by the way he was driving..."You know what nevermind" John said as Rex smiled nervously..John looked at Natalie.."You ok?"

"I think i had about three heart attacks back there" she said honestly..

"this is so cool" Rex said with a smile as John gave him a warning glare..

"those guys mean business you know that right, what the hell are you doing messing around with them" John chastized him and Rex immediately shut up and looked down.."You do understand now that your involved, right?" John said angrily to natalie...

"Im not involved in anything" she snapped at him, why was he yelling at her..

"Oh yes you are sweetheart, they know your car and soon they will know who you are which is fucking perfect!" he snapped as he got out of the car, rex looked at her..

"he's a little high strung, huh?" Rex swallowed hard and natalie sighed as her car door got opened and she looked at John..

"come on, lets go" he said demandingly..

"Listen i didnt ask for you to rush in and rescue us" natalie began defensively..

"Oh so now you just have a death wish, huh" John snapped, she was so irritating at times!

"nat he has a point" Rex began as Natalie snapped her head around and glared at him.."or not" he said with a nervous smile as he got out of the car, Natalie finally got out too..

"Lets go" John said as he began walking and natalie sighed as her and Rex followed him, where the hell were they anyways, she had no idea.

There was an elevator at the end of the parking garage and he pushed the button as Natalie and Rex neared him..

As the doors opened John stepped inside and so did Natalie and Rex, he looked at Rex.."how much are you in for?" Rex kind of just blinked at him..."How much?" he said a bit louder now as the doors closed..

"I dont know, a hundred" Rex said nervously..."Grand" he finished and natalie thought she was going to die..

"what?" she snapped at Rex..."a hundred grand are you out of your fucking mind" she yelled..

"shit" John said low as he ran a hand through his hair..

"it was just a few games, i was up like forty grand Nat i swear, i thought i was gonna win it back" he began..

"You lost a hundred grand on a card game" she said in shock as she looked at him..

"natalie why dont you just calm down" John began..

"he's right Nat, your gonna blow a blood vessel in your forehead" Rex began..

"calm down? Calm the fuck down, you calm down!" she yelled at both of them.."thats it im screwed, my career is going to be over, im gonna be disowned" she began to panic..

"Your being a little dramatic" rex said as she snapped her head around and looked at him, her eyes were red with anger..

"natalie" John said lower this time as he touched her arm and she yanked it back from him..

"dont touch me" she snapped at him..

"hey i helped you" John said with increasing anger..

"No one asked for your help!" she snapped at him.."and you" she said as she looked at Rex.."how could you, do you not think?" she yelled as rex put his head down like a child scorned, the elevator finally stopped, she had no idea what floor they were on but the doors opened and John stepped out, it was a penthouse apartment and for a second she was blown away by the enormity of it..

"wow you live here" Rex said as he stepped in and looked around...

"sometimes" John said as he walked into the large kitchen that was open to the living room.. Natalie followed them, the place resembled a museum, works of art filled the walls, it was lavishly decorated with leather furniture, the sight was truly breathtaking.."drink?" he asked as he began to pour himself one..

"you got any vodka" rex began as natalie was still in awe, seeming to forget why they were there to begin with, he lived there? How? What the hell did he do for a living because surely running a dungeon didnt bring in this kind of money, this place made Lanfair look like a dump.

Natalie walked over to the large window overlooking the city, the view was out of this world, they were up so high, she could see the ocean, she had no words..

"this will make you feel better" John said as he walked next to her and held out a drink, she looked at it then at him..She finally took it..

"this place is awesome, do you have Xbox?" rex called out as he ran through the place like a kid on christmas morning..

"Rex!" natalie scolded him, she suddenly felt very embarassed as she stood there, John looking at her..

"what?" Rex said as he sipped his drink..

"its in the other room" John said as Rex grinned big and took off running, Natalie shook her head..."he's not a bad kid" he began as natalie walked from the window and stared at the 70 inch tv that filled the room.."i dont get to watch it much" John began as natalie sipped her drink..

"How do you afford all of this" she finally blurted out as he looked at her..

"thats kind of a personal question, dont you think" he said honestly as he walked past her and turned on the massive tv..Natalie didnt know what to say, she felt embarassed yet again, it was none of her business what he did.."But its not illegal if thats what you mean Officer" he looked at her and she quickly sipped her drink.."Im a business man Natalie, always have been"

"this place is" she began as he looked at her..

"a little over the top i know" he smirked a little.."want a tour"

"I was actually going to say quite beautiful" she said quickly as he looked at her..

"Nah its just somewhere to go when im in town which brings me to ask you why you are here, surely your not working as a crooked cop" he raised an eyebrow and she let out a small laugh..

"No actually i was bailing out rex" she said with a shake of her head..

"well then he is lucky to have a sister like you" he said as he walked past her..."you should lighten up a bit with him" he said as he walked back in the kitchen, she followed him..

"you said yourself he is involved with some pretty bad guys" she began as he looked at her and poured himself another drink..

"we all make mistakes" he shrugged his shoulders some..

"a hundred grand mistake" she quickly corrected him as he looked at her..

"well i mean if your going to make a mistake you might as well do it right" he smirked again as he took a sip.."come on let me show you the rest of the place" he said as he began walking, she considered telling him no but instead she followed him, he did however come to her rescue, the least she could do was let him show off his crib..

They walked to the doorway of where rex was sitting in a large chair and playing a video game, his eyes were glued to the massive tv in there, he looked in Johns direction and smiled.."man your place rocks!"

"yeah well im glad someone gets to play that thing, i never get around to it" John said as he walked to another door.."there's three other spare bedrooms, four bathrooms" he began as natalie was in awe of how big this place truly was..

"this place is ridiculously big" she said honestly as he stopped in front of another door..

"this is my special room" he winked and kept walking, she felt her heart race, his special room what the hell did that mean, then an image came into her head, like the one from her dream and she immediately began to turn red.."got something on your mind?" he asked as he snapped her from her indecent thoughts..

"no" she shook her head nervously as he stopped at another door and opened it.

"My office" he said as he stepped in and she stood in the doorway, it was equally as huge as the rest of the place, it had a full library, a black leather couch, a huge mahagony desk with a computer on it and a great big window and a door leading to a balcony overlooking the city, he opened the door and stepped out, she now walked into the office more as she watched him looked out into the city, she finally got up the courage to follow him as she stepped out, immediately she was hit with the sights and sounds of the city, it was absolutely beautiful.."its a good place to come and think" he said as he leaned over the railing and looked down, she made her way over to the railing and also peered down, holy shit it was a very long drop.."i have to say i was shocked to see you" he said as she stood there.."you just left the other night"

She suddenly felt uncomfortable as she stood there, he was standing next to her now and she held in a breath for a second..

"why did you leave" he asked and she honestly didnt know what to say.."i mean i know why you left" he began as she looked at him, god he looked amazing, she hadnt had time to fully take in the details of him, he was dressed in a tight vneck tshirt that left nothing to the imagination and a pair of jeans that clung to his body, damn he looked hot.."for a second i thought you were stalking me" he grinned..

"yeah well the feeling was mutual" she said with embarassment..

"except i was hoping you were" he slightly bit his bottom lip as he spoke and she swallowed hard as she stood there.."was that feeling mutual too?"..Before she could answer, his cell phone began to ring, he grabbed it quickly and put it to his ear.."Mcbain" he said with a slight annoyance to his tone and she took the opportunity to move across the balcony, god was it hot out or what?.."i may be out of town for a few days, something came up" he said as he stared at natalie and she quickly looked out into the city.."yeah you do that, oh and by the way natalie says Hi" he finished with a laugh as she felt her body tense, she knew who he was talking to, it was Steele.."Ok, just behave yourself" he laughed again and then he hung up as she kept staring out into the city.."so where were we" he began and she could feel him close, very close but she didnt dare move, his body heat was scorching her already hot body..

"How's Steele doing" she desperately tried to think of anything but the fact that he was standing right behind her...

"why? You miss him" he said a bit darkly..

"No" she laughed nervously as she stood there, not turning around..

"He's fine, he is always fine but enough about him" he began with a raspy voice.."why do you think we keep on running into each other" he spoke and she swallowed hard..

"small world" she swallowed the lump in her throat..

"or maybe there is something else" his voice was low and deep, it sent chills down her spine.."cold?" he asked with almost a purr like voice as his hand trailed up her arm..

"a little" she lied, hell she was burning up..

He moved her so she was looking at him and she tried to look anywhere else but at him.."why cant you look at me" he asked as his hand stayed on her arm, god it sent an electric jolt through her body and straight to her groin..

"I can look at you" she said as she looked at him quick..

"it's a shame you know" he walked to the railing again and looked out.."i think we could have alot of fun together" he said honestly..

"yeah well i should probably go" she began as her heart raced..

"what do you want natalie" he asked and she looked at him now, confused, he too turned and looked at her..

"Im sorry, what?" she said with a puzzled look..

"everyone wants something, what is it that you want" he said as he stared at her..

"I should really go, i have a long drive ahead of me" she said nervously, she went to turn from him but he reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her as she sucked in a deep breath..

"You should go or you want to go" he asked as he searched her eyes..

"I should go" she whispered as she looked at him..

"i was hoping you would say that" he finished as his lips crashed into hers in a smoldering kiss that she felt all the way down to her toes, god this man could kiss, unbelievably well too, she barely registered that he moved the glass from her hand and then she felt him pushing her back against the balcony, right now if she fell she wouldnt even mind, it would be one hell of a way to go but he pulled back from the kiss just as quick it started...He was panting slightly and she knew she was too.."Be my sub natalie and i swear you wont be let down" his words were hot, just as hot as him and if she wasnt thinking straight she may of just said yes but the voice in her head was screaming at her.."dont think about it, you over analyze everything, just say yes" he leaned his mouth to her neck and kissed it, sucked on it, licked it, oh my god she thought she had died and gone to heaven..

"I cant" she said breathless as he continued to kiss her..

"yes, yes you can...i want you, i need you" he said between licking her neck, her eyes felt like rolling in the back of her head, god why did he have to be so damn hot and yet so fucked up at the same time..

"i cant" she said breathless again..

"But you want to, you want me" he rasped in her ear.."I can give you so much more" he nipped at her ear as his leg pushed hard between hers, spreading them.."You do things to me, dont deny me" his voice was a plead, a beautiful plead and she was losing her will power by the second..

"i cant think when you do that" she said as she started to pant some..

His hand went to her chin as he nipped at her lip.."dont think" his tongue entered her mouth again, slowly this time.."Just feel" he groaned as he pulled back and looked at her..The sound of a throat clearing made them both look as Rex stood there with an awkward expression on his face..

"If this is a bad time" he said with an embarassed look..

Natalie took the opportunity to move away from John and over to Rex..."actually we have to go" she said quickly, she had to before she agreed to something that she knew absolutely nothing about..

John let out a sigh of frustration as he ran his hand through his hair...

"leave? Why we just got here" Rex whined like a child..

"rex were going" she said quickly and she looked at John.."thank you for um... for..." she didnt even know what else to say so she opted to just leave, she literally had to grab rex's arm as he stood there looking pitiful as ever..

"natalie" John finally called out, she kept walking as she dragged rex to the door who was complaining the entire time under his breath.."Natalie wait" he called out again and this time she did stop.."how are you going to get back to lanview" he finally said and she sighed, she hadnt thought that far..

"nat those guys are still out there looking for us" Rex began and she glared at him..

"No thanks to you" she snapped at rex..

"rex is right natalie, its not safe just to walk these streets" John began as she took a deep breath..

"I will call a cab" she said quickly, her heart still racing..

"your gonna take a cab all the way back to lanview" John said with amusement and now she looked at him..

"why not i can afford it" she said quickly as his face got like stone as he looked at her..

"nat" Rex began as she looked at him..

"enough Rex" she snapped at him angrily..

John groaned loud as he took out his phone and he dialed quickly, he looked very annoyed and well she was too.."I need a car" he began and she huffed..

"i could get my own car" she said quickly as he looked at her, actually he kind of glared at her..

" Ten minutes? ok..." he said as he hung up and walked in the kitchen..

"i dont know why we cant just stay a little bit longer" Rex continued to whine..

She ignored him and walked into the kitchen.."i could of gotten my own cab" she began as John looked at her..

"Your not taking a cab back natalie" he said a bit angrily and then he drank back a quick shot..

Natalie huffed and then spun around, god she just wanted to leave like right now..

"why dont you grab a game to bring with you rex" John began and Rex quickly scurried off to grab a game, natalie shook her head..

"You know you dont have to do that, he is not some kid that needs to be spoiled" she snapped..

"why dont you just lighten up and give it a rest ok" John said dryly as she looked at him, god he could piss her off like none other..

"Listen i didnt ask for any of this ok" she said bravely as he looked at her and then he was walking over to her quickly as she backed up..

"why do you try to piss me off, are you just trying to tempt me" he said as he stood in front of her..

"what?" she said in shock..

"you know i think your right about this not working" he finally said as he looked at her.. She honestly didnt know what to say as she stood there, was he for real.."i was wrong about you" he said and then walked across the room, she hated that for some reason his words hurt as she stood there.."i'll talk to Steel you can just work with him" he kept his back turned to her..

"But you said you would help me" she hated that her voice cracked as she stood there..

"yeah well i cant" he said as he kept his back to her, he sounded upset and well she was upset too..

"fine, whatever.." she spun from him and opened the door, she needed to get out of that apartment and away from him.."Rex lets go the car will be here soon" she yelled and then she walked out, she hated how she felt right now, she felt like crying, damn him!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

The drive back to lanview was a quiet one even though she knew rex had a million and one questions but thankfully the excitement of the night before had him sleeping like a baby for the majority of the drive home which was just what she needed cause she had her own dilemma going on right now, why did she feel so damn bad about walking away from him. Sure he was an amazing kisser, probably one hell of a lover, not to mention drop dead gorgeous but he had a flaw and a big one, one that she had to keep reminding herself about, she couldnt be his submissive, she wouldnt, it was insanely crazy and yet her mind was helplessly captivated by the idea now..

Apparently he wasnt capable of a normal relationship and she wasnt about to delve into some controlled BDSM relationship no matter how hot he was! But the idea alone of him, a pair of handcuffs, oh my the idea was exhillirating but she wasnt stupid either she knew from the little she read about the lifestyle that it was more than just a few slaps on the ass with rough sex, oh no it was much more, too much more..

Oddly enough she hadnt even thought about the incident that lead her to go back to AC, well that was until she saw the Welcome sign to Lanview, what if those men came looking for them there, what if they found her or Rex, or worse yet her family, worry began to consume her as she fidgeted in the car, surely her lack of sleep was playing a huge role in this and then she remembered the dollar amount, one hundred grand, she couldnt help but look over at Rex sleeping, how could he do this, how could he be so reckless, so stupid!

It was nearly noon by the time they got to lanview, her phone promply alerted her to a text message just as the driver pulled up to Rex's apartment, she nudged him as he began to wake up, rubbing his eyes as he looked disoriented for a moment..

"wake up sleepyhead" Natalie began as he looked around..

"wow were here already?" he began..

"Yea and i want you to promise me that you will lay low for a little bit ok" she said in that motherly tone he had been so use to, he playfully rolled his eyes at her.."Im serious Rex"

"ok ok i promise" he said as he held his fingers up in a boyscout manner, now she rolled her eyes..

"You never were a boy scout" she said sarcastically..

"Talk to you later Nat" he smiled as he kissed her cheek and began to get out.."oh and by the way you still owe me an explantation" he said with a smirk, his eye brows raised, she knew exactlly what he was talking about..

"see you later rex" she said quickly as she closed the door and cut him off from what he was saying, the driver looked at her at smiled as he began to drive, she still couldnt believe that John had someone drive her home and it wasnt a cabbie, they were in a very nice mercades, again it made her think what the fuck did this man do for a living? Suddenly she remembered the text message she had gotten a few seconds ago, for some odd reason she was hoping it was him but on further inspection she saw it wasnt..

Its Steele we need to talk, call me

She sighed when she read the message, what the heck did he want now, god this was all so frustrating, she decided on not calling him just yet, she would wait until tonight because right now she had to get some sleep, thankfully the call she had put into Bo earlier had given her some time, she had faked a cold to get the day off and well it worked..

Once in front of her apartment she thanked the driver as she got out, back to her drab boring life she thought as she walked towards the building, she was now without a car, her head hurt and she had a nagging in her belly, was it guilt over john, she tried to dismiss what she was feeling as she walked to her apartment. Turning the corner she realized she wasnt alone as Steele stood there, his massive frame leaning against the wall, his head turned as she walked towards him..

"You didnt call" he seemed almost mad as he stood there, she wasnt use to this tone from him..

"I just got in" she couldnt help the sarcastic tone that left her mouth..

"whatever we need to talk" he was being blunt and cold, it caught her off guard..

"something wrong?" she said with a hint of an attitude..

"i really dont think you want your neighbors to hear this" he said dryly and she rolled her eyes, damn it what was his deal today, she huffed as she opened the door and stepped in, he did too.."so theres a change in plans huh, thats great" he sounded pissed and for a second she was confused..

"a change?" she began and then the conversation her and John had before she left hit her with force, he was for real, he was tossing her off to Steele, suddenly anger filled her, damn it he could be such a child.."You know what just forget it" she said as she kicked off her shoes, this was becoming more then she bargained for and frankly she was too exhausted to fight with anyone..

"forget it? Listen sweetheart i do have a life and just because you have this pride issue when it comes to john" he began in a bitter tone..

"excuse me" she spun to face his massive form..

"hey you dont have a right to be pissed off right now, im the one who has to do this thing" he said angrily..

"first off" she began with anger..."i dont have a pride issue and secondly i dont need his help or yours ok, so consider yourself free to do whatever the hell you want"

"Oh thats cute, you think it is that easy huh... word has already gotten around about you, there aint no backing out now sweetheart, your in whether you like it or not and apparently i am too" he said angrily as he began to pace..

"well i changed my mind, so there" she snapped..

"Your not allowed to change your mind, dont you get it, your in this now, you cant back out" he snapped back at her, his voice rumbling through her apartment.."I told you not to get close to him, didnt i" he was so mad, it actually scared her..

"i didnt do anything" she yelled defensively..

"Of course you would see it like that" he said sarcastically as he shook his head and spun for the door..

"hey!" she called out..

"be ready by 9 pm sharp" he snapped and then he was leaving as he slammed the door and she stood there shocked and confused as to what the hell had just happened..

Two hours earlier..

_John watched as her car pulled out onto the street below, god she had gotten under his skin and not in a good way. It was like she was telling him one thing and then doing another, he honestly didnt know what to think, he wasnt use to this and he surely wasnt use to this feeling he had growing inside him, the feeling made him angry now as he stood on the balcony, he quickly grabbed his phone and dialed.._

"I need you to do something for me" he spoke to Steele as he answered..

"I wasnt expecting to hear from you so soon" Steele said with a puzzling tone..

"yeah well there has been another change in plans" John began as he took a deep breath..

"go on" Steele began in a tone that screamed he wasnt sure if he wanted to hear the rest of this plan..

"i need you to take over with her for a little bit" he finally said as he made his way back into the apartment that he very rarely got to be in..

"what? Why?" Steele said with confusion..

"cause a lesson needs to be learned" he began..

"and im the person to show her this lesson because.." Steele asked puzzlingly..

"are you gonna do this for me or not Steele!" he barked slightly..

"You know im going to i just dont understand why your doing this John, maybe its time just to declare defeat" Steele said honestly..

John laughed now and loud.."Seriously Steele when have you known me to back down from something i want"

"Yeah well she is different, i dont think your going to be able to persuade her to see your side" Steele sighed..

"no i wont but you will" he paced the livingroom of the large apartment..

"You know becoming obsessed about this girl is not going to fix anything" Steele said in a serious tone..

"why dont you let me worry about that and you just do what i ask of you" John said in a low voice..

"John as your friend im gonna admit im worried about you, ever since she came into the picture your being well stranger then usual" he said honestly..

"I never knew you to be majoring in psychology" John said dryly..

"John you know this is not what this is, im worried that your getting in too deep here" Steele said with concern.."she has made herself very clear that she has no interest in our extra cirricular activities"

"Im not askng you to analyze the situation, im asking for your help" John said bluntly..

"and you know im going to help but seriously john you have a ton of willing girls at the club who would be very happy to oblige, why her, why now" Steele began as John rolled his eyes..

"i dont know" he said low..."theres just something about her" he said honestly, this was maybe the most honest he had ever been but then again he never had anyone affect him the way she did, it was nerve racking to feel this way, completely and totally powerless over the situation and he never felt powerless over anything..

"Fine i will help" Steele said with a sigh, he could never let his friend down even knowing that this obsession he had with natalie could be the death of him, literally and figuartively.."You know this is a bad idea" Steele finally said low..

"probably one of the worst" John grinned some...

"alright then as long as we have that clear, what do you need me to do" Steele said in defeat..

John looked at the Welcome to Lanview sign up ahead as he drove, his mind had been haunted for the last two hours as he drove, Steele was right, he was obsessing over this girl and this was by far one of the worst ideas he had ever had. He wasnt use to rejection, actually the last time he had ever been rejected it was when he was 18 years old, and that was the last time. He was like a spoiled kid in that sense, he always got what he wanted and this situation wasnt any different, he wanted Natalie, he wanted her in a bad way, so much so that he felt like a spoiled child being denied his favorite toy. He would have her and on his terms, that much he was sure of..

Natalie was completely beside herself as she tried to sleep but her mind was elsewhere, it was on John and on Rex, actually this whole situation and now Steele was involved again, what the hell had she done? This was all way too much to ingest and so instead of trying to force herself to sleep she finally got up and decided on a shower..

Being in the shower she tried to let the warm water relax her body but it was futile, her mind was on him as much as she wished it hadnt been. She could still feel his lips on her skin, his tongue dancing across her neck, god why did he have to be such a damn freak, why couldnt he be normal, normal she could deal with but not this and then the idea hit her, maybe he could be normal, maybe he would outgrow this phase in his life, she laughed at the idea, he was a freak, a hot freak but a freak no less, he wasnt about to change and she definitely wasnt about to let some guy control her.

Women had fought years of oppression to be equals, the idea was ludicris, why throw away all the hard work that had finally been done over the years to have women stand next to a man as their equal only to bow at their feet and try and please them..

The idea of pleasing John in itself was where the problem lied cause a huge part of her wanted to, there was something about him, something dark and forbidden but there was also a sadness behind his eyes, something that drew her to him, she wanted to fix him, he seemed so broken and when he was ranting about her eating preferences or yelling at her over something silly, well he seemed normal-ish..

Why couldnt she just have a normal conversation with him, why did it have to be his way or the highway, that is what infuriated her the most, if he didnt get his way he acted like an immature child. She had kissed him today and damn it she wanted to do it again, hell she had wanted to throw all caution to the wind and let him fuck her on the balcony if he hadnt said those three little words that freaked her out so much, "be my sub", who asks those kinds of questions anyway? He wasnt looking for a normal relationship with her, no he wanted some fetish driven freak show and could she actually do that, could she push past all her reservations just to be with a man, a man who was clearly fucked up. Why was he so fucked up, what had happened to him to make him go down this path, that is what drove her crazy, the not knowing cause maybe if she knew she could help him?

She began to get ready for tonight, her outfit for this evening was a plaid skirt with a white button down blouse, it resembled a school girl outfit and she literally laughed as she looked at herself in the mirror, this was so not like her, actually it went against everything she believed in..Maybe she could get Steele to tell her more about John, maybe she could get him to open up and she could finally see what makes him tick?

The sound of her doorbell ringing alerted her as her heart began to race, he was early and she wasnt quite ready yet, she glanced at her clock, and then walked to the door, opening it without looking first but much to her surprise it wasnt Steele at all but a very much shocked looking Cris, she silently chastized herself for not calling him back, crap!

"wow i take it your feeling better" he said with wide eyes and she immediately began to blush at her own appearance, she tried to play it off calmly..

"Yeah i um, im actually heading out" she said nervously as he looked at her up and down, the desire very apparent in his eyes..

"Dressed like that?" he said with a puzzled look..

She rolled her eyes now and turned from him, immediately buttoning up another button on her top so that she didnt look so, well revealing.."I need to go to the store" she kept her back to him as she walked across the room..

"Oh" the shock was still in his voice as he walked in.."I brought some um, chicken soup" he said nervously.."Your uncle said you were coming down with the flu" he continued and now she turned and smiled nervously..

"apparently it turned out to be a 24 hour thing" she said quickly as she grabbed the bag from him.."thanks for the food" she was trying to usher him outside.."smells great" she said nervously as she looked in the bag..

"Ok um" he said awkwardly as he looked at her..

"what?" she said quickly...

"nothing i just, im a little shocked to see you dressed so umm...umm" he couldnt finish his sentence as his voice cracked..

"i dont wear enough skirts" she said quickly as she stood there..He didnt look like he was buying it at all..

"well you should definitely wear them more often" another voice joined them and she frooze when she saw Steele grinning as he stood at the door, Cris immediately turned and faced him, a look of shock on his face.."Cris, right?" Steele said as he put his hand out to the shocked looking guy..

"Steele, right?" Cris said as he shook the large mans hand apprehensively..They seem to just stare at each other for a second, natalie wanted to die, this was so not good not to mention completely uncomfortable..

"Cris brought some soup cause i wasnt feeling well" she said quickly as she held the bag, her hands were shaking and Steele smiled as he walked past Cris and over to natalie..

"well isnt that nice of you Cris, and its chicken soup my favorite" Steele grinned as Cris looked at them both with wide eyes.."we appreciate it" Steele said as he put an arm around natalie and she let out a nervous laugh..

"well enjoy it" Cris said with a look of hurt crossing his features, Natalie hated knowing that she had made him feel that way.."I should go" he said as he looked at Natalie..

"Yeah you probably should" Steele pulled Natalie closer to him and smiled wickedly at Cris..

"see you at work" Cris said as he spun for the door and walked into the hallway..

"Cris wait" natalie said as she couldnt help herself, she moved from Steele and met Cris in the hall, he looked like a broken puppy.."thanks for bringing the soup" she said low, she honestly felt bad, Cris had been nothing but a good friend to her and sadly she couldnt say the same about herself..

"No its fine, i mean i just.." Cris said as he stared at his own hands, awkward silence fell for a minute...

"Cris" she said low as he looked at her for a second..

"I should go, i have plans... you um, feel better Natalie" he said as he turned from her and walked down the hall as she stood there watching him turn the corner, now she felt like shit..

"Oh now that was sweet" Steele said from behind her and she spun around and looked at him..

"he didnt deserve that, he's a good guy" she said honestly, her voice raised some..

Steele rolled his big eyes.."He's a big boy im sure he can take care of himself, and im starved you got a spoon" he grinned..

Natalie walked past him and back into the apartment.."you know he is the only friend i have" she said defensively..

"and what am i chop liver" Steele said as he followed her in, she didnt answer him as she stood there with her hands crossed over her chest.."Oh come on your the one who has been dragging the poor guy around for how long now?"

"I have not been dragging him around" she said defensively.."were friends"

"yeah ok except he wants in your panties" Steele said sarcastically..

"No he doesnt" she snapped even though she knew it was a lie, had she been dragging him along, was she as much to blame in this situation as Steele, god she felt like shit...

"Oh well such is life, he needs to move on anyways" Steele said as he walked past her and into the kitchen..

"people have feelings you know" she snapped as she followed him and he grabbed a spoon from the drawer and opened up the soup, he inhaled it dramatically and then took a spoonful of it..

"yeah well thats on you sweetheart not me" he said as he continued to eat.."this is fantastic, want some?"

"no i dont want any" she stood there and looked at him..

"Oh come on lighten up, im sure its not the first time you have fucked with some poor guys emotions" he raised an eyebrow at her and she had an odd feeling that he wasnt talking about Cris now..

"what is that suppose to mean, i will let you know that i always think of peoples feelings" she said defensively..Steele rolled his eyes as he continued to eat the soup.."And stop eating that its mine" she finally said as she grabbed the container from him roughly..

"demanding little thing arent you" he grinned as he licked the spoon and now she rolled her eyes.. Natalie put it on the kitchen table and huffed..

"I need to finish getting ready" she spun from him..

"do you need help?" he smiled wickedly, she ignored him and stormed off to her bedroom and he grabbed the container from the table and continued to eat..

Natalie was quiet for the majority of the car ride, her mind was on so many different things and now Cris was added to her list, this day was just getting better and better.

"You know i didnt do anything wrong today" she began as he looked at her as he drove.. "I dont understand why he has to act this way" she sighed..

"You know natalie maybe you should ask yourself the same thing" he said as he drove..

"im not the one asking someone to do something as drastic as" her voice trailed and then she looked at him.."i know you know about what he asked me"

"and your point is, you seem surprised that he would ask, you knew what you were getting yourself into" he said seriously.."and i do believe i warned you" he narrowed his eyes at her..

"Oh please i am not falling for him" she said sarcastically as he just looked at her, not saying anything.."Im not" she said again..

"John is like a brother to me, he's family and i dont look kindly upon those who fuck with him" he had a seriousness to his voice as he looked at her..

"But im not doing anything, i just asked him for his help to find out who killed my sister" she said defensively..

"Oh i was unaware that kissing him was part of the case" he said dryly and she felt her face turn red, apparently he knew more then she would of liked..She stared out the window, not knowing what to say back to him.."He likes you for apparent reasons and some I am still on the fence about" he continued as she looked at him, her face bright red, he liked her? He told Steele that he did?.."You've done quite the number on him and that is saying alot"

"i wasnt trying to do anything" she said suddenly feeling bad even though internally she was jumping up and down, she had done a number on him, holy shit when did that revelation happen, atleast she didnt feel so damn alone in all of this craziness!.."Listen this is new to me ok" she said honestly as he looked at her..

"yeah well that feeling is mutual, John doesnt do vanilla relationships, ive never known him to" he said and she felt disappointment creep up on her, this ultimately was her fear, John was a freak plain and simple, this was his life.."coming from someone who has alot of experience in this field" he began as she looked at him, his voice was softer now.."you cant change who you are and just because you explore the darker realms in your life doesnt make you less then or not worthy of something greater then yourself" she was in awe for a second as she looked at him, she couldnt believe this was Steele talking, he sounded like a therapist, he grinned as he looked at her.."I majored in Psychology"

"I cant throw away everything i believe in" she said honestly..

"we do it all the time for our families, our career, what makes this so different" he said in a serious tone..

"Oh i cant think of alot of ways" she laughed now..

"there are two types of people in this world natalie, those who command and those who obey, its fairly simple actually" he began as she looked at him..

"yeah well not everyone is asking to be hit and demoralized" she said dryly..

"you really have no idea what this lifestyle is all about, you really should do your research before you place judgements on others" he said seriously..

"i know that i dont like being told what to do and i certainly am not going to bow down to some man" she said angrily as he looked at her..

"do you think that is what this is all about, you do understand that the submissive has all the control, dont you? In a mutually respectful relationship nothing is done without permission, its not about beating someone and demoralizing them as you would say, its about giving something to someone and them giving to you, its actually very fair balanced" she couldnt believe how serious he was about all of this..

"Im not some weak little woman who doesnt know any better" she said defensively..

"again your not listening to what i am saying, this has nothing to do with being weak, actually the most powerful thing a person can do is embrace their inner desires and find someone compatible, its no different then what you have already experienced as a woman thus far" he said as Natalie looked back out the window, this was all just way too much to ingest at the moment, he made som vaild points, she even could understand where he was coming from but it was all still too weird for her.."Just dont be so quick to judge, you may be surprised at what you learn"

"How come John cant just talk to me like this" she finally said as she looked at him..

Steele smiled big as he looked at her.."yeah well John is more complicated than I am, thats something you should of thought about before you decided to dismiss me and chase after him"

"i am not chasing after him" she said with wide eyes as she swallowed hard..

"you know for a police officer you do lie an awful lot" he grinned as they pulled up to the club and he turned off the massive machine he drove, she looked back out the window, the same tugging in her belly came back full force as she stared at the large building, Steele came around and opened her door as he looked at her.."you ready for round two?"

"not really" she said honestly as he helped her get out of the vehicle..

"well lets see if we can change that shall we" he smiled as he took her hand and began to lead her inside the dreaded club..


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Natalie honestly didnt know if she would ever get use to coming to this club, even now as they walked through the large front doors and Steele smiled and made small talk with the chick at the front desk, she still felt the butterflies fill in her stomach. Her eyes drifted to the door that lead to his apartment above the club, she couldnt help but remember the weirdness that occured that night, the feeling of Steele tugging on her arm snapped her from her thoughts as he pulled her through the club and she kept her eyes on the ground below..

The place was ridiculously filled once more and the loud music pumped through her body adding to the already rising anxiety she was feeling, he stopped at a door and she just assumed it was Johns office cause all she could see was the bottom of it, he opened it and pulled her inside but much to her surprise it wasnt his office at all but a playroom, her eyes got wide as she looked around at the table, the devices hanging off the wall, oh my god she wanted to die..

"this is a good enough place then anything to hang" he began as he sat on a nearby chair and she stood nervously staring at the wall, was that a cane and a whip? Suddenly she felt ill.."might as well sit were gonna be here awhile" he said nonchalantly as he pulled out his phone and began texting, she just watched him for a second..

"why are we in here" she asked nervously, surely they werent going to sit in this uncomfortable space for hours, were they?

He grinned big.."we could just go out there if you like but im sure everyone will be expecting a show"

"Oh" her voice came out weaker then she would of liked..

"But if you want to" he smirked..

"No im fine" she said as she quickly sat down and looked around nervously, he continued to text.."so um is this place what i think it is" she began as he looked at her..

"this is a fetish club sweetheart of course it is, feeling a little adventurous?" he smirked and she shifted uncomfortably.."Im kidding, got any questions?"

Natalie looked around the room some more, questions was more of an understatement, her eyes landed on a chest across the room, it looked hand crafted, it was actually quite beautiful..

"It's like a toy box so to speak" Steele said as he typed on his phone and she looked at him, he kept his eyes down as he spoke, texting away at the same time.."you can check it out if you like"

Natalie rolled her eyes and let out a small nervous laugh, he looked at her now.."i think i will pass"

"Fine suit yourself" he said as she continued to text, she stared at the chest some more, curiosity getting the best of her as she stood and walked over to it, Steele watched her as he texted some more..

Natalie stood in front of the chest and then reached down and lifted the heavy lid, it popped open and she jumped back as if something would come out and grab her, Steele let out a small laugh .."aint nothing going to bite you in there" he grinned and she shook her head with embarassment as she moved forward and peered inside, her eyes getting wide as she looked at the contents.

The chest was filled with candles of different shapes and sizes, a few ropes, blindfolds, some sort of weird beaded necklace, she picked it up and studied it for a second, it looked like something you would get at a mardi-gra parade only larger..

"ah now those are fun" Steele said as he stood now and she looked at him then at the necklace in her hand..

"A necklace fun? What do you do, choke someone with it" she said sarcastically..

Now Steele laughed loud, it was deep too and she quickly turned a million shades of red, he was laughing at her.."its not a necklace Natalie"

"what? Then what the heck is it" she said as she inspected it some more..

"Anal beads" he said and she dropped the item as if it had caught on fire, Steele laughed harder..

"Oh my god" she said with embarassment and well horror as he walked over and picked them up off the floor.."you put them..." her voice trailed as she tried to understand the concept of the beads, she was bright red now as he looked at her..

"I could give you a demonstration" Steele winked at her and she backed up quick as he laughed again and put the beads back in the chest.."Oh now this you would probably recognize" he said with a grin as he pulled out a vibrator and she blushed again as she rolled her eyes...

"so your telling me this stuff is just in here for whoever wants to use it, like its reused" she said as she cringed internally..

"well its cleaned and sterilized of course" he shook his head as he waved around the dildo and she laughed now, mainly out of embarassment..."so do you have your own at home?" he raised an eyebrow at her..

"what kind of question is that" she said as she felt her face get hot, she was mortified..

"im surprised your not still a virgin considering how uncomfortable you are about talking about sex" he said as he put the vibrator back in the chest..

"Just cause i dont like talking about it" she began as he smiled and she began to regret her words.."nevermind" she shook her head..

"No no please continue" he smirked..

"I have sex ok, im not some kind of prude" she said quickly and he laughed now.."Im glad im entertaining you" she wanted to crawl under a rock..

"im not laughing at you, im laughing with you" he laughed..

"Im not laughing" she began and then she laughed a little..The sound of the door opening made her move back some, and Steele too looked at the door , then she saw it, a pair of blue eyes, crazy blue eyes, his blue eyes, it was John and she looked at him in shock, apparently he was there..

"Oh i didnt know this room was taken" he said as he looked at Steele then at natalie, she swallowed hard, his features were unreadable and then she noticed his hand, he was holding someones, then a female body came into view and her eyes got wide.."I'll leave you to it then" he said as he turned as natalie got an eyeful of some blonde haired chick, wearing very little clothes and she was with John, she wasnt expecting to feel what she did right at this moment, jealousy and hurt. He quickly closed the door..

"that was a little awkward huh, hopefully she doesnt say anything" Steele said as he stood by the chest.."I mean im sure she wont"

"who is she" she couldnt help the jealousy that was flowing out of her mouth, who the hell was that chick and why the hell did he look at her like that, god she was mad..

"i dunno just some girl, why?" Steele raised an eyebrow at her and she quickly looked away..

"Nothing" she said with annoyance as she kept her eyes on the ground.."what are they going to do" she hated that she sounded the way she did..

"Oh i think we both know what they are going to do" he smirked some and she rolled her eyes..

"so thats just great, this place is just an excuse to be a whore or in your case a male whore" she said sarcastically...

"woo woo wait, hold up there with the judgements sweetheart" he said quickly.."who said anything about her being a whore or him for that matter" he looked insulted and she rolled her eyes, now she just wanted to leave..

"oh please i know what they are going to be doing" she said dryly.."is he even sure that she doesnt have an std" she said sarcastically..

"wow you are the green eyed monster arent you" he said with a shake of his head..

"Oh please, i honestly dont care what or who he does" she lied cause she did care, damn it she cared way too much..Why did she care?

"sounds like jealousy to me" he raised an eyebrow..

"what the hell would i be jealous about" she snapped..

"why are you being so defensive then" he counteracted..

"who said im being defensive, im not defensive!" she snapped at him as he raised his eyebrows.."Oh just forget it, how much longer do i have to stay here" she huffed as she sat in a nearby chair and sulked..

"You know you could just talk to him" he finally said as she looked up at him..

"Talk to him? I dont even know why im here" she said sarcastically, she hated that her mind was running rampant with ideas of what he was doing to that skanky looking whore..Steele walked to the door and she watched him.."where are you going?" she asked as he opened the door..

"Just give me a second i will be right back" he said and then he left her alone in there and alone with her thoughts which wasnt necessarily a good thing..

Seconds felt like an eternity and finally she couldnt take it anymore, she did have to get out of there, she was about to have a nervous breakdown and so she quickly went to the door and opened it, the hallway was empty and she honestly had no idea how to get out of this place, but she began walking anyways..She was annoyed and upset mainly due to the fact that she was apparently replaceable and why wouldnt she be, she couldnt give him what he wanted and there was plenty of willing women who would, she was pissed as she walked down the hall looking desperately for an exit..

The doors in the hall were all closed and she tried not to think of which one he was in cause all it did was upset her more but then she heard a voice, a familar one, it was Steele and she stopped and tried to listen even though she couldnt make out what they were saying..

"i just think that there is probably a better way to go about this, she is really upset, you dont want her to hate you, do you?" Steele began..

"she needs to learn a lesson, so just continue with what we agreed on" John snapped at him.."if she is upset thats good"

"I dont know man i feel bad" Steele began as John shook his head..

"she is so close you have no idea, i do... just give it a few more minutes and she will be eating out of my hand" John grinned as Steele sighed..

"fine but if this backfires" Steele said honestly..

"it wont, you'll see" John said as he opened the door and Natalie literally fell forward, she hadnt been able to hear a damn thing and now she was literally laying face down on the ground and embarassed as all hell.."Can i help you?" he had a smirk on his face and Steele was holding back a laugh, she immediately got up on wobbily legs, he tried to lend a hand and she shrugged off his help..

"i was...the thing is...a bathroom...i need a bathroom" she rambled as her face got bright red..

"Of course a bathroom" John said as he looked at her.."steele why dont you show her to the bathroom" he said as a grin formed on his lips, she knew she was so busted, she didnt care, she was so embarassed as she spun from the door and Steele quickly lead her to a bathroom..

"are you ok? That was quite an entrance" Steele was holding back a laugh..

"Im fine" she said quickly, wanting to just hide herself for a few moments, god she couldnt believe she fell like that. He pointed to a nearby door and she stepped in, quickly closing it as she covered her face and silently cursed herself for looking so stupid. The only thing that made this situation seem someone ok was the fact that John was alone in that room, well besides Steele, the whore wasnt with him, where the heck was she and why was he in there alone?

She knew she had to some how get a grip as she stood in the bathroom, anxiety filling her, this night couldnt possibly get any worse, or could it?

"you Ok?" she heard steele's voice on the other side of the door and she sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror, she could do this, she could, she quickly opened the door and braved a big fat smile..

"Im fine" she lied..

"ok well we should probably get back then" he said as he studied her once more, god she felt like she was under a damn microscope, she walked quickly back to the room, John was standing at one of the doors as they passed, he was staring at her and she quickly looked away as she entered the god forsaken room again..

"you know i dont know how much longer i can just sit in this room" she began as she walked across the room, her back to the door..

"why is that" his voice made her jump, it wasnt Steele, she quickly turned to see John standing there.."its a nice room" he began and she literally didnt know what to say, she fidgeted nervously..He stepped into the room and she swallowed hard.."did you have a nice trip back to Lanview?" she looked at him confused, was this his way of making small talk..

"it was fine" she said not wanting to start an argument with him.."I thought you were going to be staying in AC a few days" she said nervously as he walked over to a chair and leaned on it..

"change of plans" he stared at her, god she hated that she couldnt tell what he was thinking.."so everything going ok with Steele" he asked nonchalantly..

"Just fine, he was very informative about the chest" she said without thinking, two could play this little game, his eyes got a wide bit and for a second she thought she saw a flash of anger but then he smiled..

"the chest never disappoints" he grinned wickedly, oh he was good..

"he offered to demonstrate" she said with a smile and John immediately frowned, the lines in his face becoming apparent..

"well that was very kind of him" he said through gritted teeth, a forced smile on his lips...

"i thought so, i like him ya know, he's very smart and a bit of a chatterbox" she smiled nervously as she watched him grip the chair hard but his face remained the same with a tight smile.."were getting to know each other very well"

His fingers began to turn red as he held onto the chair, his eyes on hers..Steele walked in and broke the insane staring contest, apparently oblivious to what was happening.."so i think about another hour and we should be good" he said and then immediately sensed the tension as John looked at him, he abruptly let of the chair and it squeaked loudly on the floor..

"thats fine" John said with a forced smile and then without another word he left the room, slamming the door behind him as Steele looked at Natalie with wide eyes...

"did i miss something" he said as he looked at her..

Natalie smiled nervously.."nope just John being John", the sound of another door being slammed loudly made Steele spin his head around.."some one is in a bad mood" she said with a smile, she was glad he was in a bad mood, so was she..

"Yeah he is, what exactlly did you two talk about in here" Steele asked suspiciously..

"Oh nothing just a little of this and a little of that" she smiled sarcastically..

"natalie what did you say to him" he had an edge to his voice, he looked concerned..

She tried to blow off his concerned look.."apparently he can dish it out but he cant take it" she shrugged her shoulders at him..

His face turned to stone as he stood there.."natalie what did you say?" he began as another loud crash was heard, this time she jumped back some as Steele looked at the door then back at her..

"Nothing geez,...ok so i might of said something to the affect of you wanting to demonstrate some of those items on me" she said as she pointed to the chest and his eyes got wide..

"what? Why the hell would you sat that!' he was angry and she was a bit in shock over it, why was he freaking out..

"what? I was playing around, you said yourself i needed to lighten up" she said quickly, her voice now filling with doubt..

"Oh this is fucking perfect" Steele grumbled low and deep and then spun for the door as he opened it he looked at her and pointed his long finger at her.."You,... dont move from that spot" he snapped angrily and it literally made her hold her breath, wow he was pissed, he left the room and slammed the door as she stood there wondering if maybe she had gone a little too far..

Steele immediately noticed that the adjacent door had a fist size hole in it, he quickly walked down the hall, the sound of a bottle smashing onto a wall made him literally jump as he opened Johns office door quick, staring at the broken glass on the ground by his feet, John literally looked like he was going to kill someone..

"what!" he snapped at Steele bitterly..

Natalie now paced the small room, her mind racing, why was he so mad, she was sure he had been trying to fuck with her, he was always fucking with her and he was damn good at it, now he was being a child again, she was completely frustrated and well she felt kind of bad, Steele's words replaying in her head..'He likes you'.. She swallowed hard as she nervously fidgeted with her hands, the door swung open quick and her eyes got wide as Steele stood there, he looked absolutely on fire..

"were leaving" he barked at her and she gulped.."NOW!" his voice shook the walls as she jumped some and scurried to the door, he began walking down the hall fast as she tried to keep up..

"wait...Steele" she called out as she began to run up to him and he stopped dead in his tracks, so much so that she nearly bumped into him as she skidded to a stop..

"whats going on, why are we leaving" she began to say even though she had somewhat of an incling, she had seen the fist size hole on the door across from them, had John done that? Oh this wasnt good..

"I told you that i dont like anyone fucking with his emotions" he said through gritted teeth to her..

"i was just playing around" she said nervously but he didnt look like he found it funny at all..

"im glad you got satisfaction out of that" he snapped at her again and then he was walking again as she tried to keep up..

"Im sorry ok , i didnt mean" she began., suddenly now she was overwhelmed with guilt, he stopped again..

"you think this is one big joke dont you" he spoke low, his voice still so very angry..

"No...i dont" she squeaked out in a tiny voice..

He threw his hands up in frustration.."lets go" he spun from her again and she hated that she felt like shit, they walked past Johns office and she couldnt help but see broken glass on the ground, her stomach went into her chest as she stopped for a second, John was leaning down and picking up large shards, his eyes met hers and she saw something cross over his features, was it hurt? He quickly replaced it with anger as he pushed the door shut hard as she stood there wanting to somehow make this better.."Natalie!" Steele barked and she jumped again.."NOW!" he yelled and she quickly followed him out, god this was a huge mess!

Steele drove like a madman as he brought her home, he didnt say anything to her, hell he wouldnt even look at her, she finally spoke.."im sorry ok" she said in a low apologetic voice, he didnt say anything as he skidded to a stop in front of her apartment..She looked at it then at him, he was clutching the steering wheel tight..She went to say something again but he cut her off..

"Get out" he didnt look at her still and she swallowed hard..

"Steele" she began softly...

"Get OUT!" he yelled this time and she quickly opened the door and hopped to the ground, he didnt even allow her to close the door as he peeled out in front of her, leaving her standing there feeling completely and totally like shit..


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

It had been officially two days since the incident and Natalie didnt know what the hell to think. She still felt like crap even though part of her was just getting angry now, how come he could mess with her and she couldnt mess with him back, how unfair was that? She knew she shouldnt even care but she did, hell she barely knew him and here she was sulking at her desk at work wondering how to make this all better, had she finally lost her mind?

The idea hit her that maybe somehow she was going to end up like Jess, things like this ran in the family and with the upbringing she had it was unbelievable that she hadnt snapped yet herself, thinking about jess made her somber again. Trying to find the killer without any help was gonna be like trying to find a needle in a haystack..

Steele was officially avoiding her text messages and emails which didnt help the situation, she was sure he would calm down and let this all blow over but apparently that wasnt the case, he was pissed and so was John..

She tried desperately to focus on her work but it was becoming more and more harder to do, she literally felt like she had no one to talk to about this and to make matters worse Cris had taken time off of work and headed to Puerto Rico to see family, she knew that was partly her fault, had she chased him away too? It was times like these that she wished she had a friend to talk to.

Natalie looked at her phone again and contemplated calling John but what would she say, should she even say anything at all..She huffed loudly as she put her phone down on her desk just as a knock was heard on her door and then without waiting for an answer he stepped in, John..

Natalie blinked in surprise as she looked at him standing in her office now, he had showed up at her job, she honestly didnt know what to say..She was indeed speechless..

Thirty Minutes Prior..

_John sat at his desk trying desperately to concentrate on payroll as his mind kept on going back to her, he was pissed at her and well pissed at himself, Steele had warned him that this could back fire on him and it did, in a big big way.._

He hated that he had allowed someone to get under his skin such as her, he had no right even messing with her but then why did he want her so bad, so bad he could almost taste it..

She was like forbidden fruit, she didnt look at him like all the other women did, she didnt throw herself at him, she was a challenge and he was definitely up for it, it made him feel alive as much as it pissed him off.. She was genuine and compassionate but she was also head strong and independent, she didnt need him and for some odd reason that drew him to her more..

Listening to her talk about Steele did something to him, it set him off in a rage, one he hadnt been in for quite some time. He wanted to hurt someone, he wanted to break things. Of course Steele assured him nothing was going on between them and that she was just trying to fuck with John, and that pissed him off too not to mention it slapped his ego hard, it was a blow he wasnt expecting..He didnt know how to deal with it, he didnt know how to deal with her..

He glanced at his phone wondering if he should call her, he had no clue how to go about this, he had never dealt with anyone like her before and part of him was screaming to just let it go, he put his hand on the phone, ready to dial as his phone rang, he saw it was Mikey, he sighed before he answered, he was sure this wasnt going to be good especially after the way he left..

"Hey Mikey, listen before you chew me out about how i left" he began wanting to get it out first before his brother could start with him..But his eyes grew wide as he listened to what his brother had to say.."what? When? Are you sure.." his voice grew more frantic by the second.."Yeah... i will... im leaving now, yes i will tell her Mikey, im going there now, I will call you when im on the road" he said as he hung up and darted out of his club and went straight to the police station, this was definitely not good..

Natalie swallowed the large lump in her throat as he stood in her office, she stood now suddenly not wanting to sit.."hi" she said low, an apology in her eyes as she looked at him..

"natalie I" he began almost nervously..

"just wait before you say anything, i just want to say" she began as he shook his head, he looked flustered..

"natalie i have to tell you something important" he said almost urgently..

"well atleast let me go first, please" she cut him off, she wanted to get this out before she lost her nerve, he began walking over to her and she held in a breath..

"natalie there was an accident" he blurted out as she looked at him confused, she was sure she heard him wrong..

"im sorry what" she said with a shake of her head..

"natalie we have to go now" he said seriously and she suddenly felt sick, what the hell was going on..

"where, why, what accident" she said as her heart began to race, he looked deadly serious as he stood in front of her..

"i can explain on the way" he began as she cut him off again..

"on the way to where, what are you talking about" her voice cracked some..

"Natalie its rex, he's been shot" his words echoed through her head and she thought yet again she had to be hearing things..

"what? No..." she said with a shake of her head, how could rex be shot, she had just spoke to him the day earlier, he was fine, Rex was fine..Her pulse began to race irratically..

"natalie listen to me, we have to get to AC" he said as her eyes got wide..

"AC? What, why" her voice was cracking now as none of this made sense, Rex was in Lanview, she had just talked to him..

"Listen he is going into surgery, my brother just called from the hospital, we have to go" his voice was so urgent, he sounded worried, she began to hyperventilate as she stood there..

"rex isnt in AC, he is in Lanview" she said in a panicky voice.."Look i'll show you" she said as she dialed her phone quickly as it rang and rang, then went to voicemail, her heart began to drop as she stood there, it wasnt until then that she felt Johns hand on her arm..

"Natalie we have to go" John said in a voice softer then she had ever heard him speak, when she looked at him she saw the truth in his eyes, this was really happening, this wasnt a nightmare, this was real, her brother had been shot..

John watched as Natalie stood in her Uncles office, he couldnt hear what she was saying but by her Uncles reaction he knew what she was saying. His brothers frantic voice kept on replaying in his head, Mikey never sounded frantic but his tone on the phone was one he hadnt heard in quite sometime, the kid was in alot of trouble and John honestly didnt know if he would pull through this or not..

Natalie quickly moved out of her Uncles office and immediately over to John, Bo was beside himself and now calling all the family members to let them know what had happened. Natalie just wanted to get to AC and now, she could barely breath as she walked over to John..

"come on lets go" he said and she couldnt speak as she followed him out, both of them walking fast, they were heading to AC right now..

Natalie didnt say anything for the longest time as John drove, all she kept on thinking about is what she would see once she got to AC, would be even be alive, how could this of happened, tears pricked her eyes as she stared out the windshield..

"he's gonna be ok Natalie, he's gonna pull through" John said sympathetically even though deep down he wasnt sure if that was true..

"he was in lanview yesterday, i ...i talked to him, he was fine" she said as her voice cracked and then she felt his hand come down on hers as he squeezed it reassuringly, the tears began to flow now as she stared straight forward..

Rex was her brother, her lifeline, if anything happened to him, no she couldnt think that way, he had to be ok, he just had to be..

John flew down the streets as he headed to AC, he barely knew the kid but watching Natalie react well it did something to him, he felt for her in a way that he hadnt felt for anyone, not even for himself.. He kept his hand on hers as he drove, she would mumble to herself about how this coudnt be happening..

A text message came through on Johns phone and she felt her body stiffen as he read it, he looked at her with soft eyes.."still in surgery" he said low..

"he has to be ok, he just had to be" she said as she held back her sobs..

The drive seem to take forever but then again they did have a two hour drive to AC, it was about an hour into the drive that she finally did speak, John had some music playing on the radio low, he had been quiet almost this entire time except for the occassional reassuring words..

"thank you...for driving me" she said as her emotions threatened to get the best of her, she was still in shock that he was helping her after everything and she was grateful because in her current state she wouldnt of been able to drive, safely at least, she glanced down as she got a text from her mom Vicki, they were also heading to AC which in itself was surprising considering that they barely even acknowledged Rex.. John didnt speak as he continued to drive, he honestly didnt know what to say..

"i really am sorry about the other day" she said with shame in her voice, she couldnt bring herself to look at him..

"I know, i am too" he finally spoke, surprising her as she now looked at him.."lets not worry about that right now" he said as he looked at her and she nodded her head ok as she looked back out the window..

Pulling up to the hospital Natalie immediately saw Johns brother outside, they had made some good time, John had even sped through some red lights, she jumped out of the car before he did and she ran up to his brother, not even caring what her current state was..

"Is he?" she couldnt bring herself to finish that sentence..

Mikey glanced at John who was getting out of the car and then at her.."he just got out of surgery, the next 24 hours are going to be touchy, he lost alot of blood" he said sympathetically and she bit back the tears that threatened to fall..

"can i see him" her voice cracked as she looked at John's brother, John came walking over..

"yeah come on" Mikey said as he lead them inside, she had never felt so scared in her life...

Almost two hours had passed at the hospital as Natalie and now both her parents sat in Rex's room, he was hooked up to so many machines, he looked so pitiful laying there, it killed her to see him this way..

According to the AC police he was found in an alley off of Main Street around noon, of course there was no witnesses but in AC there usually never was. He had been shot once in the chest, the bullet narrowly missed a large artery but had punctured his left lung. The police were saying it seemed like a robbery gone bad but natalie knew better, she knew who was involved but she kept her mouth shut not only for rex's benefit but also for their family. It was alot better for her parents to think that this was some kind of crime against rex instead of the reality of the situation.

The doctors were fairly confident that he would pull through with a long recovery ahead of him, she held his hand as he laid there breathing through a machine as he was heavily sedated..

John paced the waiting room, he was on his third cup of coffee and it was finally tasting halfway decent now, he had gotten updates from his brother on Rex's condition even though he hadnt seen him for himself, he knew it wasnt his place, her family was in there with him..

Mikey came out, a look of exhaustion on his face, John knew he had been working atleast 18 hours straight already, he ran a hand through his hair as he came over, John stood to greet him.."he's staying stable" Mikey began as John felt relief wash over him.."this wouldnt happen to have anything to do with your recent exit and those men the other day would it Johnny" he began as John sighed.."he's lucky to be alive, those men are dangerous , i see it all the time here, this was merely a warning" his words held truth and John knew that, those men were more than capable of killing Rex if they wanted to, the kid was in alot of trouble, a hundred grand worth of trouble, John knew what he had to do, he turned from his brother.."Johnny, dont get yourself involved, its not worth it" Mikey said with concern but john knew he had to somehow make this right because next time Rex wouldnt be so lucky..

Natalie left her parents in the room with Rex as she went to get a cup of coffee, emotionally and physically she was worn out, she had expected to see John in the waiting room but he wasnt around, she glanced around a corner and still no sight of him..

"If your looking for my brother, he left" a voice said behind her and she turned to see Mikey standing there, she didnt know why but it bothered her that he had left but then again why would he stay, he had done so much already by driving her there.."your a cop, right?" Mikey asked as he looked at her..

"Yeah, why" she asked with a bit of confusion..

"Im just trying to understand why you didnt tell the AC police the truth, you know this wasnt a robbery gone bad" he began and she swallowed hard, he was staring at her now, waiting for an answer, he apparently was able to put two and two together..Guilt crept up on her, she knew that she had a duty to uphold but she also knew how the system worked and even if she did tell the AC police department what she knew it would only make matters worse for Rex, it wouldnt be a surprise to know that officers were probably being paid off by the men responsible for this.."My brother doesnt need to be involved in this" he said with a bit of anger in his voice..

"I never asked him to be involved regardless of what you think" she said a bit defensively.."all he did was drive me here" she finished as he looked at her..

"listen i dont know what the deal is with you and John, i do know he is going out of his way to help you and your brother, i dont take kindly to crooked cops" he said low and her eyes got wide..

"You have got me all wrong, im not" she said with a shake of her head, this guy thought she was working for the wrong team, he couldnt of been further from the truth..

"yeah well John is out there right now trying to fix your brothers problem when the cops should be taking care of it" he spat angrily as her eyes got even wider..

"what? What are you talking about, where is John" she felt anxiety build up in her and then she thought about Johns questions the other day regarding these men that were after Rex, would he try and deal with them directly, no, he wouldnt, that would be dangerous and stupid!

"if something happens to my brother because of you, i swear lady" Mikey began through gritted teeth..

"enough Mikey" Johns voice alerted them both as they spun around to see him standing there.."she's not the bad guy here" he said quickly as Mikey shook his head..

"hey well pardon me for being upset that your putting your life on the line for a piece of ass" Mikey said bitterly..

Natalie gasped as she looked at Mikey, damn he didnt like her, she looked at John.."where were you" she said quickly, she would deal with his brother later, right now she had more pressing matters at hand..

"I think you should choose your next words wisely mikey" John said as his voice held a threat and he walked up to his brother..

"unbelievable" Mikey said with a shake of his head.."i got work to do" he said as he spun from them and he shot Natalie a nasty look..

"sorry he can get dramatic at times" John said with a shake of his head..

"you didnt answer my question, where did you go, you didnt go to see those men did you" her voice held a bit of shock as she looked at him, she already knew her answer as he looked at her.."are you out of your mind" she raised her voice some..

"if you havent noticed i am still alive and this really isnt a conversation we should have here" he said as he walked past her.."How is he?" he stopped and looked out a window..

"The doctors believe he will make a good recovery, what did you do" she said lower this time as he stared out the window..

"good, im glad" he said low..

"you didnt go to see them did you" she said again as he looked at her now..

"Let me worry about that, you worry about him" he said honestly..

"No...no" she said with a raised voice and then she quickly lowered it.."I didnt ask for you to do anything"

"why cant you just let it go, why do you always have to analyze everything, Rex is going to be ok thats all that matters" he said with annoyance..

"what did you say to them" she asked as she searched his face for answers..

"they wont bother him again" he said nonchalantly..

Natalie felt her pulse race as she looked at him.."what the hell does that mean" she began to raise her voice..

"Natalie is everything ok over here" her father Clint said as he walked over to them and she immediately turned and looked at him, she quickly shut up..

"yeah dad its fine" she lied as he looked at John..

"Clint Buchanan" he outstretched his hand to John..

John took it and shook it even though he wanted to hit the man, this was the man responsible for Tess becoming the fucked up mess she was.."John McBain" he shook it firmly, maybe a bit too firmly..Natalie watched as John stared down her dad, her nerves were becoming shot, she needed to end this meeting and now..

"dad why dont we go back inside and wait for Rex to wake up" she said as she looked at her dad and he finally looked at her..

"thats a great idea sweetheart" he said and then looked at John.."we appreciate you giving our daughter a ride but im sure you have somewhere else you need to be" he began and it wasnt lost on natalie that her father didnt like this man and then she thought back to her Uncle Bo calling them, she wondered if her uncle gave him the low down on John and what he did for a living, the idea was mortifying..

"thank you but i think i will just stay a little while" John said through gritted teeth and then walked away from them. Clint had a shocked look on his face as he stood there, no one ever talked to her dad that way, no one..

"Dad we should go" natalie said quickly as she grabbed his hand wanting to end this before it got too heated..

"why dont you go in with your mother and i will be there in a second" he wasnt budging and she knew this wasnt good at all..

"Dad" she began as he looked at her..

"natalie go with your mom" he said again, his voice raising..

"You should go with your mom Natalie" John said with a bit of anger in his voice as he turned around and looked at Clint now, both of them staring each other down.."I think your father would like to talk to me"

"Listen right now is not the time for this" Natalie began as she looked at them, John was walking back over..

"natalie go to your mother" Clint said again as he stared at John..

"Dad please dont do this ok" she said nervously as he looked at her now..

"if you have something to say to me Clint i would love to hear it" John said sarcastically as he stared Clint down..

"You think your real smooth dont you Mr. McBain" Clint said in a low threatening voice..

"ive been called alot of things, smooth isnt one of them Clint" John smiled sarcastically at him..

"Dad listen whatever you have heard" Natalie interjected, the tension in the room was raising fast..

"Oh ive heard alot Natalie" Clint said angrily as he stared at John.."what are you thinking being around this man"

"Oh im sorry last time i checked Natalie was an adult and made her own decisions" John spat bitterly..

"dont talk about my daughter, i know what your all about and believe me when i get back to lanview" Clint began angrily even thought his voice was low..

"are you threatening me" John said as he stepped closer, Natalie now put her hand on both of their chests, pushing them slightly..

"Dad please, we can talk about this another time, not here, ok, not now" she said as anxiety filled her..

"stay away from my daughter, stay away from my family" Clint said threateningly..

"Im gonna go get some coffee" John said as he looked at Natalie and then glared at her father as he walked away and towards the cafeteria..

"that man is bad news natalie" Clint barked at her..

"Dad" she said with a shake of her head..

"this conversation is not over" Clint said as he turned from her.."lets go see your brother" he finished as Natalie sighed heavily and then walked with him, she could tell this was ultimately going to end up in a fight.

Natalie stayed in the room with her parents and thankfully her father didnt mention another word about John, she knew he did it mainly cause of their mother who was already grief stricken over Rex but she also knew this was far from over, he was pissed and she honestly didnt know what he had in store for John, considering he owned pretty much all of lanview she was sure it would be something big, she just hoped she could some how convince him to drop it but that would be a task in itself.

See her father Clint was a powerful man, a business man through and through. He was no stranger to holding grudges and making good on his promises. He demanded respect from everyone around him and didnt look kindly upon the family name being trashed, the fact that natalie was hanging around a BDSM club owner was like a knife in the heart to him and she knew this.

It took her years to even get close to him, he was a man of few words and well when Natalie first came to town she didnt make life easy for any of the Buchanan's, she was a wild child that needed to be tamed and over time he grew to respect her, love her even, especially once she became a cop..

She hated that this one decision in her life was now making him revert to his old ways, she could see it in his eyes, he was doubting her again and she hated that,she hated it more then anything..

She excused herself to the bathroom but not after getting a warning look from her father, she ignored it and headed out of the room and down the hall, she was gonna have to talk to him, somehow make him understand that she knew what she was doing. As she reached the bathrooms, the mens door opened and John stepped out, she froze for a second as she looked at him not knowing what she should say to him, if anything at all..


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

"I um didnt know you were still here" she said with a bit of shock and it was true, she had assumed he left, they had been at the hospital for almost 6 hours now, why was he still there..

"what made you think i would leave?" he raised an eyebrow at her..She stuttered with her words for a moment, unsure of what to say..."your father doesnt scare me, actually i would love to have a word with him" he said with a wicked smile..

"Listen i dont think that would be a good idea" she swallowed hard..

"why i think we got along famously" he grinned..

"this is a really hard time for my family right now" she began as he looked at her..

"you dont need to make excuses for him Natalie, he's a piece of shit" he said bluntly and her eyes got wide.."dont look so surprised, i told you about Tess" he said seriously..

"Listen i dont really think this is the place for this conversation" she said nervously, she honestly didnt want to have this conversation with him at all, he was convinced that her father had somehow abused her sister and caused her to snap the way she did. Clint was alot of things, maybe even a bastard at times but he wasnt a child molestor or an abuser to his children, that much she did know..

"good point, have you eaten?" he asked and she couldnt help but roll her eyes at him, here we go again.."i know you havent eaten in the last 8 hours" he raised an eyebrow at her..

"im not hungry" she said quickly...He just stared at her.."Im not ok, i have alot on my mind" she said honestly, food was the last thing she wanted to think about..Plus they never did talk about what happened at the club the other day, she still wanted to talk about that..

"Your not going to do Rex much good by starving yourself, you need to eat" he said in a matter of fact kind of tone..

"i'll grab something out of the machine then or something from the cafeteria" she said quickly..

"have you eaten any of the food here if you can even call it that" he said dryly..

"Listen i cant just up and leave to go get something to eat" she said nervously..

"and why not? I hate to break it to you but i dont think rex is going anywhere and the doctors already feel like he is out of the woods" he said as she blinked at him in shock, how the heck did he know all of this..He seemed to read her mind.."My brother works here remember?" Before she could answer him he dialed his phone as she watched.."Hey mikey im gonna go get something to eat with Natalie, you will call if there is an update, right?" Natalie sighed as she listened to him.."Ok good" he said as he hung up and looked at her..

"Listen im not hungry" she said quickly as she fidgeted..

"if this is about your father getting mad" he began as he raised an eyebrow at her..

"i really dont want to discuss my father" she said honestly..

"good me either, so where should we go" he said nonchalantly..

"i never said i would go with you" she put her hands on her hips..

"well its a good thing i wasnt asking" he smirked.."come on i know a cute little restuarant, they have great italian food" he began to walk..

"John i cant" she said as she stood in place and he stopped and slowly turned to face her..

"you know where is that fiesty red head that does as she pleases?" he cocked his head at her and she rolled her eyes..

"dont try and use reverse psychology on me ok, it wont work" she began as she smirked a little..

"would you like me to ask your dad for you" he raised an eyebrow as her eyes got wide.."I will"

"No...god" she huffed..

"when then lets go, your a big girl you dont need to report back to him for every little thing" he said seriously..Natalie went to say something and he cut her off.."and besides Mikey will call if there is a change"

"i thought he was mad at you" she said sarcastically..

"Mikey is always mad at me about something" he smirked.."You ready?"

Natalie looked at him contemplating what to do, she had a very huge inclination that he would make good on his word and talk to her dad and that would be very very bad, and to be honest it was just to get something to eat, it was the lesser of two evils and it prevented an all out war in Rex's hospital room, granted her father would be upset but she could deal with him, she always did..

"time is ticking" he said as he pointed at his watch..

"im only doing this because i dont want you to make a scene" she began and he smiled..

"whatever your reason, thats fine with me" he grinned..Natalie sighed and turned for the bathroom as he waited outside the door, she hoped she wasnt going to regret this come tonight..

Sitting in a small Italian Restuarant in downtown AC, Natalie sipped on her beer as they waited for thier food, the drive there had been somewhat quiet and awkward, neither of them saying much at all but natalie couldnt bear it anymore as she finally spoke..

"so are you going to tell me what you said to those guys today" she spit out as he looked at her as he sipped his scotch..

"I told you they wont mess with him again" he said with a shrug of his shoulders..

She huffed and rolled her eyes.."My duty as a cop if to uphold the law"

"and again i will say that it wasnt illegal what i did, i just...well i gave them what they wanted" he said nonchalantly..

Natalie shifted uncomfortably in her seat.."whats that mean you gave them what they wanted" even as she spoke she hoped it wasnt what she thought..John didnt answer as he looked at her, her eyes got wide.."You paid them off" her voice came out higher then she would of liked, again he didnt speak.." a hundred thousand dollars?" she was in shock as she looked at him, why the hell would he do that and more importantly how the heck could he do that..

"im good for it" he said dryly..

"oh my god why would you do that" she looked at him with wide eyes, she could see where this was going, now she owed him, she owed him alot, she immediately grabbed out her checkbook..

"Im not taking that" he said matter of factly..

"yes you are, this wasnt a matter of money John, cause i have that" she said with almost an insulted tone, hell she was a Buchanan, granted she didnt have a hundred grand just laying around but still, she was trying to teach Rex a lesson, one that apparently backfired big time..

"its done and over with, just drop it" he said seriously, his face getting like stone again as the waitress came over with their food..

"i cant believe you would do that" she whispered and then nervously looked up at the young girl who put food on the table..

"Can i get you anything else" the girl said as she smiled at John and completely ignored natalie..

"were fine thank you" natalie spat at her angrily, how rude! John smiled at the girl, who now looked at natalie with a roll of her eyes..

"thank you were good" John said as the girl looked at him again and then smiled as she walked away, Natalie rolled her eyes again..

"You know one of these days your eyes are going to roll right out of that pretty head of yours" he said as he ate a mouthful of food..

"Listen this is serious" she said as she looked at him, god she was so annoyed, she didnt like owing anyone, hell that is why she paid her own way for everything..

"Your the one making a big deal out of this, you should eat" he said as he continued to eat..

"Im giving you the money whether you like it or not" she snapped at him..

"fine just eat" he now rolled his eyes...

"i am..." she stared at him..

"ok good im not arguing with you" he said calmly and she huffed..

"on another note" he smiled as she shoved a mouthful of food in her mouth, god she was so mad at him right now even though he smiled at her in that way that made her insides start to melt.."so you wanna fuck Steele" his words nearly made her choke on her food as she began coughing loud..

"what?" she nervously looked around as a few people looked in their direction..

"do you really want me to repeat that" he grinned as he continued to eat and she shook her head..

"you know your really unbelievable" she sighed..

"Im just asking a question, do you or dont you" he began as she looked at him hard..

"Dont even say it" she said in a low voice as she looked at him..

"so do you?" he raised an eyebrow..Natalie shoved another mouthful of food in her mouth as she looked at him.."so that little show the other day was just for my benefit?" he seemed surprised and she continued chewing her food as she turned red.."well i guess i should take that as a compliment" he smiled and then his face became like stone.."dont do it again" his voice was deadly serious..

"is that what you do when your mad, just hulk smash things like a child" she finally said and he smiled now..

"Hulk smashing, i like that" he grinned.."I dont like games, well not that kind"

Natalie laughed now, she couldnt help herself.."wow this coming from the Master of manipulation"

"I am a Master of many things" he grinned and she flushed again.."do you like your food?" he asked..

"its fine" she said quickly as she sighed..

"see isnt this nice, just the two of us having a conversation" he paused for a second.."it wasnt that hard"

"i hardly consider this a conversation" she said dryly..

"you do like to fight me every step of the way" he said as a statement..

"well you do like to act like a douchebag" she smiled now and he grinned..

"I have my moments" he smirked..

"alot of them" she said dryly..

The rest of their meal was eaten in silence, she honestly didnt know what to do now, he had paid off a bunch of criminals on Rex's behalf, her brother lay in a hospital bed and now she was sitting here trying to act as if everything was fine and it was so far from fine it was ridiculous..

"got something on your mind?" he asked as he finished his plate and looked at her..

"i just dont get you" she said honestly..

"Trust me you dont want to" he said as he sipped his drink, there was something behind his words, some sort of sadness, it made her want to find out what it was, cause it definitely was something..

"so who was that girl with you the other day" she finally asked, it had been on her mind sadly enough..

He looked at her confused for a second.."oh you mean Jackie"..Natalie couldnt help the smirk on her face, so she had a name, she wondered what else he knew about her, damn whore!.."what?"

"Nothing i just assumed her name would be something on the lines of skank something or another" she said sarcastically and now he grinned..

"it bothered you to see me with her?" he raised an eyebrow..

"Oh please" she said with a roll of her eyes.."I just felt sorry for her"

"or jealous of her" he stared at her..

"god why would i be jealous of that" she said with a nervous laugh, damn was she jealous of that chick, no she couldnt be..

"probably the same way i was jealous of Steele" he said honestly and it caught her off guard, she blinked in shock, she really didnt get him at all, he was so hot and cold all the time.."I only hulk smash for a reason" he smirked now and she quickly looked down at her plate.."why does that bother you?"

She looked up now.."why does what bother me" she played stupid..

"the fact that i make myself clear on how i feel and what i want" he said seriously..

"what you want is a bit intimidating" she said honestly as she looked back down, she couldnt believe she was having this conversation with him yet again, was it hot in here or what?

"your the one who makes it intimidating, its fairly simple" he began as she laughed now..

"maybe in your world, not mine" she laughed..

"so then enlighten me Miss Natalie, what does interest you" he asked honestly, he really wanted to know, she perplexed him..

"what?" she said nervously..

"Interests? You must have some" he said in a serious tone..

Natalie couldnt help but roll her eyes again.."I like long walks on the beach, reading poetry and going to the movies" she said sarcastically..

He raised his eyebrows at her.."you read poetry?" he spoke seriously..

"I was kidding ...god" she said with a laugh but he wasnt laughing.."you seriously need to lighten up"

"why cant you just answer a simple question" he held his stare..

"Um cause we have very different interests so it would be pointless" she said honestly..

"you think i dont like to do normal things?" he said with such a serious tone that it made her feel uncomfortable..

"do you?" she asked..

"the opinion you have of me is a little disheartening" he said honestly..

"Ok fine, then tell me what normal things do you like to do" she said with a sigh, he was being such a child about this..

"i like to do this" his words surprised her and she swallowed hard..He stood now, abruptly as she looked at him, she wasnt sure if he was gonna yell or leave, maybe both.."You ready to go" he was back to being his normal brooding self..

"yeah" she said as she stood, this was getting her no where..

Again neither of them spoke as he drove but when she noticed he passed the road for the hospital she felt a lump form in her throat..

"the hospital is that way" she said a bit nervously, god she didnt know why being alone with him made her so afraid but not in the sense that she thought he would hurt her, it was more like she didnt trust herself to be around him..

"I know" he said calmly as he drove and he kept his eyes on the road..

"Um i really need to get back" she finally said as he continued to drive, he didnt speak as he drove.."When Rex wakes up" she began and he looked at her now..

"mikey will call when that happens, we still need to talk about the other day" he was being serious again and she sighed..She didnt want to talk about the other day anymore..

"i think we talked enough" she began and he hit the brake hard, slamming the car into park as her eyes got wide but all he did was get out and she felt her heart race, what the hell was he doing? He opened her car door and again she felt like this was going to be a nasty drag out fight..

"come on i want to show you something" he held his hand out to her and she looked at him.."Please" he said with a roll of his eyes, she sighed again and got out, finally noticing where they were, it was the boardwalk, she looked at him confused as he took her hand and began to walk..

"what are we doing here" she said with confusion..

"i can be normal" he said almost dryly and now she laughed..

"you brought me to the beach to prove your normalcy?" she couldnt help but laugh as he looked at her..He looked so damn serious..

"you know you really do talk too much" he said as he continued to walk and she gave in, might as well let him prove his normalcy, she could almost laugh at the situation. As they got to the sand he let go of her hand and began to take off his shoes as she watched him..

"your really serious" she said with shock as he took off his socks and began to roll up the bottom of his jeans..He didnt speak and she followed suit, taking off her sneakers and socks as she rolled up her pants.."You know its after sundown, we'll probably get kicked out or ticketed" she said a bit nervously..

"well its a good thing i have a cop with me" he now smirked as she held her shoes and he did the same, he took her free hand and began walking again as the cool sand covered their feet..He really was like two different guys all the time, it was hard to keep up with his emotions, they walked as the sound of the crashing waves got closer, she hadnt been to the beach in years and the last time she was at this particular beach, well, she had been like 16 years old...

They walked in relative silence down the beach, it was actually quite beautiful, it was a clear night and then moon hit the water in such a way it was breath taking..Natalie couldnt help but smile, what she hadnt noticed is that John was looking at her..

"so you do like walks on the beach" he grinned proudly and she shook her head as she blushed, thankful for the dark night to hide her appearance..

"it is quite nice" she said honestly and he stopped, placing his shoes on the ground he took a seat in the sand as she stood and then quickly sat down..

"this is normal" he said as he looked out to the water..

"ok you got me, this is normal" she said with a laugh and he looked at her..

"do i really have you?" his voice was serious again and she swallowed hard as she looked away from him..

"i havent been to the beach in years" she changed the subject as she looked out at the water.."I use to come here when i was younger"

"I did too" he said with a hint of sadness in his voice, it made her feel bad, why was he so damn broken?.."I dont get to anymore though, too busy"

"yeah about that" she said as she looked at him now.."what exactlly do you do, i mean a hundred grand is alot to drop on a dime" she said honestly..

"you could of paid it yourself, why didnt you" he asnswered by asking another question..

"I asked you first" she said with a raised eyebrow, what was he hiding?

"so what else do you like" he completely ignored her questioning..

"how come you dont ever answer me" she said with a sigh..

"you really want me to get into the boring legistics of the stock market" he said dryly..

"so you invest?" she said with shock, she wasnt expecting that, she was expecting something , well darker..

"shocking huh" he grinned..

"well yeah" she said honestly..

"you were expecting bank robberies or embezzlement?" he smirked..

"possibly" she smiled, this was actually, well normal..

"thats just on the weekends and holidays" he winked at her, god he could be so cute and laid back when he wanted to be.."so now that i answered, its your turn, what else do you like?"

"i dont really get to do much of anything with work and all" she suddenly felt like a loser, god she really didnt have a life at all..

"so your telling me that the daughter of one of the richest men in lanview doesnt get to go out and enjoy life, now that is a shame" he said seriously..

"havent you ever heard the saying that there is plenty of time to play after all the work is done" she said with a nervous laugh..

"and what if work is never done" he asked with a serious look..

"well then you end up sitting at home alone, eating tv dinners and watching late night soap operas as your life passes you by" she said a bit dryly and his hand reached up and brushed a piece of her hair back from her eye, just that small touch ignited something deep inside her, she felt her heart race..

"sounds kind of pitiful" he said low and she shrugged her shoulders.."You have no idea what you have done to me, do you" her eyes got wide as she looked at him, woo where the hell did that come from..His face moved closer to hers, slowly and she braced herself, he was going to kiss her, the sound of his phone going off loudly made him pull back as he pulled it from his pocket and quickly answered, she stood now, she felt like she couldnt breath..

"Yeah... thats great... were on our way" he said with an upbeat voice and then he hung up, she looked at him..."Rex is awake" her eyes got wide as shock passed through her, she didnt think she heard him right.."we should go" he stood now too..

"he's awake, like really awake?" she said with excitement and emotion in her voice..

"and talking, apparently alot" John grinned and Natalie couldnt help the tears that began to slip out of her eyes, he was ok, he was gonna be ok.."hey...i told you it would be ok"

"I know, its just..." she said as she turned from him as a few tears dropped, she hated to cry in front of him, it was embarassing even considering the circumstances...

"come on lets head back, im sure he has alot to say to you" he said as he reached down and grabbed her shoes, all she could do was nod her head, she was going to see her baby brother and he was ok..


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Rex was back to his normal bubbly self with the exception of the IV's still hooked in him, he was in great spirits and the pain medicine was apparently doing its job as he rambled on and on, Natalie was just so very happy that he was alive and ok, he could ramble all he wanted..

She was aware of the stares she got from her father even though he kept his mouth shut, she had been gone for a few hours and she knew he was putting two and two together but for the sake of their mother and well his reputation he didnt say anything for now, she knew he would though, his constant staring was a tell tale sign of things to come...

"and then i saw this light, it was bright and white, i think i died" rex said with a huge grin..Natalie rolled her eyes and nudged him as he groaned dramatically and for a second her heart got stuck in her throat but then he smiled that big cheesy smiled she loved..."gotta love these pain meds but more importantly when can i get my sponge bath" he smirked..

"Rex!" his mother said with shock and then she laughed..

"we are really glad your ok son" Clint said in a softer voice then he usually does, it seemed to surprise them all.."I want you to know that the police are on the lookout for the guy who did this, are you sure you cant remember any more details of the robbery" he began and Rex kept his mouth shut..

"sweetheart lets not bombard him with questions just yet" Vicki said as she looked at her husband who quickly got quiet.."Lets go see if we can bring him home" Vicki took her husbands arm as Rex watched them..Vicki then rubbed Rex's arm and then with a gentle squeeze her and Clint went off to find a doctor, once out of ear shot Rex looked at natalie who was sitting in a nearby chair..

"Ok so why am i lying to them" he began as Natalie looked at him and made her way over..

"You know why rex, this wasnt a robbery" she said with a shake of her head.."what the hell were you thinking, i should kick your ass!" she kept her voice low but there was no denying that she was mad..

"You wouldnt hit an injured guy would you" he pouted dramatically.."and besides i have never seen Clint and Vicki so...so...what exactlly are they doing?" he smirked with shock..

"they were worried Rex, we all were" Natalie said quickly..

"wow, the Buch's worried about me now that is a first, if i knew all it would take is a gun shot and almost dying" he began with a smile..

"rex, dont" she said quickly as she stared at him with a serious look.."this is serious, you could of died" her voice was stricken with grief..

"believe me that wasnt my intention" he began as she sighed..

"why the hell did you come back to AC Rex, you promised me" she said as she paced now..He didnt answer as he watched her, she was really upset and he choose to keep his mouth shut..

"Im sorry nat, im sorry i made you worry" he finally said low and she looked at him.."You drove all the way here?"

"we all did" she began as he looked at her..

"How did you find out, i mean the last thing i remember is, well... laying on the ground" he said low as he thought about giving it more time before he joked about this..

Natalie got lost in thought as she remembered John coming to her job, and then she thought about the drive, then the dinner and normalcy at the beach.."Earth to nat" Rex began as she snapped out of her thoughts..

"John's brother is a doctor, he works here" she said quickly, hoping he wouldnt ask anymore but this was Rex she was talking about, his eyes got wide..

"Oh, so really you owe me a thank you" he said with a grin..

She looked at him confused.."what for, you almost died" she said honestly..

"yeah but apparently my death brought you closer to a certain someone, so...well your welcome" he adjusted himself in the bed more..

Natalie rolled her eyes at him.."seriously Rex, you are delusional"

"Hey i may be a little hopped up on this morphine but i know that look, you and John have been knocking boots" he grinned..

"what...No" she said defensively as her face got red.."he drove me here that was all, end of story, god rex" she turned from him and thought about the almost kiss again at the beach, the mood was different then the other times, he was softer, more normal, god she had wanted to kiss him so bad...

"you know you never did tell me what happened between you two back at his place" he smirked..

"Rex" she said in a warning tone..

"Ok fine i will drop it, for now only cause i am tired" he said with a yawn as their parents walked back in the room, a huge smile on Vickis face..

"I got great news Rex, the doctor said you can come home tomorrow" she grinned big.."and" she said as she looked at her husband and then him.."me and your father would like you to come stay at lanfair with us for a little while" she looked more then pleased and Natalie and Rex looked at them with shocked eyes...

"You need to make a full recovery son" Clint finally said as Rex grinned big..

"Oh mom, dad... i love you both" Rex said with a super cheesy smile as natalie fought the urge to roll her eyes, he never referred to them as mom and dad, he was definitely playing this up. Vick walked over with tears in her eyes and hugged him softly..

"we love you too Rex" she said as she hugged him and Clint stood off to the side, looking like stone as he stared at natalie..She quickly looked away..

This was a dream come true for Rex, he finally was getting the loving family and the huge house, not to mention they were stinking rich, he could definitely make this work to his advantage, natalie saw the look in his eye but she kept her mouth shut..

"were going to get a hotel room for the night and then be back first thing in the morning" Clint said as he looked at Rex..

"Ok dad" he smiled and Natalie again fought the urge to roll her eyes, Clint forced a smile..

"we should let Rex sleep" Vicki said as she rubbed his arm.."we will be back in the morning ok sweetie" she said in a very motherly tone as she looked at her son..

"Ok i am tired" Rex yawned again as his eyes began to close..

"see you in the morning Rex" Natalie said as she leaned down and kissed his cheek.."behave yourself" she whispered in his ear so only he could hear, now he rolled his eyes at her..

She made her way out of the room with her parents, her dad finally looked at her as they began to walk down the hall.."you can stay with us at the hotel" he said matter of factly as she swallowed hard, god he was so pissed at her..

"I heard he is being discharged tomorrrow" a familar voice said as Natalie looked up to see John coming over, she immediately stiffened as did her dad..Her mother on the other hand smiled..

"You must be John Mcbain, your brother is quite the doctor" she said with a smile as she stretched out her hand, John shook it..

"it's nice to meet you Mrs. Buchanan" he said as Clint absolutely looked like he was going to rip off Johns head..

"we were just leaving" Clint said in a stern voice that held no friendliness..

John looked to natalie and smiled.."can i talk to you?" he asked super sweetly and she swallowed hard..

"i think its been a long night for everyone" Clint gritted his teeth, unbeknownst to Vicki..

"we'll go get the car" Vicki said as she tugged on her husbands arm, apparently wanting to give natalie and john a moment..Clint stood still as he stared at natalie and then John.."come on dear, lets give them a minute" she tugged a little bit more, apparently she was taking his demeanor as him being the over protective father..

Clint lightened some.."meet us outside in 3 minutes" he said as he turned from them,now John rolled his eyes as her parents walked away..

Natalie fidgeted with her hands, she hated that he made her feel like a school girl with a crush, she hadnt been this nervous around a guy in forever and that was definitely saying something..

"so i could probably wrangle up some poetry at my place" John grinned as he looked at her..

"I um really have to go" she said but part of her wanted to stay with him but then that would lead to something and she wasnt ready to deal with that something, john was in a league all his own..

"to go hang with your parents in a stuffy hotel room" he said a bit sarcastically as he raised his eyebrows at her..

"Listen my dad is pissed right now" she began..

He rolled his eyes.."something tells me that he is pissed alot"

"well then you two have something in common" she said dryly and his face got serious as he looked at her..

"come back to my place with me" he asked in a very seductive tone that had her stiffen slightly..."listen before you start with the excuses i will offer you this" he began and she fidgeted some more.."I promise to keep these hands right here" he shoved them in his pockets as he grinned.."unless you beg me otherwise" he smirked now..

"my parents" she began..

"oh im sure they will be just fine without you, must i remind you that your an adult now" he raised his eyebrow.."I could play nice with your father"

"Oh i think i would rather you just avoid him all together" she said honestly..

"Ok i can do that too" he smiled big...

"Listen i have to go, really" she said as she looked at him..

"alright then" he said as he looked at her..

Natalie knew that she had to leave right now before she changed her mind, she turned from him quickly.."goodnight John" she said as she kept walking and headed straight out of the hospital and straight to the waiting car..

Once she got inside her mother smiled at her.."now he is a nice young man" she said with a smile as her father glared at her, Natalie swallowed hard deciding not to comment as they all took off to the hotel..

The drive to the hotel was uncomfortable and awkward but her mother didnt seem to pick up on this as she went on and on about how happy she was that Rex was ok. It was nice to see her parents caring about Rex for once, it made the guilt a little less to bear.. Her father barely said a word except the occassional nod in agreement, she would eventually have to try and smooth things over with him, she just had to..

She was glad when her father ordered two seperate rooms but he made sure natalie's was right next to them, god how she felt like a child again and she was 25 years old! She said a quick goodnight to them as her father quickly made his way into his room and Natalie sulked as she walked to her own room, this was definitely going to be a long night..

He hadnt spared any expense on the room, it was very nice, fully stocked and decorated, it was almost like a mini apartment, she sighed heavily as she kicked off her shoes and sat on the edge of the bed, her mind going back to John, she oculd almost laugh at how ridiculous all of this was, the sound of a knock on the door made her jump and then she sucked in a deep breath, this was it, she just knew her father was going to rip into her, she quickly got up and headed to the door, trying to contemplate what to say to him as she opened it but much to her surprise it wasnt her father at all, it was John..

"expecting someone else" he smirked as she looked at him with shock..

"oh my god what are you doing here" she said as she looked around nervously in the hall, he had followed them to the hotel, why?

"it would probably be best to let me in, i mean if your dad hears me" she began and she didnt think twice as she ushered him inside, he was right if her father heard them it would be world war 3 up in that hotel, she quickly closed the door as he stepped in further.."nice place, your dad didnt spare any expense" he said as he touched the leather couch..

Natalie fidgeted uncomfortably.."You really shouldnt be here"

"well you only said you wouldnt go back to my place" he began as he walked over to a small bar that was in the livingroom, he began to make a drink.."want one?" he peered over at her, she was still in shock.."I'll take that as a yes" he said as he poured two drinks..

"maybe i didnt make myself clear" she began nervously as he finished pouring the drinks and he walked over to her, holding a drink out to her..

"Oh you did" he said as he sipped the drink and then began walking around the ridiculously large hotel room..

Natalie now took a hearty sip of her drink, wow it was strong, she coughed some as he looked at her.."You dont take no for an answer do you" she said more of a statement as he looked at her..

"You didnt exactlly say no" he grinned as he walked back over to her.."But if you really want me to go" he began and she sighed..

"John listen" she began..

He cut her off.."somewhere ages and ages hence:Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled by,And that has made all the difference." he began as she looked at him confused.."Robert Frost?" he said with a cock of his head, she looked at him blanky.."he's a poet natalie"

"Oh" she began and then her eyes got wide.."Oh" she said again, he knew poetry now that was surprising..

"Do you know how far back i had to search my mind for that, i think it was like 10th grade or something" he smirked..

"well then thats just ancient" she laughed and he looked serious.."Im kidding" she said again and his face lightened up some.."i was kind of joking about the poetry part" she began..

"I kind of see that now" he looked a bit embarassed as he stood there.."so how about tv then?" he walked over to the massive tv in the room and turned it on as she watched him in shock, he was just making himself right at home..He flipped through the channels as she watched him.."see anything you like?" he raised an eyebrow at her as he flipped through the channels but she knew he was referring to something other then tv, she felt herself flush..

"actually im tired" she swallowed hard..

"Now thats more like it" he grinned and she flushed even more..

"I didnt mean" she began nervously..

"im kidding, maybe your the one who needs to lighten up" he smirked as he sat on the very large leather couch..She just stood and looked at him..He patted next to him.."you know you can sit, i dont bite" he began as he looked at her.."not much anyways" he smirked as her eyes got wide.."these hands will stay right here" he said as he held the glass in one hand and put the other one in his lap..

Natalie sighed as she walked over, she took a seat on the couch but she stayed on the other side of it..He smiled.."ive always wanted to test out my will power" he winked at her..

Natalie swallowed hard again..."fine, one show"

"now that i can do" he said as he flipped through the channels some more, stopping at House and putting the remote control down as he sipped his drink.."this is a good show" he looked at her..

"its ok" she said as she sat uncomfortably on the couch, damn he looked way too good..John looked back at the tv as he continued to drink, she finally spoke as they watched the show.."how come you never became a doctor like your brother"

He looked at her now.."You really want to know?" he raised an eyebrow at her..

"actually yeah" she said honestly..

"I cant stand the sight of blood" he grinned and she laughed now, she laughed hard.."what?"

"I just find it funny that something actually freaks you out" she laughed some more, she assumed he wasnt afraid of anything..

"well i dont particularly like horror movies either and dont get me started on rollercoasters" he said with a grin..

"Your scared of a rollercoaster?" she said between laughs..

"well im glad you find that entertaining Miss Natalie" he smirked, she laughed some more.."You really should do that more often"

"do what?" she said as her laughing calmed down..

"smile...laugh,...it looks good on you" he said seriously..Now she rolled her eyes.."You and those eyes" he rolled his as he looked at her.."so now that you know what scares me, its your turn"

"My turn?" she said with a shake of her head..

"fair is fair Natalie" he said with a smirk...

"something tells me that you dont play fair very often" she said with a sarcastic laugh..

"neither do you" he said seriously..

"what? Your crazy" she laughed, she was actually enjoying his company, which was odd..

He shifted on the couch so that he was now resting his head on his hand as he looked at her, god he looked so damn cute like that, it was very misleading, she rolled her eyes as she looked at him with a smile..

"so im waiting, what scares you" he smirked..

"You" she laughed and he looked at her a bit confused.."you scare me" he said as she stood now and he cocked his head to the side..He stood now as she walked her cup over to the sink, she really needed to stop drinking, she could already feel a buzz coming on, damn that drink was hard..

"would you like to elaborate on that" he said as he walked over to her..

"No" she said with a nervous laugh..She glanced at his hands and then at him, he was holding up his end of the bargain, he wasnt trying to touch her but damn it she wanted him to..He walked closer to her and put his drink down, now he shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked at her and he grinned..

"You dont play very fair" he finally said as he stood there..

"it must be something in the water" she said with a nervous laugh..

"fair enough" he said as he walked closer, his hand still hidden from her..She swallowed hard.."I should go" he said low but with a playfullness to his voice, he was so close now, she couldnt find any words.."goodnight natalie" his voice was deep and full of desire as he walked past her..

She took a deep breath and held it as she stood there, not facing him..

"You know this normal thing isnt too bad" he said and now she slowly turned to face him, he was by the door.."we should do it again sometime" he grinned and then she watched as he left and she let out the air she was holding in, what the hell was she doing?


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

The following day back in lanview after a long two hour drive, John found himself back at his club and he was doing something he hadnt done in years, he was whisteling and happy, he actually felt happy and that didnt happen very often.. He had actually enjoyed his time with her and had controlled himself surprisingly enough but what got him was the fact that he didnt feel bad, he felt bad the majority of the time but right now at this moment he felt good, really good..

"Holy shit thats you whisteling" the sound of Steele's voice made him turn as his friend looked at him with wide eyes..

"hey buddy, hows it going" John said as he beamed from ear to ear..

Steele's eyes got bigger.." ok now your scaring me, your happy too? Holy shit where is my friend and what did you do to him" he said with a sarcastic laugh..

"Seriously Bro you need to lighten up sometimes" John said as he walked to his office, Steele followed with a ridiculous perplexed look on his face..

"are you feeling ok?" he said with confusion..

"actually i feel great" John said honestly as he sat at his desk and leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head..

"Okay" Steele said suspiciously.."I take it that everything went good in AC, her brother is ok?" he was still looking at him with a watchful eye..

"Yep" John grinned..

"are you high?" Steele asked seriously as John looked at him confused..

"what?" he cocked his head to the side..

"Like on drugs" Steele said as he carefully inspected his friend, he hadnt seen him act like this in well forever..

"are you on drugs?" John asked as he looked at his friend..

"bro this is weird i feel like i am in the twilight zone or something, first your whisteling, then smiling, what in the hell has gotten into you" Steele looked completely and utterly flabbergasted.."i think i need a drink" Steele said honestly..

"You never drink this early" John said as he looked at his watch..

"Yeah well i think i need one" Steele said as he reached for the bottle..

Natalie sat in her Uncles office as he debriefed her on a case but her mind was elsewhere, it was on John and how nice last night had turned out, it was odd to feel this relaxed and comfortable, she even found herself smiling..

"are you listening to me?" Her uncle said as she snapped herself from the memories of the night before..

"Yes, the johnson file, got it" she said quickly as he stared at her..

"are you ok, you seem kind of out of it" Bo said suspiciously..

"Im fine, is that all cause i really have alot of stuff to do" she said nervously, she seriously had to get her head in the game and stop smiling that goofy smile, people were gonna start talking..

"You know Natalie as happy as I am that Rex is ok, thank god" Bo began.."I cant help but feel like i am missing something here"

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.."Robberies happen all the time in AC" she tried to be nonchalant..

"Yeah but nothing was taken from him, not even his wallet" he said a bit suspiciously..

"Not like they would of gotten anything had they taken it Uncle Bo" she said seriously and he settled some in his seat...

"You know maybe your right" he relaxed some.."but on another note do you want to explain to me why you have been hanging around that man from the club"

Natalie tried to play stupid.."what guy?"

Bo's face got long as he looked at her.."you know who i am talking about, Mr. Mcbain, you know how your father feels about this"

"He's just a friend Uncle Bo, i dont know what the big deal is" she said as she swallowed hard, she knew exactlly what the big deal was..

"Your 25 years old, i get that Natalie but i also know what his kind means" he said with a serious tone..She didnt say anything.."the last thing this family needs is more drama" he looked at her and she sighed..

"Im not doing anything wrong" she said a bit defensively.."i understand where you all are coming from but honestly its nothing to worry about, trust me ok" she said to him, she hated her uncle looking at her like that, if anything she hated it more then when her father looked at her like that, her uncle had been like a father to her..

"Listen i was young once too" Bo said with a smile and she felt completely uncomfortable talking to him about this, she just wanted to leave his office, she stood now as he looked at her.."he has a very shady past natalie" she looked at him wondering what he knew that she didnt cause when she had tried to look at his background she had seen nothing except the fact that he had been in the military..

"arent we not suppose to judge people" she said quickly..

"Im not saying this as your Boss Natalie, im saying this as your uncle, your friend" he said as he stood now.."Im concerned about you getting involved with this man"

"Im not getting involved with anyone, why does everyone keep on saying that" she said nervously..

"Cris told me about you working with him and with his friend" he began as her eyes got wide..

"what?" she said in shock, oh she was so going to kill Cris when he got back, how dare he go to her uncle about things they spoke about in private..

"he was worried about you Natalie, we all are" he said as he walked around his desk..

"Unbelievable, so now i cant be trusted, now im just irresponsible and reckless" she said with a bit of anger, she couldnt believe he was talking to her like she was a child..

"i didnt say that sweetheart, im just saying" he took a deep breath.."Im saying that you need to be careful with who you deal with" he let out a sigh..

"Are we done here" she said quickly, she was done with this conversation..She put her arms protectively over her chest..

"natalie im not saying" he began..

"I know exactlly what you are saying Uncle Bo and what i do with my life is my business, no one elses and Cris certainly had no right to run off to you with anything" she said angrily..

"see this is what i didnt want to happen" he began...

"How do you expect me to react when i am being interogated" she snapped...

"Im concerned" he said softly..

"dont be, im a big girl and i can take care of myself" she huffed.."are we done here?" she said again as she looked at him, he didnt answer her and she spun for the door.."i will have the johnson file on your desk by morning" she said as she left in a hurry, she should of seen this coming, she was pissed!

Natalie was irritated for the rest of the afternoon, she hated that everyone thought they knew what was best for her, this was her life, she made her own decisions and granted she knew that getting involved with someone such as John would be a risk but hell, she wasnt involved with him yet, not really anyway, actually she hadnt heard from him at all and she was beginning to wonder if maybe he was regretting the night before..

Steele was on his second glass of scotch and for Steele to be drinking this early, well it was definitely something..

"so let me get this straight your going to try and date her" he said as he looked at John with wide eyes..

"why not?" John shrugged his shoulders..

"Oh i could think of plenty of reasons, i mean dont get me wrong i think she is a good girl and by that i mean way too good" Steele began as John rolled his eyes.."I mean that in the best possible way"

"Listen i completely understand the ramifications of this, i like her" John said honestly..

"you like her enough to completely abandon your lifestyle?" Steele said with a questioning look.."Listen John im not trying to be a downer here, im happy that you feel so compelled about this, im just..im worried man"

"Ive spent the last ten years or so completely miserable and i finally have a chance at something good" John said seriously.."I just need to kind of tweak somethings, thats all" he began as Steele looked at him..

"tweak somethings?" he raised an eyebrow at him..

"im capable of having something normal Steele" he said defensively..

"im not trying to say you cant im just saying that when you try to pretend to be someone your not" Steele began as John stood now, completely frustrated, he wanted this, he did. He liked Natalie and he really believed that if he tried hard enough they could have something worth while..

"i think we should stop talking about this" he said seriously as Steele sighed.."i know what i am doing" he said sternly..

"Fine...fine...i support you in whatever you do, you know that" Steele said as he put his hands up in a defeated kind of motion..

Natalie buried herself in work as she tried to finish up her paperwork on the Johnson file, the sound of knocking on her door made her look up, she had been waiting on the draft of some of the files from the case, maybe this was them..."Come in" she called out as the door opened but her eyes got wide as she saw john standing there, she immediately felt her heart race, he was at her job, in her office..

"hey" he said as he closed her door and she blinked in surprise some more..

"hi" she said as she stood now, god she was so nervous..

"so i was in the neighborhood" he began and she watched as he spoke nervously, was he really nervous? Now this was definitely new..

"oh" she couldnt find any words to say..

"how's rex?" he made small talk...

"He's um good, at my parents place recovering" she said as she fidgeted with her hands..

"good maybe he will stay out of trouble then" he said as he walked over and glanced at a chair then at her..He sat down as she stood.."so you had a nice ride back?" he was being so normal it actually threw her for a loop..

"Yeah" she said slowly as she looked at him, he was dressed in a casual pair of jeans and a button down shirt, he looked good, really good..

"you look very cop like today" he said as he looked at her in her navy blue uniform, she blushed some..

"well i am a cop" she said with a nervous laugh..

"Do you want to go to dinner with me" he finally blurted out, catching her by surprise..

"im sorry what" she said with surprise..

"Dinner? You and me, i'll let you pick this time" he began and her eyes got wide, he was really trying to have a casual conversation with her, it was almost laughable..

"Ok let me get this straight, you want me to go and have dinner with you, like...like a date or something" she said nervously and he smiled now as he ran his hand through his hair..

"yeah i guess so, it would kind of be like a date" he seemed to speak with confusion..

"John listen i dont" she began nervously..

He stood now and looked at her.."Just two normal people having dinner" he said quickly and she looked at him confused, did he just really say that..."and by the way it looks like you could have some fun" he smirked some..

"we have very different ideas of fun John" she said honestly and he ran a hand through his hair..She looked at him as he stood there, damn it she wanted to go with him more then anything, maybe they could just be normal, i mean he was trying really hard, why she wasnt so sure but what the hell.."ok fine" she blurted out and he looked at her a bit surprised..

"Ok then, i could pick you up around 8-ish" he said as she nodded her head.."alright, so 8 O'clock it is" he said again as if he was giving her an out if she wanted it.."Im gonna go" he said with a smile as he glanced at the door..

"Ok" she said with a nervous smile..He stared at her for another second and then turned for the door, her heart was racing a mile a minute..

"think of somewhere you want to eat" he said as he opened the door..

"will do" she nervously fidgeted and then he left and she stood there completely shocked, she was going to have dinner with John, like really have dinner, she was beyond nervous and anxious..

Leaving work Natalie was getting stares from everyone, she was sure they had all noticed who had come to pay her a visit even though no one said anything, well atleast not to her face, whispering could be heard as she took off for home, trying to ignore the looks she was recieving.

She was a bundle of nerves and excitement as she got ready for her date, she couldnt believe she had a date, honestly she hadnt dated in years and now she was going out on a date with a man who could potentially disrupt her life as she knew it.

She tried on a million and one outfits as she tried to pick the right one, she finally settled on a pair of black dress pants and a form fitting white button down shirt, it screamed business casual but she didnt care, it was the only outfit she felt comfortable in.. She fidgeted with her hair, should she put it up or down, hell she had no idea, she laughed out loud at the situation, chastizing herself, this was only a damn date, no big deal!

The sound of a knock on her door immediately made her stiffen, crap she hadnt even though of where to go and eat and living in a small town that was hard to do, the thought of someone seeing them out somewhere, she didnt even want to think about that, she was sure her father was going to blow a gasket, she just hoped he was so busy with Rex to notice.

She sucked in a deep breath and made her way to the door, peeping through the hole she saw him standing there, he had on a dark blue silk button down shirt and black slacks, god he looked amazing, she still couldnt believe she was heading out with him, he had his back turned to her and she stared for another minute and then finally got up the courage to open the door as he turned slowly, a smile on his face and flowers in his hand, her eyes got wide..He had brought her flowers!

"its been awhile since i have done this" he seemed almost nervous as he stood there holding flowers in his hands. He actually had no idea how to do this, he had never actually been on a real date with anyone, Steele had convinced him to bring the flowers and now with her wide eyes staring at him he felt foolish.."here" he handed them to her..

"their beautiful, thank you but you didnt have to" she began as she inhaled the scent of the flowers, this was nice, really nice..

"You look pretty" he said as he looked at her, he could never get sick of looking at her, she blushed some under his stare..

"Come on in, i will just put these in water" she said nervously as she stepped from the door and he walked in, she immediately walked to the kitchen, her hands were literally shaking..

"Did you pick a place to go tonight" he asked as he followed her in the kitchen and she nearly dropped the vase she had grabbed..

"Um...i um" she rambled some nervously as he grinned..

"thats ok i have a place in mind" he said matter of factly as he stood in the doorway, she placed the flowers in the vase and then put them on the kitchen table, she couldnt believe how freaking nervous she was..

"Ok" she said quickly as she tried to act as normal as possible, now she was the one acting like a freak..

"shall we?" he moved from the doorway to let her pass..She walked past him and tried to calm herself, this was finally it, she was going on a date with John McBain..

The car ride was quiet except for the radio that played lightly in the background, neither of them speaking. John drove them to the outskirts of Lanview for which she was grateful that there would be no prying eyes upon them, he pulled into a parking lot of a small Japanese restuarant.

"I hope you like Sushi" he said as he pulled into a parking lot..

"actually i do" she said honestly even though she hadnt had it in years, he smiled and began to open his door..

"wait there" he began as he walked around to open her door and she took a final deep breath as he came around and let her out..

Once inside the restuarant he ordered them a bottle Sake as they had taken their seats in a secluded booth, he sat across from her, being a gentleman, she was actually taken by surprise at how nice this was becoming..

"so work was ok?" he asked and she smiled nervously, they were talking about work! Go figure..

"yeah i mean it was alright" she was half tempted to ask him about his day but the thought of what he did for a living and who he could possibly be doing it with made her insides tighten, she looked down quickly..

"whats wrong?"he asked with concern..

"Nothing, this is nice" she said quickly not wanting to ruin their nice evening out..

"The food is really good" he began as she looked at him now..

"You come here alot" she couldnt help the jealousy that poured out of her mouth, did he bring his submissives there, she couldnt help but wonder..

"Occassionally, they have the best sushi in town, you havent been here?" he asked with a bit of surprise..

"I dont really go out much" she said as the realization hit her that she didnt do much of anything but work..

"well good then this is a first for both of us" he began as she looked at him confused..

"you just said you have been here" she said as she looked at him perplexed..

"Yeah but not with anyone, just by myself" he began and she suddenly felt a sense of relief, well that was good, she was beginning to wonder if they were going to run into one of his old playmates here..

"Oh" she said with a bit if surprise..

"that surprises you?" he said as he sipped his drink..

"sort of, you seem like the social butterfly" she said with a nervous smile..

"social butterfly huh" he laughed a little now..."Now that is definitely a first for me"

When the waitress came over he ordered for both of them and she decided to keep her mouth shut, she was going to interupt him but hell he knew this place better then her, she may as well let him order and he didnt seem to think twice about it..

"Your being very quiet" he finally said as they waited for their food..

"Im just letting all of this soak in" she said honestly..

"You really dont get out much do you" he smirked..

"well i go to Rodi's occassionally with the guys from work" she began as his features tensed some..

"Im surprised your not dating anyone from work" he said and she fidgeted nervously in her seat..

"Im not really one for dating, it never really works out" she said honestly...

"I cant imagine why not" he said seriously.."Not that i mind, i would much rather think of you by yourself" he smirked..

"yeah well im sure you go out alot" she said a bit sarcastically as he looked at her..

"actually i dont, and when i do im usually alone" he said seriously and it made her swallow hard, damn he was being serious..He sipped his drink..

"so you dont um, date" she finally said as she sipped her drink and peered at him over the small glass..

"Like this? no... this is definitely a first for me" he said with a smile..She couldnt help but wonder why he was going through all of this trouble, surely he had women back at his club that devulged in his interests, why take someone who wasnt interested in his activites, it confused her.."you look confused" he said honestly..

"I just... i dont quite understand why you would go through all this trouble with me" she said nervously as she looked down at the table, god she felt uncomfortable now, why couldnt she just shut up and enjoy the time they were having..

"Trouble? This isnt trouble for me Natalie" he said with that serious tone again, it made her look up.."I like being around you"

Natalie blushed as she looked at him.."yeah but im not, you know" she had to look away..

"i think thats what makes this that much more interesting" he began..

"Interesting? Like what? A challenge" she couldnt help the slight annoyance in her voice..

"Dont take what i am saying wrong natalie, i dont look at you as a conquest that i need to conquer if that is what is worrying you" he said as he stared at her..The waitress came back with their food.."lets eat" he said with a bit of annoyance in his voice as natalie looked at the plate of food in front of her..

They ate with neither of them speaking, she honestly didnt trust herself not to say something uncomfortable that would threaten their nice time but hell that was hard to do considering the circumstances. They had nearly finished off the sake as he finally at leaned back, placing his fork on his plate, a satisfied grin on his face as he looked at her nearly finished plate..

"well im glad you brought your appetite" he said with a smile..

"the food was wonderful" she said honestly, she hadnt eaten well in the last few days at all..She was a bit surprised that she had eaten as much as she did..

"My dad use to tell me and mikey that we should never waste food for there are those less fortunate in the world" he began and she couldnt help the shocked look in her face, this was the first time he had even mentioned his parents, she wanted to know more, where was his dad and why did he speak in past tense about him..

"he sounds like a wise man, your close with your dad?" she asked and now he looked uncomfortable as he took a long sip of his drink..

"You ready to get out of here, i have something else planned" he said as he ignored her questioning and for now she let it go, apparently talking about his family was off limits for now..

"yeah where are we going?" she said with a soft smile..

"now that is a surprise Miss Natalie" he grinned as he stood and so did she..

"you know i am little nervous with surprises" she said honestly..With John a surprise could mean a whole hell of alot and she didnt know if she could handle his surprises..

"You should be" he winked at her as he took her hand and lead her outside, she felt her heart racing dangerously fast..

He drove as she stared out the window not knowing what to say.."you should close your eyes" he finally spoke and it broke the awkward silence as she looked at him confused.."surprise remember?" he grinned..Her blue eyes got wide.."I could blind fold you?" his words were low and seductive, she felt a tug deep in her belly and she rolled her eyes at him..

"I really dont like surprises" she said as she closed her eyes..

"Oh i think you will like this one" he said as he continued to drive and she kept her eyes closed, desperately wanting to open them but she thought better of it..It was about another ten minutes when he finally stopped the car.."keep them closed" his voice was rough and deep in her ear and now she was glad her eyes were closed, all she did was nod and then she heard the car door open and close, oh god what had she gotten herself into?

She damn near thought she would have a heart attack as she waited anxiously for him to get her from the car, what the heck was he doing? The idea came to her, oh lord what if he was planning on stuffing her in the trunk of his car, the idea nearly made her laugh as the car door opened..

"enjoying yourself" she could hear the grin in his voice..

"You know im not very coordinated with my eyes open" she began as he reached for her arm and helped her out of the car, she hoped she wouldnt fall..

"Your in safe hands Miss Natalie" his voice was sex on wheels, she shook the tingle that ran through her body as he began to walk with her.."No peeking" he said and she forced a smile as they walked, she could feel concrete on the ground, were they in a parking lot? She had no idea where they were, it was frustrating to say the least and exhillirating at the same time..

She heard him open a door and she stepped onto a hard floor, the shoes echoing on the surface, they were inside somewhere, but where? "You know i never said you couldnt speak" he grinned again as he held her arm and she walked cautiously, she wanted to tell him she could only concentrate on one thing at a time, and right now she didnt want to fall..

"so where are we?" she asked with her eyes still closed..

"so impatient" he said as they stopped and she heard a familiar ding, an elevator, she felt her body stiffen..They stepped inside and were immediately hit by the sound of music that flowed out of the tiny speakers, she hated that she couldnt see him, she was oddly sure that he was looking at her and she began to flush, then the idea that he was watching her flush made her flush some more..He didnt say anything as he held onto her arm with a firm grip.."that color looks nice on you" he said in a low hoarse voice and she wanted to die, god this was embarassing and yet hot at the same time, she straightened herself up some..

She wasnt even paying attention to what floor they were on, she was breathing ragged now and finally a ding alerted them to their floor and the doors opened, they stepped out.."Its not much further" he began as they walked down carpeted halls now, suddenly she wondered if he had brought her to a hotel, her stomach began to tighten, another door opened but this time she was hit by cool air, night air and she cocked her head as she tried to figure out what he was doing.."Just a few more steps" he said and then he let go of her arm, it still tingled from where he held her.."Ok you can open them now" he said as she heard him behind her and suddenly now she didnt want to open her eyes at all, she squinted slowly as she began to open her eyes and then much to her surprise she opened them and gasped at the sight before her.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

They were on a rooftop, a very high rooftop, she wasnt even sure which one but the view of the city skyline was absolutely breath taking, the way the city below was lit up, the stars aligned perfectly in the sky, the moon, she couldnt help the gasp that left her mouth..

"It's nice isnt it" he said as she stared some more, looking all around them, they had to be atleast 20 stories up.."Not too many people get to see Lanview like this" he began as she finally looked at him now, her eyes wide..

"this is amazing" she couldnt find any other words as she looked back out to the city below, Lanview actually looked good, real good..Her eyes darted around the rooftop, but it wasnt just any old rooftop, it had a full working bar, a pool with an adjoining jacuzzi, the place was completely empty except for them, it was breathtaking.."wow" she said in shock as he smiled big and then began walking over to the bar.."what is this place" she couldnt help the astonishment in her voice as she looked at him, he grabbed two beers from the bar and cracked them both open..

"Steel Industries" he said as he handed her a beer and her eyes got wide..

"No way" she said in shock and then fear hit her.."were not going to get in trouble being up here are we"

He smiled a devilish grin.."The CEO happens to be a friend of mine, you may remember him and since he has the same name as his company" he smirked and she nearly dropped her beer..

"This company is Steele's? He owns Steel Industries?" she couldnt believe it, this got more and more interesting..

"Well part ownership, im more of a silent partner" he drank his beer nonchalantly and her eyes got wide.."you look shocked"

"Very" she said with her eyes still wide.."You both run Steel Industries? This company hit the top five in Forbes" she said with astonishment..

"we do pretty well i suppose" he said with a shrug of his shoulders..

"This is unbelievable"she honestly didnt know what else to say, this company, Steel Industries was known for making everything and anything solar powered, it was one of the largest independently owned solar powered companies out there, it made Buchanan Enterprise look like some mom and pop shop.."when, how?" she had so many questions, she honestly had no idea and now she felt stupid that she hadnt put two and two together, Steele and Steel but why would she, how could she?

"its a long boring story i assure you" he said as he walked out past her and stopped at the roof and looked out..

"Buchanan Enterprise is completely outfitted with your products" she began as she walked over, my oh my her father would shit if he knew..

"I know" he said nonchalantly again.."i should probably bring that up to your father one day" he looked at her now and winked..

"he would absolutely lose it" she said honestly as she shook her head, she couldnt help the look on her face, it was one of awe, he really was a business man through and through..

"see im not such a bad guy" he smirked as he leaned aganist the railing and looked at her..

"i never said you were a bad guy" she said with a nervous smile..

"actions do speak louder then words Miss Natalie" he grinned and she flushed now, wow she had been very judgemental of him, she suddenly felt embarassed at her own behaviour..He moved past her again, his arm brushing into hers as he walked over to a table by the pool, he put his beer down and began to take off his shoes as she watched in shock, she didnt say anything as he took off his socks and then reached for his shirt..

"what are you doing?" she finally blurted out as he unbuttoned his shirt and slid it over his muscular shoulders, she suddenly felt like she was drooling as she looked at him, god damn he looked good in the moonlight..

"Going for a swim" he said as he began to unbuckle his belt and her eyes got wide, she quickly turned now so she wasnt facing him, her heart racing.."are you gonna join me?"

"Now? I didnt bring a swimsuit" she said with a nervous laugh even though she was half sure he didnt either, she didnt dare turn around, she couldnt..Then a splash was heard and she spun her head around as the water in the pool shifted and moved, he was in the damn water and his clothes were on the ground, she clutched onto her beer some more..He popped up a second later, his hair wet and against his face, he smoothed it back with his well sculpted arms, Damn!

"its heated" he grinned as he swam to the side of the pool and then leaned his arms on it as he looked at her..

"you brought swim trunks with you" even as she spoke the words she knew the answer..

He grinned.."dont need to, come on its nice" he kept looking at her.."do you not have a bra and panties on?" he asked with a grin and she flushed from ear to ear..

"im sorry, what?" she said with a nervous laugh..

"bra and panties, you can swim in that" he said again..

"what, no" she began to laugh, god she was so embarassed..

"no as in you didnt wear any or no you dont want to" he cocked his head as he stared at her..

"im not going swimming in my bra and panties" she said nervously..

"why not, just pretend its a bathing suit" he said with a perplexed look..She began to ramble some and he smiled.."You've never gone swimming before?"

"i didnt say that" she said quickly..

"so then whats the big deal" he continued his stare..

"it just doesnt seem very appropriate" she squeaked out..

"Im not asking you to go in naked, i wouldnt argue if you did though" he grinned big and she flushed some more.."anyways whats more normal then a swim" he raised an eyebrow as she contemplated what he was saying.."I could make you" his voice was low and serious, then he winked at her and she felt embarassed all over again, what the hell it was just to swim and it was normal-ish, wasnt it? Its not like he was asking her to be chained up or anything.."so what do you say?" he smirked..

"its heated?" she asked as she walked closer, the night air chilled her skin..He nodded his head yes and then dove back under the water, she took the opportunity to quickly and clumsily strip out of her clothes, he swam to the other side of the pool, his back to her and she was grateful for that, she honestly couldnt believe she was doing this, she was getting into a pool with him in her underwear, she put down her beer and nervously walked over to the edge of the pool, she dipped her toe in, god it was warm and then he turned slowly, his eyes feasting on her body as she stood there and then without thinking she jumped in wanting to hide her body from him as fast as she could..

The water shocked her body as she entered it and immediately she came up coughing and sputtering as he swam over..

"that was graceful" he grinned and she laughed and then splashed some water at him as he swam over, she pushed her wet hair back..She only had her head above water as she sunk into it, trying desperately to forget she was in her underwear as he came over, the pool was lit though and as he got closer she immediately noticed that he didnt have his underwear on, oh no he was as naked as the day he was born, she quickly looked up, hoping he hadnt noticed her staring..

"see? Nice, right?" he said as he bobbed in the water a few feet from her..

"its not so bad" she said with a nervous smile and then he was swimming away from her as she let out the breath she had been holding, he resurfaced across the pool and she swam over to the edge and held on, by the time she spun around he was right in front of her, god he looked smoking hot..

"Cant you swim?" he asked as she held onto the side of the pool..

"yes i can swim" she said with a roll of her eyes and within seconds he grabbed her by the waist..

"good" he grinned and then much to her suprise he threw her out in the water and she engulfed a mouth full of it as she went under, she came up coughing and laughing as she tried to stay afloat but the water was much too deep, he came swimming over, a grin on his face.."Your suppose to close your mouth" he smirked some..

"if i had a proper warning" she said as she coughed some more and then laughed..

"some of the best things are unexpected" he spoke as he swam right up to her, his voice deep and low.."dont drown on me" he said as he reached for her and pulled her against him as he held her with one arm, she was very much aware that he was butt ass naked, not to mention his arm was securely around her hips as he held her on his side.."better?" he said as he kept them both afloat..

"Yes" she swallowed hard, his face was right there, so was his lips, he used his other hand to smooth back some of her hair as he looked at her... Her body immediately reacted to the closeness and feeling his body against hers.."it is a nice pool" she felt like she had to say something, he licked his lips slowly..

"its a great pastime" he said low as he kept his hand on her hair longer then needed, his grip tightened on her waist and she swallowed the lump in her throat..She kept her hands at her sides, she hadnt even noticed he was moving them across the pool as she stared at him, her eyes begging for him to kiss her but he did the opposite, he let go of her as they reached the side of the pool, his breathing a bit ragged as he said.."stay right there" and then he was swimming across the pool as she watched, then her eyes got wide as he pulled himself out gracefully, her eyes landing on his perfect ass, his naked ass as he confidently walked over to retrieve their beers, when he turned she immediately spun around, her own breathing labored as she heard him reenter the pool, she was on fire.."thirsty?" he said as he neared her and she looked at him now..

"yes please" she said as she took the beer from him and took a hearty sip as he grinned and did the same.."You know you are a surprising man Mr. McBain" she said a bit playfully as she drank her beer..

"i do have my moments Miss Buchanan" he grinned as he sipped his beer..He leaned his arm on the cement as he held his beer and looked at her, her eyes darted to the tattoo branded around his arm, it was a tribal band of sorts and it looked amazing, just like him.."have any tattoos Miss Buchanan" he said in a flirty tone..

"maybe one day" she blushed some and quickly drank more of her beer, he was so close, he looked so damn good..

"Oh yeah and what did you have in mind?" he looked genuinely interested..

"Im not sure, i had wanted to get something in memory of my mom, well the woman who raised me" she said nervously..

"it must of been really hard to go through what you did, you were lucky to have the Buchanans to take you in" he said honestly and she smiled some as she rolled her eyes at him.."your background it was quite extensive" he began and she felt nervous now, she had almost forgotten that he had read her background, how much did he know about her and yet she knew barely nothing about him..

"You know its not really fair that you know so much about me" she said honestly and he seemed to tense some, apparently he didnt like talking much about his past, that made her think about what her uncle said about his shady past..

"i dont like to broadcast my life" he said with a straight face..

"I dont either" she said quickly, a bit of annoyance crossing her features..Would he ever tell her anything about him?

"another?" he said as he tried to change the subject, and well now she was annoyed..

"No i think im good now" she said as she moved past him and began to reach the end of the pool, suddenly she wanted nothing more then to leave..

"Your mad?" he asked as she got out of the pool, oddly not caring about her lack of clothes as she reached for them and awkwardly began to put them on..He too got out but she didnt look at him.."Natalie i like to keep my life private" he said low and she fought with her shirt as she tried to get it on her wet body..

"How is it you can know all about me but yet you dont devulge any information at all about yourself" she said with a bit of attitude..He quickly began to put on his pants in a huff, he was getting mad..

"it was public record natalie, i didnt do anything that some schmo off the street couldnt do with a few bucks" he said with attitude..

"Oh so that makes it ok, that you invade my privacy" she said with shock as she looked at him now, he stood there with his jeans back on, but no shirt..

"Private? It was public record" he said with annoyance..

"then how come nothing you do is public" she snapped at him, she didnt know why she was getting so mad, maybe it was the situation, maybe the fact that she could really see herself falling for him and then what, he would keep everything about him a secret?

"Because i made it that way, dont be mad at me because you never thought to keep your life private" he snapped as he quickly finished his beer and then walked back over to the bar..

"How am i suppose to get to know you if you wont tell me anything about you" she finally said low as he looked at her..

"I will answer any question you like but when it comes to my past that is my business, not yours" he said a bit angrily and she huffed, quickly putting on her shoes.."so then thats it, now your just gonna go" he said with a bit of shock in his voice..

"well yeah what is the point of me staying, really?" she said with a huff, damn her feet being wet, she couldnt get her socks on right..

"Just because i wont tell you about my past your gonna leave" he seemed insulted as he looked at her, no one had ever asked him about his past, ever, he didnt know how to take this..

"Listen i think your a nice guy John, i do but what is the point of me continuing to hang out with you if you cant tell me anything about you" she said honestly..

"what is it you want to know, you know everything about me" he said with frustration..

"No i dont...i know nothing about you, ok so you have a brother and he is a doctor, but what else is there, how come you dont talk about your parents and you speak about your dad in past tense, why cant you just have a normal conversation" she snapped and he honestly looked hurt for a moment and she slightly regretted her words, maybe she had gone too far..

"i thought we were having normal conversations" he said dryly.."apparently not normal enough for Miss Princess Buchanan" he grabbed his shirt now..

Natalie gasped in shock.."what the hell is that for, i never once acted like a damn princess and since you read my background you would know that!"

"Oh please your childhood was rough not tragic, you were taken in by your other family, all your needs were met, dont tell me that you werent treated like a damn princess by them and everyone else who came around you" he snapped at her..

"wow this was a huge mistake coming here" she said as she spun from him...

"Oh believe me Natalie the feeling his mutual" he said with anger..She was beyond hurt as she stood there, how dare he.

"why even invite me out huh, why go through all of this trouble" she yelled and then the realization dawned on her as she looked at him.."you were trying to get me to change my mind, werent you, you thought i would give in and be your little pet!" she snapped at him..

"You are so far from the truth its pathetic" he said with venom in his voice..

"unbelievable, i should of known" she felt stupid now as she stood there, this was all his way to manipulate her, god she was pissed!.."so what happened did you mom not breast feed you as a child, did you disappoint your father by not becoming a doctor, is that why your so hell bent on controlling everything and everyone around you!" she yelled before she could think about what she was saying..

"SHUT UP, just shut the fuck up" he finally yelled as he got in her face, and now she did finally shut up, there was something very dark behind his eyes and it was mixed with pain, deep pain, suddenly she wanted to retract her words.."You want me to say it fine, i will fucking say it" he yelled angrily, he couldnt remember the last time he was this upset.."You would of been nothing but a notch on my belt" he yelled in her face and she blinked in shock.."Happy now? You were right im nothing but a sick fucking bastard" he snapped at her and then spun around as he grabbed his car keys.."were leaving" he barked at her as he stormed over to the door and she stood there shocked and utterly speechless.."NOW!" he yelled again as he refused to look at her, his phone began to ring and he quickly answered it.."WHAT!" he yelled into the phone.."when? How? Im heading there right now" his voice was laced with anger and concern..

"who was that" she couldnt help but ask, even with him being pissed and hell she was pissed to, his voice had been filled with worry, something had happened..

"someone set my god damn club on fire" he yelled and then walked through the door, she ran after him..

"John wait" she yelled as she ran up to him as he got in the elevator, she got in too..

"oh dont act so concerned, im sure your fucking loving this right now" he said bitterly as the doors closed and she looked at him..

"is anyone hurt" she ignored his statement as she looked at him, he looked furious but he didnt answer her.."Im a cop damn it"

"Oh well lucky fucking me huh" he said sarcastically and then he hit the side of the elevator, denting the wall.."SHIT!" he yelled in frustration, could this damn thing move any faster, he wanted to get to his club, he wanted to get there now..

He didnt even speak to her as they drove to his club, he was on the phone with Steele the majority of the time, apparently the police had just arrived and she felt her chest sink, this had been his life and someone was trying to burn it down, she felt horrible for so many things, she felt horrible for him..

"Listen i didnt mean" she began sympathetically as he kept driving..

"Dont Natalie, just dont" he said warningly..

"I just dont see how us hanging out is going to work, i mean i know nothing about you" she said honestly..He looked at her now, his face as cold as ice..

"if you havent noticed i have more important matters at hand" he snapped at her.."You need to just go home" he looked back out the windshield..

"Im not going anywhere, im a cop, i have a duty to uphold" she said honestly and he laughed darkly now...

"Look how much good it did last time" he said dryly..

"what the hell is that suppose to mean" she snapped at him..

"if i remember correctly you still havent found your sisters murderer cause your too busy trying to play mind games with me" he snapped at her..

"excuse me, im not the one playing mind games John" she snapped right back at him..

"could of fooled me sweetheart" he said coldly..Natalie huffed and chose to stare out the window instead of continuing this fight, wow he was being a dick!

The parking lot of his club was filled with numerous police cars and fire trucks, smoke still billowed in the air and her eyes got wide.."Mother fucker!" John snapped as he stopped abruptly and jumped out, immediately running inside as she followed suit..

Natalie got to the door and was looked at by her fellow officers, it wasnt lost on them who she had come with, she ignored their stares as she made her way inside, immediately hit with all the smoke damage around her and then she heard his loud voice and alot of commotion..

"John just calm down" Steele said as John began yelling almost instantly..

"calm down? How can you tell me to calm the fuck down, first Ann now this!" he yelled angrily as natalie stepped into the large room, her uncle immediately looked at her with wide eyes..She walked over to him fast..

"Uncle Bo what happened" she said as he took in the sight of her, her hair still dripping wet, her makeup smeared, shit she hadnt even thought about that..

"we got the call around ten" he said as he continued to look at her..

"Unfucking belivable!" John barked as he assessed the damage..The place was trashed and the fire damage and smoke damage was excessive, more then he had imagined..He looked at her Uncle and then stormed over angrily.."are you gonna find the son of a bitch who did this or what!" he yelled..

"were doing what we can right now, were going to have to do a full sweep of this place, is there anyone who would want to do you harm?" her uncle tried to remain professional..

John laughed at him now.."thats all you got man, this is fucking unreal" John stormed away from him again, this time he saw his office door open and a few officers coming out of it.."HEY... get the hell out of there" he yelled as he ran over, Natalie looked at her uncle and then made her way over to Steele who was shaking his head in disbelief..

"do you have any idea who would of wanted to do this" she said to him..

"seriously natalie, do you really need to ask that" Steele said sarcastically..

"where are my files, where are they!" John yelled as he saw the sight of his office, it had been ransacked. His file cabinet was over turned and empty as reminants of its contents laid on the floor...Steele ran to his office now as he joined John.."there gone, there all gone" he said in shock as he looked at Steele..

"Im gonna need a full list of everything that is missing" Bo said as he walked over and John glared at him..

"Oh thats just great, the confidentiality of my clients is in someones hand" he snapped at Bo..

"were going to get to the bottom of this Mr. McBain" he said seriously..

"sure you will" he spat bitterly..

"John lets just get a list going ok, the sooner the better" Steele tried to be the voice of reason..

"Just get the hell out of my office" John barked at him and then he looked at Bo.."get out" he yelled and they both backed up as John slammed the door shut, Natalie stood and watched off to a distance as her uncle said something to Steele who just shook his head, he glanced at Natalie..

Natalie immediately went into cop mode, it was all she knew to do, she began barking orders at her co-workers, telling them to collect as much evidence as possible.. The fire chief went up to her uncle and began talking to him.."its going to take atleast 24 hours for us to thouroghly search this place" he began as Bo shook his head..

Bo looked at Natalie as she came over.."Im heading back to the station, i want to be debriefed in an hour" he was short with her, very short and then he walked away as she stood there..

"dont let him get you upset" Steele said as he came over and she looked at him..

"its fine" she said with a shake of her head.."Im more concerned about John"

"so am i" Steele said honestly.."You look a little worse for wear, i take that as a good sign?" he said as he took in the sight of her and she smoothed back her hair, it was matted on her head..

"No its not" she said as she walked from him, he followed her..

"what do you mean, you two did go out tonight, didnt you?" he began as she stopped..

"i think i fucked up" she said honestly and his eyes got wide..

"Natalie what happened, is that why he answered the phone so abruptly, i thought he was just being his usual self when he gets um, you know interupted" he said as he looked at her..Before she could answer Johns voice was heard loud and clear, and well angry.."STEELE!" he yelled from his door as Steele snapped his head around and then quickly walked over and the two of them went in the office, with a final look at natalie, John slammed the door shut..Natalie sighed, tonight definitely didnt pan out the way she thought it would, she hated that she brought this on herself, she should of just let things be!


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty Two

Natalie sat in her uncles office as she debriefed him quickly on the fire, he was barely looking at her and when he did he only had disappointment in his eyes, god she hated that."thats enough for tonight, go home Natalie" he said as he looked back at the files on his desk as she stood now..

"its not what it looked like" she finally said low as he looked up at her, his face like stone..

"goodnight Natalie" he said sternly and she opted to keep her mouth shut, atleast for now, she quickly made her way out of his office and was immediately confronted by one of her coworkers, Stevens to be exact..

"so me and the guys were wondering, was it water torture he used on you" he laughed some..

"real mature Stevens" she spat angrily..

"Oh come on baby if i knew all i had to do was slap you around a little bit then believe me i would of" he laughed some more and she glared at him now..

"Your an asshole" she yelled at him as he walked past..

"that would be asshole sir to you sweetheart" he called out but she kept walking, god could this night get any worse!

Natalie began the short drive home but found herself driving towards the club, she knew the police had been long gone and she couldnt help but be worried about him and now the guilt about what she had said earlier was creeping up on her, what if something had happened to his parents, what if something had happened in his childhood, the uncertainty was killing her as she pulled up, not even Steele's car was present, she contemplated what to and then she saw a light on in the apartment above, John was there, she took a deep breath and pulled into the parking lot..

She didnt get out right away as she contemplated what to say to him, what could she say? She pushed back her insecurities and got out of her car, she would just see if there was anything she could help him with, she made her way to the door and immediately frowned when she saw it was locked, maybe she should just call him she thought to herself and began to make her way back to her car..

"what do you want natalie" his voice startled her and she froze as she got to her car, his voice sounded hoarse and exhausted, she slowly spun around and he stood at the door looking at her, god he looked so broken, it killed her..

"I um... i came by to see...to see if i could help you with anything" she said a bit nervously as she stood by her car..

"It's 1 am, go home" he said coldly as he stood there and she swallowed hard and forced her legs to move as she walked over to him.."You just cant listen, can you" he said with annoyance in his voice..

"Listen i know your upset" she finally said and he rolled his eyes..

"Im fucking pissed" he said with a seriousness to his voice and it made her gulp some..

"I just wanted to see if there was anything i could do" she said again..

"Oh really now?" his voice was heavy with dry sarcasm.."I didnt know that the lanview police made house calls"

"Im not doing this because of my job" she said quickly...

"then why exactlly are you here" his voice was demanding and she froze a few feet away from him, unsure of what to say..

"i know this place meant alot to you" she said low..

"Really? Well how fucking stellar of you" he said dryly again, his voice was so cold, god it bothered her..

"what do you want me to say huh? You want me to apologize? Fine, im sorry ok" she said with a sigh..

"Just go home" he turned from her and opened the door as she stood there..

"wait" she called out, her voice leaving her throat before she could think of what to say next, he stopped with his hand on the door but he didnt face her..

"spit it out natalie, what do you want" he spoke coldly as he held the door..

"I dont know ok, i dont know what i want anymore" she said honestly, maybe too honestly, he slowly turned and faced her now, she swallowed again..

"You just think that you can fix the world dont you" he said sarcastically, his eyes dark as he looked at her..

"I try" she said in a low, almost whisper of a voice..

"Yeah well try fucking harder" he snapped at her...

"I didnt want this to happen to you ok" she blurted out loudly..

"could of surprised me, i mean you have me all figured out" he stared at her blankly..

"i said somethings, i may of crossed the line" she began and he laughed sarcastically..."But you said somethings too" he stopped laughing now as he looked at her.."i didnt mean what i said and id like to think that you didnt either" she said honestly..

"Yeah well then you would be wrong" he said coldly and then walked through the door as she stood there, she then ran up to the door but much to her surprise it wasnt locked and she stepped inside, police tape was everywhere and it was dark except for a light leading to the stairs to his apartment, she didnt think twice as she headed up them..

She stopped as she reached the door at the top of the stairs, it was open slightly, she pushed on it and peered inside..She could hear him in the kitchen and she closed the door..

A minute later he walked out of the kitchen and completely ignored her presence as he walked to the couch and sat down, flipping on the tv as he sat there, she stood nervously watching him as he did his best to ignore her, she finally sat down a few feet away on the same couch..

He stopped on an old rerun of House and put down the remote as he sipped his drink nonchalantly..

"its a good show" she said low, wanting him to talk to her but he kept his eyes on the tv..She fidgeted with her hands in her lap.."i really am sorry" she said without looking at him..

"its late" he said as he stood up now and flipped off the tv, he looked at her now for a second and then began walking out of the room and down the hall, she sighed as she watched him.. She knew she should just leave now, but hell she couldnt, this was driving her crazy, she felt horrible and so she did something surprising, she headed down the hall and to the room he had disappeared into, it was empty but she saw a light on in what looked like a bathroom, she took in the view of his room, he definitely had good taste in furniture, she walked over to his way too big bed and she sat on it, he would talk to her, she would stay until he did.

Minutes went by and then he came out of the bathroom as she looked at him, he was clad in only a pair of boxer briefs, ones that clung to his body in a very enticing way, he looked at her and then made his way to the bed, he laid in it and put his hands under his head..

"why dont you just talk to me" she finally said, this was beyond awkward, he stared at the ceiling, his chest moving up and down quickly.."Fine i will stay here until you do" she said as she huffed and kicked off her shoes and then laid her head on the pillow next to his, she too stared at the ceiling.

Sometime within the hour without even trying she fell asleep in his bed, he hadnt said anything to her as she drifted off to sleep, it wasnt until a few hours later that she awoke abruptly, suddenly disoriented about where she was, he woke up too as he sat up in bed looking at her, he looked a bit disoriented as well. The room was dark with only the light of the moon coming through the blinds.

She finally went to move from his bed, she couldnt believe she had fallen asleep but as she went to stand his hand came up and stopped her, holding onto her arm as she looked over at him, and then it happened, she didnt know why or how but it happened, he leaned over her, pulling her closer to him and then his lips were crashing down on hers in a slow passionate kiss that had her forgetting everything from earlier..

He pressed her back into the soft mattress, his weight on her as his tongue lapped against hers slowly, she couldnt help the soft moan that poured out of her mouth, god he tasted good..

But then he pulled back, his arms on either side of her head as he braced him, both of them breathing ragged..

The words came out of her mouth without her thinking.."Please dont stop" she whispered. He looked confused, conflicted as he hovered over her and then she moved her hands to the back of his head and pushed his mouth to hers.."I want you" she gasped as her lips collided with his in a slow sensual kiss that she felt all the way down to her toes..

The slow kiss quickly turned into something more urgent and before she knew it he was pulling her clothes off of her body in a hurry, she could barely breath much less think as he kissed her feverishly.

She wiggled herself out of her pants as he tugged on them, yanking them down her legs, right along with her panties until she was on his bed wearing absolutely nothing at all..Sometime in the midst of him taking off her clothes he had discarted his own boxer briefs as warm flesh hit flesh, the feeling was sensational as he kissed her again, his weight crushing her small frame but she didnt care, if she would die now it would be one hell of a way to go..

She hadnt actually seen his erection yet but she could feel its thick and heavy weight pressed into her belly, it just made her ache more, she wanted him so bad, worse then she had ever wanted anyone, the urge was bordering on hysteria and then he grabbed her wrists, pinning them above her head with a strong grip.

Everything was happening so fast, her body felt like it would explode any minute now, and the sounds of their labored breathing only added to the effect..

"Open your eyes" his voice was husky as he broke contact of their mouths.."Keep them open" his voice was a low demand and right about now she would of succumb to just about anything, she kept her eyes on his and then they got wider and her mouth opened as his cock invaded her in one swift delicious move..

"Ah" she cried out at the sweet invasion that dared to push her bodys limits, this man was large and for a split second she wondered if she would even be able to take him but he took away all concern as he embedded himself inside her deeply, a low groan rumbling in his chest and his eyes stared at her with an such primal desire that she nearly came right then and there..

Once, twice he pulled out of her only to slam back in, the sensation shocking her body at the force he used, his hands tightly holding her wrists, his eyes never leaving her, the look on his face was the most erotic thing she had ever witnessed, her eyes threatened to roll back in her head..

The way he mastered her body was unbelievable, she could barely have a rational thought as he filled her again and again, the sound of slapping flesh, ragged breathing and moaning filled the room...

"god you feel so fucking good" he groaned as pushed her limits and then some.."come on sweetheart cum for me,..cum for me now" he almost shouted as he groaned deep in his chest and it was clearly her undoing as her body clenched him and the sounds leaving her throat didnt even sound like her own.."Oh fuck thats it natalie, cum..CUM!" he ordered her as he slammed into her one last time and then just as quickly he was pulling from her body as she felt the warm sensation of him releasing himself on her stomach, his mouth once again attacking hers as his hands let go of her wrists as he moved to her face and held her in place..

They lay in a sticky, sweaty mess as he continued to kiss her and then he was rolling off of her as he tried to control his breathing, she did too as she stared at the ceiling, holy shit that was intense! He didnt say anything as he stood up and walked to the bathroom, she couldnt even trust her legs to get her up and then he was coming back as she looked at him in the moonlight, his body was so beautiful, cut and toned..

"were going to have to do something about this" he finally said as he wiped her stomach with a wet washcloth.."are you on birthcontrol" he asked and she couldnt believe that now they were having this conversation, all she did was nod her head.."well you will be" his voice was matter of factly and she didnt know what to say, did that mean that this would happen again, she wasnt sure if she could handle that again and something told her that he was holding back, wow, he took the term 'fucking you silly' to another level..

She watched him as he cleaned her up and then tossed the towel aside and climbed back in the bed.."it was good to get that out of the way" he said almost nonchalantly and now she looked at him..He brushed a piece of her hair out of her face and smirked now..

"i take it your not mad anymore" she said softly..

"You do know how to push my buttons Miss Buchanan" he grinned now.."sleep, its late" he said and she contemplated saying something but she choose to keep her mouth shut for once...

Natalie awoke to the sun pouring in the room, it was bright and she had to squint her eyes as she groaned, her hand fell to his side of the bed and it was empty, she opened her eyes now and saw that he was gone, for a second she had wondered if she had dreampt the whole thing, she sat up now and noticed her current state of undress and then her eyes moved to her wrists that were slightly red, Holy shit her eyes got wide as she looked at them. It almost looked like indian burns on her wrists and she rubbed them lightly..

Her mind drifting back to last night, god that had been amazing, she couldnt help the smile on her face, the sound of her phone buzzing made her snap from her thoughts as she looked on the floor where her pants lay, it buzzed again..Now she jumped up and scrambled for it, her eyes getting wide as she saw who was calling, it was her dad, she looked around for a clock and damn near died when she saw what time it was, nearly 10 am, she was ridiculously late for work, she immediately began to throw her clothes on fast, her heart racing, she was late for work, she was never late for work.

She let the call go to voicemail and then she saw the numerous missed calls she had, most of them from her Uncle and one from her father, oh shit this wasnt good at all. Quickly putting on her shoes and her remaining clothes she raced out of the room, oddly enough John wasnt in the apartment but she didnt have time to deal with that she had other pressing matters at hand like what the hell was she going to tell her uncle.

She ran down the long case of stairs as she wondered what the hell she was going to do but then she heard it, a loud voice, an annoyed voice, his voice, John..

"You dont think i fucking know that" he yelled angrily and then she heard it, a females voice and she froze..

"this is as much my business as it is yours John, why werent you here, you should of been here" the woman yelled and she glanced at the double doors that lead into the club..

"i dont have to report back to you everytime i decide to leave" he snapped angrily..

Natalie knew she shouldnt stay but she couldnt help herself as she stood there by the door listening..

"Ive heard the rumors john, is it true... is it" the woman barked at him and natalie felt her body tense, who the hell was this woman, she didnt like her already and then she thought back to that first night she had came there with Steele, a woman had been in Johns office, she was part owner but what was she to him, he apparently didnt like her but why? He didnt answer her and Natalie swallowed hard.."Oh thats just fucking great so now your throwing everything aside for some piece of ass" the woman yelled and Natalie felt her mouth gape open, who the fuck was this woman..

"this conversation is over, get out" he yelled as the door swung open and natalie came face to face with blue eyes and then she looked at Miss Bitch herself.

She had shoulder length black hair, dressed in a very expensive dress suit, her skin a light cocoa, she looked familiar and then it hit Natalie, she knew this woman, or atleast she knew of her, this was the Assistant District Attorney, Evangeline Williamson..

"this conversation is far from over" the woman barked and then shot Natalie a nasty glare as she stormed past her, Natalie just kind of stood there awkwardly..

"sleep ok?" John said as if that conversation hadnt even taken place..

"Yeah im uh running late for work" she said even though she wanted to say who the hell was that woman and why the hell was she all up in Johns business, had they had a relationship before, the idea made her feel sick..

"You should just take the day off then" he said as he brushed a piece of her hair out of her eyes, his fingers lingered on her face some, god how could he go from yelling to being like this, so well sweet...

"i cant do that, i actually i have to go" she said even though she didnt want to go, she wanted to find of what she had just walked in on, the idea that the ADA was a freak too was concerning..

He seemed to contemplate what she said and then he removed his hand from her face.."I will pick you up at 8 then" he said as more of a statement then a question..

"Um" she said nervously, god she hadnt even had time to think about what she was getting herself into, he closed in the distance between them as he licked his lips, he looked like an animal about to pounce on its prey, it was intimidating..

He reached up and touched her face softly and she sucked in a breath but then his phone rang, immediately breaking his contact as he reached it out of his pocket and stared at her as he answered.."What is it Steele" he said calmly, his eyes locked on Natalie..

"glad to see you calmed down a little from last night" Steele said honestly..

"yeah well" John said as he continued to stare at her..

"I really have to go" she whispered, now was her escape, he covered the phone with his hand..

"Be ready at 8" he said and she smiled nervously and then quickly turned on her heel and walked out.."Yeah im here, i was just tying up some loose ends, whats up Steele" he finished..

Work ended up being uncomfortable as hell, her uncle barely said two words to her and he hadnt even addressed her being so late for work, she would stay later just to make up the time and she would somehow make it up to him but sadly her mind was elsewhere, it was on John and the mind blowing experience she had the night before.

Now she wasnt a prude in any sense but last night was definitely something for the record book, he had taken her with such force that she literally still ached, she had never been fucked like that before and oddly enough she wanted more..But then again she didnt understand what any of this meant, was he still looking for her to be his submissive, was he going to try for something normal, she had no idea..

She eventually got buried in work, she pushed the memories aside and just worked, her phone rang as she sipped the fifth straight cup of coffee, she hadnt even looked to see who it was as she answered.."Buchanan"

"Blowing me off already" his voice was low and almost sounded angry as she froze and glanced at her clock, damn already almost 8:30, where the hell did the day go..

"I got held up at work, I came in late remember" she began...

"It's after 8" his voice didnt change..

"and like i said i got in here late" she began again, what was his deal..

"fine...later" he said as he hung up and she looked at her phone in shock, did he just hang up on her, she immediately dialed back, getting increasingly mad, it went straight to voicemail and she huffed as she hung up her phone, god he was irritating!

The sound of a knock on her door caught her off guard as she yelled out.."what now!" she snapped, god she was pissed, the door creaked open and she met a pair of brown eyes.."Jeff? What are you doing here" she said in shock as she looked at her old classmate from AC, the same one she had run into when she bailed out Rex..

"if this a bad time" he said a bit nervously as he smoothed back his short cropped hair..

"No its fine, is everything ok" she said with shock and now worry in her voice, why the heck was he in Lanview, had he heard something about the guys who did this to Rex?

"Yeah" he smiled big.."I just happened to be in town, im taking over your brothers case in AC"

"Oh" she said with a bit of shock.."find anything out" she said nervously as she looked down at her desk now..

"Nothing too important, actually thats why i wanted to talk to you" he said and now she looked up, god she felt guilty..

"Me? Why?" she said with a nervous laugh..

"He is your brother natalie, i just thought maybe we could go over the case" he smiled softly..

"Oh sure...of course, what do you need to know" she said quickly, she would just reiderate what she had already told the cops in AC and be done with this once and for all..

"If you dont mind im kind of hungry, maybe we could just grab a bite to eat and talk about it over food" he began..

Natalie contemplated what he had asked, maybe getting him out of the police station and on more nuetral ground would be easier for her to talk to him, plus she had been hungry and since it looked like her plans for the evening were nixed with John, what the hell..

"Ok we can do that" she said as she stood now, suddenly a surge of another kind of guilt raced through her, John would be pissed, or atleast she thought he would be, but then again he was so hot and cold all the damn time she didnt know what to think and in all honesty it wasnt like they were an item and this was only to go over information about Rex..

"are you sure, you look a little" Jeff began and she laughed some..

"im fine just have a ton of stuff on my mind, food sounds great" she said quickly as she grabbed her keys.."Lets go"


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

Natalie and Jeff sat at Capricorn and talked just about everything but Rex. They had spoke of old friends in Highschool and remisced about life in AC, it was nice to actually have a conversation with someone and not have to walk on egg shells. Jeff was a laid back guy and one that when she was in highschool she had never really paid much attention to, she was always such a loner even back then..

"Oh and you remember Patricia Wilson" he began as she looked at him with her head cocked slightly..."period Patty" he smirked and she cringed slight..

"eww yeah, you've seen her?" she laughed as the images of Period Patty and her blood stained pants came into her head..

"Yeah she has like a butt load of kids now and well lets just say that time has not been nice to her" he smirked..

"Now im gonna have images of her in my head again" Natalie said with a laugh as she shook her head, her phone began to buzz as she sat there and she glanced at it..

**If you wanted to blow me off for some douchebag you could of just told me, by the way yeah im fucking pissed incase you were wondering.**  
Her eyes got wide as she read the message..

"everything ok?" Jeff asked..

"Yeah, just stupid facebook updates" she lied as her heart began to race, how the hell did he know she was out with someone, she nervously looked around the crowded club..

"Oh i hate those, you know you can block them, they get annoying sometimes" he said quickly..

"yeah i may have to look into that" she said as her phone went off again and she glanced at it..

**What is that your fourth beer and you barely ate a thing, you really know how to piss me off..**

Natalie jumped slightly, suddenly expecting him to be right behind her, Jeff looked at her confused as she looked around, he was there, somewhere in that club watching her..

"sorry i um...i need to use the ladies room" she said quickly to a confused looking Jeff, she quickly got up and made her way around the club, she was getting more and more pissed by the second, he had followed her like a damn stalker, hot but well freaking crazy!

Natalie texted him back quick.. **Do I have to remind you that I am a cop and Stalking is illegal**...

She made her way to the bathroom as she looked around, she was truly speechless..She stared at her phone, no answer, she smirked, she taught him a lesson she thought proudly as she looked at herself in the mirror, knowing that he was there, watching her, well it did something to her as much as she knew it was definitely crazy behaviour it was also well kind of hot, she quickly left the bathroom and made a bee line for Jeff.

Walking through the crowded dance floor another song had just started and she immediately found herself surrounded as she pushed her way through the crowd but then out of no where a hand grabbed hold of her arm and tugged her close, she gasped as she looked up to see his firey blue eyes..

He pulled her close as his hand slipped against her back and he leaned his mouth to her ear and whispered.."enjoying yourself?" he said dryly..

"are you?" she said sarcastically.."I told you i had to work late" she said as he looked at her..

"Oh im sorry i forgot that the lanview police department has redecorated the place, it sort of looks like a club now" he said dryly..

"Seriously John i ran into someone" she rolled her eyes, he kept his grip on her..

"i see that" he stared at her..

"i dont know why your being like this" she said honestly..

"Oh really so last night was just a common occurance for you?" he raised an eyebrow..

"I didnt mean that, i mean hell we havent even talked about what happened" she said as she began to get lost in his eyes, god they were so blue and he smelt wonderful, his cologne was hypnotizing..

"Oh now you want to talk" he looked surprised..

"I wanted to talk last night" she sighed..God he was being difficult..

"You didnt seem like you wanted to talk" he smirked..

"Listen i dont even know what exactlly is going on between us" she let out a frustrated breath..

"and there you go again analyzing everything" he rolled his eyes now.."we could of talked tonight if you werent so busy flirting with that guy" he said with a tight face..

"i wasnt flirting with anyone and even if i was" she began as his eyes got wide..

"do you really want to go there with me natalie, i dont think you do" his voice was low and held so much seriousness..

"You know i thought i made myself clear, im not one of your other girls" she finally said with a bit of anger..

"when have i made you feel like that, oh wait maybe it was during the walk on the beach or hell maybe it was dinner" he snapped bitterly...

"i wasnt saying that, god you can be impossible at times" she huffed..

"i think your the one being impossible, i wanted to see you tonight and you lied" he said honestly..

"I didnt lie ok and if i remember correctly you hung up on me and pardon me for pointing out your stalker ways as if i am some sort of property to you" she snapped right back at him, he stopped dancing with her now and just looked at her..

"fine" he said as he backed up from her and spun around..

"see that, right there why do you have to do that" she said as she ran up to him, grateful that the music was loud even though a few people were looking at them..

"hey if im too overbearing" he said with a look of insult and hurt in his eyes..

"why do you always have to storm off or hang up when you dont get your way" she finally sighed heavily as he looked at her..

"if you would just stop being so defiant then i wouldnt do that" he said with frustration..

"Defiant? Im not your child John and im not one of your girls" she said with a shake of her head, he looked as if he didnt know what to say.."just say something ok" she said lower now as he looked at her, god this was exhausting..

"what do you want me to say since apparently your calling all the shots here, what would you like me to say to you, huh... im trying to do the normal thing with you" he snapped..

This was way more then she had expected, he truly didnt know how to behave, he had lived this life so long.."I know you are" she finally said softly..

"what am i suppose to think when you tell me one thing and run off and do another" he said honestly..

"I would expect you to talk to me" she said honestly...

"I am" he said low..

"Not like this, not when i am out with an old friend, not when i dont even know what the heck is going on with us" she said with a sigh.."I dont even know if there is an us"

He looked hurt for a moment as he stood there, almost like a wounded puppy dog.."I'll let you get back to your friend" he said as he spun from her and began walking away, she quickly walked back over to her table, thankfully Jeff hadnt seen what had just taken place..

"i was beginning to wonder what happened to you" he said as he stood to greet her..

"Yeah i recieved a phone call, listen Jeff im gonna have to go" she said low, she knew she had to deal with John now before this completely blew out of proportion..

"Oh...Now?" he seemed disappointed..

"yeah im sorry its kind of important but it was really nice seeing you again" she said honestly as part of her was screaming at her to stay with the normal sane guy and not run after John, she knew that would be the logical choice..

"alright well " he stood uncomfortably..."maybe next time" he forced a smile..

"Definitely" she smiled.."I'll see you later" she gave a quick wave and then headed outside, she was completely irritated now and she stopped to see John standing by his car, she huffed and walked over..

"I was trying to be normal" he said low, god she hated how she felt bad for him.."Ive never done anything like this before" he said honestly as he looked at her now..

"I can see that" she said low..

"i feel really protective of you and i want to be with you natalie" his voice held so much sincerity that it through her for a loop, she didnt know what to say.."im being an ass, i know that but im trying here" he looked down now, he looked so broken..."did i ruin my chance" he said low..

Now here she was at those darn crossroads again, one way would lead her down a path of normalcy with a great guy like Jeff and the other would send her down alice's rabbit hole where she didnt know what lied ahead, possibly a straight jacket but then he looked at her, those big blue eyes that held so many dark secrets, so many she desperately wanted to know, she was completely enthralled by him and his ways, it consumed her..

"say something, please" he looked at her now, his hands nervously in his pockets, he actually seemed normal at the moment..

"You didnt ruin your chance" she said low and his eyes lit up, god he had a great smile.."i like you John, alot... you just confuse me" she said honestly...

"i confuse myself" he said honestly as he smirked.."Ive never been with anyone like you before"

"then why start now" she said honestly, she might as well dig for answers while he was talking..

"because i...i feel like i could be a better person when im around you" he said low and it made her heart stop..

"Your not a bad person John" she said sympathetically, god it was amazing how low he felt about himself, she couldnt grasp it..

"and i believe you when you say that, no one has ever said that to me" he said seriously..

"well its true and im sorry no one has said that to you" she said honestly as her hand came up and touched his face, he had stubble on it and for a second he looked afraid, almost like she would hit him..."what am i going to do with you" she smirked and his face lightened up some..

"you can start by bringing those lips over here" he grinned and she did just that as her lips touched his softly and then his hands went into the back of her hair, deepening the kiss until they were completely making out in the parking lot against his car, she couldnt believe how quickly they could go to this and she couldnt believe how crazy he drove her body.. They were kissing in a frenzy and quickly she pulled back as she looked at him...

"you know this could end up being a really really bad idea" she said a bit breathless..

"I think its worth that risk" he said as he kept his hands around her, holding her close..

"Yeah i think so too" she said as her mouth collasped on his again..

The frenzied moment got cut short as they both snapped back into reality as a car pulled into the parking lot, Natalie flushed as her heart raced, what the hell had gotten into her, she was acting like a damn teenager..

"we should go before i throw caution to the wind and take you on my car" his voice was raw and serious as she looked at him..

"Ok" she said low and she stepped back from him and looked at her own car...

"Leave it here, we can get it in the morning" he said as he walked around and opened his passenger car door..

"John" she began.."you can follow me in your car" she finally said as he looked at her, his car door open.."i cant just leave it in this parking lot" she said honestly, he seemed annoyed as he stood there, his hand on the door but he forced a smile..

"Ok..." he forced a tight smile..

"compromise is the key" she said with a soft smile...

"as you wish Natalie" he said as he closed the door and she knew it took everything in him to agree to her driving her car.."where would you like to go Natalie, my place or yours"

"Neither" she said quickly and he immediately began to frown some.."relax ok, dont you like surprises?" she swallowed hard..

"Not particularly" he said honestly and she laughed now as she walked to her car..

"You really are impossible" she laughed as she opened her car door..He just stood there.."follow me" she grinned and he sighed heavily and quickly made his way around his car..

"Baby steps remember" he said almost warningly and she laughed again..

"Just get in the car and follow me Mr. McBain" she laughed again and he did just that and then they took off..

They pulled into the parking lot of Steel Industries and quickly they both got out..

"You know im starting to think that you have some good ideas Miss Buchanan" he grinned as he walked over to her..

"I do have my moments Mr. McBain,...shall we?" she gestured for them to go inside as she put her hand out to him..

"You dont need to tell me twice" he grinned as he took her hand and they made their way inside the large building, once in the elevator he waited for the doors to close and then immediately her back was against the wall as he kissed her with so much pent up desire that it nearly took her breath away..

His body was hard and firm against hers as he kept her flush against the wall, her hands in his hair, pulling and tugging as they tongues fought for dominance, she finally succumbed to his powerful ways, how couldnt she, he was so damn hot when he was all Alpha male like, slowly he pulled back, both of their breathing labored..

"I could take you right here" his words were more of a threat then anything else but she couldnt help but smirk at him, she liked this side of him, a hint of a smile came on his lips..

"what happened to patience is a virtue" she said a bit breathless...

"im more of the instant gratification kind of guy" he smirked at her as the elevator dinged alerting them to their floor, she used all the strength she could to lightly push him back..

"good things come to those who wait" she said with a breathless smile and he groaned deep in his chest as he followed her out and to the door down the hall leading to the roof..

"Your enjoying this arent you" he said as they stepped onto the roof..

"whatever do you mean Mr. McBain" she grinned, she liked being playful with him, it was definitely a change from his overbearing and controlling ways..

"You may be the death of me" he said with a shake of his head as he walked past her.."i believe a drink is in order" he made his way to the bar..

"Now your talking" she grinned as she followed him and took a seat on one of the stools there, her heart still racing with anticipation..

He cracked open two beers and handed her one as he stayed behind the bar.."were you planning on taking him home" he finally said and she sighed as she brought the beer to her lips and took a sip as she stared at him.."im just saying, you know curiosity and all" he forced a smile as he sipped his beer..

"didnt you ever hear that curiosity killed the cat" she said with a smile and his face got serious.."No John i wasnt going to bring him home" she said with a sigh and he lightened up some..

"good answer" he took a sip again but he still looked tense now as he stood there.."we shouldnt push my limits too much" he said with a smile but his eyes held a seriousness that made her swallow hard...

"that does go both ways" she said with a nervous smile and then walked from him and over to the pool, he followed her..

"you know last time we were here" he began as he walked next to her..

"Yeah lets not stir that up again" she said low as she thought about the nasty things they had said to one another..

His face stiffened for a second.."i wasnt talking about that,i was talking about us in the pool" he looked at her..

"it is a nice pool" she said as she looked at him..

"I wanted to fuck you in that pool" he said nonchalantly and her eyes got wide..

"well... so much for beating around the bush" she said with a nervous laugh, god he looked like an animal, it made her pulse jump...

"I like the direct approach" he said as he snaked an arm around her and pulled her close, causing her to gasp at the power behind him, she put her beer down as did he.."I like to take what i want" he finished as his lips crashed into hers in a firey kiss that she felt all the way down her legs, god would she ever get tired of this..He pulled back after a few moments and kept his hand on the back of her head.."You have no idea how beautiful you are" he said in a voice laced with desire..

"thats goes both ways" she said nearly breathless herself and he let go of her now as he stood a foot in front of her..

"swim?" he raised an eyebrow at her..

"I thought you'd never ask" she said as she tried to calm her breathing..

John grinned devilishly as he looked at her.."You know I do believe you have way too many clothes on"

"I could say the same about you" she glanced at him with a playful smirk, she really liked this side of him..

"so why dont you do something about that" he licked his lips.."Undress me" his words flowed over her like warm chocolate on a cold day, it made her heart race incredibly fast..

"with pleasure" she grinned as her hands went to his shirt and she tugged on the soft material that clung to his body.."arms up" she smiled and he did as he was told as she pulled it up and over his head, exposing his very hard and toned body, she couldnt help the smile on her face, god he was beautiful, she licked her lips as he smirked at her and her hands now went to his belt but not before her nails scratched lightly against the small trail of hair that went down his belly, he sucked in a deep breath as her hands stopped at his belt buckle, his erection was very much apparent now as it strained against the zipper on his jeans..

She unlatched his belt and tugged on his top button as his chest moved quickly up and down, his eyes on her, burning a fire on her skin, she slowly moved down the zipper, grazing his swollen erection as he sucked in another breath, now she was nervous and he quickly kicked off his shoes and then she moved down his body, pulling down his pants and boxer briefs as his cock sprung free, thick and proud, she swallowed hard at the sight of him. She couldnt believe that he had fit inside her, he grinned proudly as she pulled his clothes down the remainder of his legs until she was on her knees before him..

"I like you in that position" he said with a groan as he stepped out of his clothes and stood there completely naked in front of her, she looked up at him, god this was hot, like completely, unbearably hot, she was sure she could cum right now if she tried..

"My turn" he said seductively.."stand" he said with a low command and she did just that, her breathing ragged now..He ran his hands down her arms until he reached her wrists and then he lifted her arms up above her head.."keep them up" his voice was more like a growl as she stared at him, desire evident in her eyes..

He pulled at the hem of her shirt and tugged it free from her blue uniform pants and then slowly, painfully slow he began to lift it higher and higher until it was over her face, she swallowed hard as her body tensed, she couldnt see him anymore but then she felt him,his hot mouth on her stomach as he placed soft open mouthed kisses on her already reacting and sensitive flesh, she wiggled some against him.."Still" he whispered in a husky voice.."the things i could do to you" he said as he licked her skin and right about now she would let him do anything.."Hold this and dont move" he said in another low demand as he placed the hem of her shirt in her hand as it still covered her face and then she felt his hands on her pants as he popped the button and slowly pulled down her zipper, she was on overload right now, not being able to see what he would do next was frustrating and yet incredibly hot and exciting at the same time..

He hooked his fingers in her pants and panties then slowly tugged on them, pulling them over her ass as his fingers grazed her and then he was pulling them down her legs, she could feel his hot breath between her legs and she shivered in anticipation.."Your body is so beautiful" he said in the most erotic voice she had ever heard..."step" he said as he got her pants to her ankle and she did just that as he pulled the material from her and she heard it land on the ground behind her..

His hands then traveled up the outside of her calves as he placed soft wet kisses on each calf and then slowly made his way up to her knees, repeating the same torture until he reached her thighs, his fingers were digging into her flesh and the bite of pain mixed with his wet mouth was indescribable..

And then she felt it, the tip of his nose brush against her now slick sex.."You smell incredible, i bet you taste just as good" he groaned and before she had a moment to react his thick tongue pushed past her lips and against her swollen bud, causing her to nearly fall as she gasped loudly.."no moving natalie, you move i stop" his voice was serious as he held her legs and her breathing became even more erratic.."good girl" he groaned as his tongue lapped against her again..

"Oh my god" she moaned loud as his tongue worked magic on her, this had to be the sweetest torture ever..

"mmmm you do taste good" his voice purred against her body..She didnt know if she would be able to withstand this torture anymore..And just when she was about to succumb to the orgasm building in her he stopped and she gasped at the loss of contact.."You didnt think i would let you get off that easily did you" he said as she groaned in protest and then he was moving back up her body...

"Please" she gasped as she dropped her shirt and he caught it before it uncovered her face..

"oh no you dont" he said as he moved her shirt back..."dont move, im serious"

"Please i cant" she began, she didnt even know what she was asking for but she knew she couldnt take much more of this, her body was on fire..

He let out a low laugh.."always impatient" his mouth made contact with her skin again but this time it was on her rib cage and his tongue was tracing the left side and then the right, she wiggled some more as she moaned and he held her waist hard.."be still" he growled displeased and she sighed, his hands slid behind her back and in one swift move he had unclasped her bra as she gasped when the cool night air hit her nipples, hardening them even more then they already were.."so beautiful" he said as she felt his tongue lightly sweep over one nipple, she arched her back as she moaned..."more?" he grinned against her skin..

"yes" she said breathlessly, she wanted this shirt off her head, she wanted to touch him, hell she wanted him inside her, taking her...

He slid her bra up her arms and then stopped as they reached her shirt and then his mouth enclosed on one nipple, sucking and tugging it until she could barely breath, he nipped at it with his teeth and she let out a loud moan..

"You like that?" he groaned against her and then adminstered the same to her other nipple, her legs shook now, she was so close, so incredibly close.."dont you cum Natalie, i want to be inside you, i want to feel you cum on me" he groaned and he alternated with her nipples as she gasped for air and then just like that he stopped, the cool air burning her wet nipples..

"ahhhh" she gasped and then he quickly yanked the shirt from her body, along with her bra.."Please" she begged without caring..

"Oh believe me sweetheart, im not even close to done" he finished as his arms wrapped around her and flesh met flesh as their tongues collided..


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

The fact that they were both naked as their bodies pushed together while their tongues continued their sweet dance, well it made her heart race and her body yearn for more, so much more but again he was pulling back and grinning as he looked at her flustered appearance..

She couldnt help the look of disappointment in her eyes as he moved from her, his hand sliding down her arm until it landed on her hand and then he clasped it as he began walking backwards as she followed, her eyes darted the pool then to him as she shook her head no, she didnt want to go in the damn pool, she wanted him. He smirked as he nodded his head yes..

"John" her voice came out as a whisper...

"i think we both need to cool off" he grinned and within seconds he was grabbing her as she yelped..

"Oh no...dont dont dont" she squealed as he kept his hands around her waist..He raised an eyebrow and then smiled as he spun her around and jumped, carrying her with him as they both splashed into the warm water.."Oh you are so gonna get it John" she said with a laugh as she came up coughing on the water, he came up to, so very closer to her..

"Ive already told you to keep your mouth closed, i could find much better uses for it" he grinned and then he was kissing her again as they stood in the water, it seemed as though their bodies heated the water even more as their hands wrapped around each other and she grabbed a fistful of hair as she kissed him deeper, more urgently as his hands slid down her back through the water and onto her ass as he dug his fingers into her backside, lifting her as she wrapped her legs around him, their mouths never leaving one another..

He was so close, so very close to her, she could feel his erection pressing at her entrance and it made her squirm in delight and pant against his mouth as he broke free of her lips..

"Keep your eyes on me" his voice was low and seductive as he spun them around and her back hit the cool concrete of the pool wall and with a grin he began pushing into her as she tilted her head back some.."Look at me Natalie, keep your eyes on me" his voice was a deep demand as he began to fill her and her mouth opened as she panted some more..

The way he invaded her body, filled the aching void between her legs, it really was like a sweet death..

"thats it sweetheart, just feel... feel all of me" he groaned and then he slammed the last inch or so into her with force as she cried out..

"ahhh god john!" she called out..

"You feel that, how perfect we fit together" he began as his mouth came down on her neck, licking and biting her as she gasped.."Mine... say it...say your mine" he groaned as he continued to stay embedded in her..

"Yours...im yours" she gasped, she would of said anything at that moment..

He pulled out of her body just leaving the tip of his swollen cock inside as he looked at her.."say it again... i want to hear you" he growled..

"ah!" she cried out as he slammed back into her, the feeling of him filling her completely was esquisette..

"Say it natalie...SAY IT!" he damn near shouted..

"Yours, im YOURS! Oh my god!" she yelled this time not carrying if anyone heard her..

He took control of her body as he fucked her against the wall of the pool, not letting up as he slammed into her again and again, then his hand went to her throat as he squeezed lightly, holding her in place as his other hand kneeded her ass...

"Oh thats right baby...cum..CUM" he shouted as his mouth attacked hers again in a frenzy. She was stuck between him and the wall, the pressure he exerted on her neck was out of this world, it made the sensations that much stronger.."Fuck Natalie!" he shouted as he broke free of her mouth as he threw his head back and then he was withdrawing from her body as he came against her in the pool, his mouth attacking hers again as her body shook and continued to convulse.

Just when she didnt think she could take anymore he replaced fingers were his cock was lay and she cried out, surely she couldnt take any more but he didnt let up as he fucked her with his fingers as his lips bruised hers, taking all of her moans into his mouth...

"No more, i cant" she gasped as he broke free of her mouth and then just like that he lifted her out of the water and to the edge of the pool, sitting her down as his mouth dove between her legs and she cried out with pleasure as his tongue pushed its way inside her.."ahhhhhh"

Her hands went instinctively to his hair, tugging him against her as he fucked her with his tongue, another orgasm ripped through her, threatening to completely undo her as she laid back on the cool concrete, breathing irratically as he placed soft kisses on the inside of her thighs..

"now that is the way it should of been the first time" he grinned against her flesh and she couldnt even answer him, she was gone, so far gone, this is where she wanted to be forever..

Natalie felt like her legs had turned to jelly as they both laid completely dressed now in the pool side chairs, she could barely make out words to say..

"I take it that silence is a good thing from you" he grinned as he looked at her..

"Mmm hmm" she managed as she looked at him, god he was amazing. He reached over and brushed his fingers over her knuckles as she sat there looking at him, a big cheesy ass grin on her face..

"well i do believe you look thouroghly fucked Miss Buchanan" he smirked..

"i feel it too" she said with a smirk and then a surprising yawn escaped her lips as he began to stand..

"we should go, you need sleep" he said and she whined in protest, she didnt want to get up, hell she didnt know if she could.."i will carry you out if i have to" he raised an eyebrow at her..

"fine im getting up" she huffed like a child..

"I didnt say that like it was a bad thing" he grinned as she stood now and he helped her up..

"You are proud of yourself arent you Mr. McBain" she said with heavy sated eyes..

"Of course" he kissed her hand.."Lets go" he lead the way off of the roof and she knew that from this moment on he had her, hook, line and sinker, she was definitely a goner and that could be either a very good thing or a horribly bad one, but right now she tried not to think of it..

They made their way outside to their cars and John stopped as he walked her over to hers..

"so will you come back to my place or do you want me to go to yours" he asked without much of an area for discussion but she knew what she had to do and while she had her wits about her..

"actually um, i was thinking we could both go back to our own places,..alone" she said as she swallowed hard as she waited for his reaction. As much as she wanted to go back to his place or bring him to hers for that matter she also knew that neither of them would get much sleep and she still did have a job outside of all this newfound craziness..

He stood and looked at her for a moment before talking.."Ok so let me get this straight you want to go home alone" he seemed almost confused and he was, he wasnt use to this, he wanted to have her with him, he needed to have her with him..

"Listen before you go all cave man on me" she touched his arm but he was already turning to stone as he stood there.."i want to spend time with you, alot of time but" he looked like he was getting pissed but she continued anyways.."But i have to work and i do need to sleep sometime" she said low..

"am i keeping you from sleeping" he looked genuinely concerned as he looked at her..

"No... i mean yes... i mean you will" she said with a nervous laugh..

"so you just want to go home" he said again..

"you have to admit this is a little sudden you know" she said nervously..

"wow you are totally blowing me off" he said with a shake of his head..

"No... see im not, its just...its..." her voice trailed..

"normal, right" he said with a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair and began to pace..

"Your mad" she said low...

He finally stopped pacing.."No... well sort of" he said honestly..

"John" she began as he looked at her..

"No i get it, i mean i dont like it but i get it, this is what you meant about compromise, huh?" he said as he walked back over to her..

"Kind of" she said with a soft smile..

"and i cant even try to change your mind" he said with a seductive grin as he touched her face and for a moment she got lost in his touch and the promise it brought but she had to step back, she just had to, and she did just that as he looked at her.."you know i could make you" he raised an eyebrow at her..

"But you wont" she said seriously as he sighed..

"I really dont like the idea of you going home by yourself" he said seriously..

"I can see that but i also know that you understand what i am saying" she said with a nervous smile..

"are you using reverse psychology on me Miss Buchanan" he finally smiled some now as he walked closer to her, closing in the distance between them..

"maybe, is it working" she swallowed hard, she was losing her will power already..

He took a deep breath as he stood there and he pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear.."No" he said with a heavy breath as her eyes got wide.."but i wont fight you on this" he said surprisingly and she smiled now..

"compromise, see? Its not so hard" she smirked now..

"On the subject of things hard" he grinned as he moved his lips to hers and kissed her softly as he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his ever growing erection against her belly as she moaned into his mouth and he quickly pulled back.."well good night then" he smiled smugly, knowing that he had affected her as she stood there panting and he opened her car door for her..

"You do not play fair" she said a bit breathless as she looked at him..

"I never said i did" he grinned and it took everything in her to get into her own car as he held the door still..

"goodnight John" she said as her heart raced..

"goodnight...Natalie" he said as he closed her door and she knew she had to leave right now or there was no turning back, she quickly started her car as he stepped back and watched her, with a final wave she put the car in drive and took off..

She made it home in record time and as she stepped into her apartment her cell phone went off, alerting her to a text message, she looked at it quick..

**Work is so overrated.. Until tomorrow, sweet dreams**

Natalie couldnt help the cheesy smile on her face, he actually compromised with her which she knew was incredibly difficult for him to do, she began to text him back..

**I know what i will be dreaming about ;)**

She put her phone down as she walked to her bedroom, she couldnt stop smiling as she quickly stripped out of her clothes and jumped in the shower.. By the time she got out she as thoroughly exhausted, tonight had weighed a bigger toll on her then she had expected, she went back in the living room and grabbed her phone, seeing it had two text messages there..

**You dont play fair, no tempting the cave man :)**

The next one read..

**I know what i will be thinking about tonight, goodnight sweetheart**

She smiled yet again, she was sure her cheeks would be absolutely killing her if he kept this up, she contemplated texting him back but thought better of it, she really did need to sleep sometime, she took her phone with her in the bedroom and she climbed under the covers and for once she fell into a very sated and satisfied sleep..

By the next day at work she found herself smiling big as she made her way to her office, people were actually looking at her like she had three heads as she walked through the office, had no one ever seen her smile before?

She got to her office with her coffee in hand and tried to juggle and get the door open but a hand came up and did that for her, she glanced up and saw Cris standing there, and her eyes got wide, he was back already..

"Hi" he said low as her eyes narrowed at him.."I know your mad, i just want to explain"

"there is nothing to explain Cris" she snapped at him angrily as she pushed past him and went into her office but he followed her..

"I was worried about you ok" he continued and she sighed heavily..

"you went to my uncle, you took something that we talked about in private" she said with annoyance as he sulked like a scorned child..

"Im sorry" he said low..

"yeah well sorry doesnt cut it" she snapped as she put her coffee down, he was already ruining her good mood..

"natalie come on were partners" he began as she looked at him now..

Her eyes glaring at him.."yeah well apparently we have different meanings for that word, now if you dont mind"

"i wasnt trying to get you in trouble" he almost whined..

Natalie couldnt help but roll her eyes.."Im an adult Cris, the choices i make are no ones business but mine, you had no right, none at all" she raised her voice some..

"I didnt want to see you get hurt" he said low...

"fine whatever, this conversation is over" she quickly sat down and fired up her computer, he still stood there and she sighed heavily..

"i heard about Rex, is he ok" he stood nervously by her door..

"he's fine" she said with a clipped voice as she looked back down at her desk..

"were on patrol duty today" he said low and she looked up now and huffed..

"fine, whatever" she snapped..

"please dont be mad at me natalie" he said in the most pathetic voice.."Your my friend, one of my only friends" he cast his eyes down..

Maybe it was because of her newfound happiness, maybe it was her age showing but she suddenly lightened as she sighed, she could be grown about this.."how am i suppose to trust you anymore"

"I swear i will make it up to you natalie, i swear" he said apologetically.."Just name it and i'll do it" he said pathetically low..

"Cris" she said with a shake of her head as she sighed..

"Please natalie, im sorry, i mean it" she finally looked at him now and damn it he looked genuine, she sighed again..

"Fine..." she huffed and then pointed her finger at him.."dont ever and i mean ever do that again Cris, cause next time i will personally kick your ass, got it?"

"Loud and clear" he said with a nod of his head.."But now we have to go" he began as she sighed..

"already?" she huffed, she hated this patrol duty..

"I know it sucks, but..." he shrugged his shoulders..

"fine, lets go" she said as she got up and they headed out..

John walked around his club assessing all the damage, when he found the son of a bitch who did this he would seriously lose it, his lifes work destroyed..

"How much is this going to cost us" he heard her voice and immediately stiffened as he sighed heavily..

"the club will be fixed Evangeline" he said with frustration as he kept checking things out, ignoring her as she walked over to him..

"You look tense john" she said as her hand came up to his arm and he snapped it back as he looked at her now..

"I built half of this shit in here from scratch, what do you expect me to look like" he snapped angrily..

"You really are in a pissy mood huh" she said as she went to touch him again and he looked at her hard..

"dont ok..." he said warningly..

"Ok so now i cant touch you" she said sarcastically..He just stared at her..."John?" she said with annoyance..

"You should just go im busy, i will update you with the progress" he said sternly as she huffed..

"your seriously gonna brush me off" she said in a shocked voice.."Im horny and i want to fuck" she snapped angrily and he looked at her again..

"what part of go the fuck away do you not understand" he snapped bitterly..

"is it because of that girl" she said with a sarcastic laugh as she looked at him.."Oh my god john do not tell me your really thinking about messing around with her"

"You know what this conversation is over, my life is none of your business" he snapped at her..

"Oh please since when" she rolled her eyes at him..

"Im not having this conversation with you" he spun from her now, he knew when it came to Evangeline he had to pick his battles.

They had been in a relationship, sort of, once upon a time but that was a long time ago. They did occassionally fuck though, the most recent time being just a few weeks ago and as much as he knew getting involved with her again spelled nothing but trouble, hell he had been so frustrated over Natalie that he had just went with the flow and Evangeline was always ready and willing but this time she didnt seem to want to take no for an answer..

"You really think that she is going to be able to give you what you want, Huh" she yelled as he continued to walk.."do you want me to beg is that it Sir, is that what you want" she said seductively and he stopped now and slowly spun around as she knelt down on the floor with her head down.."I know you cant resist this John,... how long has it been since you got to punish me" she said with a smile as he looked at her and then he began to walk over as she smiled bigger..He stood in front of her and she glanced up at him through big lashes.."Ive been a bad girl"

He leaned down and grabbed her arm roughly, yanking her up as she gasped..."and im not going to tell you again, leave" he said in a warning tone as she blinked in shocked..He quickly let go of her arm..

"I like this game" she smiled and just like that she pulled at the buttons on her shirt and snapped it open to reveal nothing but her naked breasts.."touch them i know you want to"

"dont you ever get tired of making an ass of yourself Evangeline" Steele said as he entered the room and she glared at him..

"shut up Steele" she said as she covered her chest up..

"evangeline was just leaving" John said as he turned from her again..

"seriously Evangeline you should go home and get some sleep i think i see a wrinkle" Steele said as he walked past her..

"Your not allowed to treat me like this John" she snapped as she ignored Steele, he got to his office and stepped inside, ignoring her some more, Steele followed him..

"Piss off Evangeline" Steele said as he flipped her the bird and closed Johns office door.."the chick is becoming psycho, seriously we need to just buy her out already" Steele huffed.."she acts like you guys have been sleeping together again" he began as John looked at him, guilty written all over his face as he poured himself a drink.."ah shit john, when did you start banging her again" he said with a shake of his head..

"It was just a few times, i dont want to talk about it" John said as he sipped his drink..

"Jesus john why, i thought you were trying this thing out with Natalie" Steele began as John looked at him hard..

"I am and it was before her, why are you making such a big deal out of this" he snapped at his friend as guilt coursed through him, he had created that monster in there, he knew that..

"cause you remember damn well what happened last time you two fucked around" Steele snapped.."shit man now she aint ever gonna leave you alone" he said with disapproval..

"You dont think i havent thought of that, shit! Let me deal with her ok" John huffed as he sipped his drink..

"fine" Steele through his hands up in defeat.."I didnt come over here to talk about that crazy bitch anyways, im more interested in what happened last night with you and Red" Steele grinned..

"Oh you got a pet name for her now? Cute.. dont use it again" John said sternly as Steele rolled her eyes..

"Oh man you got it bad, i want details" he grinned..

"yeah well you aint getting any" John said as he took a seat..

"Really? Your just gonna leave me in the dark" Steele said with shock..

"kind of looks that way huh" John said nonchalantly..

"i thought we were bro's" Steele huffed as he sat down and crossed his long legs..

"yeah well i dont need you jerking off to the thought of her" John said seriously..

"please like that has ever stopped me before" Steele laughed and John looked at him hard.."shit man im joking...relax" he said seriously now..

"lets not do that ok" John said with a serious tone.." we have a bunch of things to go over"

Steele sighed loud.."ok fine, you really are a cranky son of a bitch"

Natalie and Cris sat in the patrol car on 4th street, they were hidden behind a large advertising sign as Cris held the radar detector in his hand, things had lightened up between them as Cris told of how it went visiting with his family in Puerto Rico..

Natalie glanced down as he talked when a text message came through..

**It really sucks not being around you, when do you get off im going through withdrawals here...**

Natalie smiled as she texted him back...

**Stuck doing patrol duty, hoping i wont be late, i want to see you too :)**

She couldnt believe she was acting like a love sick puppy dog, she smiled again as Cris looked at her...

"i take it everything is going good between you and him" his vocie held sadness even though he tried to hide it..

"me and who?" she tried to play dumb..

"come on nat i know your talking to him, were friends remember, you can talk to me" he said with a half smile..

"Nothing is going on" she said nervously as another text message came through..

**Im jealous of everyone you pull over, god your hot in your uniform and by the way cuffs can be fun too, just saying ;)**

Natalie held back a giggle as she looked at the message, god he was a kinky fucker!

"You really got a thing for him huh" Cris interupted her mind as it wandered to John..

"what? No" she said with a nervous smile..

Cris rolled his eyes.."You havent stopped smiling"

"Really?" she smiled again, she couldnt help it..

"Uh yeah, i mean i hate to admit it but the guy must be doing something right" he smirked some now..

"he's just a friend" she said nervously..

"Listen i will be honest i was worried about the guy but i know your not stupid, if you think he is ok then i think he is ok too" he said with a smile..

" do you really mean that" she asked..

"were friends Nat, of course i mean it" he smiled and she lightend up some..

"he is really nice" she blurted out..

"He isnt trying to make you, well...you know" Cris began and she shook her head quickly...

"No its not like that, he's...well...he's being normal" she said honestly as another text message went off..

**Your being quiet, did i say something wrong?**

Natalie quickly texted back... **Just busy protecting our streets and no you didnt say anything wrong, dont you have work to do?**

"normal is good" Cris said with a smile, her phone went off again and Cris looked back out to the street..

**I know what i would like to be doing..Im hard just thinking about you...**

Natalie's eyes got wide and she let out a nervous laugh as Cris looked at her, she shoved her phone in her pocket as her body temperature rose, she couldnt have this conversation with him right now, not with Cris in the car..

"everything ok?" he asked as he looked at her..

"yep just fine" she said with a nervous smile as she stared out to the road...

By the time Natalie had gotten back to the station she had completely forgotten about texting John back, her and Cris were laughing as they walked into her office but she stopped short when she saw they werent alone, she immediately stopped laughing..

"please dont stop on my account" John said as he stared at her and then at Cris, she knew that this was definitely not good, not good at all..


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty Five

Staring into those dark blue eyes natalie felt her heart damn near exploded in her chest.."John" she said in shock as she looked at him, damn he looked pissed..

"Natalie" he tone was clipped and short but he didnt look at her he looked at Cris.."Cris" he said as he sized the kid up..

"John" Cris said as he stood there, natalie felt like she may vomit..

"so um what brings you around John" she said nervously as she walked over to him..

"Im just gonna go" Cris said as the tension rose..

"No please by all means stay" John said sarcastically and for a second it looked like Cris was contemplating it as he looked at John then at Natalie but then he quickly scurried out of the door..

"everything ok" Natalie asked nervously, suddenly she remembered her phone, damn it she hadnt texted him back, she wondered what he had written..

"Oh its perfect" he said as he walked past her.."so you two are buddies again i see, thats good" she could hear the annoyance in his voice and she seriously didnt want to do this now, not at her place of work..

"John" she said low and he stopped now as he turned and faced her, he forced a smile..

"are you ready to go" he was being cold and she sighed...

"You know nothing is going on between me and Cris" she finally said as he looked at her..

"why would i ever think that" he said with a sarcastic smile...

"Listen we were on patrol" she began and his eyes got wide..Crap!

"Oh really now, i guess that little bit of information was lost somehow" he said dryly..

"Cris is my partner" she sighed..

"No of course, but he is the same partner that ran off to your uncle and tried to get you in trouble, right? That partner?" he narrowed his eyes some..

"It wasnt like that" she said low as she walked up to him but he didnt budge..

"Really? Defending the guy now, interesting" she could see how pissed he was, it made her heart race..

"im not defending anyone" she said quickly as she touched his arm but he stood still.."Please dont do this right now" she said low..

"How come you dont laugh with me like that" he was being childish and she rolled her eyes.."You want to fuck him?"

She blinked in shock and then stepped back from him.."jesus john no...god, why do you have to do this" she snapped..

"why do i have to do this? Hell i see you conversating and laughing with the enemy, pardon me for wondering what the hell is going on" he raised his voice some..

"he is not the enemy ok, he was worried about me thats all" she sighed..

"Oh please he is only worried about getting in your pants" he snapped..

"god not everyone is trying to get in my pants john" she said with sarcasm, now she was getting annoyed..He just stared at her.."the only person i want in my pants is you" she said as she touched his arm again and he stiffen some as she kept her hand on him.."i thought after yesterday you would know that" she put her arms around his neck as he stood there like a damn statue.."stop it john, your being a big baby" she said as she kept her arms around his neck..

"I dont like him" he said honestly.."actually i wouldnt mind having a little one on one with him right now" his voice held seriousness..

"i work with him and like it or not he is my friend" she held her ground..

"really now?" he looked shocked and then he finally wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.. "maybe i need to show you how i feel again" his voice was low and seductive and she felt her heart race..

She knew what that look meant and as much as it sped up her pulse, she also knew she was at work and in her office.."there is no need for that John" she said nervously..

"Oh so now your denying me?" he raised an eyebrow as his hands went to her ass and he pushed her against his very hard erection..

"John im at work" she said a bit breathless..

"and your point is" he finished as his mouth collasped on hers as he kissed her urgently, she got lost in the kiss for a moment, god he tasted so damn good, quickly she pushed him back slightly as his eyes got wide..

"we are not doing this here" she said as she backed up some and he looked at her with his eyes full of desire, he stalked his way over as she kept backing up.."John i mean it, im at work"

"and you have a very nice office" he grinned something wicked as her back hit the wall.."thats a nice wall too" he boxed her in with his hands on either side of her head.."its a good wall to fuck you against" his voice was filled with desire as he looked at her and she felt her body start to go into overdrive..

"John" she swallowed hard..

"natalie?" he smiled and then he pressed himself against her again, kissing her urgently, she felt her will power slipping as he pressed into her.."Ive been wanting to do that all day" he said in a raspy voice.."see what you do to me" he groaned..

"someone could walk in" she said breathless as he pulled back..

"good point" he began as he stepped from her and she tried to control her breathing but then she saw him walk over to the door and lock it quickly as he looked back at her..

" no...not here" she could barely breathe as he walked back over to her and shook his head yes.."John, seriously"

"Oh believe me im serious" he said as he attacked her mouth again, kissing her with a shit load of pent up aggression, god he would be the death of her, she barely registered that his hands were on her pants, it hadnt hit her until he yanked them down, along with her panties and she gasped.."Miss Buchanan, i do believe your panting" he grinned as her eyes got wide, he was gonna fuck her in her office, as much as the idea made her heart race it also scared the hell out of her, what if someone heard them..

"John, we cant" she went to lean down to pull up her pants but he stopped her as he pushed her against the wall..

"these walls are thin Natalie, you wouldnt want anyone to hear would you?" he smirked and then he was spinning her around as she heard his zipper go down as he held her flush against the wall and she gasped..

He yanked on her hips, pulling her ass to his thick erection as she gasped.."shhhh" he whispered in her ear as he leaned against her, his cock pressing against her as he nipped at her ear.."You may want to cover your mouth" he grinned and before she got a chance to do just that he filled her in one quick decisive move, her body stiffened at the invasion and she let out a squeak.. He stayed embedded in her as he leaned into her back, her legs were shakng now, she couldnt believe they were doing this in her office, it was so...so...hot!.."god your so fucking wet Natalie" he groaned in her ear and she bit down on her lip to prevent herself from moaning in return.."and now im going to fuck the shit out of you" his words were low and oh so seductive as he bit on her ear and then his hands immediately went to her hips as he began fucking her hard and fast..

"Oh god" she said with a whisper as he took her body to a whole other level, she couldnt even think as he fucked her, she was oddly aware that right outside was her co-workers and her uncle but he didnt let up, not one bit..

"are you gonna cum for me Natalie" he whispered in her ear, all she could do was let out a quiet moan...He then moved his fingers past her throat and to her mouth.."suck" he ordered her in a low voice as he pushed his fingers into her mouth and she sucked against them hard.."thats right sweetheart" he continued to fuck her relenetlessly..

She sucked and bit against his fingers, it was the only thing she could do besides scream out in pleasure, he felt so good. He kept quiet as he pounded into her, only the sound of quiet grunts were heard and she was barely hanging on by a string now as her legs began to shake violently and her body convulsed and squeezed him.."ah fuck im gonna cum" he said right as he pulled out of her and she felt the warm spray of fluid hit her ass as she panted against the wall.. His breathing was labored as he fumbled around her office but she was only half aware as her legs threatened to give in and then she felt him clean up his mess with a tissue as she stood there and then he was pulling her back against him as he pulled her onto a near by chair, sitting on his lap with her pants still around her ankles as he smoothed back her hair and placed small kisses in it..She was completely blown away and shocked by his compassionate side as he held her like a child, and it was at that time that she knew that she was totally and helplessly falling for this man..

A few minutes later they were both dressed again as they stood staring at one another.."are you ready to go, im starving" he smirked as he brushed back some of her hair and she was snapped back into reality, they were in her office, they had fucked in her office against the wall, god she would never look at that wall the same way again, but she also knew that people would see them leaving together, possibly her uncle, the idea made her immediately feel sick..

"Yeah we should probably go" she said as she looked at the door then at him, he could see the worry in her eyes..

"dont worry about what anyone thinks...fuck them" he said nonchalantly and she couldnt help but laugh some..

"well i mean thats one way to look at it" she said with a nervous laugh..

"yeah well i hate to break it to you but your co-workers saw me come in here" he raised an eyebrow and she swallowed hard..

"I just dont like rumors" she said nervously..

"Like the fact that we just fucked in your office" he grinned big and her face turned red..

"Oh god we did just do that, didnt we" she said with a shake of her head.."so much for not starting rumors", the fact that he had gone into her office was the start of a huge one...

"we could put on a show next time" he grinned..

"You are a kinky bastard" she laughed..

"and what else is new" he rolled his eyes.."come on lets go" he grabbed her hand and before she could protest he damn near dragged her out of the room as her co-workers turned and looked at them, she felt her face flush, they kept walking, she could hear whispering but she tried her best to ignore it, she caught the sight of Cris by the break room and he looked at him, she smiled nervously as John kept walking, his hand latched onto hers, and then they were heading out into the cool air, this would definitely be the talk of the office!

Natalie sat across from him at the small restuarant, she couldnt help the girlish smile she had on her face as she looked at him, it may just be plastered there.."see i like that, i want to see more of that" he said as he ate..

"I just cant believe we walked out like that, you do know my office is probably buzzing right now" she said with a shake of her head and then suddenly she thought of her uncle and then of her dad, that took her smile away..

"dont worry what anyone thinks natalie, are you happy?" he asked as he looked at her..

"yes surprisingly enough i am" she said honestly..

"then thats all that matters, now eat or i will take you over my knee" he said in a serious tone as her eyes got wide, he then smiled and winked as she began to eat..

She ate the majority of her food, surprised that she actually ate that much, she had worked up an appetite, she sighed as she leaned back in the chair, god she was full..

"Im impressed you ate just about everything" he grinned..

"yeah well i had quite the workout earlier" she smirked..

"Indeed you did Miss Buchanan" he leaned back as he put his hands behind his head.."so are you ready for round two" he raised an eyebrow at her..

"You are insatiable Mr. McBain" she laughed..

"its only cause you make me that way" he said seriously and it made her blood began to race again, how the hell could he do that.."But i do know its a work night" he sighed as he ran a hand through his long hair, she loved his hair, she got stuck looking at it for a moment, the way his fingers ran through it.."You know if you keep looking at me like that" he smirked and she snapped herself out of it as she blushed..

"You are very distracting" she said honestly...

"distracting can be good" he grinned as he now stood, she stood as well.."shall we go?" he put his hand out to her and she smiled as she took it..

"yeah lets go" she said with a smile as they left..

She stared at him as he drove, she couldnt believe how quickly things were happening between them, was he feeling it too? Was it just her? She felt so confused over what she was feeling, she had no idea if he felt the same way..She finally noticed he was pulling back up to the station..

"I assume you want to drive your own car home" he said as he pulled up next to hers..

"what? No fighting?" she said with shock and he looked at her now..

"I can learn...sometimes" he said with almost a shy smile..

"You are full of surprises" she said as she smiled and shook her head...

"I am aim to please" he grinned..

"and that you do very very well" she said honestly

"You make it easy to do" he said honestly and she swallowed hard, god he could be so sweet at times..He got out of the car and she watched as he walked over and opened her door, he put his hand in to help her as she climbed out.."You do know im not sure how much longer i can keep this up" he said as he brushed a piece of her hair back..

"Keep what up" she said as she looked into his dark blue pools..

"watching you leave, i only have so much patience Miss Buchanan" he said with a smile..

"sleep is a very vital point of life Mr. McBain" she smiled and he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close

"what are you doing to me Natalie" he said low against her hair, she was thinking the same exact thing but she didnt dare say anything just yet, what they had was nice, very nice but the reality of the situation was very much real and well that definitely put a damper on things..

The next few days went sort of the same, they spoke every chance they got, they'd eat dinner and then spend hours having sex until she left and went home, it became a ritual for them and oddly enough her uncle nor her father had called her out on her recent behaviour which she was happy about..She just wanted to stay in her happy place and forget everything else.

Each day she spent with him, the more she missed him when he wasnt there, she really was falling for him and hard.. On this particular night he had cooked for them at his apartment and surprisingly enough he was a very good cook, he had made them some shrimp and pasta which tasted devine and then he had taken her right in front of his fire place, it was actually quite romantic the way he had all the candles lit, she laid now with a light blanket on her naked form as her head rested on his chest and he ran his fingers up and down her back, would it always be like this?

"You dont have to work tomorrow, you could stay overnight" he said low as he rubbed her back and she smiled against his strong chest.."is that a yes?" he said with hope in his voice and she looked up at him now..

"i think i could maybe pull some strings" she smirked, the fact of the matter was that she slept like crap at home, she missed him at night and she had been looking forward to the weekend coming for days now..

"Oh yeah" he grinned..."I got some strings id like to pull" he smirked and then quickly pushed her on her back as he hovered over her, he looked absolutely beautiful in the light of the fireplace.. He brushed his knuckles on her cheek as he looked at her.."I will never get tired looking at you, looking at what i do to you" he said honestly..

"you have created a monster" she smirked and he did too...

"i could get use to this vanilla thing" he smirked again..

"Vanilla huh..." she picked her head up some and kissed him softly...He quickly deepened the kiss as his tongue lapped against hers, this kiss was different then the others, it was softer, more passionate, it felt like, well it felt alot like love..

John shifted over her as she felt his cock swell at an alarming rate, he pushed into her slowly and the feeling rushed through her whole body, he filled her slowly, painfully slow as she moaned against his mouth..

Slowly he pulled his face from hers as he looked down at her, his face suddenly serious, it was breathtaking.."natalie..I...I" he began to say as her heart began to race, was he about to say what she thought he was, she didnt know if she was ready yet to hear it but apparently fate had another idea as loud pounding was heard on the door and he snapped his head around..

"John open up...JOHN!" Steele yelled almost frantically and just like that John was jumping up from her, he looked pissed as he went to the door, still naked as the day he was born, Natalie quickly yanked the blanket up her body covering herself as John swung open the door...

"what the fuck steele!' he yelled at him as Steele's eyes got wide..

"shit man, cover up" Steele said as he spun around, natalie wanted to die as she covered herself up some more..

"what the hell are you doing pounding on my door like that" John stood there, not moving..

"You didnt answer your phone" Steele began as he kept his back turned..

"cause i was busy" John barked again..

"I apparently see that now" Steele began.."hey natalie"

"dont hey her, what the hell do you want, this better be good" John said as he now walked across the room and pulled his jeans on...

Steele now turned and looked at him.."it is, can we talk in private" he said as he looked at natalie and she turned a million shades of red..

"whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of Natalie" John said quickly and natalie now saw an urgency in Steele, something big had happened..

Steele looked at her then at John.."it's Evangeline" he said low..

"I know your not interupting me because of her" John said angrily..

"John theres been an accident, she is in the hospital" Steele said low but natalie heard him as she sat up now, bringing the blanket with her..

"what? What do you mean an accident" John said with worry in his voice and Natalie hated that she immediately felt jealous..

"man its bad she ...she tried to kill herself" Steele finally spit out as Natalie gasped, John looked at her and that was when she saw the grief covering his face, oh god, he was upset about this, about her..

"tell me what happened" John said with an urgency..

"I dont know man, i got the call and i headed up there" Steele said quietly..

"what the hell was she thinking" John said loud as he grabbed for his shirt and then he finally stopped and looked at natalie, he didnt say anything for a minute..

"You should go up there" she finally said as he looked at her and then put his shirt on as he walked over..

"Natalie i didnt want tonight to end like this, i wanted to tell you something" he said low and she swallowed hard..

"I'll give you guys a minute" Steele said as he left the room and she stood now..

"its fine, you should really go" she forced a smile, god she hated this, she hated how affected he looked by this..

"i dont know why she would do this" he said with a shake of his head as if he was trying to somehow wrap his mind around it..Natalie knew exactlly why cause she was a manipulating little bitch but she kept that to herself, right now was not the time..

"You should make sure she is ok" she said again..

"I dont want to leave you here like this" he said low as he touched her face.."but" he began and she felt her heart breaking, this was her worst nightmare..

"I understand" she tried to be unbiased but it was a lie, she was beyond upset..

"Im just going to run up there with Steele, i promise i will be back as soon as possible" he touched her face some more..

"its fine...i'll watch some tv" she forced a smile..

"You really are the best natalie, i will make this up to you" he said with a quick kiss and then he was grabbing his shoes and heading to the door.."I will be right back" he said as he left and she stood there completely and utterly alone now, feeling as if someone had ripped out her heart and stomped it into the ground..

_The Flame lyrics_

Another night slowly closes in  
And I feel so lonely  
Touching heat freezing on my skin  
I pretend you still hold me

I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep  
I'm in too far, I'm in way too deep over you  
I can't believe you're gone  
You were the first, you'll be the last

Wherever you go, I'll be with you  
Whatever you want, I'll give it to you  
Whenever you need someone to lay your heart and head upon  
Remember after the fire, after all the rain  
I will be the flame, I will be the flame

Watching shadows move across the wall  
It feels so frightening  
I wanna run to you, I wanna call  
But I've been hit by lightening

Just can't stand up for fallin' apart  
Can't see through this veil across my heart, over you  
You'll always be the one  
You were the first, you'll be the last

Wherever you go, I'll be with you  
Whatever you want, I'll give it to you  
Whenever you need someone to lay your heart and head upon  
Remember after the fire, after all the rain  
I will be the flame, I will be the flame

I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep  
I'm in too far, I'm in way too deep over you  
You'll always be the one  
You were the first, you'll be the last

Wherever you go, I'll be with you  
Whatever you want, I'll give it to you  
Whenever you need someone to lay your heart and head upon  
Remember after the fire, after all the rain  
I will be the flame, I will be the flame

Whatever you want, I'll give it to you  
Wherever you go, I'll be with you  
And whatever you want, I'll give it to you  
Oh whatever you want, I'll give it to you


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six

"I'll be right back" seem to be famous last words as natalie stood now dressed in his apartment, it had been almost three hours and yet he hadnt called or came back, she was restless, anxious and well upset. He had taken off as if the world was ending and it irked her, why did he care so much about that bitch! Then the idea dawned on her, he had to of been in a relationship with her at some point, the idea made her sick as she quickly began grabbing her shoes, what other secrets did he have that she didnt know about, she had to find out one way or another...

John sat at the bar after having one too many, he was alone now and feeling like shit, Steele had already taken off and he ordered another shot, it had been a long time since he had drank this much, his mind couldnt stop going back to what Evangeline told him..

It was hours earlier when he had arrived at the hospital with Steele, all he had gotten out of his friend was that she had been found in her apartment with an empty bottle of pills beside her. John couldnt help but feel guilt creep up on him, had he been responsible for this, had he pushed her to do this?

"dont beat yourself up over this John, evangeline makes her own choices in life" Steele said as if he could read his mind..

"maybe i was too hard on her, maybe i could of been nicer" he said with guilt consuming him..

See there was a time when he had cared a great deal for Evangeline, it had been years ago though but she had proved herself over and over again to be untrustworthy and when she finally declared her love for him he didnt know how to react, he pushed her away and put the shell back up..

Evangeline knew too much about him, about his past, hell she had helped him out of alot of trouble back in the day, that was how he had met her, she had represented him in court when he was almost thrown away in jail for domestic violence, it was a bad time for him, he was young, he didnt know any better and his bitterness and resentment for women had been at a all time high...

Evangeline had helped him, she got him off with nothing but a fine and even was able to make the charges disappear, he owed his life to her, or atleast that is what he thought at the time, he never knew what was in store for him..

Evangeline showed him a place to channel his anger, she had showed him to this world of darkness and as much as it scared the shit out of him it had made him stronger, more in control of his emotions, see cause Evangeline had been his Dom for almost a year, and for the most part he was grateful for it. He felt like he needed to be punished for his sins, he felt like this is what he had deserved but like all true Doms who go through this particular part in their lives, well John began to stand on his own, he began to branch out, he no longer wanted to play the part of the submissive, no, he was a Dom through and through..

She had helped him with that too and when he had gone to Steele about it, the two of them decided on this club. Steele was already messed up with the goth crowd and partaking in some crazy shit himself so it wasnt much of a transition for him, but for John opening this club, well it changed his life and for the better..

_Looking at Evangeline now as she laid in the hospital bed, she looked damn pathetic and he felt for her, she wasnt a bad person, he had just grown over the years, his interests had changed and well Natalie had come into the picture and for the first time in a very long time he felt like he could have a shot at something normal-ish.._

She looked pale as he looked at her, her normal light brown skin seeming washed out now, he walked over to her and she began to stir, her brown eyes opening to meet his.."John" she whispered through hazy eyes..

"evangeline, what were you thinking" he said softly as he touched her hand and tears filled her eyes as she looked at him.."dont ok, its fine, everything is going to be fine, im gonna get you the help you need" he said honestly, it was the least he could do but her next words would haunt him as her eyes got bigger, tears pouring out of them now..

"Im...im pregnant John" she barely squeaked out through tears and i took him a second to register what she was saying, his eyes got wide.."Im sorry, im so sorry" she moved her hands to her face and cried as he looked at her in shock...

John looked at Steele as they sat at the bar, he was on shot number two and so was Steele..."are you sure, maybe she was lying" Steele said with concern as he looked at his friend..

"Yeah that thought ran through my mind too until" Johns voice trailed off as he though of the doctor who had come in the room, the one who was reassuring her that the baby was ok, a baby, like a living breathing baby growing inside her and she was adament that it was his..

"ah shit man, im sorry... i mean i dont even know how she knows for sure it is yours, i mean your usually pretty good with protection right" Steele said and John couldnt even look at him, all he could think about was the last time he had been with Evangeline, he was drunk, really drunk and it was one of those times, one of those few times that he hadnt put a condom on..Steele ordered another shot as John stared blankly..

"I could be a father" John said low.."I dont even like kids" he was merely just stating the facts, he had never wanted to be a dad..

"what are you going to say to natalie" Steele asked and John looked at him now, for the first time in his life he had no idea what to say or what to do..

Natalie walked back into her empty apartment, she couldnt stand sitting at his place alone, waiting for him, it was driving her crazy, the idea of him sitting by that Bitch's bedside was driving her crazy, he hadnt even called her yet and it had been many hours, she felt sick and disgusted..

She looked around her quiet apartment, she was beginning to hate it there. She stared into the living room feeling depression slipping over her, why did everything have to be so fucked up, her inner conscious laughed at her, telling her this is what she got for hooking up with a fucked up guy, she quickly snapped herself out of her thoughts as she went to her bedroom, maybe she would feel better in the morning, maybe she would wake up and everything would be fine, she tried to convince herself of that, she had to otherwise she would go crazy..

Laying in her bed now she stared at the ceiling trying to will herself to fall asleep but she couldnt stop staring at her phone, it was nearly 1 am now and all she wanted to do was call him but she wouldnt allow herself to do that, she couldnt, if he wanted to talk to her he would call her. The more time that passed the worst she felt, maybe he wouldnt call at all, maybe this was it, maybe this was all she wrote, maybe that bitch finally did what she was trying to accomplish..

A loud knocking on her door startled her from her depressive thoughts as she sat up, looking at her clock, the knocking got louder and more frantic and thens he heard his voice..

"natalie...Natalie open the door" he yelled and she froze, it was him, it was John..

She ran out of her room like a bat out of hell, skidding to a stop as she got to the door, he was really there.."come on" he yelled but it was more of a slur and her heart began to race, was he drunk? He sounded drunk, she quickly swung the door open and the sight she saw was a pretty sad one, there he was at her door, a sweaty mess, reeking of alcohol. His shirt looked torn and she saw something red on it, blood, it was blood..

"John" she said in shock as he smiled at her now..

"You left, why did you leave" he said as he went to walk in and almost fell as she caught his massive weight and stumbled back herself.."Hey" he said with a drunken smile as he looked at her..

"Oh my god how did you get here, did you drive like this, are you bleeding" she said as she finally looked down at his hands, his knuckles were bloody and bruising now, he looked like he gave someone a beat down..

"wooo slow it down, too fast" he slurred as he looked at her...

"come on lets sit you down" she said as her heart raced, he had fought someone and he was piss ass drunk..He stumbled his way to her couch as she kept one of his arms over her shoulder..He fell to the couch as she tried to get him to sit, he almost made her fall as he began to laugh drunkingly.."are you hurt" she said with concern as he laughed..

"Hurt? You should see the other guy" he laughed as he laid there..

"Just stay right here" she said as she ran into her kitchen and grabbed a towel and wet it as she ran back in the livingroom, just in time to stop him from trying to get up.."woo hold up, dont move, your hurt" she said as she quickly stood in front of him..

"Im fine" he said as he looked at his own hands.."Or not, good thing i cant feel anything" he laughed again and she sighed..

"John what did you do" she said as she sat down next to him and grabbed his hand and began wiping his knuckles as he hissed and winced..

"Owww... what are you doing" he tried to yanked his hand back but she stopped him..

"Relax ok... your hurt" she said sternly as he smiled..

"Yes Maam" he said with a laugh..

"what happened John, who did you hit" she asked wondering if the cops would be at her door any minute..

"You mean who did i give an ass whooping too?" he laughed as she continued to wipe his knuckles..

"John please tell me that whoever you hit is ok" she said with worry..

"You worry too much, too beautiful too worry so much" he smiled at her as his other hand touched her face softly.."i dont deserve you" he said low as his words slurred some more..

"John i waited, i was worried, you didnt call, why didnt you call" she asked even though she knew she wouldnt get a straight answer out of him..

"I let you down didnt i" he said with sadness in his eyes, it made her feel like crap, why had he gone out and drank so much, was it because he was upset over Evangeline, was it something more, was he feeling guilty, she suddenly felt ill as she sat there, maybe something had happened and he was feeling guilt over it, maybe him and the bitch had...had... She let her mind trail off, she couldnt think like that, not right now..."Im sorry im so sorry, i fucked up..." he said as his voice began to shake and now she began to fell her own body shake, what had he done?.."Please dont hate me, if you hate me" his eyes began to well up with tears..

"John i dont hate you, im worried" she said with fear in her voice, something had upset him bad, he was literally on the verge of crying, John McBain crying, she knew this had to be a first and that was frightening..

"i shouldnt be here, i should go" he said low as he tried to get up and she pushed him back down on the couch, it was very easy to do with him being so drunk, he was powerless, he fell with a huff as he groaned..

"you are not leaving John" she said sternly as he looked at her with hazy eyes...His hand came up and touched her face again, he had so much sadness in his eyes that it killed her as she looked at him...

"I cant lose you natalie, i cant" he said low..

"Im not going anywhere John, im right here" she said as her voice shook and then he pulled her down on him, her head resting on his chest as he held her tight, she didnt even know what to say to him, she couldnt say anything so she just laid there and tried to relax her racing nerves, he continuingly kissed the top of her head as he held her..

She fell asleep at some point as he held her against him, it was his loud snoring that woke her up as she picked her head up, he looked so peaceful sleeping there, she just watched him for a few minutes wondering what the hell had taken place tonight..She finally moved herself off of him without waking him as he groaned and rolled on his side, she leaned down and removed his shoes, along with his socks as he laid there, then she went to her room to fetch a blanket..

As she grabbed the blanket from her bed she heard him yelling from the livingroom.."No...no stop it... i dont want to go... leave me alone" he yelled as he tossed and turned, it made her heart want to stop as she rushed over to him and put her hand on his chest to settle him, his eyes shot open wide as he looked at her disoriented, there was something else too, fear, so much fear in his eyes, it quickly faded though as he focused on her.."natalie" he said low as he pulled her back down on him and she brought the blanket over them as she nestled on top of him..His breathing began to relax and within minutes he was sleeping again, she couldnt help but wonder what had happened to him, he was just a fucked up mess, a fucked up mess that she had completely fallen for ..

John woke up at dawn with his head absolutely throbbing not to mention his hands were killing him, what had happened? He barely remembered last night at all, he had been at the bar with Steele, they had been drinking and then they started fighting, his eyes got wide as he remembered what had happened..

_"Im totally fucked man" John had slurred to Steele.._

"dont let her do this to you John, she is a kniving bitch you know that plus she spreads her legs quicker then anyone we know" steele began..

"so what am i suppose to do just pretend i dont know, how the hell am i suppose to do that, that could be my child in there" even saying the words made him feel ill..

"dont you see this is what she wants! Dont be fucking stupid, you got a good thing going with Natalie, you said so yourself" Steele tried to snap sense into him..

"yeah for how long, until she realizes how fucked up i am" John laughed drunkingly..

"your just talking a bunch of shit now" Steele said as he shook his head.."you need to sleep it off" he stood and grabbed Johns arm..

"what are you my fucking father, im not ready to go yet" John snatched his arm back roughly..

"You've had enough to dirnk John, we both have... you left Natalie in your apartment, remember?" Steele looked at him hard...

"why do you keep on bringing her up, what are you trying to do huh... you trying to fuck her, is that it" John snapped at him..

"Your being an asshole John.." steele began as he shook his head again..

"thats it, isnt it, you wanna fuck her" John yelled now as people looked at them..

"i think its time for you both to leave" the bartender said as he came over..

"unbelievable you are suppose to be my fucking friend" John carried on as he yelled at Steele..

"hes drunk, and were leaving" Steele said to the now worried looking bartender..

"fuck you i aint drunk" John snapped at Steele..

"dont do this John" Steele said warningly..

"You know what, fuck you man..." John yelled as he pushed Steele aside and stumbled for the door, Steele apologized to the bartender and then took off after John who was damn near falling as he got to his car..

"Your not driving John, dont be fuckng stupid" Steele yelled as he caught up to him...

"How long, HUH how long!" John yelled as he spun around...

"I dont want to fuck her ok!" steele finally yelled at him..

"You son of a bitch!"..Apparently John heard other wise cause the next thing Steele saw was Johns fist coming at his face and stricking him on his cheek as he stumbled back.."Just cause your bigger then me doesnt mean i wont take your ass down" John yelled..

And then they were going at it as Steele lunged for him, shoving him back hard as John fell to the ground..

"dont fucking touch me!" Steele yelled at him..."i said I DONT want to fuck her you asshole"

Apparently again John heard what he wanted as he jumped up and shoved Steele hard but not before Steele reached out and grabbed him, so when Steele fell back onto the ground, well John came with him..

They threw punches and wrestled as a crowd began to form around them..The bartender ran out and over to them as they fought.."thats it im calling the cops!" he yelled and they stopped now, in a heapt of sweat and blood as they looked at the now pissed off bartender..

Steele jumped up first and then John..."its ok man were going...right now" Steele put his hands up in a defeated mode...

John sighed as the memories came flooding back, him and Steele had fought over some stupid bullshit and then Steele brought him home, he had immediately saw Natalie was gone and he took off to find her, he glanced down at her now as she slept against his chest, she looked so peaceful, he smiled some as he smoothed her hair back and she began to wake up as she looked up at him with groggy eyes...She looked disoriented as she looked at him and she went to say something as his hand went to her lips, quieting her, she moved up his body some and he groaned at the contact...

And then his lips were meeting hers in a soft passionate kiss, she was still half asleep as she kissed him, wondering if she was dreaming or not.. Slowly he pushed her back as he held his hands on her face, neither of the saying anything as he looked at her, like really looked at her and then her mouth was collasping on his again as her hands went into his hair, deepening the kiss and enciting a deep moan from him as she rocked her pelvis against him..

The feeling of him hard beneath her set her on fire, she needed him urgenty and she couldnt wait, she felt so vulnerable, so weak, so afraid of what was behind his blue eyes, she didnt want this moment to end and she knew it would, she tugged at his shirt and pulled it from between them as he pulled his mouth from her and shifted her so he could pull his shirt over his head, he grasped hers and quickly yanked it from her, his eyes feasting on her naked breasts and then she was tugging on his jeans in almost a frantic fashion, he felt his pulse jump as her hand grabbed him through his jeans and then it was game on, he flipped her over on the couch so he hovered over her and then he yanked down his own jeans as she did the same to hers, both of them panting as they kicked out of their pants until flesh hit flesh and she moaned loudly against him..

"fuck me" she said breathlessly as his eyes burned with heavy desire and then he was snaking an arm under her as he crashed his lips against hers in a brutal kiss as she wrapped her legs around his waist causing his cock to push against her center, she rocked her body upward causing a delicious friction and then with a powerful thrust he filled her as her mouth broke free from his, shouting into her apartment at the extreme contact.

His mouth went to her neck as he licked and kissed her sensitive flesh, she moved her hips up to meet his, meeting him thrust for thrust as he groaned against her flesh...

"ah god, so good" she cried out as she dug her heels into his ass and pushed him deeper as he growled..

"uh fuck Natalie" he said with a hoarse grunt as her body threatened to swallow him whole..

"harder...faster" she panted against his ear and it was turning out to be his undoing as he did as she wished, her body began to shake almost violently against him, her walls contracting violently around him..

"uh fuck... uh shit" he grunted as he felt her cum against him, forcing him to her will, god she felt so good, too good..."Oh fuck im gonna cum...im gonna fucking cum" he called out and then he was yanking himself free of her as his hand went to his cock, stroking it hard as he threw his head back and she watched as he sprayed all over her chest, her chin, even some in her hair, it was the most erotic sight she had ever seen.."fuck" he said as he collasped on her, breathing irratically as she laid there holding him close as she too tried to control her breathing..

They laid quietly like that for a few minutes, she had so many questions that needed to be answered and she contemplated asking him but it was so damn early, she didnt want to start this early, instead she said.."were a mess"

John picked his head up and looked at her.."a very sticky one" he smiled softly.."How about a shower"

"together?" she said with a raised eyebrow..

"i wouldnt want it any other way" he grinned as he got up and then put his hand out for her to take, she accepted it and stood as she looked at his body and then hers.."I like being dirty with you" he smirked and then lead her to the bathroom..

Standing under the warm water her eyes closed as his hands went into her hair, massaging the shampoo into her scalp, she tried to just enjoy this moment and not to think about last night but that was getting increasingly hard to do considering they would have to talk about it eventually and she wanted answers, she needed them before she got in any deeper..

The feeling of his hands slipping down her back, gldiing against her skin made her lose her train of through for a moment as he stood behind her.."Your skin is so soft, its perfect" he whispered and she closed her eyes as he poured liquid soap into his hands and then glided his hands over her back once more, trailing slowly down to her ass as she widened her stance some more as a low groan left his throat as his hands traveled lower down her legs, she couldnt help the moan that left her mouth, why couldnt they just stay in this happy little place, she liked it here..

He slid up her legs now as her body tingled, his hands moving to the front of her legs as he placed soft kisses on the cheeks of her ass, his stubble ticking her already sensitive body, his hands moved up further and reached her thighs and then finally hitting the spot she wanted him to touch, he pressed his chest into her back as his fingers teased the soft flesh between her legs...

"so wet, so mine" he whispered in her ear and she was a goner, she couldnt focus on anything but the here and now as his finger slipped inside of her painfully slow.."My favorite place to be" he groaned against her ear as he nipped it and she let her head drop back against him as she sunk her body into his chest..."do you want to cum Natalie" he whispered as his finger began to move a bit faster in and out of her, she moaned in response.."I cant hear you, do you want to cum" he asked again..

"yes...please" she said without thinking..And then he slid a second finger inside her as she gasped..

"i want to feel you cum on my fingers Natalie, i want to taste you" he licked against her ear.."can you cum for me sweetheart, can you give me what i need" his fingers moved faster and her breathing became labored..."thats it...cum for me, cum on me" he groaned as his other hand wrapped around her stomach, pressing against it as he held her in place and the feeling was unbelievable, her legs began to feel like jelly as she stood there, his hand pushed lower as he began to rub against her very senstive bud and she cried out as it ripped through her body but he didnt let up as she came, he kept going.."More...i want more.." he groaned as he fucked her harder with his fingers..."keep cumming for me" he growled as she panted breathlessly...

"oh god John...i cant...i cant" she cried out as her body shook and convulsed as she came continuously against his fingers..

"yes you can sweetheart, such a good girl...so good...so fucking good" he pinched against her bud as she threw her head back shouting incoherenly as she came again and somehow they managed to end up on the shower floor, she didnt know when but she was laying up against him as the water poured down, her body still shaking as he held her close..

They got out of the shower once the water ran cold, he had wrapped her in a towel as he kissed her head.."we need to eat" he said as he pulled back and looked at her..

"i think i have some eggs" she said softly and he smiled..

"I can work with that" he grinned as he wrapped a towel around his waist and then headed out of her bedroom as she stood there, how the hell was she going to have this talk with him, she would wait till after breakfast, then they would talk, she still didnt want to leave their happy place..

**Bittersweet lyrics**

(Valo)  
I'm giving up the ghost of love  
In the shadows cast on devotion

(Ylonen)  
She is the one that I adore  
Queen of my silent suffocation

(Together)  
Break this bittersweet spell on me  
Lost in the arms of destiny

(Valo)  
Bittersweet

(Ylonen)  
I won't give up  
I'm possessed by her

(Valo)  
I'm bearing her cross  
She's turned into my curse

(Together)  
Break this bittersweet spell on me  
Lost in the arms of destiny

(Ylonen)  
Bittersweet  
I want you

(Valo)  
Oh I wanted you

(Ylonen)  
And I need you

(Valo)  
How I needed you

(Together)  
Break this bittersweet spell on me  
Lost in the arms of destiny  
Break this bittersweet spell on me  
Lost in the arms of destiny

Bittersweet...  



	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Seven

Natalie picked at her plate of eggs as John ate, she was trying to figure out how to talk to him about this, it seemed as though he was just going to ignore what happened yesterday and she was so not cool with that..

"something wrong with you food?" he asked as she looked at her plate and fork, how could she eat anything when she still had so many concerns.."whats wrong" he put his fork down now as he looked at her..

"what happened last night" she finally blurted out and he looked away uncomfortably, he knew she would eventually want to talk about this and he didnt want to, it was much easier just to ignore the fact that his life was going to shit right before his eyes..

"i got drunk, it was stupid and i apologize" he began as she stared at him..

"thats not what i meant, why did you get drunk, what happened with her" she swallowed hard, even though she was desperate for answers, she was also scared to death to hear the answer, part of her wanted to just wear a veil of ignorance, it would make all of this so much easier..

"you should really eat Natalie" he said as he picked up his fork and began to eat again..

"You cant avoid this John, you took off and left because of another woman" she said as her voice raised some, he looked at her now..

"you know it wasnt like that natalie, you said you understood" his tone was beginning to get angry now..

"and i did ok, but what happened, why go out and get trashed, you left me in your apartment for hours, you didnt even call and then you show up here piss ass drunk" she said with annoyance..

"she tried to kill herself Natalie, pardon me for being a little upset" he snapped as he shoved his plate away now and stood abruptly..Images replaying in his head of the conversation he had with Evangeline..

_"How can you be sure its mine" he asked with a shake of his head, he literally felt like he would hyperventilate.._

"Oh so now im just a whore who screws around" she said with a cracking voice..

"I didnt say that Evangeline, but we both know you havent been celibate either" he began as she shook her head in disbelief..

"I dont just offer myself to anyone John, i may of fucked around but i was always careful, you of all people know that" she snapped with anger in her voice.."do you think i wanted this"

He looked at the fear in her eyes knowing that with her career, not too mention the strictness of her family it would be very much frowned upon for her to be in this situation. She was an independent and responsible woman for the most part, she had a thriving career ahead of her, no he knew she wouldnt of planned this..

"what do you want me to say Evangeline" he said softer this time..

"something... I want you to look at me like i didnt plan this as some sort of revenge towards you" she snapped..

"considering the circumstances" he began..

"god were you always such an insensitive bastard! I tried killing myself to get rid of it John!" she yelled as she began to cry and his eyes got wide as he looked at her.."I dont want this, it will kill my career, my life, my father will disown me!" she yelled with tears and he walked closer to her now, feeling horrible for her when she was so vulnerable..

"Evangeline I" he said low as she looked at him with tears streaking down her face..

"Just tell me what i am suppose to do" she cried..

"i dont know" he said honestly as he looked at her..

"I wasnt trying to come off as some heartless bitch John, its just i dont even know what you two mean to each other" natalie said as she snapped him from his thoughts and he looked at her..He wanted to tell her, he did but he just couldnt..

"Im not in a relationship with her if that is what you mean" he said low..

"but you were at one point, right" she hated how jealous she sounded...

"I dont want to do this Natalie" he said in a huff as he turned from her.."whats in the past is in the past" he said as he walked from her even though he knew the past had an odd way of creeping up on you when you least expect it, in this case it was in the shape of a soon to be child..

"You keep on saying stuff like that as if that is a good enough answer, i know nothing about your past" she snapped as he turned at looked at her now, he looked so pissed, it actually took her off guard for a moment..

"Cause my past is none of your concern, i dont know how many times i need to tell you that!" he snapped..It felt like a knife through the heart as she looked at him, she was utterly speechless for a moment.."natalie" he said lower now, seeing that he cut her deep, that was the last thing he wanted to do but if she knew she wouldnt understand and she would leave him for sure and he couldnt risk that, he couldnt risk losing her.."i only care about the future ok, our future cause that is what i want" he said as he neared her..

"how am i suppose to be ok with that" she said in a whisper as he touched her face now..

"i need you to be ok with that, i cant lose you natalie" he said with heavy emotion in his voice..

"But yet you cant talk to me" she said with confusion, she felt her tears welling behind her eyes, she tried to push them away, she wouldnt cry, she couldnt do that..

"im talking to you now ok, im trying" he said softly now..

"do you care about her" she asked against better judgement, she knew this left her way too vulnerable and open, but she had to know..

"what?" he looked at her shocked and then pulled her against.."not its not like that" he held her and for a second she felt her body relax as she held onto him.."i thought that i was being clear on how i feel" he said as she moved her head from his chest..

"how do you feel" she asked just above a whisper as he looked at her, so much emotion on his face and then his lips were touching her softly as he kissed her, his hand caressing her face, she had her answer for now, it may not be much but atleast it soothed her aching heart for the moment..

A knock on the door startled them both as he looked at her.."are you expecting someone" he asked and she shook her head a bit breathless and then her eyes got wide..

"Oh god my dad" she said with fear in her voice, it had been days since she had spoken to him, she was sure that the word around the office had gotten back to him but she had been so wrapped up with John that she barely paid any attention..

"Your parents just show up unannounced?" he looked annoyed..

"they are kind of protective" she said with a nervous smile as knocking was heard again..

"nat i know your there, i saw your car" her brother rex called out and her eyes got wide again..

"Rex?" she said with shock, the last time she had talked to him he was still recovering at their parents place, John moved out of her way now as she went to the door, nervous and excited to see him, she swung open the door and was met with his bright blue eyes, her eyes got wide as she took in the sight of him dressed in a suit and tie.."Rex?" she said again as she looked at him..

"You like?" he grinned big and she quickly wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight, for a second she forgot John was behind her.."Oh i didnt know you had company" he said and she pulled back now, blushing as she looked at John then at him..

John outstretched his hand to the kid.."glad to see your feeling better Rex"

"still a little sore but overall doing pretty good" Rex said with a cheesy grin as they shook hands, Natalie stood nervously as she looked at them, she knew Rex had a million and one questions for her..

"well i dont want to keep you guys from catching up" John began as he looked at Rex then at her.."I have somethings i need to take care of today, can we meet up later" he smiled at her as his hand rested on her arm..

"yeah, sure" she said suddenly feeling embarassed with Rex grinning from ear to ear..He leaned up and kissed her forehead and she blushed..

"Nice seeing you again Rex" he finished as he walked to the door as natalie and Rex watched him and then he was gone..

"I cant believe your up and about Rex, do you want a drink, maybe some eggs" she said quickly, hoping to divert his attention from the obvious, but this was Rex she was talking about here..

"Im good, so...is this thing official between you two" he asked suspiciously and she laughed nervously as she walked to the kitchen..

"so why the suit" she said as she began to clean up the kitchen..

"why are you avoiding my questions" Rex smirked..

"Im not avoiding anything" she said nervously..

"the suit is part of my new job" he said and she looked at him shocked.."your turn, whats going on with you and McBain" he eyed her suspiciously..

"new job? Where, how? Oh nevermind,...congrats" she said as she turned and hugged him again, this time he winced some..

"ugh not so hard, im still recovering here Sis" he said with a laugh..

"im sorry, im just so happy for you" she said honestly, maybe this whole gunshot thing became life affirming for him, a step in the right direction..

"i can see that, damn its just a suit" he said with embarassment and then he grinned.."it's pretty freaking sweet though, huh" he admired himself...

"Uh yeah, so sit, i want to hear all the details, im sure mom and dad are going to be thrilled" she said as she sat down and gestured for him to do the same..

"well actually they should be considering your looking at the new head of security for Buchanan Enterprise" his words completely and totally shocked her as she looked at him..

"what?" she said with a shake of her head..

"i even got my own office and a receptionist, who by the way is hotter then hot" he grinned big..

"wait a second your working for Buchanan Enterprise?" she said again with disbelief, she knew that her parents were worried about him after the gunshot but worried so much to offer him a job, this was truly shocking..

"i know i was a bit freaked out to when the old man offered me the job but hell i get a company car, the perks are out of this world" he said with bright eyes..

"wow" she said again, she didnt know what else to say..

"Ok you dont need to seem that shocked" he said with annoyance in his voice now.."your the one who kept saying I needed to get a real reputible job"

"i know im just shocked thats all, you and dad never really got along" she said honestly..

"yeah well apparently my near death lightened him up some" he shrugged his shoulders and then leaned over to her.."get this we even played golf the other day, like together" her eyes got wide, now that was shocking.."I know i was like holy crap, i thought he was gonna try and finish the job" he laughed some now..

"rex i said you two didnt get along well,.. not that he wanted you dead" she said seriously..

"Lighten up Nat it was a joke" he said with shake of his head.."so are you gonna keep me in suspense or what?" he smirked, she looked at him confused for a moment, she was still trying to digest everything he had just told her.."you and McBain" she began to flush at his name as she quickly looked away.."oh no you dont, i spilled,.. now its your turn"

"there's nothing to tell ok" she said as she got up now and so did he..

"Bullshit, its 8 am on a Saturday and he was here, so either he came over really damn early or he didnt leave last night" he eye balled her as she nervously put dishes in the sink.."You know Nat you are an adult, its not illegal to like someone" he said and she looked at him now..

"yeah well according to our father he wants me to have nothing to do with John" she said honestly..

Rex rolled his eyes.."Oh come on nat, the old man is just stubborn and well now he has me to keep him on his toes" he grinned wickedly and Natalie smiled some.."You like him and you have finally found someone to make you happy, hell im jealous"

"I am happy" she said with a soft smile..

"Uh yeah i can see that and by the looks of him he is pretty darn happy too" he grinned as he walked over to her..

"You think so?" she asked as her insecurities got the best of her..

"Nat look at me, i know so" he touched her arm.."the guy is totally nuts about you" his words made her smile, was it that obvious, was John really nuts about her, the thought brought a huge smile to her face..

John felt foolish as he stood at the door and knocked, images from the night before running through his head, he glanced down at his knuckles, they looked better now, the door opened and he glanced up..

"if your looking to fight its too early, i need some coffee in me first" Steele said as he opened the door more and ran his hand through his untamed hair..

"coffee sounds good" John said as Steele stepped aside and John walked in to the apartment..

"theres a fresh pot in the kitchen, i'll be right back" Steele said as he strutted back down the hall and john followed his nose to the kitchen where the pot of heaven sat, he grabbed a cup and then poured some in it, he heard a female voice and he glanced over his cup to see a short brunette standing in front of Steele, her hair was cut into a pixie do and she was pretty damn cute, half the size of Steele though as John watched him kiss her on the cheek as they said their goodbyes. Steele watched her as she left..

"looks like you have been busy all night, whose the new girl" John said as he leaned against the wall and sipped the coffee, Steele turned and faced him and for a second he looked caught off guard, he had the biggest shit eating grin on his face and John noticed it.."is that a smile i see?" John smirked at him..

"shut the hell up John" Steele said as he walked past him, he still had a grin on his face..

"something serious? I havent seen her around the club" John said with peaked interest, he wasnt use to seeing anyone at Steele's place, he never brought girls home and this one had apparently spent the night, that was huge..

"Yeah well you wouldnt of noticed her there cause I never brought her" Steele said dryly as Johns eyes got wide..

"Really? Why is that" John began as Steele looked at him..

He rolled his eyes.."your way too fucking perky this morning, whats up with that"

"im perky? Speak for yourself" John said with a sarcastic smile..

"her name is Gigi and yes she is vanilla" Steele said as he grabbed his cup of coffee and moved into the livingroom as john followed, he was shocked to say the least.

"Really now? Werent you the one telling me not to deny your desires" John smirked at him..

"I desire her so my needs are met, and your one to talk John or have you sent Natalie away screaming already" Steele said dryly..

"thats a low blow man" John said as his face hardened..

"Yeah that was probably too much too soon, right" Steele said as he sipped his drink.."what did she say about Evangeline and your prospective fatherhood" John stiffened as he heard the words, he had been trying not to think about it all morning.."let me guess you forgot to tell her" Steele rolled his eyes..

"you know you really can be an ass sometimes" John snapped as he sat down now and sighed..

"Your gonna have to tell her bro, she will find out and its better coming from you then from Evangeline" Steele said as John looked at him as if he hadnt thought of that..

"she wouldnt tell her" he began but he honestly didnt believe that as he began to think more about it..

"i dont know when your finally going to see her for the kniving manipulative bitch she is" Steele said dryly..

"you dont know her like i do, she isnt a bad person" John began as Steele rolled his eyes..

"Jesus john cut the cord already, so she helped to shape you into what you are today, blah blah fucking blah, she's a fucking untrustworthy bitch, end of story" he said dryly..

"i dont want to talk about her" John stiffened some..

"good lets talk about natalie and how she is going to flip out once she finds out that Evangeline is carrying your squirt" Steele said sarcastically.."No pun intended" he smirked as he sipped his coffee..

"this has nothing to do with Natalie ok, so drop it" John snapped..

"Like hell it doesnt, your with her right?" Steele gave it right back to him..

"i dont know whats going on" John said as he ran a hand through his hair..

"enter commitment phobic McBain" Steele rolled his eyes..

"Im not commitment phobic ok, i just...i dont...i dont know what the fuck im saying" John said honestly..

"You like her and oddly enough she likes your brooding ass, go figure" Steele shrugged his shoulders and smirked..

"she's a good person you know...too good for me and my fucked up ways" John said as he stared at his coffee cup...

"and now lets enter self loathing, im not good enough McBain,...god man dont you ever get tired of this shit cause i get tired of hearing it" Steele said with a shake of his head.."Ive known you almost my whole life bro and you have yet to settle with anyone and as soon as you get close to someone you do this, its kind of pathetic"

"Oh please when was the last relationship you had Steele, i dont see you rushing off to get married" John said dryly..

"shit man i wasnt talking about marriage but i see where your head is now, so do you love her" Steele said with a raised eyebrow..

"Love her, i barely fucking know her, seriously Steele have you been watching daytime dramas again" he said sarcastically..

"hey there aint nothing wrong with a little love in the afternoon, well until those fuckers canceled my show, by the way i got a restraining order a few weeks ago from that fucker Ron Carlivati, apparently death threats are taken seriously" Steele shrugged his shoulders..

"man your in too deep with that shit and im the crazy one" John said sarcastically..

"hey i was a huge fan of the show, pardon me for being a little pissed when it was cancelled" Steele said with a shake of his head.."But stop trying to divert my attention here, do you love her or not"

"I dont really know what that is suppose to feel like" John said honestly...

"You really are more fucked up then i had orginally thought, maybe its time to start seeing Dr. Crosby again" Steele said as John stood now, completely frustrated..

"I dont need to see a damn therapist Steele" he snapped..

"really cause you sure as hell could of fooled me John" Steele stood now.."How come you didnt go see your mom when you were in AC" he blurted out as Johns eyes got wide..

"Oh this is fucking perfect, now you too? what have you been talking to Mikey, Huh!" he yelled angrily..

"Listen John i get how you feel about her ok, i get it man but she is dying" he said low as John looked at him..

"you know what i shouldnt of come here" he put his coffee cup down..

"she was a shitty mom ok, i get it but damn it john she lost your father too" Steele yelled and John spun and looked at him now..

"dont bring him up, dont do it" John said as he pointed his finger, his voice holding a threat..

"Your never gonna move forward John if you hold onto your past" Steele said lower now..

"thanks for the coffee" John spun for the door and quickly left as Steele stood there and sighed as he ran his hand through his hair..

Natalie sat on her couch as her apartment fell quiet again, Rex had left after she had spilled the beans about her John, he had given her some comfort in the fact that he was sure that John was feeling what she was but even now as she sat she was unsure with what exactlly she was feeling..

Granted they had incredible sex, better then incredible, fantastic sex. Their communcation was lacking for a better word but when they did speak it was always so passionate, so heartfelt.

Natalie couldnt remember a time in her life when she was in love. She never really had time for love and when she did she kept a wall up, she had to, she had seen too much bad in the world to know that love was an illusion.. She had watched her mother Roxy get beat repeatedly by men she loved and ones who supposedly loved her back. She had watched her mom lose herself in men to the point of her neglecting her own children.. Love wasnt the kind they showed in movies, no love was way darker then that, it meant enstilling all your trust and faith in one person and that was too risky to do even for Natalie but with John, well with him she felt something she had never felt before and it stirred in her, could this be it, could this be love?

How could she possibly love someone she knew nothing about, he wouldnt talk to her about his past, he got defensive and angry anytime she poked around the subject, how could she possibly love someone who had so many secrets, he had a dungeon for gawd sake, not to mention the amount of women he had probably been with over the years, the idea made her feel sick to her stomach..

Would she ever be able to relax in front of him, would he eventually expect her to be like the other woman he had been with, would he just stop the lifestyle cold turkey or would he eventually tire of her and find someone who better suited his dark needs? She was getting in deeper and deeper by the second, and then there was the bitch, the one he ran off to be with the other night, would that become a normal occurance, was there others like her out there, her mind filled with so many images that her head began to pound..

Then she heard a pounding on the door and it stirred her from her thoughts as she jumped up..

"Natalie...NATALIE!" she heard John yell, there was an urgency in his voice, it freaked her out, she quickly opened the door and saw him standing there, his eyes wide with something and then he was grabbing her as he pushed her inside the apartment, spinning her around until her back hit the wall as he kissed her passionately, seemingly knocking all the wind out of her small frame as his tongue claimed her mouth..


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty Eight

Her back slammed into the back of the door as his kiss took her off guard, his mouth was attacking hers in almost a bruising fashion as her mind went blank, all she could do was feel at that moment.. His hands moved across her body urgently and he lifted her leg up high against his strong hip as he cupped her ass, squeezing it hard..

His other hand was in her hair as he held the long strands tight in his fingers..Part of her wanted to ask what had gotten into him, why the sudden urgency to have her but his hands on her body made her mind go blank as only desire filled her..

Within seconds he had her lifted as he moved them quickly to the couch, he brought her down on his lap as he sat back, his mouth never leaving hers as his hands came to her shirt and quickly he yanked it up, breaking the contact with her mouth now as he quickly tossed her tshirt and frantically began working on her bra as she tried to control her panting..

She went to speak but his mouth came down on her now naked breast, sucking against her nipple she cried out in pleasure..She could feel how hard he was against her clothed center and she couldnt help but rock herself against him, enciting a low groan from him and then he was lifting her up and yanking her pants down, along with her panties as she gasped at the power he exhumed..

His eyes looked dark, raw, it was actually pretty frightening, what the hell had happened? He quickly undid his belt and shoved his own pants down, he didnt even remove them as he sat back down and pulled her on him..

"John...wait" she said a bit breathless..

"I need you" he rasped as he kissed her again and he moved her over his rock hard erection, he pierced into her body as she pulled her mouth from him and cried out at the invasion that threatened to split her in half.."ahhh!" he growled deep as she sheathed him tightly.

She could barely see as stars filled her eyes, his hands went to her jaw as he kissed her passionately as she ground herself against him, moaning and panting against his mouth, she had never seen him so viril before, he was acting like an untamed beast and as much as she loved the feel of him controlling her body it took her by surprise..

His hands went to her hips as he slammed her against him hard and she gasped loudly as he sank deep inside her, he was grunting and panting as he kissed her relenetlessly, she was losing her control as she finally threw her head back and allowed her orgasm to rock through her..

"fuck thats it Natalie, cum on me" he shouted as she rode the wave of her orgasm, dragging him along with her..."ah shit im gonna cum" he grabbed her hips and went to move her..

She didnt want him to leave her, she wanted to keep cumming, she grabbed his shoulders and pushed down on him as he groaned.."dont stop...ah god dont stop" she cried out passionately..

"Natalie" his words came out hoarsely as he tried to pull her up again.."Im gonna cum" the words sounded painful as he spoke..

"then cum, i want to feel you" she gasped as she pushed herself back down, she wanted to be close to him, she needed to be close to him, she wanted this, she wanted him..

"Natalie" he grunted again and she stayed on top of him.."Natalie STOP" he yelled and then he tossed her next to him on the couch in a surprising move as she gasped, he was standing now and panting heavily.."what the hell was that" he looked pissed as he looked at her, cum now stained his jeans and his shirt as he stood there..

"I just wanted" she said quietly as she looked at him..

"Jesus Natalie" he huffed as he ran his hands through his hair and then marched off to the bathroom, slamming the door as she jumped slightly on the couch, damn what the hell was that about!

To say the atmosphere got thick and awkward would be an understatement as she quickly got dressed, suddenly feeling angry as she shoved on her pants. He hadnt even gotten undressed, he literally bardged in and fucked her and then had the nerve to yell at her, what the hell was his problem..

She heard the bathroom door open and she glanced in his direction as he walked over, she was about to give him a piece of her mind but he spoke first.."dont ever do that again" his words were cold and clipped, she blinked some in shock as she looked at him..

"what the hell is your problem " she finally snapped angrily..

"My problem? What the hell were you trying to pull back there, i didnt have a condom on" he snapped..

For a second she thought about what he said, ok so maybe it was a bit reckless to let him cum inside her but it would of been once, honestly what were the chances that she would of gotten pregnant, is that why he was so worried?

"the chances are slim" she said even though she knew it was a weak answer..

"it only takes one time to fuck up Natalie" his words suddenly hurt, not that she wanted to have a child at the present time but knowing how he felt about it, well it irked her...

"fine i dont want to fight with you" she said with a defeated sigh..

He moved across the room, he wanted to somehow relax and he was sure that being with her would do the trick but it didnt, he felt like shit, she was going to hate him, hell he hated himself right now..

"How did it go with Rex" he said with an uptight voice, she ignored it, she could tell something was eating at him and she had a nagging feeling if she pressed the subject he would only close her off some more..

"He's fine, my dad hired him as head of security at BE" she said as she tried to keep normal conversation going..

"Really?" John said dryly..."Your father is just full of surprises" he didnt hide the bitterness in his voice, he moved into the kitchen and she sighed as she followed him..

"I know you dont like my father but he isnt a bad guy" she said honestly..

"yeah well we think very differently on that subject" he looked into her bare fridge.."we need to eat" he said with a huff as he closed her fridge..

"whats wrong John, you seem upset" she said softly this time as he looked at her..

"Your father is a manipulating asshole, i hope Rex is watching his back" he said angrily.."Im hungry" he continued with irritation as he ran his hand through his hair..

"where did you go before" she finally asked as he looked at her..

"what?" he looked at her with shock..

"where did you go cause apparently where ever you went put you in a bad mood" she said with a sigh..

"i was fine until you brought up your father" he said quickly and she rolled her eyes..

"no you werent" she put her hands on her hips.." what was that back there, i mean you came in all crazy like and...and.." her voice trailed as his eyes got darker and he stalked over to her..

"and i what?... i fucked you" his voice was so damn raw, so sexual, she swallowed hard, he was trying to stir her.."are you trying to say that you didnt enjoy that" he raised an eyebrow as he touched her face..

"no im not saying that" her voice came out as a whisper..

"so then why are you complaining huh" he ran his knuckles over her cheek and she sucked in a deep breath, damn him for making her turn into a sex crazed freak, she wanted to talk to him damn it!

"i wasnt complaining" she began as he stepped closer, her breasts brushing against his strong chest.."you just seemed upset" she said low..

"I wanted to fuck you earlier when your brother came and interupted us" his voice was low and full with desire again, god he would be the death of her.."actually i want to fuck you again" her eyes got wide as he looked at her..

"i thought you said you were hungry" she whispered and he picked her up quick and placed her on the kitchen table with a thud as she gasped..He pushed her legs apart roughly, his eyes darkening by the second.."i...I..." she began as he leaned his mouth to hers but his cell phone began ringing and he groaned deep as he grabbed it out of his pocket..

"what" he snapped into it as she sat there damn near breathless..He stepped back from her and turned around.."Now?... im busy" he sounded annoyed, she wanted to know who he was talking to.."fine...i said fine ok, im coming" he huffed as he hung up and ran his hand through his hair..

"everything ok?" she said in a low voice..

"I have to go" he said with an exhausted breath and then he looked at her, something was definitely up, he looked pissed..

"so your just going to leave again, like right now" she said with shock..

He walked back over to her..."i'll make it up to you later" he touched her face and she huffed.."I promise, i just...i just got to take care of something at the club, i'll come back later and we will get dinner"

"Fine" she sighed and he leaned in, placing a soft kiss on her lips and then he was leaving again, god she was annoyed, completely and totally annoyed..

John made his way across town, his nerves were shot not to mention he was being riddled with guilt over Natalie, but he was gonna fix this, he would, somehow. He pulled in front of his club and he sighed as he saw her car parked outside, he quickly got out of his car and headed inside..

Evangeline was standing by some of the police tape that was still on the floor, she turned slowly as he walked in, he stiffened some.."so what did you decide" he just spit it out and she sighed with frustration..

"Im glad this is so easy for you to just throw it all on me" she said dryly..

"you know thats not what i am doing, you said you would figure out what you wanted to do and i was going to support that decision" he said as he walked past her and to the bar, he needed a drink..

"does she know" her voice made him stop as he reached the bar..

"this is between me and you evangeline" he said as he began to pour a drink..

"you know i dont think she is right for you" she said as she walked over and he sighed..

"I dont want to do this right now" he said with frustration as he took a sip of the brandy..

"i only say it cause i worry about you john, i know you probably better then you know yourself" she said low and he didnt say anything.."and thats why i came to this decision" she swallowed hard.."neither of us are ready for a child and its not like we would have the happily ever after" she said as she walked from him now..

God he felt like shit, granted he didnt want a child, hell he never wanted children, he never wanted to put him through what he had been through as a child, the world was too dark for children but hearing her say she was going to get rid of it, it bothered him but he still couldnt speak as she paced..

"I already talked to a doctor outside of Lanview, i should be back on my feet in a few days" she kept her back turned to him..

"what do you need me to do Evangeline" he managed to say and she turned to face him now..Tears apparent in her eyes..

"I dont need your money" she said with tears..

"Evangeline i didnt mean it like that" he said low as he looked at her, he couldnt get his legs to move..

"of course you didnt" she said bitterly as she wiped her face with the back of her hand and she stood taller..

"Your acting like im making you do this" he finally said with a heavy breath..

"Im 32 years old John, im not married, i dont have the house with the white picket fence, i should want this" she said with emotion as she looked at him..

"evangeline please dont cry" he said as he finally moved now from behind the bar, she had her face covered as she cried..

"I just feel like something is wrong with me, the fact that i just want this out of me, im not suppose to feel like this" she looked at him now as she stood a few feet away.."women are suppose to feel maternal, i dont" she shook her head..

"do you want to keep it" he barely got the words out, he honestly didnt know what to feel right now, but feeling like shit was right at the top..

"god your not even listening to me, No john, no i dont want it" she yelled at him as she began to cry hysterically..He moved closer to her and did the only thing he could think of, he pulled her close and she stiffened for a moment and then fell into his arms as he held her..

"its gonna be fine evangeline, it will, you'll see" he said that even though he didnt believe a word of it, would anything ever be fine again?

Natalie flipped through as many television shows as she could stomach, god she was so annoyed, where was he? The idea hit her that maybe he was with her, that made her feel ill as she sat there on the couch, god she felt so stupid, so vulnerable. Knocking on her door made her jump, was he back already, she hated how anxious she was to see him even though he pissed her off more often then not, she swung open the door and her eyes got wide..

"Dad?" she said with shock as she looked into his dark blue eyes..

"why arent you dressed and ready" he said with annoyance and she finally took in the sight of him, he was in one of his best suits as he stood there..She looked at him confused and he stiffened some.."the police gala natalie, did you forget already?" he said with a huff..

"shit" she said under her breath, she had completely forgotten, with everything happening so fast with john she barely had time to think about anything..

"Oh thats just great" he said with disappointment..

"Im sorry i have been busy" she said honestly and his eyes narrowed some but he didnt say anything..."i dont even have anything to wear" she said as she looked at him...

"your presence is needed there natalie, you know how important this is for the family, find something to wear and be quick about it" he snapped angrily, she swallowed hard.."I will have Jones come by and get you in 30 minutes" he turned from her and she sighed..

"Dad" she finally said as he stepped into the hall, he stopped but didnt face her.."im really sorry" she said low..

"30 minutes" he said as he cleared his throat and then he was leaving as she stood there and then quickly she ran into her room, she had to find something to wear!

Natalie decided on a dress she wore to last years gala, it was a red stain dress and thankfully she still fit into it..She had never rushed so much in her life to get ready. But thankfully with all the rushing around she didnt have time to think about John and that was a good thing cause right now she didnt want to think about what he was up to, it only made her feel sick to her stomach..

She finally stood in front of the large full length mirror and looked at herself, like really looked at herself.. The dress itself was beautiful and classy, it had two long slits up on either sides of it, the back of it dipped down very low and the front held her clevage in a very revealing way, it brought a smile to her face as she thought about wearing it last year, the looks she had gotten and she hadnt even brought a date with her, that idea snapped her back to her thoughts, a date..John.. She looked at her clock, he hadnt called yet again, the sound of knocking on her front door snapped her from her thoughts, he didnt even know of the gala but she didnt have time now to worry about that, he was off doing god knows what with god knows who, the idea pissed her off as she grabbed her handbag and made a bee line for the door, she was going to enjoy herself whether she liked it or not.

John made his way back to natalie's place, he felt like he was losing control in every aspect of his life and the only thing that kept his grounded was her, he needed her more then he had ever needed anyone, he got to her door and knocked... He knocked again.."Natalie" he called through the door but nothing, no answer, he huffed as he grabbed his phone and dialed, maybe she was upset with him for leaving, hell he was upset with himself, her phone went straight to voicemail as he stood there.."damn it natalie where the hell are you" he huffed in frustration and then he went to the one other place he knew she would be, the station, he quickly took off to find her..

Natalie walked and mingled at the gala, it was set up at The Palace and as usual it was a beautiful arrangement but even as she forced a smile, she felt like crap..

"wow you look beautfiul i wsnt expecting to see you" she heard Cris's surprised voice behind her and she turned to face him, he was dressed in a suit..

"You dont look so bad yourself, you clean up well Officer" she smiled genuinely for the first time that night..

"Your um...your alone" he said with awkwardness as he looked around..

"yeah how about a drink" she said quickly, she really didnt want to discuss John with him or with anyone, it was bad enough that her father was giving her the cold shoulder and when he did speak to her it was purely for show and she knew that..

"Ok sounds like a plan" Cris said without an arguement and they headed off to the bar..

John made his way to the station, the place was damn near empty and he immediately made his way to her office, that too was empty..

"can i help you" he heard a females voice and he turned to greet a short brunette.."you shouldnt be back here, this is for police only" she said with a clipped tone..

"Im looking for Officer Buchanan, have you seen her" he asked and the woman eye balled him suspiciously.."any information you could give me would be greatly appreciated" he said again with a smile and then woman seemed to blush some..

"i really shouldnt do this" she said with a nervous smile..

"this is very important" he began as he looked at her name tag.."Stephanie is it? Thats a beautiful name for a beautiful woman" he charmed her as she began to nervously fidget as she laughed..

"thanks" she said as her face turned bright red..

"could you help me out Stephanie" he stepped closer to her and smiled, as she began to pant slightly..

"everyone is at the police gala, im sure she is there" her voice squeaked out..His eyes raised in surprise..

"the gala, huh?" he tried to bite back the anger that was rising in him, why wouldnt she of told him about this, why would she go without him, the idea irritated him..

"yeah its um at The Palace this year, do you want me to get you a drink or something, i have coffee" she said nervously..

"No thanks, i need to go" he walked past her in a hurry, it looked like he had a ball to attend..


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Nine

Natalie sat at the bar with a drink in her hand, Cris was rambling on and on about something but she couldnt quite concentrate on what he was saying cause as much as she hated to admit it she was still caught up on John and what he was doing..

"and so then i gave the guy a warning and the bastard took off running., i dont think i ever ran so fast in my life" Cris continued as he looked at her..

"sounds like it" she tried to seem interested but she honestly had no idea what he was talking about..

"there's my beautiful sister" Rex said from behind her and she jumped slightly, turning with a surprised look to see Rex standing there looking sharp in a black suit and tie..

"hey, your here?" she brought her attention to him now as he smiled big..

"I know this place is pretty sweet, dad asked me to go last minute, he said it was good for PR" he grinned..

Natalie couldnt help but roll her eyes, everything was about PR with her father.."well im glad you came"

"Natalie told me you got a job at BE Rex, congrats" Cris said with a smile..

Rex stood proudly and smiled.."yep i rock, i know"

"dont let the title get to your head Rex" Natalie said sarcastically..

"and why not, this job rocks" he smiled again and ordered himself a drink.."so where is your date" he asked as he looked around..

"Natalie went solo tonight" Cris blurted out and Natalie looked at him quick, god could he be any more obvious about how much he was liking this, it annoyed her..

"Oh" Rex said awkwardly..

"Its fine, i was planning on going alone anyways" she said quickly as she stood now, Cris stood too..

"well tonight doesnt have to be a complete bust, you wanna dance" Cris held his hand out to her..

"I never said tonight was a bust" she said defensively and the small space got quickly uncomfortable.."actually i need some fresh air" she said as she walked past both of them and Rex shrugged his shoulders at Cris as Natalie headed to the balcony, she needed to desperately clear her mind..

There was a light breeze out tonight and she inhaled deeply as she walked onto the balcony and stared out into the large courtyard that was lighted up with fancy lanterns.. The chill of the fall air hit her skin and she rubbed it with her arms as she stood there..

"Standing out here will get you sick" she heard his voice and for a second she thought she was dreaming or hallucinating but then she turned and met his dazzling blue eyes, her eyes got wide..

"John" she said in shock, he was dressed to the nines in a black suit, with a matching black shirt and a tie to match his dark blue eyes, his hair pulled back into a pony tail, maybe she was dreaming, he walked closer..

"should i be insulted that you didnt invite me" he said as he came in front of her, his eyes were darkening as he stood there and she could tell where this was going, she went to speak but before she could say anything his lips were on hers in a searing kiss as he wrapped his arms around her body, she quickly fell into the kiss, forgetting everything around her if only for a moment.. Slowly he pulled back with a hand on her face.."You look absolutely ravishing Natalie" his words made her blush some, she couldnt help the smile on her face..

"You were gone and my dad came" she began to say as he brushed a piece of her hair back, his face lightening some..

"you could of texted me" he said low as he looked at her...

"i um.. you were busy" she said quickly.."did you take care of everything you had to" she couldnt help the bitterness in her voice..

"Your mad? Dont be ok..." he said softly..

"Im just wondering if you are going to have to run off again" she said with a roll of her eyes..

"Natalie im not going anywhere ok" he touched her hand and rubbed her knuckles lightly.."all that matters is were here together, right now" his words surprised her, no fight? This was odd.."dont seem so surprised, i dont have to be an asshole all the time" he smiled now and so did she.."You need to smile more Natalie"

"You are full of surprises John" she said honestly as she looked at him, she hated that she couldnt stay mad at him especially when he was looking at her like that.."By the way you clean up very, very well" she said with a smile as she adjusted his tie..

"for you i do" he said with a seriousness to his voice that she felt all the way straight to her core, she swallowed hard..

"if you dont want to dance natalie its ok" Cris said as he walked onto the balcony and then stopped in his tracks as he looked at her and then John, John put his arm protectively around her..

"actually a dance sounds pretty good right about now" John said dryly towards Cris and then he looked at Natalie.."what do you say, would you like to dance with me?" he grinned and Natalie smiled nervously as she looked at him and then a very disappointed Cris..

"sure" she swallowed hard..

"thanks for keeping her company until i could show up" John said as he stared Cris down.."But it wont be needed anymore, come on Natalie" he took her by the hand as they walked past Cris, who just stared at them in shock..

"You know you didnt have to be mean to him" she began as they walked back inside..

"you thought that was mean?" he said a bit sarcastically..

"a little" she said honestly as she looked around nervously, everyone was staring at them as they headed to the dance floor, including her father who looked like he was absolutely gonna go postal, she quickly looked back at John..

"dont worry about what they think" he said as he pulled her close to him and began to sway.."I missed you"

"I missed you too" she said quietly as they moved slowly back and forth.."so you never answered my question, was everything ok at the club" she hated that she felt like he was leaving out huge chunks of information..

"Everything is fine, im all yours" he grinned as he held her closer and she sighed into him as they danced, for now she would pretend it was just them on that dance floor even though she knew half of the station was staring at them..

The song ended way too soon as he lead her off the dance floor and over towards the bar.."did you eat yet?" he began and she nodded her head no nervously..

"well we should definitely work on that then, lets grab a table" he said as he lead her across the floor and over to one of the many tables, just as they got there her father seemed to appear out of no where, blocking their view, her eyes got wide as she stood there and squeezed johns hand hard..

"I didnt know you were bringing a friend, Natalie" her father did his best to control his anger and she wanted to die..

"Its good to see you too Clint" John said with a tight smile as Clint looked at him and then ignored him as he stared at natalie..

"I have a few people i would like to introduce you to natalie" he continued coldly..

Natalie looked at him and then at John, thankfully john spoke first.."why dont i order some food while you get your introductions out of the way sweetheart" he said as he planted a kiss on her forehead and her eyes got wide, she literally thought she saw steam coming out of her fathers ears..

Clint turned from them.."Natalie" he said warningly...

"Ill just be a few" Natalie said to John, she hated how uncomfortable she felt..

"No worries, i'll get us some food" John bit his tongue, he wasnt about to let her father make him act a fool, he knew that was what Clint was going for, so he brushed it off, he would deal with the old man later..

Natalie quickly scurried off with her dad to mingle as John stood watching..

"Nope its not your imagination, he hates you man" Rex said behind him as John slowly turned to face him..

"dont worry the feeling is mutual" he grinned.."so i hear your workng for BE now"

"sure am, got the office and everything" Rex grinned proudly..

"How would you like to make a few extra bucks" John began as rex's eyes got wide.."of course it would have to be kept on the DL" John grinned..

"is this going to be illegal" Rex whispered as John looked at him.."Oh forget it, im totally in" he said with a bit cheesy smile..

Natalie walked with her father who seem to introduce her to every single available batchelor in the place, it was uncomfortable to say the least, her eyes kept darting to john who was now at the bar with Rex, they looked to be in deep conversation and she was glad he atleast had someone to talk to in this place, occassionally he would glance in her direction and wink at her as she smiled nervously..

"so your a police officer, very impressive" one of the eligible batchelors by the name of Hugh Hughes said, he was her fathers new attorney for BE, an attractive man in his late twenties, he had short brown hair, brown eyes and a very charming smile..

"Hugh graduated at the top of his class at Harvard" Clint boasted him and natalie had to control her eye rolling, she couldnt believe her father was doing this, he apparently under estimated John and his jealous tendencies..

Hugh flushed with embarassment as he looked at her.."I was in the top five" he grinned..

"impressive" Natalie forced a smile..

"you two should enjoy a dance" Clint said with a great big grin and natalies eyes got wide..

"Oh, i dont know" she said nervously as her father stared at her hard..

"actually i would love to" Hugh grinned as he put his hand out to her..

"dont be rude Natalie" Clint said with a fake smile..

"sure why not" Natalie said quickly, god she really hated her dad right now, she hated him for putting her in this situation, Hugh quickly grabbed her hand and lead her to the dance floor, she couldnt even look at John, she knew he would be pissed, she just hoped he wouldnt make a scene..

John watched from across the room as some guy took Natalie's hand, he jumped up from his bar stool as Rex put his hand on his arm..."its not worth it John, this is the kind of shit my father lives for, all he wants is a reason" he said seriously as John gritted his teeth..

"your father is a piece of shit" John said bluntly as he stared at Natalie who was dancing awkwardly with this douchebag, John wanted to run over and beat the guy to a pulp and then work on her father..

Rex shrugged his shoulders.."but he is stinking rich"

John looked at Rex now.."You will do what i asked right"

"sure, i wouldnt mind watching Clint be knocked down a few notches" rex said with a wicked grin.."do you really think he was involved with the fire at your place?" Rex asked as John stared at him..

"I would bet my life on it" John said as he brought his attention back to the dance floor as he watched Natalie..

Hugh rambled on and on about his life and future, he was very into himself, he was almost like a mini clint, she tried to seem interested as she danced uncomfortably wiht him..

"you really are quite beautiful Natalie" he smiled and she forced one..

"thanks" she swallowed hard.."i dont want to give you the wrong impression Hugh" she finally said as he looked at her..

"Your involved with someone" he said with a bit of disappointment..

"yeah i am" she swallowed hard..

"Kind of figured that much, is it serious?" he asked and she had to think for a second, she wasnt sure what it was her and John had.."im sorry that is none of my business" he said apologetically.."well if you ever find yourself not involved give me a call" he smiled as the song began to end and she watched as john began to make his way over..

"thanks for the dance" she said quickly and then began walking over to John, meeting him half way, he had a forced tight smile on his face.."Please dont say anything ok, that was completely uncomfortable as it was" she said as she got in front of him..

"your father is a piece of work" he said with a tight smile and she smiled nervously.."come on lets eat" he said a bit coldly as he took her hand and led her off the dance floor..

Natalie picked at the food on her plate, she was so uncomfortable that she had a hard time eating anything, she sipped on her wine though..John had barely said another word as he ate, he kept glaring at her father and at basically any man who looked at them..

"Please dont make a scene" she said quietly as he finally looked at her..

"what makes you think i will do that" he said a bit sarcastically..

"John im serious, that dance was nothing ok" she said quickly..

"Oh i know that" he said honestly.."still doesnt mean i dont want to show everyone in here who you are with, that you belong to me" he looked at her as his eyes darkened..

She swallowed hard.."ok Mr. Caveman" she said with nervous laugh..

"every man in here is undressing you with their eyes" he said as he gritted his teeth..

"and your not" she said quickly as he looked at her, his eyes burning into her..

"Im more then undressing you" his words came out in a seductive tone.."do you like the fact that every man in here wants to fuck you?"

"John" she said with shock as she turned red..

"what? Its true" he said with a smile but there was something dark behind it..

Natalie leaned across the table and whispered.."Your the only man i want"

His eyes darted to her overflowing cleavage and then slowly up to her eyes, he licked his lips seductively.."you keep looking at me like that and i may have to find a closet somewhere" his words held truth and she swallowed hard and leaned back in the chair.. The heat between them sky rocketed as she squirmed in her chair some.."something on your mind?" he raised an eyebrow..

"Nope" she said with a nervous smile, her heart was absolutely racing and then he stood up quick as she looked at him with wide eyes..

"lets go for a walk" he put his hand out to her but his eyes held a delicious promise, she stood slowly, nervously..

"But i didnt finish my food" she swallowed hard..

"forget your food" he grabbed her hand and quickly lead her towards the door, he was walking fast, she scurried along with him..

"john we cant just leave" she finally said..

"who said anything about leaving" he said as he walked her into the hall and quickly looked around, he then pulled her into a coat room and within seconds he had her back against the wall as he kissed her something fierce, she felt it all the way down to her toes.."your way too distracting in that dress" he said as his hand slid up her leg and made contact with his skin and she gasped..

"John" she said with a heavy panting breath as he kissed her neck, driving her absolutely crazy...

His hand slid faster up her flesh, landing between her legs.."this...is mine" he growled against her neck and before she could protest he was pushing her panties aside as he slid a thick finger into her and she gasped in shock..

"John i dont think you should" she began to gasp as he slipped a second finger inside of her and she bit her tongue to stop herself from moaning..

"You dont think i should what natalie?" he groaned in her ear as his fingers picked up the pace..."are you saying you dont want to cum" his words flowed through her, tingling down her spine..."Oh i think you want to cum, actually i am sure of it" he began moving his fingers faster as he spoke in her ear..Her pants got more irratic as he fucked her with his fingers.."thats it sweetheart, cum for me" he nipped at her ear lobe and it was her undoing as her body convulsed around his fingers and he continued pumping them in and out of her until her body fell against him as she breathed heavily.."God i want to fuck the shit out of you" he groaned and then kissed her urgently as he kept her pressed into the wall, the sound of people coming down the hall made him back up, he moved his fingers into his mouth and sucked on them as he smiled, she seriously was ready to leave now.."we should head back, we dont want to be rude now do we" he grinned as he grabbed her hand and hauled her out of the closet as a few people glanced at them, she kept her eyes to the ground, she was flushed and still somewhat panting and now they were heading back to the party, talk about awkward!

They made their way back to the party and John immediately took her back to the dance floor but all she wanted to do was sit back down, her legs were like jello still and she was sure she looked like she had just been fucked.

"it looks as though we have created quite the stir" he grinned proudly and she didnt dare look at anyone, she was sure her father had spontaniously combusted by now..

"You are so bad" she said with a red face..

"You have no idea" he grinned as they continued dancing..

By the time the night began to wind down and everyone was saying their goodbyes her father had come back over to them, her uncle bo right along with him, Natalie immediately stiffened, she was about to get it, she knew it..

"Your mother and I are leaving, i wanted to know if you needed a drive home" her father said as he ignored John who was standing directly next to natalie, he finally looked at him..They stared at each other for a second..

"I'll see you Monday at work" her uncle finally spoke breaking the tension, he leaned over and kissed her cheek before walking away..

"come by the house tomorrow natalie, we'll have lunch" her father finally said and then he smiled at John.."i would love it if you could come too" there was something in his words, the way he spoke, it immediately made Natalie stiffen..

"we will be there" John gave back a big smile and then her father was walking away as natalie stood there in a bit in shock..

"You know this isnt good" she finally said as John grabbed her hand..

"I dunno, maybe your father is warming up to me" he grinned sarcastically..

Natalie rolled her eyes and let out a small laugh.."fat chance"

"it sounded good anyways" he grinned.."come on lets get you home, its been one hell of a night"

"that it has" she said honestly and they left, she knew tomorrow was going to be like walking into the gates of hell but she tried not to think of it..

Natalie laid on Johns bare chest as she listened to his heart beat, she was spent and sated after another wild romp in the bed, his fingers danced across her back as neither of them said anything..

"Hows the club coming along" she finally asked to break the silence between them..

"its fine" his answer was short and sweet.."maybe one day when it gets fixed up i can give you the official tour" he smiled now and the idea of what he did to women in there made her stomach tighten with jealousy.."Im kidding Natalie" he said as he noticed the tension in her..

"do you miss it" she had to ask and now he lifted his head up some..

"Miss what" he asked and she lifted her head now as she leaned on her elbow..

"You know, that stuff" she said nervously...

"i like what were doing" he said honestly as he looked at her..

"but is that enough for you" she asked desperately needing to know his answer..

"Your enough for me" he said with a smile as he brushed some of her hair back from her eyes..

"Honestly john there has to be a part of you that misses that stuff, i mean you were the one that said it was a part of you, it was who you are" she began as he took a deep breath..

"there are aspects i miss i suppose" he began and her heart began to break this is what she had been worried about..

"But i would give it all up Natalie to be with you" he began..

"But you shouldnt have to change for someone" she said honestly..

"I would never want to push you into something you didnt want Natalie" he sat up now and so did she..

It was becoming awkward again.."maybe you wouldnt have to push me" she finally blurted out and he looked at her, a bit of surprise in his eyes..

"what are you trying to say Natalie" he shifted in the bed some more..

"Ok so maybe i did a little more research" she swallowed hard, she couldnt believe she was actually going to have this conversation with him..

He stopped as he looked at her, his eye brows raised.."really? And?"

"and i just" she shifted uncomfortably as she pulled the blanket on herself more, she felt so vulnerable right now as she looked at him.."I thought maybe all of it didnt sound so bad"

"You didnt have to do that Natalie, i know your not comfortable with it" he said honestly even though he was touched that she would research his lifestyle to make him happy..

"I wasnt, i mean im still not comfortable with it, somethings atleast, it was different when i first met you" she blushed some and he now moved on the bed, his interest peaked.."i never wanted to be demeaned and hurt physically" she began as he reached and touched her hand softly..

"natalie i could never hurt you, not the way your thinking" he said as his fingers rubbed her hand.."and i dont need that with you, so if your worried" he began..

She cut him off.."its who you are and who am i to make you stop being that person, tell me that you dont think about it when were together, that a part of you doesnt want to try" the lump in her throat got larger and larger..

"how could i not think about that when im with you? But you mean more to me then any sub ever did" he said honestly and she actually felt her heart melt a little at his words..

"But you had asked me to be your submissive" she said low..

"yeah well that was different, i like to think that things have changed for us, or maybe that is just me" he looked uncertain..

"I like to think that too" she smiled..

"then why are you bringing this up now" he asked with confusion..

"maybe im being insecure, or just...i dunno...curious" she wanted to hide her head now, the way he was looking at her, he looked completely and totally shocked at her words.."Im just being stupid" she shook her head and covered it with the blanket..

"dont hide from me" he pulled the blanket down and her face was bright red.."there is nothing to be ashamed about"

"yeah there is, i made such a big deal over all of this, just pretend i didnt say anything ok" she stood now, taking the blanket with her, he stood too and made his way over to her..

"I would like nothing more then to show you a part of my life Natalie" his words were raw and seductive.."the fact that you would trust me enough to show you" he glanced down at his very apparent erection.."well lets just say that i have no qualms about it" he grinned..

She blushed even harder.."I wouldnt want to do anything extreme, like im totally not into being suspended on the ceiling or even hog tied" she said with a nervous laugh..He laughed a bit too..

"well then that makes two of us" he closed in the distance between them..

"and im not into being electrocuted or even drownings" she said quickly and he laughed now, hard too..

"where exactlly did you get your research from, i may be kinky but im not a psycho" he laughed and she felt her cheeks get hot with embarassment as she shrugged her shoulders..

"so how do you like, you know get started...would i have to sign a contract or something" she said nervously..

"No Natalie you dont need to sign a contract, i think were able to verbalize what you want to try, see what limits you have" his hand slid down her neck and she couldnt help the gasp that left her throat.."Only if you want to, i wont push you"

"I'd like to try" she said low and then his mouth was collasping on her as he kissed her slowly, passionately and then he pulled back as she stood there breathless.."so when do we start"

"well first" he took her hand and moved it to his lips.."first we need to sleep and then we talk some more, im not just going to rush into this with you"

"Oh" she said with a bit of disappointment in her voice..

"we have plenty of time for all of that but right now, today, tonight i just want to be with you" he grinned as he kissed her hand again..

"I have no problems with that" she smiled big..

"Good" he grinned as he pulled her close again and placed a soft kiss on her lips.."now we sleep, i do believe i remember us having plans with your father tomorrow" he said with a roll of his eyes..

"Oh that" she said with a sigh, she had almost forgotten..

"dont worry, it'll be fine, come" he took her hand and lead her back to the bed..


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Standing outside of Lanfair with John at the door made Natalie feel like a child all over again. It was reminisent of when she first came to Lanview all those years ago, the nervousness, the anxiety, it all seemed the same right about now, the only difference was she was older and living on her own now. John squeezed her hand reassuringly, maybe today wouldnt be all bad, maybe her father was finally coming around? Even she didnt believe it..

The door opened to her mother who greeted them with a huge smile, atleast she was genuinely happy for natalie..

"Oh i am so glad you could make it natalie, its been too long" Vicki said as she hugged her tight and Natalie relished in the moment, it was times like these that made her feel like everything would be ok..Vicki pulled back and smiled at John.."its a pleasure again to see you John, please both of you come in"

Once inside they were immediately greeted by her father who surprisingly was smiling from ear to ear, he walked over to Natalie and hugged her tight, catching her off guard as she hugged him back wearily..

"Your mother is right, you dont visit very often" he said with a big grin as she looked at him a bit suspiciously, what was up with this turn around, this definitely wasnt like him, she suddenly felt like she had stepped into the twilight zone.."John" her father put his hand out to him and John looked at him equally suspicious as they shook hands, oh he was definitely up to something.."Good to see you again" He stepped back from them..."come we will all have drinks in the study" he said as him and Vicki began walking and natalie and John looked at one another..

"Its fine" John said reassuringly to her as they followed her parents..

They all made their way into the study as Clint began pouring drinks.."the police gala went very well last night, your uncle said they raised over a hundred grand for the new wing in the hospital" Clint said as he handed natalie a drink, it was obvious he was ignoring John but she didnt say anything, now definitely wasnt the time, especially not with her mother around..

"well it is going for a wonderful cause, do you do any charity work John" Vicki asked as John took a drink from Clint and sipped it..

"i do dabble in many things Mrs. Buchanan, im always ready to help the less fortunate" he said with a smile..

"thats so lovely to hear" she smiled big..

"John runs the domestic violence shelter downtown" Natalie blurted out as John looked at her surprised and well shocked..

"Oh that must be convenient for you" Clint said under his breath and natalie felt her heart race, but apparently her mother hadnt heard but by the way John was gripping her hand apparently he heard him loud and clear..

"actually i am a big advocate for womans rights" John said with a glare at Clint..

"i think thats wonderful, so many women are mistreated" Vicki interjected.."Has Natalie ever told you about her sister Jessica" she began with sadness in her voice..

"Mom we dont need to do this" Natalie said low, she knew it always upset her mom to talk about Jessica..

"Jessica was a fine young woman" Clint said as he stared at John..

"well then you were lucky to have three fine young woman in your life" John said quickly..

"oh isnt he just a doll" vicki said with a smile as she looked at Clint who could barely contain his rage..

"this is great wine, is it Pinot nor?" natalie said quickly to break the tension between John and her father..

"Oh good apparently you havent lost your taste for good wine" Clint said a bit dryly.."im sure its been awhile since you have been treated to something nice" Clint looked at John..

"actually we were at the palace not too long ago" natalie spit out quickly..

"Oh its our favorite place to go, i do hope you had the steak" Vicki said with a smile..

"well i am a carnivore" John grinned and then shot Clint a look..

"then you and Clint will get along fine" Vicki smiled big.."Im going to go check on the food" Vicki began.."could you help me Natalie" she smiled and Natalie knew this was it, this was her fathers plan to separate them, her pulse began to race...

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea" John said before she could protest and she looked at him with wide stunned eyes..She definitely didnt want to leave the two of them alone..

"I do hope you like turkey John" Vicki said with a smile..

"That sounds great Mrs. Buchanan" he smiled as Natalie stared at him..

"come on sweetheart" Vicki said and John smiled at Natalie again..

"we'll be right back" she said nervously as she left the room with her mother..

"Please John have a seat" Clint said as he handed him a drink.."its a great day, isnt it" he sipped his drink as John looked at him..

"You can cut the bullshit now, i know what your up to Clint" John said with a wicked smile as he brought the cup to his lips and sipped..

Natalie followed her mom hoping she wouldnt hear the sound of yelling in the other room but surprisingly it was quiet.."John is such a nice young man" her mother said oblivious to what was really going on. Vicki had always been like that, even when Natalie was younger, Clint was always very much a protector of Vicki and it only got worse after her heart attack a few years back, he always tried to keep everything as calm and pleasent as can be. When jessica passed they were all worried that Vicki would absolutely lose it but surprisingly she hung on very well..

"yes he is" Natalie said nervously, she wasnt use to talking to Vicki like this..

"i take it that things are serious between you two? I am very happy to see you finally settling down" Vicki said in that motherly tone that made Natalie soften a bit..

"its still fairly new mom but i do like him" she said with a smile..

"I think your father really likes him" Vicki smiled as she began grabbing plates, natalie forced a smile, she seriously seriously doubted that..

"Your a smart man John" Clint said with a tight smile.."I have a proposition for you"

"Im sure you do" John said with a tight smile..

"Your brother is doing very well with BE, i really think he has done alot of growing up" Vicki continued..

"well its about time" Natalie said with a roll of her eyes as her mother smiled and they continued to get lunch ready..

"so just name your price" Clint said as he held a pen to his check book..

John looked at the man and shook his head in disbelief.."You know i knew that you were a manipulating son of a bitch but even this surprises me" John said dryly as Clint's eyes got wide..

"Do you have any idea who I am, you will not talk to me in such a way" He said in a loud aggitated voice..

"do you have any idea who i am" John answered, equally as pissed..

"Im giving you an out, i advise you take it John, dont be stupid" Clint said through gritted teeth..

"how about this" John said as he walked closer to Clint.."you take your check book and shove it up your ass" he snapped at the man who stared at him for a second in shock.."were done here" John spun from him..

"do you have any idea what i could do to you" Clint yelled..

"is that a threat Clint" John said as he got to the doorway..

"I dont make threats, i follow through" Clint said angrily..

Natalie and her mom began to make the salad as yelling was heard and they both turned their heads just in time to see John storming into the kitchen..

"were leaving" he snapped at natalie who looked at him with shock, her father was trailing closely behind them..

"whats going on" Vicki said with a confused look..

"its nothing just a misunderstanding that is all" Clint began as Natalie looked at him and then at John..

"John?" Natalie asked as the tensions rose in the kitchen..

"Lets go" he grabbed her hand as she stood there stunned..

Vicki's face turned to one of dispair.."Clint what is going on, what happened"

"Your making a bad mistake Mcbain" Clint said angrily..

"can someone tell me what is going on" Natalie snapped as her father looked at her..

"You want to tell her or do you want me to" John said angrily as his grip on her hand got tighter..

"Clint?" Vicki said with worry in her voice..

"dad what did you do" Natalie asked as she looked at him and then John..

"this is not the time nor the place for this" Clint said warningly..

"oh you should of thought about that before" John began angrily then he looked at Vicki.."Im sorry Mrs. Buchanan but were going to have to take a rain check"

Natalie felt her heart drop as she looked at John, her father and then her mother..This was so not good..

"But..but" Vicki said with confusion as Clint came next to her..

"Its ok sweetheart, i think they should leave" he began and her eyes got wide..

"No why...what did you say!" she yelled surprising them all..

"Natalie im serious, lets go" John tugged on her hand..

"she doesnt need to be with him, he is not right for her" Clint finally blurted loudly...

"Dad!" Natalie said in shock as he looked at her..

"I know what he does, i know the kind of person he is" he snapped at her..

"what are you talking about, why are you doing this Clint" Vick said angrily..

"Your upsetting your mother" Clint said through gritted teeth..

"Your upsetting her, why are you doing this dad!, Im an adult" Natalie yelled..

"your acting like a child" Clint snapped..

"thats enough Clint... dont talk to her like that" John finally snapped..

"we were just suppose to have lunch" Vicki now said with tears in her eyes..

"get out of my house" Clint said through gritted teeth..

"what! No, they are not leaving" Vicki began to cry..

"Mom please dont cry" Natalie began..

"Youve disrespected this family long enough" Clint yelled at her..

"i cant believe your doing this Clint" Vicki yelled through tears as she began to storm away..

"sweetheart wait" Clint yelled..

"Natalie lets go" John said through gritted teeth..

"See what you did, do you see what you did to your mother!" Clint yelled..

Natalie was completely speechless as she stood there, she was in shock, she honestly didnt even know what to say, tears were welling up in her eyes..It took her a second to realize John was tugging her out of the kitchen as he walked fast..

"this was a mistake coming here" John said angrily as they reached the door..

"If you leave this house with him Natalie then its done, i wont have a daughter" Clint yelled as John opened the door and Natalie turned to face her father, tears streaming down her face..

"i dont even know who you are anymore" she said with tears as John pulled her from the house and Clint slammed the door..

"Your father is out of his fucking mind" John snapped angrily as they got to his car..

"I just dont understand, why even ask us here" she said with tears..

"Lets go, its not worth it" John said as he opened her car door..

"did you see my mothers face" she said with tears..

"Im sorry natalie, part of me thought that your dad was really going to behave himself" he said honestly..

"what did he say to you" she cried..

"he tried to offer me money to stay away from you, he's a fucking bastard" he said with anger..Natalie covered her face as the tears streamed down, this was all such a mess now, everything was so fucked up..John put his arms around her and hugged her tight.."Im sorry ok... we shouldnt of came"

Natalie looked up at him with tears.."I just...i just want to go home " she said as she quickly got in his car..He contemplated saying something but thought against it, he too got into the car and quickly drove away..

Natalie was quiet for the car ride back to her place, John was too until he pulled into her apartment complex.."are you ok?" he finally asked..

The tears had finally stopped but she was anything but ok, she had walked out on her parents because of John, she was upset and annoyed with her father and with the situation. What if things didnt even work out with John, then what? She knew her father was worried for her, he knew what John did for a living and as much as she wanted to be able to see his side of this she just couldnt..

"Im fine" she lied as he looked at her..

"Your not fine natalie, what he did was wrong" he said honestly..

"You dont know my dad John, he's protective, he's worried about me" she said as she thought of her mother and how upset she was, she hated to see her mom like that and to know that she could of prevented all of that just by not going, well it was a hard pill to swallow..

"Your father tries to run your life and make decisions for you" he said with annoyance..

"I really dont want to talk about this anymore" she said as she got out of the car and he too got out..

"are you mad at me?" he asked with confusion as he walked over to her..

"Im mad at the situation, it took me a long time to get close to him" she said honestly..

"and by me being around it destroyed that, right" he said bitterly..

"Im not blaming you" she began..

"sort sounds like you are, what did you expect me to do just sit there while he offered me money in exchange for leaving you alone, would you of rathered i took the money" he was annoyed now..

"No of course not" she said with shock..

"then what it is cause im getting a vibe here" he said seriously...

"Im just upset ok, i have a right to be upset" she huffed as she walked past him..

"do you want me to just leave" he called out to her as she walked, she stopped and turned to look at him.."I dont really know what you want me to do right now"

"I dont want you to go" she said low and he walked over to her now, wrapping his around her tight..

"I feel very protective of you Natalie and it pisses me off to hear anyone talk down about you, even if it is a family member" he said honestly...

"I know i just hope its not all for nothing" she said low and he pulled back and looked at her..

"why would you say that" he said with confusion and hurt in his eyes..

"i dont know, i just...i really didnt mean it to sound like that" she said apologetically..

"i care about you natalie and if i havent made that clear to you" he said seriously..

"i care about you too, i just, you know considering the circumstances and all" she said as she regretted her words, he pulled back from her...

"what else do i need to do to prove to you that im serious about you" he said as he looked at her.."this is new for me"

"I know and its not that, its new for me too" she said low, she just wanted to shut her mouth already..

"are you having doubts? Is this about what you said last night cause if you want to retrack it" he began as her eyes got wide, her mind going back to what she had asked of him.."i was serious when i said i wouldnt push you to do something you didnt want to do"

"I know, its just been a weird day" she said with a shake of her head..

He pushed back his hair.."your telling me" he sighed..

"Lets just start over ok, its sunday lets do something fun" she said quickly, she hated for her last day before work to be ruined over this, she would have to deal with her father eventually and her mother for that matter..

"fun?" he raised an eyebrow at her and she swallowed the lump in her throat.."we could very well have two different opinions of fun" he smirked now..

"oh" she said low, suddenly flushing at his expression.."what exactlly did you have in mind" her voice came out as a whisper as he neared her again..

"do you trust me?" his voice was seductive and low..

She swallowed hard again and nodded her head yes...He smiled big...

"alright then" he took her hand.."fun it is" he began to lead her back into her apartment as apprehension filled her, she didnt know if she would regret this or not..


End file.
